RE: After Prostate Removal

[Guest guest]

That procedure is normal for a prostatectomy. So is your incontinence. It was about 6 or 7 months for me before I started to stay dry and even then I still had moments. I would have to wear a pad just to watch my son run track because I would squirt every time I cheered him around the track. It has been about 8 months that I consider myself as staying dry (no pads). I went to play racquetball for the first time since surgery (in 2/09) and I was leaking through out the game. Glad I brought an extra pair of shorts. Next time I will bring some pads and work on refining my swing so I do a Kegel first. Don't let the side effects get you down. You will get better over time and if not there are things your Uro can do to help. Also remember that even though you know most of the other people that you meet won't know and won't see you as anything different. FYI my racquetball partner was a good friend and knew about everything I had gone through and confided he didn't know I was having problems until I mentioned it. We did have a laugh over it and both agree that this is a hell of a disease to have to go through. BTW the Ed takes longer to heal. Take your time with it and talk with your Uro he should have you on a daily dose of Viagra or cialias to help things heal. You think pads were bad just wait until you find out about the protocols for getting your ED fixed. The cancer messed me up pretty good so nerve sparing was not an option for me. After trying all of the options I got an implant installed last month. I now get erections that work but I also miss how it had a mind of its own at times too. You are on a journey my friend, you may as well enjoy the ride. Sent from my iPhone

Sept.9 2011 my prostate was removed (Davinchi)and my urologist said he stitched the remaining portion of my urithra to my bladder, and I suppose that is why my penis seems shorter and my bladder seems full with much less fluid. Is this normal? Does anyone know when I will be able to talk a walk without leaking and if I will ever experience an erection again?

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I don't know what to call you..you never left a name. My husband didn't go with surgery,,even though we were going to but then we learned about the different forms of treatment..After learning about the side effects with surgery he chose radiation-IMRT treatments.

His ED is a problem,,he's taking Viagra but it doesn't do much,,he gets very frustrated,,,but our doctor told us about the shrinkage, erections problems and that he would never have the same climaxing again. They told us before the treatment so we knew a little of what to expect,,...he tells me it is just different,,I'm very surprised that the doctor didn't tell you these things. I hope all goes well and I'm sure it will...it just takes time. Our friend had the same surgery and it took him months before the leaking stopped,,,but it does ,,so think about that,,,You are on this journey and it has it's many ups, downs and stresses that go along with it. Just give yourself time,,,keep thinking this is just tempory and think positive,,don't get down,,that doesn't help,,be thankful that the cancer is gone..Hang in there. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as I do for everyone in this group.

Best Wishes,

Sheila

Sheila

To: ProstateCancerSupport Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 5:02:02 AMSubject: Re: After Prostate Removal

That procedure is normal for a prostatectomy. So is your incontinence. It was about 6 or 7 months for me before I started to stay dry and even then I still had moments. I would have to wear a pad just to watch my son run track because I would squirt every time I cheered him around the track. It has been about 8 months that I consider myself as staying dry (no pads). I went to play racquetball for the first time since surgery (in 2/09) and I was leaking through out the game. Glad I brought an extra pair of shorts. Next time I will bring some pads and work on refining my swing so I do a Kegel first.

Don't let the side effects get you down. You will get better over time and if not there are things your Uro can do to help. Also remember that even though you know most of the other people that you meet won't know and won't see you as anything different.

FYI my racquetball partner was a good friend and knew about everything I had gone through and confided he didn't know I was having problems until I mentioned it. We did have a laugh over it and both agree that this is a hell of a disease to have to go through.

BTW the Ed takes longer to heal. Take your time with it and talk with your Uro he should have you on a daily dose of Viagra or cialias to help things heal. You think pads were bad just wait until you find out about the protocols for getting your ED fixed. The cancer messed me up pretty good so nerve sparing was not an option for me. After trying all of the options I got an implant installed last month. I now get erections that work but I also miss how it had a mind of its own at times too.

You are on a journey my friend, you may as well enjoy the ride. Sent from my iPhone

Sept.9 2011 my prostate was removed (Davinchi)and my urologist said he stitched the remaining portion of my urithra to my bladder, and I suppose that is why my penis seems shorter and my bladder seems full with much less fluid. Is this normal? Does anyone know when I will be able to talk a walk without leaking and if I will ever experience an erection again?

