Aunt Bea and Funeral jokes

[Guest guest]

That is cool Peggy. Were they from the show or her own house? Here is my funny for the day:Did you hear the one about the 80 year old lady that just got married?

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt

like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's

occupation.

'He's a funeral director,' she answered.

'Interesting,' the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those

years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered

proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in

her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a

preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'

Sarcoid/PF 3/2006 California Re: Dear Dr. BRUCE: Lou here,Perhaps it is because God just wants you fluffy. He knows that fluffy grandmas are the very best king.Hugs, Joyce D.PULMONARY FIBROSIS/LUPUS

1997 BRONCHIECTASIS 2004 INDIANA 2 COR. 12:10 ....when I am weak, then I am strong.> > > > > Hey there Doc!!! Have you heard anyone talk about taking a shower with> > > the cannula in the other room? I never take a shower with it on, and> > > yesterday had a bad experience. I really couldn't get back to my> > > bedroom to get the cannula so Hubby did for me. I do> not take hot> > > showers, just luke warm, (hate the heat) so it wasn't the humidity, it> > > was the exertion of drying off out of the tub afterwards. I started to> > > see large white spots in front of my eyes and thought I was going to> > > pass out, literally.> > >> > > I called oxy company this morning about the cannula's safety in the> > > tub. They said it was ok to use it as long as the

"concentrator" was> > > in the other room somewhere which mine is always in the d/room.> > > Anyhow, today I put the cannula on the bathroom doorknob as I got in> > > the shower and put it back on as soon as I shut off the water. Then> > > drying off was easy and no panic situation. I had not begun to think I> > > was that far along with needing the oxy. so very much. It is on #3 and> > > has been for some time. Those white spots concern me though. Next> >> > time I talk to pulmo will tell him about that.> > > Love, Lou (any input on this from you or anyone?)> > >> > > > > >> > >------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------> > >> > >No virus found in this incoming message.>

> >Checked by AVG Free Edition. > > >Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.19.1/1220 - Release Date: 1/11/2008 6:09 PM> > > > > >> >> > > > > > > > > > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > <!--> > #ygrp-mkp{> border:1px solid #d8d8d8;font- family:Arial; margin:14px 0px;padding: 0px

14px;}> #ygrp-mkp hr{> border:1px solid #d8d8d8;}> #ygrp-mkp #hd{> color:#628c2a; font-size: 85%;font- weight:bold; line-height: 122%;margin: 10px 0px;}> #ygrp-mkp #ads{> margin-bottom: 10px;}> #ygrp-mkp .ad{> padding:0 0;}> #ygrp-mkp .ad a{> color:#0000ff; text-decoration: none;}> -->> > > > <!--> > #ygrp-sponsor #ygrp-lc{> font-family: Arial;}> #ygrp-sponsor #ygrp-lc #hd{> margin:10px 0px;font-weight: bold;font- size:78%; line-height: 122%;}> #ygrp-sponsor #ygrp-lc .ad{> margin-bottom: 10px;padding: 0 0;}> -->> > > > <!--> > #ygrp-mlmsg {font-size:13px; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif;}> #ygrp-mlmsg table {font-size:inherit; font:100% ;}> #ygrp-mlmsg select, input, textarea {font:99% arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif;}> #ygrp-mlmsg pre, code {font:115% monospace;}> #ygrp-mlmsg * {line-height: 1.22em;}> #ygrp-text{> font-family: Georgia;> }> #ygrp-text p{> margin:0 0 1em 0;}> #ygrp-tpmsgs{> font-family: Arial;> clear:both;}> #ygrp-vitnav{> padding-top: 10px;font- family:Verdana; font-size: 77%;margin: 0;}> #ygrp-vitnav a{> padding:0 1px;}> #ygrp-actbar{> clear:both;margin: 25px 0;white-space: nowrap;color: #666;text- align:right; }> #ygrp-actbar

