RE: Sex and ADT

[Guest guest]

Alan, I have read posts on another prostate cancer group, by a man who continued

to have sex with his wife while on ADT. He made it clear that the ADT did not

effect his physical ability to have sex, it rendered him uninterested. As I

recall his determination was fueled by his love for his wife and his desire to

maitain his ability for the time when he was off of the ADT. He had not had

surgery, but some form of radiation. I have to say that I really admired him.

Laurel

>

> I'm curious to know whether anyone who has been on ADT has been

> able to have sex.

>

> In my own experience, the ability to have sex was unaffected by

> ADT. What was affected was my libido, i.e., my interest in sex.

> Although I still found women attractive, it was not in a sexual

> way. In fact, when looking at a beautiful woman I had trouble

> even remembering why such a sight was once exciting. I still

> loved my wife, but not in a sexual way.

>

> The way I found out that I could still have sex, in spite of my

> apparently total lack of interest, was this:

>

> One night I thought to myself, my wife and I had both enjoyed

> sex. It was no longer of any interest to me, but why should she

> have a totally sexless marriage just because I had lost interest?

> So we got started. I had no interest. Anything she did to or

> for me had no effect. I felt no real sensations. I was bored.

> My mind was elsewhere. So I just concentrated on doing the

> things that she liked.

>

> Time passed. She began to get more and more aroused. That's

> when the magic happened. Her growing arousal started to get me

> excited. By the time she reached her own climax I was 100%

> interested and we were able to complete the act in the normal

> way. I too reached a very satisfying orgasm.

>

> It was not a one-time miracle. We did not have sex as often as

> before, but we still did it from time to time. Each time was the

> same. I would begin with no interest at all. I would have to

> exclusively focus on satisfying her. And each time I would find

> myself becoming involved and excited.

>

> I can't believe that I'm the only man who was capable of this

> response on ADT. I'm just an elderly, nerdy guy who likes to

> read books and fool around with computers. My only real

> advantage in all this, and it is a great advantage indeed, is

> that I have had a long and happy marriage to a woman I deeply

> care about. But that's an advantage that I know some others on

> this group also enjoy.

>

> I would like to propose the following to all who are on ADT:

>

> 1. Try to have sex. Don't just try once for five minutes. Make

> a commitment and put in a real effort. Persist in spite of lack

> of interest.

>

> 2. If you are lucky enough to have a willing partner, concentrate

> on satisfying your partner. Make it your job to ensure that

> your partner reaches her (or his) arousal and orgasm.

>

> 3. If you have not been lucky in relationships, then try alone.

> Maybe get a pornographic video and watch.

>

> Maybe you won't succeed. Maybe you'll be totally bored for a

> half hour. But all you will have lost is a half hour. If you do

> succeed you could regain something that was once important to you

> and which you thought you had lost forever.

>

> If any of you are doing this already, or are going to try it, I

> think it would be an encouragement to the whole group to report

> back and let people know about your success.

>

> Best of luck to all.

>

> Alan

>

[Guest guest]

It's overrated! Seriously though, five plus year into ADT and we gave up trying years ago. For us, it's about living, more than lovin'davide

 

Alan, I have read posts on another prostate cancer group, by a man who continued to have sex with his wife while on ADT. He made it clear that the ADT did not effect his physical ability to have sex, it rendered him uninterested. As I recall his determination was fueled by his love for his wife and his desire to maitain his ability for the time when he was off of the ADT. He had not had surgery, but some form of radiation. I have to say that I really admired him.

Laurel

>

> I'm curious to know whether anyone who has been on ADT has been

> able to have sex.

>

> In my own experience, the ability to have sex was unaffected by

> ADT. What was affected was my libido, i.e., my interest in sex.

> Although I still found women attractive, it was not in a sexual

> way. In fact, when looking at a beautiful woman I had trouble

> even remembering why such a sight was once exciting. I still

> loved my wife, but not in a sexual way.

>

> The way I found out that I could still have sex, in spite of my

> apparently total lack of interest, was this:

>

> One night I thought to myself, my wife and I had both enjoyed

> sex. It was no longer of any interest to me, but why should she

> have a totally sexless marriage just because I had lost interest?

> So we got started. I had no interest. Anything she did to or

> for me had no effect. I felt no real sensations. I was bored.

