Guest guest Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 > Thank you all for your replies. I have tried to tell > him it will take time but he just can't seem to get past the > fact that he has to wear 'diapers'. do you have any > recomendations for products that work better than others or > that are less bulky to wear. > a a, I had radiation rather than surgery, which has a different set of side effects, so I never experienced incontinence. I can't give any advice on the best products or techniques for dealing with it. However I do have some other thoughts about it that might help. Most men who experience impotence and/or incontinence are terribly upset by it. Many of them imagine themselves to be diminished as men. Their self-image and self-confidence suffer. They imagine that everyone else in the world doesn't have these problems and they have become different, isolated, ununderstood outsiders. Sometimes we can overcome the physical problems and regain continence and potency. Sometimes we can't. Certainly we should try. But if we can't, I think we can still adapt and find that our lives are really just fine in spite of the problems. Some of the guys I know who are least bothered by incontinence are guys who make no secret of it. Some of them make jokes about it. They allow their friends to laugh about it and they laugh right alongside them. They treat the fact that they have to wear pads and change them as minor facts of life, not all that different from wearing eye glasses or knee braces, or being bald (something that bothers the hell of some men and means nothing whatsoever to others.) The truth is that everybody has problems. Everybody has ways in which they feel themselves to be different from other people. We don't see all of them, but they're there. Personally, I think I'd rather be incontinent than be obese, or have trouble walking, or be unable to see or hear, or have migraine headaches, or even have a persistent, incurable toothache. And as for impotence, it's surprising what a good sex life one can have and be completely impotent. That's one that I know about! We have to play the cards that we're dealt, but we don't have to get depressed and leave the game. Best of luck. Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 Thanks Alan I love your reply and read it to my husband. as we have hope that this will improve over time and there are worse things in the world to deal with i agree. I have retinitis pigmentosa which is a progressive eye condition and i am slowly going blind. if all I had to worry about was his problem i would be happy. of course even though i want to yell this at him at times i don't. anyway just wanted to say thanksa To: ProstateCancerSupport Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 2:13 PM Subject: Re: Re: badder leakage > Thank you all for your replies. I have tried to tell> him it will take time but he just can't seem to get past the> fact that he has to wear 'diapers'. do you have any> recomendations for products that work better than others or> that are less bulky to wear.> aa,I had radiation rather than surgery, which has a different set ofside effects, so I never experienced incontinence. I can't giveany advice on the best products or techniques for dealing withit.However I do have some other thoughts about it that might help.Most men who experience impotence and/or incontinence areterribly upset by it. Many of them imagine themselves to bediminished as men. Their self-image and self-confidence suffer.They imagine that everyone else in the world doesn't have theseproblems and they have become different, isolated, ununderstoodoutsiders.Sometimes we can overcome the physical problems and regaincontinence and potency. Sometimes we can't. Certainly we shouldtry. But if we can't, I think we can still adapt and find thatour lives are really just fine in spite of the problems.Some of the guys I know who are least bothered by incontinenceare guys who make no secret of it. Some of them make jokes aboutit. They allow their friends to laugh about it and they laughright alongside them. They treat the fact that they have to wearpads and change them as minor facts of life, not all that differentfrom wearing eye glasses or knee braces, or being bald (somethingthat bothers the hell of some men and means nothing whatsoever toothers.)The truth is that everybody has problems. Everybody has ways inwhich they feel themselves to be different from other people. Wedon't see all of them, but they're there. Personally, I thinkI'd rather be incontinent than be obese, or have trouble walking,or be unable to see or hear, or have migraine headaches, or evenhave a persistent, incurable toothache.And as for impotence, it's surprising what a good sex life onecan have and be completely impotent. That's one that I knowabout!We have to play the cards that we're dealt, but we don't have toget depressed and leave the game.Best of luck. Alan------------------------------------There are just two rules for this group 1 No Spam 2 Be kind to othersPlease recognise that Prostate Cancerhas different guises and needs different levels of treatment and in some cases no treatment at all. Some men even with all options offered chose radical options that you would not choose. We only ask that people be informed before choice is made, we cannot and should not tell other members what to do, other than look at other options. Try to delete old material that is no longer applying when clicking replyTry to change the title if the content requires it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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