..left{> float:left;white- space:nowrap; }> .bld{font-weight: bold;}> #ygrp-grft{> font-family: Verdana;font- size:77%; padding:15px 0;}> #ygrp-ft{> font-family: verdana;font- size:77%; border-top: 1px solid #666;> padding:5px 0;> }> #ygrp-mlmsg #logo{> padding-bottom: 10px;}> > #ygrp-vital{> background-color: #e0ecee;margin- bottom:20px; padding:2px 0 8px 8px;}> #ygrp-vital #vithd{> font-size:77% ;font-family: Verdana;font- weight:bold; color:#333; text-transform: uppercase; }> #ygrp-vital ul{> padding:0;margin: 2px 0;}> #ygrp-vital ul li{> list-style-type: none;clear: both;border: 1px solid #e0ecee;> }> #ygrp-vital ul li .ct{> font-weight: bold;color: #ff7900;float: right;width: 2em;text- align:right; padding-right: .5em;}> #ygrp-vital ul li

..cat{> font-weight: bold;}> #ygrp-vital a{> text-decoration: none;}> > #ygrp-vital a:hover{> text-decoration: underline; }> > #ygrp-sponsor #hd{> color:#999;font- size:77%; }> #ygrp-sponsor #ov{> padding:6px 13px;background- color:#e0ecee; margin-bottom: 20px;}> #ygrp-sponsor #ov ul{> padding:0 0 0 8px;margin:0; }> #ygrp-sponsor #ov li{> list-style-type: square;padding: 6px 0;font-size: 77%;}> #ygrp-sponsor #ov li a{> text-decoration: none;font- size:130% ;}> #ygrp-sponsor #nc{> background-color: #eee;margin- bottom:20px; padding:0 8px;}> #ygrp-sponsor .ad{> padding:8px 0;}> #ygrp-sponsor .ad #hd1{> font-family: Arial;font- weight:bold; color:#628c2a; font-size: 100%;line- height:122% ;}>

#ygrp-sponsor .ad a{> text-decoration: none;}> #ygrp-sponsor .ad a:hover{> text-decoration: underline; }> #ygrp-sponsor .ad p{> margin:0;}> o{font-size: 0;}> .MsoNormal{> margin:0 0 0 0;}> #ygrp-text tt{> font-size:120% ;}> blockquote{margin: 0 0 0 4px;}> .replbq{margin: 4;}> -->> > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________> Never miss a thing. Make

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[Guest guest]