> My mind was elsewhere. So I just concentrated on doing the

> things that she liked.

>

> Time passed. She began to get more and more aroused. That's

> when the magic happened. Her growing arousal started to get me

> excited. By the time she reached her own climax I was 100%

> interested and we were able to complete the act in the normal

> way. I too reached a very satisfying orgasm.

>

> It was not a one-time miracle. We did not have sex as often as

> before, but we still did it from time to time. Each time was the

> same. I would begin with no interest at all. I would have to

> exclusively focus on satisfying her. And each time I would find

> myself becoming involved and excited.

>

> I can't believe that I'm the only man who was capable of this

> response on ADT. I'm just an elderly, nerdy guy who likes to

> read books and fool around with computers. My only real

> advantage in all this, and it is a great advantage indeed, is

> that I have had a long and happy marriage to a woman I deeply

> care about. But that's an advantage that I know some others on

> this group also enjoy.

>

> I would like to propose the following to all who are on ADT:

>

> 1. Try to have sex. Don't just try once for five minutes. Make

> a commitment and put in a real effort. Persist in spite of lack

> of interest.

>

> 2. If you are lucky enough to have a willing partner, concentrate

> on satisfying your partner. Make it your job to ensure that

> your partner reaches her (or his) arousal and orgasm.

>

> 3. If you have not been lucky in relationships, then try alone.

> Maybe get a pornographic video and watch.

>

> Maybe you won't succeed. Maybe you'll be totally bored for a

> half hour. But all you will have lost is a half hour. If you do

> succeed you could regain something that was once important to you

> and which you thought you had lost forever.

>

> If any of you are doing this already, or are going to try it, I

> think it would be an encouragement to the whole group to report

> back and let people know about your success.

>

> Best of luck to all.

>

> Alan

>

-- Emersonwww.flhw.orgEvery 2.25 minutes a man is diagnosed with prostate cancer.Every 19 minutes a man, dies from the disease.

[Guest guest]

The HORMONE prior to the radiation..has rendered my sex drive..to UNINTERESTED! Did try viagra..and though i MIGHT HAVE worked...not a problem it NOT WORKING any more. I'm 73.

To: ProstateCancerSupport Sent: Fri, May 7, 2010 2:01:33 PMSubject: Re: Re: Sex and ADT

It's overrated! Seriously though, five plus year into ADT and we gave up trying years ago. For us, it's about living, more than lovin'davide

On Fri, May 7, 2010 at 12:04 PM, Laurel <LaurelFaceaol (DOT) com> wrote:

Alan, I have read posts on another prostate cancer group, by a man who continued to have sex with his wife while on ADT. He made it clear that the ADT did not effect his physical ability to have sex, it rendered him uninterested. As I recall his determination was fueled by his love for his wife and his desire to maitain his ability for the time when he was off of the ADT. He had not had surgery, but some form of radiation. I have to say that I really admired him.Laurel

>> I'm curious to know whether anyone who has been on ADT has been> able to have sex.> > In my own experience, the ability to have sex was unaffected by> ADT. What was affected was my libido, i.e., my interest in sex.> Although I still found women attractive, it was not in a sexual> way. In fact, when looking at a beautiful woman I had trouble> even remembering why such a sight was once exciting. I still> loved my wife, but not in a sexual way.> > The way I found out that I could still have sex, in spite of my> apparently total lack of interest, was this:> > One night I thought to myself, my wife and I

had both enjoyed> sex. It was no longer of any interest to me, but why should she> have a totally sexless marriage just because I had lost interest?> So we got started. I had no interest. Anything she did to or> for me had no effect. I felt no real sensations. I was bored.> My mind was elsewhere. So I just concentrated on doing the> things that she liked.> > Time passed. She began to get more and more aroused. That's> when the magic happened. Her growing arousal started to get me> excited. By the time she reached her own climax I was 100%> interested and we were able to complete the act in the normal> way. I too reached a very satisfying orgasm.> > It was not a one-time miracle. We did not have sex as often as> before, but we still did it from time to time. Each time was the> same. I would begin with no interest at all. I would have to>

