Re: Re: more sad news

[Guest guest]

a,

Yes the baby was definitely wanted, it would have been our first. I am 34 so I

still have time to keep trying and we did get pregnant on the first try. I'm

trying to hold onto those things. Thank you for those ideas, we actually

already had names picked out for a boy or a girl, I was only 7 weeks so I don't

know what is was. I will definitely buy a plant, that is a great idea. My

husband thought it was a boy and I thought it was a girl. I still want to keep

those names for when we have kids.

It does seem like everybody around me is pregnant now. After I got home Kaiser

called me and said they wanted to schedule my ultrasound (I had dropped off the

paperwork the day before for my 18 week ultrasound) and I just said you can

throw that request out, I just lost my baby this morning. I still need to see

my OBgyn and maybe he can answer some of these questions for me.

I hope that things get easier.

Benita

a Diviney wrote:

> Dear Benita:

>

> Yes, I believe I would have been better off not to have seen my baby, (egg

> sac and eyes). There was no mistake of what it was, and I STILL think about

> it, and I have had many nightmares about flushing it down the toilet. I

> don't know how much longer I will dream about this. This may be very

> different for you. This baby was wanted and we were very surprised by it.

> I am 41 years old, and was told I would never have another baby, (my baby is

> 18 years old). We have always wanted another baby, so this was devasting to

> us. I lost my baby this past June, so it has not been a year. I still have

> a hard time in stores seeing any baby supplies or clothing, (we had started

> to plan for the baby, and even had picked out names). I was only 13 weeks

> pregnant, but we loved the baby very much.

>

> Here are so things that we have decided to do to cope with this situation.

>

> First, since I believe that GOD does not make mistakes, we talk about the

> baby. I know that the baby is in heaven and that God had better plans for

> our wonderful baby. Since I believe children are a gift from God, and that

> any child that God has given to me is his to start out with, I know he knows

> best. I know that my 18 year old daughter is ON LOAN to me from God. She

> belongs to God, not us and it has been my job to take care of her and to be

> her mother. I love her with all my heart, and know that God has a wonderful

> plan for her.

>

> My husband and I have bought a Flower bush and planted it in the yard (which

> we will have to dig up when we move). It was bought to remember our little

> baby.

>

> Second, name your little baby. We still have not done that. In my heart, I

> believe the baby was a little girl, don't ask me why, I just have that

> feeling. We will pick out a girl's name and remember that name to be our

> little baby.

>

> When I go to church, I love holding everyone's babies. Yes, at the start

> this was very hard, and I cried, but it is getting a little easier now. I

> am happy for those that have beautiful babies, and I am thrilled that they

> have happy homes.

>

> If God does not bless us with another little baby, then my husband and I

> plan to be foster parents. There are many little babies out there that need

> love and attention, and we have lots of that to give. I am NOT done being a

> mommy and even if my 18 year old daughter feels she is too old to be hugged,

> I still do it.

>

> Make plans for your future, I have no idea what your age is, but if God

> wants you to be a mommy, he will bless you with another child. If not, then

> there are still ways that you can give your love to another child and feel

> the warm that only a wonderful child can give back.

>

> I am more than happy to talk with you again as well. I believe this is a

> very hard issue to deal with, because no one can understand it unless they

> have gone through it. I always have felt bad for anyone that has lost their

> child, but now I understand the deep pain of losing your unborn child, and

> it is very hard to explain that to other people.

>

> Get lots of rest dear friend and know that I care and understand.

>

> Sincerely,

>

> a Diviney

> Re: more sad news

> > >

> > > > I am so, so sorry for your loss. God has other plans for the little

> > > > angel you lost. Take care,

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > > I had a miscarriage this morning. I knew it was happening and there

> > > > was

> > > > > nothing I could do. I went to my routine appt yesterday and

> > > > everything

> > > > > was fine, they found the heartbeat on the ultrasound and she said

> > > > that

> > > > > egg sac looked really strong. Shortly after I left there I went to

> > > > the

> > > > > bathroom and noticed some fresh blood and tried not to panic, I

> > > > figured

> > > > > it was because she had just done a pelvic exam. I started having

> > > > dull

> > > > > cramping a few hours later and just felt pressure in my pelvis.

> > > > Before

> > > > > I went to bed I had more blood and knew that something was wrong. I

> > > > > cried myself to sleep and woke up about 4:00 with even more blood

> > > > and

> > > > > clots. At about 6:00 I got up to say goodbye to my husband and knew

> > > > > that was it. There was blood everywhere and I found the egg sac in

> > > > the

> > > > > toilet. I put it in a baggy and my husband drove me to the

> > > > hospital.

