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Well, I haven't been to a Dr. yet, so 'they' don't think much at all about me.

LOL

Actually, it's not funny.

:D Thank you guys for your concern.

I mostly think I'm going to die soon. LOL ok, that's funny. lol But not to be

toooo bleak...

I'll be in IL for another week! bluh... i have to keep my courage up to see this Dr. because although he's a family friend, he never listens to a word I say. He's my hope now, though, because as you know I have no money and no insurance and he will consult with me for free. Once I talk to him, i'm going to hit the list of services I saved from my original questions and see if I can get some luck.I don't know why I'd have seizures. I sure hope that's not it.

Love to you all,

Yellow

shelly smiegal <shelsmieg2000@...> wrote:

Yellow, So sorry to hear all that you''re going through, they don't think it's seizures of any kind, do they? That is what popped in my head first, so I just wanted to ask. Will keep you in my prayers. God bless. ~"Y, Danecier" <yellowplugempress@...> wrote: Dear everybody,Thank you so much for responding. I haven't been online much lately, because I've been sick and exhausted. I'm making my way back to MI from St. Louis, unfortunately, I couldn't find housing in time. I can keep the job, though, and if I find another job and a new home there, I'll get back to it. (It was part time)Life is still very good.:)I'd say they were Migranes, even though they don't pulsate, it's more like a vibration, and though it doesn't correspond with eye pain. It doesn't last longer than a few minutes or so, because it descends on me and stops everything until I remain perfectly still and breathe as deeply as I can... Then it fades. If I had to describe the pain, I'd say it was the blue/silver color of lightening, with a tremble... like an burgeoning electric current. Actually, the eye

trouble is a real constant with me -- I've been wearing sunglasses (I buy them with my prescription) everyday and into the night sometimes, for about three years now. It's not dry, although I used to have dry eyes in HS. It's a black, hot, sometimes just simmer, behind my eye balls. I can't predict when it will be bad. I have to have 'dark hours' as I call them, or my eye lids swell and my vision is shot for the next day.I ask you guys, because I'm afraid it might be my immune system attacking something that could cause real problems.The brain thing is new... just the past few months... and it doesn't really involve any increased heart rate... (outside my anxious fear).I recently attended a ceremony and got really excited when I realized how wonderful it would be... that's an example of the brain thing... it came and went just as quickly as I tried to calm myself down.I don't know if this has anything to do with

my recent health issues, but I never had this problem before. I have to be careful because there is a high incidence of strokes, heart disease, arthritis, cancer AND diabetes in my family.yeah, i know.It's probably a good thing I'm going back to MI. My parents have an internist friend there, who I'm sure, would cop me a few free consultations.LOL.I can't believe I finished this. I'm so tired right now.Love to you all,Yellow

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Thank you, Wally.

I gotta agree with you.

I'll be back in MI this Tuesday, though and hopefully I'll have

enough courage to see the doc.

It's wierd for me, because my family (even with our med history) has

always been strong... (or faux strong) My father/brother were/are bodybuilders.

Pain has always been described as 'fatigue'... 'i'm so tired'

so it's pretty hard sometimes for me to distinguish the two.

now i know whenever i'm really tired to take something for pain and it

almost invariably lifts off the weight. i'm learning also that fatigue without

a grainy weight is just that, fatigue...

My parents are still trying to convince me to live as if there were nothing

wrong with me, but I've tried it (because sometimes I really have thought that

I could just be pretending, or that it's all in my head) and I bump right into

that crazy wall... there has never been anything in my life that I couldn't get around!

Just try standing up in the old fashioned way and discover that you're barely moving at all! LOL

or try walking without that bizarre twist at the waist that you need to get your

legs out in front of you... or try to bend those lovely trunklike ankles of yours...

lol yeah, so...

It's so interesting to me to read when someone visits one doctor or another... and I

have to try really hard not to be jealous, because I really don't have a clue what

it's like to just GO when you are supposed to. I've promised myself that my children

will be VERY familiar with regularly scheduled dr's visits ---even the dentist...

to this day my parents wait until they think they'll die and then rush off to the ER.

LOL --- there is something infinitely wrong about that...

:D

Anyway, thanks for your concern. I'll let you know what the good Dr. says to me next week, although I'm certain it will be his old refrain about meat eating (even though I'm

a vegetarian) and weight loss.

My cousin told me I should start off my visit with , "Hi, I know I'm fat, but I have soemthing else to talk to you about..."

love to you all,

yellowWaldyne Bieberdorf <waldyne@...> wrote:

HELLO YELLOW,

That is a terrible way to live.

you are on my prayer list. Please

find out what this head and eye pain

is.

Love and hugs,

Wally

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Hi Yellow,

Its not healthy for anyone to deny that there is sickness,

if there is. The sickness won't go away and I do know a

lot of people do this defence bit of denial. It is not a sign

of strength, but of weakness.And I feel for

you when your own family even denys that you have

something drastic that needs attention imediately.

Doctors are given us to help our ills. There is no crime

(or sin) in going to them and I agree with you, learn and

dont be angry, but do better for your own children.

You just be your loving self and let us know when the day

is that you go to him.

Love ya, Wally

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thank you!

I'll be going on Tuesday hopefully.

It'll be a walk -in that afternoon if we get into town in tme.

otherwise it will have to be Thursday, because he doens't work wednesdays.

love to you all,

YellowWaldyne Bieberdorf <waldyne@...> wrote:

Hi Yellow,

Its not healthy for anyone to deny that there is sickness,

if there is. The sickness won't go away and I do know a

lot of people do this defence bit of denial. It is not a sign

of strength, but of weakness.And I feel for

you when your own family even denys that you have

something drastic that needs attention imediately.

Doctors are given us to help our ills. There is no crime

(or sin) in going to them and I agree with you, learn and

dont be angry, but do better for your own children.

You just be your loving self and let us know when the day

is that you go to him.

Love ya, Wally

__________________________________________________

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