exclusively focus on satisfying her. And each time I would find> myself becoming involved and excited.> > I can't believe that I'm the only man who was capable of this> response on ADT. I'm just an elderly, nerdy guy who likes to> read books and fool around with computers. My only real> advantage in all this, and it is a great advantage indeed, is> that I have had a long and happy marriage to a woman I deeply> care about. But that's an advantage that I know some others on> this group also enjoy.> > I would like to propose the following to all who are on ADT:> > 1. Try to have sex. Don't just try once for five minutes. Make> a commitment and put in a real effort. Persist in spite of lack> of interest.> > 2. If you are lucky enough to have a willing partner, concentrate> on satisfying your partner. Make it your job to ensure

that> your partner reaches her (or his) arousal and orgasm.> > 3. If you have not been lucky in relationships, then try alone.> Maybe get a pornographic video and watch.> > Maybe you won't succeed. Maybe you'll be totally bored for a> half hour. But all you will have lost is a half hour. If you do> succeed you could regain something that was once important to you> and which you thought you had lost forever.> > If any of you are doing this already, or are going to try it, I> think it would be an encouragement to the whole group to report> back and let people know about your success.> > Best of luck to all.> > Alan>

-- Emersonwww.flhw.orgEvery 2.25 minutes a man is diagnosed with prostate cancer.Every 19 minutes a man, dies from the disease.

[Guest guest]

My experience is similar to Alan's. I've just ended a six-month Lupron dose, with salvage IMRT. A sexy woman walking down the street is still a head-turner, my eyes go straight to any exposed cleavage and a nice rear-end is a thing of beauty -- but the difference is there's no motivation to actually act on desire. It's a very weird effect.../stephen> To: ProstateCancerSupport > Date: Fri, 7 May 2010 08:50:06 -0700> Subject: Sex and ADT> > I'm curious to know whether anyone who has been on ADT has been> able to have sex.> > In my own experience, the ability to have sex was unaffected by> ADT. What was affected was my libido, i.e., my interest in sex.> Although I still found women attractive, it was not in a sexual> way. In fact, when looking at a beautiful woman I had trouble> even remembering why such a sight was once exciting. I still> loved my wife, but not in a sexual way.> > The way I found out that I could still have sex, in spite of my> apparently total lack of interest, was this:> > One night I thought to myself, my wife and I had both enjoyed> sex. It was no longer of any interest to me, but why should she> have a totally sexless marriage just because I had lost interest?> So we got started. I had no interest. Anything she did to or> for me had no effect. I felt no real sensations. I was bored.> My mind was elsewhere. So I just concentrated on doing the> things that she liked.> > Time passed. She began to get more and more aroused. That's> when the magic happened. Her growing arousal started to get me> excited. By the time she reached her own climax I was 100%> interested and we were able to complete the act in the normal> way. I too reached a very satisfying orgasm.> > It was not a one-time miracle. We did not have sex as often as> before, but we still did it from time to time. Each time was the> same. I would begin with no interest at all. I would have to> exclusively focus on satisfying her. And each time I would find> myself becoming involved and excited.> > I can't believe that I'm the only man who was capable of this> response on ADT. I'm just an elderly, nerdy guy who likes to> read books and fool around with computers. My only real> advantage in all this, and it is a great advantage indeed, is> that I have had a long and happy marriage to a woman I deeply> care about. But that's an advantage that I know some others on> this group also enjoy.> > I would like to propose the following to all who are on ADT:> > 1. Try to have sex. Don't just try once for five minutes. Make> a commitment and put in a real effort. Persist in spite of lack> of interest.> > 2. If you are lucky enough to have a willing partner, concentrate> on satisfying your partner. Make it your job to ensure that> your partner reaches her (or his) arousal and orgasm.> > 3. If you have not been lucky in relationships, then try alone.> Maybe get a pornographic video and watch.> > Maybe you won't succeed. Maybe you'll be totally bored for a> half hour. But all you will have lost is a half hour. If you do> succeed you could regain something that was once important to you> and which you thought you had lost forever.> > If any of you are doing this already, or are going to try it, I> think it would be an encouragement to the whole group to report> back and let people know about your success.> > Best of luck to all.> > Alan> > > > > > ------------------------------------> > There are just two rules for this group > 1 No Spam > 2 Be kind to others> > Please recognise that Prostate Cancerhas different guises and needs different levels of treatment and in some cases no treatment at all. Some men even with all options offered chose radical options that you would not choose. We only ask that people be informed before choice is made, we cannot and should not tell other members what to do, other than look at other options. > > Try to delete old material that is no longer applying when clicking reply> Try to change the title if the content requires it