[Guest guest]

KH, hang in there. The incontinence will most likely pass in the next few months, especially if you do your kegel exercises. I did up to 100 a day before and after the surgery and I was completely dry four months after the surgery. Regarding ED, that's still a work in progress. I'm taking Viagra and, while I don't get a full erection, I can see progress. Some of the guys on this site have had good success with Viagra, and you might also. Meanwhile, I use tri-mix injections and they do the trick, so if Viagra doesn't do its healing job I will rely on tri-mix. In fact, I'm tempted to forget Viagra because it's so expensive compared with tri-mix -- $590 for 3 month supply versus $75 for tri-mix. Don't be put off by the concept of injecting into the penis --

it's no worse than injections elsewhere and the results can be gratifying for you and your partner when you get the dosage right. Have your uro show you how and where to inject. Instructions also come with the first doses, and you can find them online. My surgery was Jan. 28, 2009.

Mike

To: ProstateCancerSupport Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012 10:37 PMSubject: After Prostate RemovalSept.9 2011 my prostate was removed (Davinchi)and my urologist said he stitched the remaining portion of my urithra to my bladder, and I suppose that is why my penis seems shorter and my bladder seems full with much less fluid. Is this normal?

Does anyone know when I will be able to talk a walk without leaking and if I will ever experience an erection again?------------------------------------There are just two rules for this group 1 No Spam 2 Be kind to othersPlease recognise that Prostate Cancerhas different guises and needs different levels of treatment and in some cases no treatment at all. Some men even with all options offered chose radical options that you would not choose. We only ask that people be informed before choice is made, we cannot and should not tell other members what to do, other than look at other options. Try to delete old material that is no longer applying when clicking replyTry to change the title if the content requires it

[Guest guest]

> Sept.9 2011 my prostate was removed

> (Davinchi)and my urologist said he stitched the remaining

> portion of my urithra to my bladder, and I suppose that is

> why my penis seems shorter and my bladder seems full with

> much less fluid. Is this normal? Does anyone know when I

> will be able to talk a walk without leaking and if I will

> ever experience an erection again?

I'd like to add a few words to the good advice and information

that others have given.

First of all, it is my understanding that most men experience

some improvement in continence and potency during a period of up

to about two years after surgery. Some men don't. S**t happens

with this disease and many men never recover much function. Even

for those that do experience improvement it is rare to return to

a state of potency that is exactly like what it was before

surgery. Most men are less potent than they were. They're also

older than they were and advancing age takes its own toll on

potency. We'll never be young men again, whether or not we have

prostate surgery.

But there are many sides to this story. Some are negative and

some are more positive. I've given you the negative news. Here

is the news on the other side.

First of all, if you do not recover as much continence and

potency as you want, there are medical aids that can help a lot.

A good urologist can help with both continence and potency. Some

men have used Viagra and the similar drugs successfully, but if

not, most find that the injections work very well. Similarly,

there are a hierarchy of interventions that can be used to try to

recover continence, one or more of which is likely to work.

But secondly, there are surprisingly good ways to cope.

Some men find that with the right underwear and pads and other

devices, it's possible to handle incontinence successfully enough

that they can go anywhere, play sports, and do other things

without embarrassing accidents. They can do anything anyone else

can do.

Also, I am convinced that it's possible to have sex without an

erection that is 100% satisfying to both a man and a woman. If

you can't imagine how that might be done, then there is a whole

world of sexuality that you have not explored yet. If you

explore it, it's there for the taking. This is something that

you can do without doctors, without pills, without injections,

and without an erection. And I can promise you that you can have

a huge amount of fun experimenting and learning how. I encourage

you to be inventive and treat your problem, not as a disability,

but as an opportunity to learn and enjoy new things.

Whether or not we get cancer or cancer treatment, life changes as

we grow older. I think it's important to adapt, to make the most

of what we have, to keep on learning new things and finding new

ways to live and find satisfaction.

I'd love to be 25 again. I daydream about it sometimes. But I'm

not going to get depressed about being 65 or being impotent. I'm

going to do my best to play the cards I've been dealt and

continue to enjoy the game. So far, I think I'm succeeding.

Alan

[Guest guest]

Alan, you are so right, and many of us need to be reminded of what you say periodically. I sometimes find myself yearning for a natural, spontaneous erection. We should all remember what Wordsworth wrote:

"Though nothing can bring back the hour Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower; We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind;"

And Tennyson wrote in Morte d'Arthur (the Death of King Arthur):

"The old order changeth, yielding place to new,

And God fulfills himself in many ways."

