Re: RA & Depression-JENNI

[Guest guest]

hasn't your doc asked you about depression? you seem to have a really good

sense of

humor, but it also sounds like you're overwhelmed and could use an

anti-depressant. I

hear ya loud and clear about all the doc appointments, but it would really be

worth it to

see a board certified psychiatrist to assess you for what they can do. your

positive spirit

comes through in your writing.

wendy

> Hi Lynne,

>

> Between the effects of the RA, the inability to carry on your previous life,

and the various

medications with their piles of side effects in tiny print, it's a wonder

EVERYONE with RA

isn't depressed all the damn time.

>

> I've battled depression on and off since I was a teenager. I can remember a

few periods

of being happy, but mostly they were linked to stupid stuff like " I've got a new

girlfriend! "

or " I'm going to college! " That's different from an inner happy that isn't

dependant on

situational catalysts. I was suicidal a few times, but again, that was linked

to things that

were happening in my life such as " I've been dumped. " I've had RA since I was

twelve-ish

and been taking prednisone the entire time along with a whole slew of other

medications

over the years. And we all know the teen years are hell on earth even for

normal kids. So I

really have no way to say whether my depression is linked to my RA itself, the

medication I

take for it, or just the fact that my life sucks and I have no friends and I

spilled a gallon of

milk all over the kitchen floor this morning because I thought my wrists were

strong

enough to pick up the container one-handed and it turned out they're not.

>

> I remember taking Zoloft for a while as a teen, but it didn't seem to have any

effect. I

also took... hell, I can't remember the name... something with an " A " that was

prescribed

as a sleep\relaxation aid for fibromyalgia, but when I did a little research on

the drug I

found it's more commonly used as an anti-anxiety medication. It didn't have

much effect

either. I'm starting to think most medications just turn up their toes and die

when they

see me opening the bottle because they know I'm such a cynical mule.

>

> I haven't brought up the constant depression to my doctor, because at this

point I'm

taking so many medications that I'm amazed the hissing cocktail of drugs that is

my blood

doesn't burn acid-like through the tubes they like to suck it into. We've got

prednisone,

DMARD, anti-ulcer, anti-nausea, painkiller, sleep aid, iron supplement, calcium

supplement, folic acid, NSAID... it never freaking ends. Anti-depressant on top

of it might

just make me explode, or turn me into a weird science experiment and they'd have

to keep

me in a hollow glass tube like on Aliens. And I know my doctor would recommend

I see a

psychiatrist\psychologist of some sort and I'm already pissing away my free time

seeing

doctors and hospitals and lab workers ten times a week. I just can't handle

anything more

right now. I'm never going to get the sterile plastic-glove waiting-room smell

out of my

brain as it is. I guess some people would say that I'm in denial about what I

have to do

and that avoiding the doctors and medications isn't the answer, but ... eff it.

I've been

fighting this disease for ten years and there comes a point where I just CAN'T

TAKE IT

ANYMORE.

>

> So, what I meant to say is that it's not at all uncommon to feel depressed

with RA. The

cause is up for debate, but the result's the same. Talk to your doctor about it

if it's

interfering with your life, and she\he can recommend someone else to talk to or

prescribe

something, even temporarily, that will stabilize your moods. There are a lot of

choices out

there these days and there's probably a drug available that won't cause the

blood test

problems you experienced once.

>

> Jenni