Goodnight every body.

[Guest guest]

I have been reading notes all day from various folks. Now I am going

to bed and get some sleep. I hope each and everyone of you who is hurting

can get some rest and courage for the new day.

As one who has been through much of what you are now facing, I want

to say this. Keep your chin up and your head high so you can be sure of

the path you are to follow. No one can do it for you, but we can pray for

you to get the strength and wisdom you need, and the rest you need for

each day. Each day is a challenge. Some good and some awful. Learn with

each one. When one hurts along the line we all hurt. You are not

forgotten, though sometimes you may feel alone. Terror and fear in the

night can do strange things to caregivers and patients. Frustration

and confusion makes us all alike.

No one seems to have an answer for what has or is coming.

Everyone gets weary. Everyone gets frightened. Everyone wonders what

comes next.

The companionship and love that comes along these lines can be a God

sent gift. Keep in touch. Someone may have a different way of doing

something or an insight into a different way of thinking and reasoning

out a problem.

I do not have any real answers except through my own experience with

Ralph. We made it through a lot of awful things and he was a fighter all

along the way. I am proud to say, I am sure I did what was best for all

of our family in the care we gave him. That is about all the comfort there

can be when you do not have the answers. You do what is best for you, as

you may not think your doctors know as much as you do. That could be so,

but we taught our doctors as we learned. They were and are all good men

who tried the best they could with a wicked illness that had no meaning

nor an end. I find no fault in any of them. They were as frustrated as

we were.

This may be of little comfort to anyone, but I know the Lord got us

through the past 51 years and He never gave up on us. He has taken Ralph

home to be with Him but I can still depend upon Him as I get my new

life together. Living with no regrets can be a blessing.

Sure I wish it had been different. But it wasn't. The past six months

were awful. But there were good times in there too.

Enjoy each new day. Even though you may have been up all night mopping

or changing beds. I did that too, many nights. Sometimes I felt like laying

down on the floor and screaming. There were times when I felt like running

away but then who would do my job of caring for Ralph? I promised to be

a part of his life for better or for worst. Good times and bad. I

made it, you can too. But the main ingredient is rest. There is a tendency

to do strange things if the mind and heart cannot get rest. Serious mistakes

can be made. Injury can be done. Unretractable words can be said.

Enough of this. I have just been wondering about all of you all day.

Tonight I am putting all of you on the prayer list.

Much love to all from a cool and very wet Texas.

Barb