Mike

To: ProstateCancerSupport Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 7:16 PMSubject: Re: After Prostate Removal> Sept.9 2011 my prostate was removed> (Davinchi)and my urologist said he

stitched the remaining> portion of my urithra to my bladder, and I suppose that is> why my penis seems shorter and my bladder seems full with> much less fluid. Is this normal? Does anyone know when I> will be able to talk a walk without leaking and if I will> ever experience an erection again?I'd like to add a few words to the good advice and informationthat others have given.First of all, it is my understanding that most men experiencesome improvement in continence and potency during a period of upto about two years after surgery. Some men don't. S**t happenswith this disease and many men never recover much function. Evenfor those that do experience improvement it is rare to return toa state of potency that is exactly like what it was beforesurgery. Most men are less potent than they were. They're alsoolder than they were and advancing age

takes its own toll onpotency. We'll never be young men again, whether or not we haveprostate surgery.But there are many sides to this story. Some are negative andsome are more positive. I've given you the negative news. Hereis the news on the other side.First of all, if you do not recover as much continence andpotency as you want, there are medical aids that can help a lot.A good urologist can help with both continence and potency. Somemen have used Viagra and the similar drugs successfully, but ifnot, most find that the injections work very well. Similarly,there are a hierarchy of interventions that can be used to try torecover continence, one or more of which is likely to work.But secondly, there are surprisingly good ways to cope.Some men find that with the right underwear and pads and otherdevices, it's possible to handle incontinence

successfully enoughthat they can go anywhere, play sports, and do other thingswithout embarrassing accidents. They can do anything anyone elsecan do.Also, I am convinced that it's possible to have sex without anerection that is 100% satisfying to both a man and a woman. Ifyou can't imagine how that might be done, then there is a wholeworld of sexuality that you have not explored yet. If youexplore it, it's there for the taking. This is something thatyou can do without doctors, without pills, without injections,and without an erection. And I can promise you that you can havea huge amount of fun experimenting and learning how. I encourageyou to be inventive and treat your problem, not as a disability,but as an opportunity to learn and enjoy new things.Whether or not we get cancer or cancer treatment, life changes aswe grow older. I think it's

important to adapt, to make the mostof what we have, to keep on learning new things and finding newways to live and find satisfaction.I'd love to be 25 again. I daydream about it sometimes. But I'mnot going to get depressed about being 65 or being impotent. I'mgoing to do my best to play the cards I've been dealt andcontinue to enjoy the game. So far, I think I'm succeeding. Alan------------------------------------There are just two rules for this group 1 No Spam 2 Be kind to othersPlease recognise that Prostate Cancerhas different guises and needs different levels of treatment and in some cases no treatment at all. Some men even with all options offered chose radical options that you would not choose. We only ask that people be informed before choice is made, we cannot and should not tell other members what to do, other than look at other

options. Try to delete old material that is no longer applying when clicking replyTry to change the title if the content requires it

[Guest guest]

>

> " Though nothing can bring back the hour

> Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;

> We will grieve not, rather find

> Strength in what remains behind; "

>

> And Tennyson wrote in Morte d'Arthur (the Death of King Arthur):

>

> " The old order changeth, yielding place to new,

> And God fulfills himself in many ways. "

....

I like those Mike. Here's another one, this from Tennyson's

" Ulysses " . I first heard it quoted by Rumpole on one of the old

" Rumpole of the " BBC TV shows.

" Though much is taken, much abides; and though

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. "

I work in a job as a computer programmer. I'm the oldest guy in

the shop. Many of the people I work with are younger than my

children.

One of the things I like about participating in this group is

that it keeps me in contact with people who are my own age,

facing life situations and problems similar to mine. I don't

have to imagine that everyone I meet is younger than I am and

looks at me like a flea-bitten old goat.

I think that one of the things we give to each other is

knowledge, but an equally important thing is support and

encouragement.

All things considered, I guess we do pretty well for a bunch of

old goats

Alan

[Guest guest]

I like that one Alan. I never studied Tennyson's Ulysses, but I have read parts of it. Like you I keep active. I'm retired, but I am a snowboard instructor at a local ski area, and if the snow holds up, I'll be snowboarding on my 70th Birthday in March. Right now though, it's so warm that looks unlikely as the snow is melting quickly.