LOL too funny. I can't wait until reads this. He is KING of corny jokes. He buys certain popsicles because of the stupid jokes on the sticks that he HAS to read to me.. Love and Prayers, Peggy  ipf 6/04 Florida"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." That is cool Peggy.  Were they from the show or her own house?  Here is my funny for the day:Did you hear the one about the 80 year old lady that just got married?The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. 'He's a funeral director,' she answered. 'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'                                Sarcoid/PF  3/2006   California Re: Dear Dr. BRUCE: Lou here,Perhaps it is because God just wants you fluffy.  He knows that fluffy grandmas are the very best king.Hugs, Joyce D.PULMONARY FIBROSIS/LUPUS 1997    BRONCHIECTASIS 2004   INDIANA 2 COR. 12:10   ....when I am weak, then I am strong.> > > > > Hey there Doc!!! Have you heard anyone talk about taking a shower with> > > the cannula in the other room? I never take a shower with it on, and> > > yesterday had a bad experience. I really couldn't get back to my> > > bedroom to get the cannula so Hubby did for me. I do> not take hot> > > showers, just luke warm, (hate the heat) so it wasn't the humidity, it> > > was the exertion of drying off out of the tub afterwards. I started to> > > see large white spots in front of my eyes and thought I was going to> > > pass out, literally.> > >> > > I called oxy company this morning about the cannula's safety in the> > > tub. They said it was ok to use it as long as the "concentrator" was> > > in the other room somewhere which mine is always in the d/room.> > > Anyhow, today I put the cannula on the bathroom doorknob as I got in> > > the shower and put it back on as soon as I shut off the water. Then> > > drying off was easy and no panic situation. I had not begun to think I> > > was that far along with needing the oxy. so very much. It is on #3 and> > > has been for some time. Those white spots concern me though. Next> >> > time I talk to pulmo will tell him about that.> > > Love, Lou (any input on this from you or anyone?)> > >> > > > > >> > >------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------> > >> > >No virus found in this incoming message.> > >Checked by AVG Free Edition. > > >Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.19.1/1220 - Release Date: 1/11/2008 6:09 PM> > > > > >> >> > > > > > > > > > Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > <!--> > #ygrp-mkp{> border:1px solid #d8d8d8;font- family:Arial; margin:14px 0px;padding: 0px 14px;}> #ygrp-mkp hr{> border:1px solid #d8d8d8;}> #ygrp-mkp #hd{> color:#628c2a; font-size: 85%;font- weight:bold; line-height: 122%;margin: 10px 0px;}> #ygrp-mkp #ads{> margin-bottom: 10px;}> #ygrp-mkp .ad{> padding:0 0;}> #ygrp-mkp .ad a{> color:#0000ff; text-decoration: none;}> -->> > > > <!--> > #ygrp-sponsor #ygrp-lc{> font-family: Arial;}> #ygrp-sponsor #ygrp-lc #hd{> margin:10px 0px;font-weight: bold;font- size:78%; line-height: 122%;}> #ygrp-sponsor #ygrp-lc .ad{> margin-bottom: 10px;padding: 0 0;}> -->> > > > <!--> > #ygrp-mlmsg {font-size:13px; font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif;}> #ygrp-mlmsg table {font-size:inherit; font:100% ;}> #ygrp-mlmsg select, input, textarea {font:99% arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif;}> #ygrp-mlmsg pre, code {font:115% monospace;}> #ygrp-mlmsg * {line-height: 1.22em;}> #ygrp-text{> font-family: Georgia;> }> #ygrp-text p{> margin:0 0 1em 0;}> #ygrp-tpmsgs{> font-family: Arial;> clear:both;}> #ygrp-vitnav{> padding-top: 10px;font- family:Verdana; font-size: 77%;margin: 0;}> #ygrp-vitnav a{> padding:0 1px;}> #ygrp-actbar{> clear:both;margin: 25px 0;white-space: nowrap;color: #666;text- align:right; }> #ygrp-actbar .left{> float:left;white- space:nowrap; }> .bld{font-weight: bold;}> #ygrp-grft{> font-family: Verdana;font- size:77%; padding:15px 0;}> #ygrp-ft{> font-family: verdana;font- size:77%; border-top: 1px solid #666;> padding:5px 0;> }> #ygrp-mlmsg #logo{> padding-bottom: 10px;}> > #ygrp-vital{> background-color: #e0ecee;margin- bottom:20px; padding:2px 0 8px 8px;}> #ygrp-vital #vithd{> font-size:77% ;font-family: Verdana;font- weight:bold; color:#333; text-transform: uppercase; }> #ygrp-vital ul{> padding:0;margin: 2px 0;}> #ygrp-vital ul li{> list-style-type: none;clear: both;border: 1px solid #e0ecee;> }> #ygrp-vital ul li .ct{> font-weight: bold;color: #ff7900;float: right;width: 2em;text- align:right; padding-right: .5em;}> #ygrp-vital ul li .cat{> font-weight: bold;}> #ygrp-vital a{> text-decoration: none;}> > #ygrp-vital a:hover{> text-decoration: underline; }> > #ygrp-sponsor #hd{> color:#999;font- size:77%; }> #ygrp-sponsor #ov{> padding:6px 13px;background- color:#e0ecee; margin-bottom: 20px;}> #ygrp-sponsor #ov ul{> padding:0 0 0 8px;margin:0; }> #ygrp-sponsor #ov li{> list-style-type: square;padding: 6px 0;font-size: 77%;}> #ygrp-sponsor #ov li a{> text-decoration: none;font- size:130% ;}> #ygrp-sponsor #nc{> background-color: #eee;margin- bottom:20px; padding:0 8px;}> #ygrp-sponsor .ad{> padding:8px 0;}> #ygrp-sponsor .ad #hd1{> font-family: Arial;font- weight:bold; color:#628c2a; font-size: 100%;line- height:122% ;}> #ygrp-sponsor .ad a{> text-decoration: none;}> #ygrp-sponsor .ad a:hover{> text-decoration: underline; }> #ygrp-sponsor .ad p{> margin:0;}> o{font-size: 0;}> .MsoNormal{> margin:0 0 0 0;}> #ygrp-text tt{> font-size:120% ;}> blockquote{margin: 0 0 0 4px;}> .replbq{margin: 4;}> -->> > > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page. > http://www.yahoo. com/r/hs>Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.