Guest guest Posted February 10, 2008 Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.Dear Dogs and Cats,The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. Theother dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a pawprint in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for itbecoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasingin the slightest.The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't helpbecause I fall faster than you can run.I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorryabout this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch toensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ballwhen they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to eachother stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know thatsticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the otherend to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bath room. Ifby some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, itis not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or getyour paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exitthrough the same door I entered. Also, I have been using thebathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat'sbutt. I cannot stress this enough!To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message onour front door:To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets1. They live here. You don't.2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off thefurniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughterwho is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:1. Eat less2. Don't ask for money3 Are easier to train4. Usually come when called5. Never drive your car6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends7. Don't smoke or drink8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashion9. Don't wear your clothes10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. --- P PM (Polymositis) 12/98, UIP 8/00, o2 24/7 8/04, PH 3/06, ILL yo 59 Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 oh my gosh , P. were you at our house??? lol.. this was priceless!!! thank you for giving us a smile first thing this morning!! jon ipf 5-06 and teri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 , After I read your last one I stopped and let my " girls " out of bed and gave them their breakfast. (their pictures are posted in my album) Anyway, I'm back and laughing again after reading this. These certainly apply to my home - well I guess it really is their home! Smiles, Kathie WA NSIP 96, PH 03, Bronchiectasis 05, etc > > To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height. > Dear Dogs and Cats, > The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The > other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw > print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it > becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing > in the slightest. > > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. > Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help > because I fall faster than you can run. > > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry > about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to > ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball > when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each > other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that > sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other > end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. > > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bath room. If > by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it > is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get > your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit > through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the > bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. > > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's > butt. I cannot stress this enough! > > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on > our front door: > To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets > 1. They live here. You don't. > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the > furniture. (That's why they call it " fur " niture.) > 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. > 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter > who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. > Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: > 1. Eat less > 2. Don't ask for money > 3 Are easier to train > 4. Usually come when called > 5. Never drive your car > 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends > 7. Don't smoke or drink > 8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashion > 9. Don't wear your clothes > 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and > 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. > > --- > > > P PM (Polymositis) 12/98, UIP 8/00, o2 24/7 8/04, PH 3/06, ILL yo 59 > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Whahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Now I just need to teach the dog to read Especially like the bit about selling the children Love Ze xxx>> To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.> Dear Dogs and Cats,> The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The> other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw> print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it> becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing> in the slightest.> > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.> Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help> because I fall faster than you can run.> > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry> about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to> ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball> when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each> other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that> sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other> end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.> > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bath room. If> by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it> is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get> your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit> through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the> bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.> > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's> butt. I cannot stress this enough!> > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on> our front door:> To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets> 1. They live here. You don't.> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the> furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter> who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.> Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:> 1. Eat less> 2. Don't ask for money> 3 Are easier to train> 4. Usually come when called> 5. Never drive your car> 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends> 7. Don't smoke or drink> 8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashion> 9. Don't wear your clothes> 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and> 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.> > --- > > > P PM (Polymositis) 12/98, UIP 8/00, o2 24/7 8/04, PH 3/06, ILL yo 59> > ---------------------------------> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Oh, they can read. They're just not about to let you know they can. > > > > To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height. > > Dear Dogs and Cats, > > The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The > > other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw > > print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it > > becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing > > in the slightest. > > > > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. > > Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help > > because I fall faster than you can run. > > > > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry > > about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to > > ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball > > when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each > > other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that > > sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other > > end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. > > > > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bath room. If > > by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it > > is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get > > your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit > > through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the > > bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. > > > > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's > > butt. I cannot stress this enough! > > > > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on > > our front door: > > To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets > > 1. They live here. You don't. > > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the > > furniture. (That's why they call it " fur " niture.) > > 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. > > 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter > > who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. > > Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: > > 1. Eat less > > 2. Don't ask for money > > 3 Are easier to train > > 4. Usually come when called > > 5. Never drive your car > > 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends > > 7. Don't smoke or drink > > 8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashion > > 9. Don't wear your clothes > > 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and > > 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. > > > > --- > > > > > > P PM (Polymositis) 12/98, UIP 8/00, o2 24/7 8/04, PH 3/06, ILL yo > 59 > > > > --------------------------------- > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 We are talking about a dog that can fall over her own feet! She doesn't appear blessed with intelligence which means she's either not blessed with intelligence or she has enough to make sure that us humans don't find out about it! > > >> > > To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.> > > Dear Dogs and Cats,> > > The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. > The> > > other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a > paw> > > print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim > for it> > > becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically > pleasing> > > in the slightest.> > >> > > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.> > > Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't > help> > > because I fall faster than you can run.