Mike

To: ProstateCancerSupport Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 11:06 PMSubject: Re: After Prostate Removal> > "Though nothing can bring back the hour> Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;> We will grieve not, rather find> Strength in what remains behind;"> > And Tennyson wrote in Morte d'Arthur (the Death of King Arthur):> > "The old order changeth, yielding place to new,> And God fulfills himself in many ways."... I like those Mike. Here's another one, this from Tennyson's"Ulysses". I first heard it quoted by Rumpole on one of the old"Rumpole of the " BBC TV shows. "Though much is taken, much abides; and though We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by

time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."I work in a job as a computer programmer. I'm the oldest guy inthe shop. Many of the people I work with are younger than mychildren.One of the things I like about participating in this group isthat it keeps me in contact with people who are my own age,facing life situations and problems similar to mine. I don'thave to imagine that everyone I meet is younger than I am andlooks at me like a flea-bitten old goat.I think that one of the things we give to each other isknowledge, but an equally important thing is support andencouragement.All things considered, I guess we do pretty well for a bunch ofold goats Alan------------------------------------There are just two rules for this group 1 No Spam 2 Be kind to

othersPlease recognise that Prostate Cancerhas different guises and needs different levels of treatment and in some cases no treatment at all. Some men even with all options offered chose radical options that you would not choose. We only ask that people be informed before choice is made, we cannot and should not tell other members what to do, other than look at other options. Try to delete old material that is no longer applying when clicking replyTry to change the title if the content requires it

[Guest guest]

IhelberYours is the first email that I have seen that has discussed implants. I had DaVinc prostate surgery last November and I am doing fine as far as continence is concerned. However, I have been thinking about implants but I had heard that recovery is very painful. I also wonder how long would I be out of work. My job is sedentary and the only heavy lifting is my computer bag. I also wonder how satisfied you are with the implant. I do not expect to achieve the same girth that I had when I was 18 but is it enough to make your loved one happy?Notoldyet61

[Guest guest]

<br><br> & gt; Yours is the first email that I have seen that has

discussed<br> & gt; implants. I had DaVinc prostate surgery last November and I

am<br> & gt; doing fine as far as continence is concerned. However, I have<br> & gt;

been thinking about implants but I had heard that recovery is<br> & gt; very

painful. I also wonder how long would I be out of work. My<br> & gt; job is

sedentary and the only heavy lifting is my computer bag. <br> & gt; <br> & gt; I

also wonder how satisfied you are with the implant. I do not<br> & gt; expect to

achieve the same girth that I had when I was 18 but<br> & gt; is it enough to make

your loved one happy?<br><br>Harry,<br><br>There is a Yahoo group named

" Intimacy_after_PC " that you may<br>find interesting. & nbsp; There are a number

of men there who have<br>gotten implants and who could answer questions about

them.<br><br>I haven't had one myself and wouldn't get

one. & nbsp; The idea of<br>having someone cut open my penis and stuff a large

object in<br>there is more than I can handle. & nbsp; But I do know that at

least<br>some of the men who have had it done are pleased with

the<br>results.<br><br>Although I haven't tried it and would be too squeamish to

do so,<br>here are some things to think about regarding the process. & nbsp;

These<br>are impressions from a guy who has no personal experience, so<br>take

them with a grain of salt. & nbsp; Larry or others who have<br>actually tried it

may disagree and be able to provide you with<br>more accurate

information.<br><br>1. As I understand it, it will give you a satisfactory

erection,<br>any time you want one, for as long as you like.<br><br>2. It's not

the same as being young again. & nbsp; I guy with a good<br>artificial leg can

walk on it, but it's not the same as the leg<br>he once had. & nbsp; There will be

differences.<br><br>3. If you don't like the implant, I'm not

sure what happens next.<br>Ask the doctor. & nbsp; I think that the implant can

be removed, but I'm<br>not sure that you'll be the same as you were

before.<br><br>4. There are other options for getting erections. & nbsp; You

probably<br>want to exhaust the less invasive options first before

trying<br>this. & nbsp; If you haven't exhausted all of the less invasive

options<br>(e.g. injections and vacuum pump) you may want to try them

first.<br>They're not as risky.<br><br>5. There are other options for sex

without erections at all.<br>Oral and manual sex can be entirely satisfactory

for both<br>partners - though this is partly a matter of taste

(sorry,<br>couldn't help myself.)<br><br>6. If you do decide to go ahead with

it, consult your wife every<br>step of the way. & nbsp; I believe that most women,

as they get older,<br>get smaller and dryer. & nbsp; The length or girth that they

may have<br>liked as a young woman might actually be painful as they

get<br>older. & nbsp; Bigger isn't always better. & nbsp; In any case, different

women<br>are different and men can make significant mistakes if they<br>assume a

woman likes something without actually asking her. & nbsp; Some<br>women will do

things that they know their man wants and not<br>complain, but that doesn't mean

that it's really their<br>preference.<br><br>7. Get second opinions. & nbsp; The

procedure isn't trivial. & nbsp; You<br>probably want to interview more than one

surgeon about it and get<br>someone that you think you can trust.<br><br>Best of

luck.<br><br> & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; Alan<br><br>