[Guest guest]

All my nerves were involved with cancer so I lost the ability to get an erection with out the use of a TriMix shot. I was 14 months with a PSA of 0.0 after surgery and radiation of 8 1/2 weeks. In that time I was still interested in sex, but the shots gave me a 4 to 5 hour erection and it was painful. (even when we adjusted the CC's). In July of 09, my PSA shot up to 0.3, then Aug 1.24 then by Sept it was 2.50, so I went back on the ADT.. Since then our bottle of TriMix has been untouched. There is zero interest for me in sex, and my wife says the stress of my PSA going back up, so fast, so soon has took her interest in sex away too. I'm very happy for the men that can still enjoy sex. At 48 yrs old when my advanced prostate cancer was found.. that really ended sex for me.. I guess it's for the rest of my life.. (or so it seems that way right now).

[Guest guest]

I was very surprised yesterday when my

very busty and young barber leaned over right in front of me while cutting my

hair I actually averted my eyes. A year ago (pre ADT) I would have been looking

all over that.

I have had sex during ADT on a not so

regular basis. The cancer gave me ED problems starting a year ago, non

nerve sparing surgery made my ED problems permanent (most likely). Muse

helps and I get a pump next week. ADT has decrease my drive but every

once in a while nostalgia sets in. My wife is just starting to warm back

up. It is important to point out that even though ADT affects my desire and the

surgery prevents and erection I still have orgasms.

From: ProstateCancerSupport [mailto:ProstateCancerSupport ] On Behalf Of Alan Meyer

Sent: Friday, May 07, 2010 11:50

AM

To: ProstateCancerSupport

Subject:

Sex and ADT

I'm curious to know whether anyone who has been on ADT has been

able to have sex.

In my own experience, the ability to have sex was unaffected by

ADT. What was affected was my libido, i.e., my interest in sex.

Although I still found women attractive, it was not in a sexual

way. In fact, when looking at a beautiful woman I had trouble

even remembering why such a sight was once exciting. I still

loved my wife, but not in a sexual way.

[Guest guest]

Alan,

I am having ADT and my experience is the same as yours. It is interesting we are the only males that experience how femailes/estrogen effects their sex and their perceptions.

Having said all of that I do not worry an erection and interest because I have an implant. I am not married and porono does interest me anymore. I will go to Thailand in a few months and will play some with adult consentors as a quality of life issue.

I am concerned that when I do will it increase my testosterone as sex seems to for most men. I have friends in Thailand who do not have my problem who do get testosterone to increase their level at about the level when they were young men. Their skin is thicker, their stamina is better, their feeling of well being (security) is excellent and their bodies repar faster than people their age. Sorry I get angry when I cannot take advantage of that. The most important point for me is having sex -does it increase testosterone and does it effect my survivability.

I have had sex with ADT and it was fun and it was dependent upon her being aroused. It does make us better lovers for them.

Tom W.

To: ProstateCancerSupport Sent: Fri, May 7, 2010 8:50:06 AMSubject: Sex and ADT

I'm curious to know whether anyone who has been on ADT has beenable to have sex.In my own experience, the ability to have sex was unaffected byADT. What was affected was my libido, i.e., my interest in sex.Although I still found women attractive, it was not in a sexualway. In fact, when looking at a beautiful woman I had troubleeven remembering why such a sight was once exciting. I stillloved my wife, but not in a sexual way.The way I found out that I could still have sex, in spite of myapparently total lack of interest, was this:One night I thought to myself, my wife and I had both enjoyedsex. It was no longer of any interest to me, but why should shehave a totally sexless marriage just because I had lost interest?So we got started. I had no interest. Anything she did to orfor me had no effect. I felt no real sensations. I was bored.My mind was elsewhere. So I just concentrated

on doing thethings that she liked.Time passed. She began to get more and more aroused. That'swhen the magic happened. Her growing arousal started to get meexcited. By the time she reached her own climax I was 100%interested and we were able to complete the act in the normalway. I too reached a very satisfying orgasm.It was not a one-time miracle. We did not have sex as often asbefore, but we still did it from time to time. Each time was thesame. I would begin with no interest at all. I would have toexclusively focus on satisfying her. And each time I would findmyself becoming involved and excited.I can't believe that I'm the only man who was capable of thisresponse on ADT. I'm just an elderly, nerdy guy who likes toread books and fool around with computers. My only realadvantage in all this, and it is a great advantage indeed, isthat I have had a long and happy marriage to a

