Guest guest Posted May 12, 1999 Report Share Posted May 12, 1999 when do you think is a good age to talk about molestation and " private parts " . my friend with a 4 mo old son and i were discussing this and curious as to what experienced mothers with boys had done Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 1999 Report Share Posted May 13, 1999 , I have told my daughter that no one should be asking her to keep secrets from her mommy. If someone wants her to keep a secret from me than I can't keep her safe if their are secrets so she needs to let me know. So far she has done really well. It has mainly been situations like someone gave her a cookie and said don't tell. She always comes to me and tells and I give her lots of postitive reinforcement. Anytime she tells me something that is difficult and scary to tell me I always tell her how great it is that she does that. If she comes to me and tells me something she did I work really hard not to get angry because I want her to feel safe coming to me with difficult things. Wendi Re: spanking/abuse >I think that to teach them caution and to go with their intuition.,. If it >feels like a scary situation it probably is!! > >Christi We talk about nice touching (hugs, playful wrestling), bad touches (hitting, pinching) and secret touches (when someone says they cant tell about it) and that secret touches are very wrong for someone to do to someone else, and to tell an adult about it as soon as they can to make it stop. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ONElist: bringing the world together. http://www.onelist.com Join a new list today! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Breastfeeding is Best!! http://www.maclee.com/breastfeeding If you like this list also check out http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/weanedbuddies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 1999 Report Share Posted May 13, 1999 Shera, Good point. Also when you force your children to hug people they don't want to. You give them the message that they aren't allowed to say no to an adult. Wendi Re: spanking/abuse Stacie, Great point...we must teach our children that their body belongs to them. I feel that part of the way we teach them this is by respecting them. For example: Do not force your child to hug people that they don't want to. weather the person is a relative or not. The adult may get his/her feeling hurt but will recover.By forcing the child to touch people that they don't want to, we are teaching them that they are not in control of their bodies. Also and this is something that I strugle with daily because I want to touch her and hold her and chew on her all of the time. Pay attention to their body language. If the child wants to be left alone respect that. I feel that if I am able to establish within Tea the knowledge and understanding that she is in control of her body and what happens to it she will be able to protect herself. This is one of the reasons I will not be spanking her. I feel that by spanking a child you rip away the personal power that they have over their body and in essence are telling them; ' I am bigger than you and there for I can control you.' ONCE AGAIN I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT THIS IS ONLY MY OP. ~SHERA --- MamaToLexi@... wrote: > From: MamaToLexi@... > > In a message dated 5/12/99 5:02:57 PM Pacific > Daylight Time, Phawxsee@... > writes: > > << when do you think is a good age to talk about > molestation and " private > parts " . my friend with a 4 mo old son and i were > discussing this and curious > as to what experienced mothers with boys had done > >> > Ali, > I think you can start from when you start teaching > them WHAT their body parts > are, and that no one is allowed to touch them! > I don't know how far into molestation I would go > with Lexi until she was alot > older, enough to understand it more. > But you can start teaching them that is it THEIR > Body, from when you begin > teaching them about their bodies! > Hope that helped! > Stacie > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > How many communities do you think join ONElist each > day? > http://www.onelist.com > More than 1,000! > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Breastfeeding is Best!! > http://www.maclee.com/breastfeeding > > If you like this list also check out > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/weanedbuddies > _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 1999 Report Share Posted May 14, 1999 Wendi, Right on! It is so important that are children feel compleatly at ease when it comes to talking to us. I am so luck to have my mom. She has always been there to listen to me, even when what I had to say was upsetting. It has alwas been like that between us. Even when I was small I knew that I could tell my mommy anything, I also knew that I could ask her any question and not get in trouble. I think that it is very important that our children are never afraid to come to us about anything. I just had a thought pop into my head so I think I will share it...... I feel that one of the most important things that we can give to our children is SELF CONFIDENCE. ~shera --- Wendi wrote: > , > > I have told my daughter that no one should be asking > her to keep secrets from her mommy. If someone > wants her to keep a secret from me than I can't keep > her safe if their are secrets so she needs to let me > know. So far she has done really well. It has > mainly been situations like someone gave her a > cookie and said don't tell. She always comes to me > and tells and I give her lots of postitive > reinforcement. Anytime she tells me something that > is difficult and scary to tell me I always tell her > how great it is that she does that. If she comes to > me and tells me something she did I work really hard > not to get angry because I want her to feel safe > coming to me with difficult things. > > Wendi > > Re: spanking/abuse > > > > >I think that to teach them caution and to go with > their intuition.,. If it > >feels like a scary situation it probably is!! > > > >Christi > > We talk about nice touching (hugs, playful > wrestling), bad touches > (hitting, pinching) and secret touches (when someone > says they cant tell > about it) and that secret touches are very wrong for > someone to do to > someone else, and to tell an adult about it as soon > as they can to make it > stop. > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > ONElist: bringing the world together. > http://www.onelist.com > Join a new list today! > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Breastfeeding is Best!! > http://www.maclee.com/breastfeeding > > If you like this list also check out > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/weanedbuddies > ATTACHMENT part 2 application/ms-tnef _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 1999 Report Share Posted May 14, 1999 , Yes I have seen children being spanked for hitting. It is like DUH, hello parent where is the logic? I am going to teach my daughter that she is not to go off with anyone. I don't want to tell her not to talk to strangers because that does not seem possible to me. Also I don't want her to fear strangers. ~shera --- Howell wrote: > > > >Great point...we must teach our children that their > body belongs to > >them. I feel that part of the way we teach them > this is by respecting > >them. For example: Do not force your child to hug > people that they > >don't want to. weather the person is a relative or > not. The adult may > >get his/her feeling hurt but will recover.By > forcing the child to touch > > Have you ever been somewhere where people try > telling their children that > they should be polite and say " hello " or " thank you " > to others they meet in > public places? Betcha these are the same people who > tell their kids to > also not talk to strangers! How are we teaching our > kids where to draw the > line? lol some adults don't even do that well! > > Have you ever seen a child getting spanked for > hitting? lol > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Having difficulty getting " in synch " with list > members? > http://www.onelist.com > Try ONElist's Shared Calendar to organize events, > meetings and more! > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Breastfeeding is Best!! > http://www.maclee.com/breastfeeding > > If you like this list also check out > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/weanedbuddies > _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 1999 Report Share Posted May 14, 1999 Shera & , I have to counter on this point because that is really the only time I have ever spanked Kaija is when she hit me. I spanked her and asked her how it felt to be hit. She didn't like it and we agreed at that point that we wouldn't hit each other. She has never hit me since. I was pregnant at the time and she hit me hard in the stomach. Wendi Re: spanking/abuse , Yes I have seen children being spanked for hitting. It is like DUH, hello parent where is the logic? I am going to teach my daughter that she is not to go off with anyone. I don't want to tell her not to talk to strangers because that does not seem possible to me. Also I don't want her to fear strangers. ~shera --- Howell wrote: > > > >Great point...we must teach our children that their > body belongs to > >them. I feel that part of the way we teach them > this is by respecting > >them. For example: Do not force your child to hug > people that they > >don't want to. weather the person is a relative or > not. The adult may > >get his/her feeling hurt but will recover.By > forcing the child to touch > > Have you ever been somewhere where people try > telling their children that > they should be polite and say " hello " or " thank you " > to others they meet in > public places? Betcha these are the same people who > tell their kids to > also not talk to strangers! How are we teaching our > kids where to draw the > line? lol some adults don't even do that well! > > Have you ever seen a child getting spanked for > hitting? lol > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Having difficulty getting " in synch " with list > members? > http://www.onelist.com > Try ONElist's Shared Calendar to organize events, > meetings and more! > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Breastfeeding is Best!! > http://www.maclee.com/breastfeeding > > If you like this list also check out > http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/weanedbuddies > _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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