[Guest guest]

I am not sure why your email got messed but I waded through all of the HTML to read your message and here are a couple of answers for you: Item #2 you are correct, you do get a satisfactory erection and it works, it is not the same but is still satisfactory. You still have all of the options as before but you also have the erect options now too. Item #3 this one is a BIGGIE! Everyone should be aware it is a one way street. Once the implant goes in the damage is done. If a miracle drug is discovered later on it won’t work for you. The implant can be removed, and sometimes do, but they can’t put spongy stuff back in (sorry I can’t remember the medical terms at the moment). Once the implant is out, you have cooked spaghetti. Item #4 Yes, there are other options to explore. Before your medical insurance will pay for the implant you have to explore these other options. Some may and some may not work and they all bring along some side effects or consequences. Your role will be to find the options that you are willing to live with. I did them all with varying amounts of success. One of the things I like about the implant is anytime, anywhere, no extra $$, or insurance regulating the number of times per month you can have sex. Item #5 and 6 YMMV Item #7 I agree get a great surgeon to do the job. One other comment, they don’t slice open the penis to install the implant. They go through the scrotum or “taint” and tunnel in. Outside everything looks normal. It is not a large object but two small balloons that get big when pumped up J From: ProstateCancerSupport [mailto:ProstateCancerSupport ] On Behalf Of Alan MeyerSent: Saturday, February 04, 2012 2:22 PMTo: ProstateCancerSupport Subject: Re: After Prostate Removal <br><br> & gt; Yours is the first email that I have seen that has discussed<br> & gt; implants. I had DaVinc prostate surgery last November and I am<br> & gt; doing fine as far as continence is concerned. However, I have<br> & gt; been thinking about implants but I had heard that recovery is<br> & gt; very painful. I also wonder how long would I be out of work. My<br> & gt; job is sedentary and the only heavy lifting is my computer bag. <br> & gt; <br> & gt; I also wonder how satisfied you are with the implant. I do not<br> & gt; expect to achieve the same girth that I had when I was 18 but<br> & gt; is it enough to make your loved one happy?<br><br>Harry,<br><br>There is a Yahoo group named " Intimacy_after_PC " that you may<br>find interesting. & nbsp; There are a number of men there who have<br>gotten implants and who could answer questions about them.<br><br>I haven't had one myself and wouldn't getone. & nbsp; The idea of<br>having someone cut open my penis and stuff a large object in<br>there is more than I can handle. & nbsp; But I do know that at least<br>some of the men who have had it done are pleased with the<br>results.<br><br>Although I haven't tried it and would be too squeamish to do so,<br>here are some things to think about regarding the process. & nbsp; These<br>are impressions from a guy who has no personal experience, so<br>take them with a grain of salt. & nbsp; Larry or others who have<br>actually tried it may disagree and be able to provide you with<br>more accurate information.<br><br>1. As I understand it, it will give you a satisfactory erection,<br>any time you want one, for as long as you like.<br><br>2. It's not the same as being young again. & nbsp; I guy with a good<br>artificial leg can walk on it, but it's not the same as the leg<br>he once had. & nbsp; There will be differences.<br><br>3. If you don't like the implant, I'm notsure what happens next.<br>Ask the doctor. & nbsp; I think that the implant can be removed, but I'm<br>not sure that you'll be the same as you were before.<br><br>4. There are other options for getting erections. & nbsp; You probably<br>want to exhaust the less invasive options first before trying<br>this. & nbsp; If you haven't exhausted all of the less invasive options<br>(e.g. injections and vacuum pump) you may want to try them first.<br>They're not as risky.<br><br>5. There are other options for sex without erections at all.<br>Oral and manual sex can be entirely satisfactory for both<br>partners - though this is partly a matter of taste (sorry,<br>couldn't help myself.)<br><br>6. If you do decide to go ahead with it, consult your wife every<br>step of the way. & nbsp; I believe that most women, as they get older,<br>get smaller and dryer. & nbsp; The length or girth that they may have<br>liked as a young woman might actually be painful as theyget<br>older. & nbsp; Bigger isn't always better. & nbsp; In any case, different women<br>are different and men can make significant mistakes if they<br>assume a woman likes something without actually asking her. & nbsp; Some<br>women will do things that they know their man wants and not<br>complain, but that doesn't mean that it's really their<br>preference.<br><br>7. Get second opinions. & nbsp; The procedure isn't trivial. & nbsp; You<br>probably want to interview more than one surgeon about it and get<br>someone that you think you can trust.<br><br>Best of luck.<br><br> & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; Alan<br><br>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Larry for answering the questions.