> > >> > > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very > sorry> > > about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to> > > ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball> > > when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to > each> > > other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know > that> > > sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the > other> > > end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.> > >> > > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bath room. > If> > > by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, > it> > > is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get> > > your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit> > > through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the> > > bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.> > >> > > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's> > > butt. I cannot stress this enough!> > >> > > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message > on> > > our front door:> > > To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets> > > 1. They live here. You don't.> > > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the> > > furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)> > > 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.> > > 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted > son/daughter> > > who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.> > > Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:> > > 1. Eat less> > > 2. Don't ask for money> > > 3 Are easier to train> > > 4. Usually come when called> > > 5. Never drive your car> > > 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends> > > 7. Don't smoke or drink> > > 8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashion> > > 9. Don't wear your clothes> > > 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and> > > 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.> > >> > > ---> > >> > >> > > P PM (Polymositis) 12/98, UIP 8/00, o2 24/7 8/04, PH 3/06, > ILL yo> > 59> > >> > > ---------------------------------> > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> > >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Or is the falling over her own feet a trick? Or maybe just a bit clumsy but quite intelligent. What if you knew how smart your dog really was and they might have to get a job or something? Oh, I think we underestimate dogs and cats. Its us hoomans who they are laughing at. We work all day then walk and feed and clean after them and pet them affectionally after they've laid around or played all day. And you're going to tell me they aren't smarter than us? > > > > > > > > To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height. > > > > Dear Dogs and Cats, > > > > The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. > > The > > > > other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a > > paw > > > > print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim > > for it > > > > becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically > > pleasing > > > > in the slightest. > > > > > > > > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. > > > > Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't > > help > > > > because I fall faster than you can run. > > > > > > > > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very > > sorry > > > > about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to > > > > ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball > > > > when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to > > each > > > > other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know > > that > > > > sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the > > other > > > > end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. > > > > > > > > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bath room. > > If > > > > by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, > > it > > > > is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get > > > > your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit > > > > through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the > > > > bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. > > > > > > > > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's > > > > butt. I cannot stress this enough! > > > > > > > > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message > > on > > > > our front door: > > > > To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets > > > > 1. They live here. You don't. > > > > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the > > > > furniture. (That's why they call it " fur " niture.) > > > > 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. > > > > 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted > > son/daughter > > > > who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. > > > > Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: > > > > 1. Eat less > > > > 2. Don't ask for money > > > > 3 Are easier to train > > > > 4. Usually come when called > > > > 5. Never drive your car > > > > 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends > > > > 7. Don't smoke or drink > > > > 8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashion > > > > 9. Don't wear your clothes > > > > 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and > > > > 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. > > > > > > > > --- > > > > > > > > > > > > P PM (Polymositis) 12/98, UIP 8/00, o2 24/7 8/04, PH 3/06, > > ILL yo > > > 59 > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 , OMG! I am still laughing!!! Thank you for that!!! This is OUR house to a " T " . I have 5 dogs, who all sleep with me, and I have been without my king bed for many months now. I'll be getting it back this month and will delight in finally being able to stretch without kicking a chihuahua in the snoot! Love, love, love this!!! Hugs! Babs in Texas > > To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height. > Dear Dogs and Cats, > The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The > other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw > print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it > becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing > in the slightest. > > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. > Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help > because I fall faster than you can run. > > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry > about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to > ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball > when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each > other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that > sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other > end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. > > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bath room. If > by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it > is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get > your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit > through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the > bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. > > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's > butt. I cannot stress this enough! > > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on > our front door: > To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets > 1. They live here. You don't. > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the > furniture. (That's why they call it " fur " niture.) > 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. > 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter > who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. > Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: > 1. Eat less > 2. Don't ask for money > 3 Are easier to train > 4. Usually come when called > 5. Never drive your car > 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends > 7. Don't smoke or drink > 8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashion > 9. Don't wear your clothes > 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and > 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. > > --- > > > P PM (Polymositis) 12/98, UIP 8/00, o2 24/7 8/04, PH 3/06, ILL yo 59 > > --------------------------------- > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2008 Report Share Posted February 12, 2008 john loved the poem i have two cats may i also ad to this they own us not the other way around. diana nsip raynauds 2002Kathie wrote: , After I read your last one I stopped and let my "girls" out of bed and gave them their breakfast. (their pictures are posted in my album) Anyway, I'm back and laughing again after reading this. These certainly apply to my home - well I guess it really is their home!Smiles,Kathie WA NSIP 96, PH 03, Bronchiectasis 05, etc>> To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.> Dear Dogs and Cats,> The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The> other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw> print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it> becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing> in the slightest.> > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.> Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help> because I fall faster than you can run.> > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry> about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to> ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball> when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each> other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that> sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other> end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.> > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bath room. If> by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it> is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get> your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit> through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the> bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.> > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's> butt. I cannot stress this enough!> > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on> our front door:> To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets> 1. They live here. You don't.> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the> furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter> who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.> Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:> 1. Eat less> 2. Don't ask for money> 3 Are easier to train> 4. Usually come when called> 5. Never drive your car> 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends> 7. Don't smoke or drink> 8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashion> 9. Don't wear your clothes> 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and> 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.> > --- > > > P PM (Polymositis) 12/98, UIP 8/00, o2 24/7 8/04, PH 3/06, ILL yo 59> > ---------------------------------> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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