fw: Rugby Rituals...

[Guest guest]

Some of you might enjoy this

Caroline

Jersey

Seeing how the All Blacks were motivated by performing the 'Haka' before

their world cup games, the other nations were asked to suggest pre-match

rituals of their own.

The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air

and attach bells to their ankles for a while before moaning about how

they invented the game, and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair

that everyone can beat them now.

The Scotland team will chant " You lookin' at me Jimmy? " before smashing

an Irn Bru bottle over their opponents heads.

The Ireland team will spilt into two, with the Southern half performing

a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the traditional route from

their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

Unfortunately the Welsh suggestion has been vetoed by the RSPCA.

Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory

claim it as their own " Las-In-Goals-Areas " and then be forcibly removed

by the Stewards.

Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important

than the other thirteen whom they will corral between the posts whilst

they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.

The Americans will not be there until half time. In future years they

will alter the records to show that they were in fact the most important

team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a film called " Saving No8

Lyle " .

Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marsaillaise and hold the rest of

the side to ransom.

The Italian team will arrive in red penis substituting cars, sexually

harass the female stewards and then run away.

The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch mow it and then

claim that it was all in line with the European " grass quotas " . They

will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time.

The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good

salaries to the key opposition players (over 35) and then run around the

pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the

ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).

The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the

opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across the

halfway line, let sheep loose in the opposition half and burn the

officials.

The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative singing

and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite their mates to come

and live with them in Shepherds Bush before beating up all the women on

the touchline.

Germain