I apologize for the garbled message. Something went wrong in the

Yahoo mail client. I was trying to post plain text but it put in

HTML markup, then marked the whole thing as plain text so that

the markup became visible - the worst of both worlds.

I've reposted my original posting at the bottom, then Larry's

response above that so, hopefully, people will be able to

understand what I wrote and what Larry was responding to.

Alan

I am not sure why your email got messed but I waded through all

of the HTML to read your message and here are a couple of answers

for you:

Item #2 you are correct, you do get a satisfactory erection and

it works, it is not the same but is still satisfactory. You

still have all of the options as before but you also have the

erect options now too.

Item #3 this one is a BIGGIE! Everyone should be aware it is a

one way street. Once the implant goes in the damage is done. If

a miracle drug is discovered later on it won’t work for you. The

implant can be removed, and sometimes do, but they can’t put

spongy stuff back in (sorry I can’t remember the medical terms at

the moment). Once the implant is out, you have cooked spaghetti.

Item #4 Yes, there are other options to explore. Before your

medical insurance will pay for the implant you have to explore

these other options. Some may and some may not work and they all

bring along some side effects or consequences. Your role will be

to find the options that you are willing to live with. I did

them all with varying amounts of success. One of the things I

like about the implant is anytime, anywhere, no extra $$, or

insurance regulating the number of times per month you can have

sex.

Item #5 and 6 YMMV

Item #7 I agree get a great surgeon to do the job.

One other comment, they don’t slice open the penis to install the

implant. They go through the scrotum or “taint†and tunnel in.

Outside everything looks normal. It is not a large object but two

small balloons that get big when pumped up J

------------------ De-garbled message from Alan -------------------

From: ProstateCancerSupport

[mailto:ProstateCancerSupport ] On Behalf Of Alan Meyer

Sent: Saturday, February 04, 2012 2:22 PM

There is a Yahoo group named " Intimacy_after_PC " that you may

find interesting. There are a number of men there who have

gotten implants and who could answer questions about them.

I haven't had one myself and wouldn't get one. The idea of

having someone cut open my penis and stuff a large object in

there is more than I can handle. But I do know that at least

some of the men who have had it done are pleased with the

results.

Although I haven't tried it and would be too squeamish to do so,

here are some things to think about regarding the process. These

are impressions from a guy who has no personal experience, so

take them with a grain of salt. Larry or others who have

actually tried it may disagree and be able to provide you with

more accurate information.

1. As I understand it, it will give you a satisfactory erection,

any time you want one, for as long as you like.

2. It's not the same as being young again. I guy with a good

artificial leg can walk on it, but it's not the same as the leg

he once had. There will be differences.

3. If you don't like the implant, I'm not sure what happens next.

Ask the doctor. I think that the implant can be removed, but I'm

not sure that you'll be the same as you were before.

4. There are other options for getting erections. You probably

want to exhaust the less invasive options first before trying

this. If you haven't exhausted all of the less invasive options

(e.g. injections and vacuum pump) you may want to try them first.

They're not as risky.

5. There are other options for sex without erections at all.

Oral and manual sex can be entirely satisfactory for both

partners - though this is partly a matter of taste (sorry,

couldn't help myself.)

6. If you do decide to go ahead with it, consult your wife every

step of the way. I believe that most women, as they get older,

get smaller and dryer. The length or girth that they may have

liked as a young woman might actually be painful as they get

older. Bigger isn't always better. In any case, different women

are different and men can make significant mistakes if they

assume a woman likes something without actually asking her. Some

women will do things that they know their man wants and not

complain, but that doesn't mean that it's really their

preference.

7. Get second opinions. The procedure isn't trivial. You

probably want to interview more than one surgeon about it and get

someone that you think you can trust.

Best of luck.

Alan