: True Self / False Self

[Guest guest]

 

I only have a small amount of this stuff on my computer, most of it is written

in journals, but i will dig out what i can and try to put it on the board in

some kind of order

 

The book I mentioned, Healing The Child Within, includes a section about

identifying the true self and the false self. This is a list I wrote up for my

sponsor at alanon, to show her how my addiction to carbs and junk food

influences my inner psychi

 

When I am in ketosis, and am my true self......................................

 

I feel close to God, I have no doubt I am a child of God

My mood is normal, I feel balanced

I am optimistic, about my future and my childrens future 

I am focused and I am content with what I am doing

I am compassionate and kind, happy to give my time and I do not usually get

easily tired doing so 

I am motivated and have purpose for my life

I am calm, serene, peaceful, my inner self has harmony

I enjoy being out and about meeting strangers and generally chatting to anybody 

I am able to nurture myself with compassion and kindness

I can walk a fair distance without getting tired

I am empathic and sensitive and have genuine respect for people. Not many people

can or will get me down

I am spiritually open, aware and I feel connected and receptive, I feel

spiritual growth in me

I am able to grieve losses spontaneously

I actively seek out people that have an healthy outlook and also places and

things that help me nurture myself spiritually

Work, play, and rest are usually balanced

I can chat in a resectful manner and not get all flustered about what others are

thinking

I feel vibrant around people and being with people makes my day

I stick to my diet and do all the things I need to do relating to it 

I feel close and bonded to my husband, my children, some other family members

and my friends

I can usually judge correctly the extent that I can trust other people

I accept responsibility for myself

I have a realistic outlook about life and my situation

I can deal with most daily chores to some extent

I enjoy music, comedy nature, art etc

I have an attitude if gratitude

I am incredibly healthy, with absolutely no need for medication and usually

vibrantly well

 

When i am out of ketosis and my false self is emerging I begin to float into

this person. It is a strange pull, because although I am wanting to resist it

there is a temptation to go with this. The longer I am out of ketosis and being

this way the more stronger the pull gets. The illness gets bad but i will become

less enclined to put the effort in to get well. This is why even at the

slightest hint that this is setting in, I begin to pull back immediately. Even

with this rule in place it can be hard, but I do it. This is what I am like when

i am not in ketosis and I am eating carbs, even good

carbs........................

 

I have brain fog, cannot focus and get repeatative negative thoughts

I become fearful and constantly anticipate danger

I am incredibly poorly, with pain, IBS PMS fuzzy thinking etc

I have a pessimistic view of the future, I believe rumors of war, illness,

poverty etc

I obsess about the past, making it all very real and relavent and I also cannot

recall long periods of time from the past that really I should be able to recall

easily

I am over cautious and can even become paralized with this

I have negative feelings that I do not know how to deal with ie anger, guilt,

shame

 

I become more likely to take medication

My heart numbs out and I feel like I am becoming disconnected from myself

I start thinking my husband does not love me and that my children are against

me, etc

 

I crave chocolate, and other stuff that I have not craved for years

I become very resentful towards people that have hurt me in the past

I feel disconnected from God, I feel abandoned and have wierd religious

thoughts, I get obsessive trying to work out why I cannot feel Gods presence

I do not make the effort to see my spiritual friends

I become controling, telling folk what to do in an over assertive manner

I go around apologising and wanting folk to care more about me than really they

should. I feel like I will be OK if they care

I isolate

I worry about money and cannot relax about it

I cannot sleep

I tell myself carbs are not really so bad

I start not wating to be well, saying stuff like, its all a load of nonsense

I sabotage my own accumplishments

I have a lot of self pity

I moan and moan that I cannot get right, how unfair life is and I do believe

that all the negative junk I talk about is true

 

Hope this is helpful

 

Love joanne

I get over responsible about everybody and everything. I cannot easily let go

and let folk just be who they are and do what they do

I trust the wrong people

I deny my feelings even to myself

I bang on and on about my mistakes

I do not always consider how my moods are affecting others

I tend to spend too much time with people that are bringing me down

I am less likely to seek out people and places that will lift my mood

Work, play, and rest are usually out of balance