A strange old lady

[Guest guest]

I think we can all relate to this...

Please be careful. This person has found her way into my house and could also go to yours.A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I haveno idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did notinvite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was!She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight for the most part, butwhenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I look in themirror to check my appearance, there she is hogging the whole thing, completelyobliterating my gorgeous face and body. This is very rude! I have tried screaming ather, but she just screams back.The least she could do is offer to pay part of the rent, but no. Every once in awhile, I find a dollar bill stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofacushion, but it is not nearly enough. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but Ithink she is stealing money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a fewdays later, it's all gone!I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I can only conclude the old lady ispilfering from me. You'd think she would spend some of that money to buy wrinklecream. And money isn't the only thing I think she is stealing.Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate-especially the good stuff like ice cream,cookies, and candy. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better watch it,because she is really packing on the pounds. I suspect she realizes this, and to makeherself feel better, she is tampering with my scale to make me think I am putting onweight, too.For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play nasty games, like goinginto my closet when I'm not home and altering my clothes so they don't fit. And shemesses with my files and papers so I can't find anything. This is particularlyannoying since I am extremely neat and organized.She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into my mail, newspapers,and magazines before I do and blurs the print so I can't read it. And she has donesomething really sinister to the volume controls on my TV, radio, and telephone. Now,all I hear are mumbles and whispers. She has done other things-like make my stairssteeper, my vacuum heavier and all the knob and faucets harder to turn. She even mademy bed higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challenge.Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries before I put them away, applying glueto the lids, making it almost impossible for me to open the jars. She has taken thefun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something on, she stands in front of thedressing room mirror and monopolizes it. She looks totally ridiculous in some ofthose outfits, plus, she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me.Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she proved me wrong. She came alongwhen I went to get my picture taken for my driver's license, and just as the camerashutter clicked, she jumped in front of me!I hope she never finds out where YOU live.She got in my house, make sure you lock the doors.

Hugs, Jacy

~Dogs have owners but Cats have staff.

jacymail@...IM: jacygal - ICQ: 96949087www.geocities.com/mtn_rose

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