woman I deeplycare about. But that's an advantage that I know some others onthis group also enjoy.I would like to propose the following to all who are on ADT:1. Try to have sex. Don't just try once for five minutes. Makea commitment and put in a real effort. Persist in spite of lackof interest.2. If you are lucky enough to have a willing partner, concentrateon satisfying your partner. Make it your job to ensure thatyour partner reaches her (or his) arousal and orgasm.3. If you have not been lucky in relationships, then try alone.Maybe get a pornographic video and watch.Maybe you won't succeed. Maybe you'll be totally bored for ahalf hour. But all you will have lost is a half hour. If you dosucceed you could regain something that was once important to youand which you thought you had lost forever.If any of you are doing this already, or are going to try it, Ithink

it would be an encouragement to the whole group to reportback and let people know about your success.Best of luck to all.Alan

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[Guest guest]

I'm just starting radiation..had the hormone shot...and INTEREST just not there. I do ON OCCASION try to TAKE CARE OF MYSELF..as my wife is NO LONGER INTERESTED AT ALL..and with a viagra..

I can get a 90%er...which after some work...can accomplish the mission. I was surprised this last time that I did ejaculate..and felt REALLY GOOD...just not as much as there used to be. I'm told that will disappear...as time goes by and the readiation shots end. I still have five weeks to go... THANKS FOR SHARING ...really appreciate anyone sharing the INTIMATE details of all this.. I""M 73...and so is my wife.

To: ProstateCancerSupport Sent: Sat, May 8, 2010 1:50:41 PMSubject: RE: Sex and ADT

I was very surprised yesterday when my very busty and young barber leaned over right in front of me while cutting my hair I actually averted my eyes. A year ago (pre ADT) I would have been looking all over that.

I have had sex during ADT on a not so regular basis. The cancer gave me ED problems starting a year ago, non nerve sparing surgery made my ED problems permanent (most likely). Muse helps and I get a pump next week. ADT has decrease my drive but every once in a while nostalgia sets in. My wife is just starting to warm back up. It is important to point out that even though ADT affects my desire and the surgery prevents and erection I still have orgasms.

From: ProstateCancerSuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com [mailto: ProstateCancerSuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com ] On Behalf Of Alan MeyerSent: Friday, May 07, 2010 11:50 AMTo: ProstateCancerSuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) comSubject: [ProstateCancerSupp ort] Sex and ADT

I'm curious to know whether anyone who has been on ADT has beenable to have sex.In my own experience, the ability to have sex was unaffected byADT. What was affected was my libido, i.e., my interest in sex.Although I still found women attractive, it was not in a sexualway. In fact, when looking at a beautiful woman I had troubleeven remembering why such a sight was once exciting. I stillloved my wife, but not in a sexual way.

[Guest guest]

THANK YOU so much for your candid sharing. AND YOUNG...makes me feel at 73....that that is not a MAJOR ISSUE anymore..! AND IT IS NOT..compared to what could happen.. HANG IN THERE...

and the best of luck to you and your family. My wife and i too....no longer feel that is important. With four kids..and 10 grandkids..we have LOTS OF GOOD MEMORIES...making them! lol

To: ProstateCancerSupport Sent: Sat, May 8, 2010 10:57:46 AMSubject: Re: Sex and ADT

All my nerves were involved with cancer so I lost the ability to get an erection with out the use of a TriMix shot. I was 14 months with a PSA of 0.0 after surgery and radiation of 8 1/2 weeks. In that time I was still interested in sex, but the shots gave me a 4 to 5 hour erection and it was painful. (even when we adjusted the CC's). In July of 09, my PSA shot up to 0.3, then Aug 1.24 then by Sept it was 2.50, so I went back on the ADT.. Since then our bottle of TriMix has been untouched. There is zero interest for me in sex, and my wife says the stress of my PSA going back up, so fast, so soon has took her interest in sex away too. I'm very happy for the men that can still enjoy sex. At 48 yrs old when my advanced prostate cancer was found.. that really ended sex for me.. I guess it's for the rest of my life.. (or so it seems that way right now).