> > > > > You could see the veins and the eyes inside the egg sac. I think

> > > > the

> > > > > worst part of this whole ordeal was waiting in the emergency room,

> > > > they

> > > > > did an ultrasound and still wanted to do another one to confirm. I

> > > > kept

> > > > > telling them I held the egg sac in my hand, I know I miscarried! 6

> > > > > hours later they told me I miscarried and it wasn't my fault, blah,

> > > > > blah, blah. Luckily I had a very nice compassionate nurse helping

> > > > me.

> > > > >

> > > > > I am just going to go rest for awhile now. I don't know if I'll go

> > > > no

> > > > > mail for awhile, I don't know how exactly I feel at this point, just

> > > > > kind of numb. All in the course of about 3 weeks my sister had a

> > > > > miscarriage, my aunt passed away, and now I had a miscarriage. I'm

> > > > > wondering how much more I can take. I know this was God's will and

> > > > > luckily it happened quickly. My body knew exactly what to do, it

> > > > passed

> > > > > the baby, bled a lot and then the cervix closed up so I don't even

> > > > have

> > > > > to have a D & C. Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

> > > > >

> > > > > Benita

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Children are a reward from the Lord.

> > > > Psalm 127:3

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

My personal theory on exams causing m/c, or sex causing them, or some

other activity like that... my guess is that even though there's a

heartbeat and a PERSON in there, developing and growing and maybe even

normal and healthy, somehow the attachment to the uterine wall wasn't

secure enough, and when it gets jostled, it breaks loose. My m/c

happened really fast, just like yours, and it was complete and over

within just a few hours. My mind likes to know the whys and wherefores,

and it killed me not to know just exactly why, but God told me to let it

go, that there were some things that I just wouldn't get to know right

now. But of course, I like to think and reason, and I think that maybe,

even though my baby was normal and healthy, that if the connections were

faulty, that it would've been a bad problem later in the pgcy and

might've caused my baby not to develop properly, etc etc...

I know how desolate it feels to realize that two days ago you were pg,

and now you're not... the emptiness, the sickening feeling you get when,

two weeks down the road, someone you haven't seen in a little while

congratulates you on being pg and you have to explain to them that you

m/c'd, and they don't have the first clue what to say to you, so they

say something clumsy and painful...

All in all, I am glad that I had told people of my pgcy, however,

because I do have really close friends who have also m/c'd, and they DID

know how to help me and love me and understand me. I needed support

desperately in those first weeks, and if I'd never told anyone I was pg,

they wouldn't have then known of my loss.

((((((((((Benita))))))))))

I am so sorry you had to experience this.

-K

Benita Pautz wrote:

> Kris,

>

> That's exactly what it was, I pulled it out of the toilet and I just

> freaked,

> I was crying and screaming for my husband. Somehow I actually fell

> asleep

> last night. I went in the jacuzzi for a little while and just tried

> to relax

> before I went to bed, but then I woke up this morning and all the

> tears are

> back again. 2 days ago I was pregnant. I had seen the heart beating

> strong

> and they gave me my first picture at 3:00, she said it looked great

> and by

> 5:00 I started cramping and now I have no baby. I didn't know

> miscarriages

> could happen that fast. I stopped at the bathroom after I left my

> appt and I

> noticed red blood but I thought it was just because she had just done

> a

> pelvic exam and a transvaginal ultrasound. Can an exam cause a

> miscarriage?? I just don't understand. I guess I'm going through the

>

> grieving process, since I'm questioning everything.

>

> I'm sorry you are having to re-live this, but I have to tell you it is

> very

> comforting to know that somebody else is out there that I can talk to

> that

> has been through the same thing. Actually I think I remember when you

> posted

> that happened, weren't you and your husband away for the weekend?

> Luckily my

> husband cleaned up most of the blood in the bathroom before I went in

> there.

> Oh this is so hard, I need to go pack up my baby stuff, until I can

> use it

> later.

>

> Benita

[Guest guest]

Please check with your doctor about getting into a jacuzzi or hot tub or

even taking a bath. I was told to stay out of them for one week, (at

least).

a

Re: more sad news

> > > >

> > > > > I am so, so sorry for your loss. God has other plans for the

> > > little

> > > > > angel you lost. Take care,

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > I had a miscarriage this morning. I knew it was happening and

> > > there

> > > > > was

> > > > > > nothing I could do. I went to my routine appt yesterday and

> > > > > everything

> > > > > > was fine, they found the heartbeat on the ultrasound and she

> > > said

> > > > > that

> > > > > > egg sac looked really strong. Shortly after I left there I went

> > > to

> > > > > the

> > > > > > bathroom and noticed some fresh blood and tried not to panic, I

> > > > > figured

> > > > > > it was because she had just done a pelvic exam. I started

> > > having

> > > > > dull

> > > > > > cramping a few hours later and just felt pressure in my pelvis.

