Sex and ADT

[Guest guest]

I'm curious to know whether anyone who has been on ADT has been

able to have sex.

In my own experience, the ability to have sex was unaffected by

ADT. What was affected was my libido, i.e., my interest in sex.

Although I still found women attractive, it was not in a sexual

way. In fact, when looking at a beautiful woman I had trouble

even remembering why such a sight was once exciting. I still

loved my wife, but not in a sexual way.

The way I found out that I could still have sex, in spite of my

apparently total lack of interest, was this:

One night I thought to myself, my wife and I had both enjoyed

sex. It was no longer of any interest to me, but why should she

have a totally sexless marriage just because I had lost interest?

So we got started. I had no interest. Anything she did to or

for me had no effect. I felt no real sensations. I was bored.

My mind was elsewhere. So I just concentrated on doing the

things that she liked.

Time passed. She began to get more and more aroused. That's

when the magic happened. Her growing arousal started to get me

excited. By the time she reached her own climax I was 100%

interested and we were able to complete the act in the normal

way. I too reached a very satisfying orgasm.

It was not a one-time miracle. We did not have sex as often as

before, but we still did it from time to time. Each time was the

same. I would begin with no interest at all. I would have to

exclusively focus on satisfying her. And each time I would find

myself becoming involved and excited.

I can't believe that I'm the only man who was capable of this

response on ADT. I'm just an elderly, nerdy guy who likes to

read books and fool around with computers. My only real

advantage in all this, and it is a great advantage indeed, is

that I have had a long and happy marriage to a woman I deeply

care about. But that's an advantage that I know some others on

this group also enjoy.

I would like to propose the following to all who are on ADT:

1. Try to have sex. Don't just try once for five minutes. Make

a commitment and put in a real effort. Persist in spite of lack

of interest.

2. If you are lucky enough to have a willing partner, concentrate

on satisfying your partner. Make it your job to ensure that

your partner reaches her (or his) arousal and orgasm.

3. If you have not been lucky in relationships, then try alone.

Maybe get a pornographic video and watch.

Maybe you won't succeed. Maybe you'll be totally bored for a

half hour. But all you will have lost is a half hour. If you do

succeed you could regain something that was once important to you

and which you thought you had lost forever.

If any of you are doing this already, or are going to try it, I

think it would be an encouragement to the whole group to report

back and let people know about your success.

Best of luck to all.

Alan