> > > > > Before

> > > > > > I went to bed I had more blood and knew that something was

> > > wrong. I

> > > > > > cried myself to sleep and woke up about 4:00 with even more

> > > blood

> > > > > and

> > > > > > clots. At about 6:00 I got up to say goodbye to my husband and

> > > knew

> > > > > > that was it. There was blood everywhere and I found the egg sac

> > > in

> > > > > the

> > > > > > toilet. I put it in a baggy and my husband drove me to the

> > > > > hospital.

> > > > > > You could see the veins and the eyes inside the egg sac. I

> > > think

> > > > > the

> > > > > > worst part of this whole ordeal was waiting in the emergency

> > > room,

> > > > > they

> > > > > > did an ultrasound and still wanted to do another one to

> > > confirm. I

> > > > > kept

> > > > > > telling them I held the egg sac in my hand, I know I

> > > miscarried! 6

> > > > > > hours later they told me I miscarried and it wasn't my fault,

> > > blah,

> > > > > > blah, blah. Luckily I had a very nice compassionate nurse

> > > helping

> > > > > me.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I am just going to go rest for awhile now. I don't know if I'll

> > > go

> > > > > no

> > > > > > mail for awhile, I don't know how exactly I feel at this point,

> > > just

> > > > > > kind of numb. All in the course of about 3 weeks my sister had

> > > a

> > > > > > miscarriage, my aunt passed away, and now I had a miscarriage.

> > > I'm

> > > > > > wondering how much more I can take. I know this was God's will

> > > and

> > > > > > luckily it happened quickly. My body knew exactly what to do,

> > > it

> > > > > passed

> > > > > > the baby, bled a lot and then the cervix closed up so I don't

> > > even

> > > > > have

> > > > > > to have a D & C. Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Benita

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Children are a reward from the Lord.

> > > > > Psalm 127:3

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

a,

I asked them and they said it was fine. I better check with my OB, thanks.

Benita

a Diviney wrote:

> Please check with your doctor about getting into a jacuzzi or hot tub or

> even taking a bath. I was told to stay out of them for one week, (at

> least).

>

> a

> Re: more sad news

> > > > >

> > > > > > I am so, so sorry for your loss. God has other plans for the

> > > > little

> > > > > > angel you lost. Take care,

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > > I had a miscarriage this morning. I knew it was happening and

> > > > there

> > > > > > was

> > > > > > > nothing I could do. I went to my routine appt yesterday and

> > > > > > everything

> > > > > > > was fine, they found the heartbeat on the ultrasound and she

> > > > said

> > > > > > that

> > > > > > > egg sac looked really strong. Shortly after I left there I went

> > > > to

> > > > > > the

> > > > > > > bathroom and noticed some fresh blood and tried not to panic, I

> > > > > > figured

> > > > > > > it was because she had just done a pelvic exam. I started

> > > > having

> > > > > > dull

> > > > > > > cramping a few hours later and just felt pressure in my pelvis.

> > > > > > Before

> > > > > > > I went to bed I had more blood and knew that something was

> > > > wrong. I

> > > > > > > cried myself to sleep and woke up about 4:00 with even more

> > > > blood

> > > > > > and

> > > > > > > clots. At about 6:00 I got up to say goodbye to my husband and

> > > > knew

> > > > > > > that was it. There was blood everywhere and I found the egg sac

> > > > in

> > > > > > the

> > > > > > > toilet. I put it in a baggy and my husband drove me to the

> > > > > > hospital.

> > > > > > > You could see the veins and the eyes inside the egg sac. I

> > > > think

> > > > > > the

> > > > > > > worst part of this whole ordeal was waiting in the emergency

> > > > room,

> > > > > > they

> > > > > > > did an ultrasound and still wanted to do another one to

> > > > confirm. I

> > > > > > kept

> > > > > > > telling them I held the egg sac in my hand, I know I

> > > > miscarried! 6

> > > > > > > hours later they told me I miscarried and it wasn't my fault,

> > > > blah,

> > > > > > > blah, blah. Luckily I had a very nice compassionate nurse

> > > > helping

> > > > > > me.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am just going to go rest for awhile now. I don't know if I'll

> > > > go

> > > > > > no

> > > > > > > mail for awhile, I don't know how exactly I feel at this point,

> > > > just

> > > > > > > kind of numb. All in the course of about 3 weeks my sister had

> > > > a

> > > > > > > miscarriage, my aunt passed away, and now I had a miscarriage.

> > > > I'm

> > > > > > > wondering how much more I can take. I know this was God's will

> > > > and

> > > > > > > luckily it happened quickly. My body knew exactly what to do,

> > > > it

> > > > > > passed

> > > > > > > the baby, bled a lot and then the cervix closed up so I don't

> > > > even

> > > > > > have

> > > > > > > to have a D & C. Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Benita

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Children are a reward from the Lord.

> > > > > > Psalm 127:3

> > > > > >

> > > > > >