Re: Trying to cope with depression

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/29/2005 8:15:13 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, susanmer@... writes:

And if I can't,then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled toprotection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days for mysymptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this soundsfair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf. Butafter 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.

I may be way off base (I probably am), but it doesn't sound right either.

I share the feelings of depression too. The fatigue and not being able to do normal activities due to the fatigue, swelling and pain is downright depressing at times. I try to be positive but sometimes the depression just overcomes me. I wish I could be more help. I'm sympathetic and think that something doesn't sound quite right with your job but I don't know.

Abby

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/29/05 8:46:39 PM, getcoffee@... writes:

I share the feelings of depression too. The fatigue and not being able to do normal activities due to the fatigue, swelling and pain is downright depressing at times. I try to be positive but sometimes the depression just overcomes me. I wish I could be more help. I'm sympathetic and think that something doesn't sound quite right with your job but I don't know.

 

I have gotten so depressed that I have researched it and doctor assisted suicide is apparently legal for people who suffer as much as we do (in Switz.) (correct me if I am wrong) . Many times I have considered that alternative.

I try and change my depression to anger, which makes me take action.

I try and find another way to get better or help animals.

Depression is a slow death worse than any pain from RA.

We need to turn to health professionals who have drugs that can help.

I won't give into to depression.

You just must rise to the occasion.....I know it is hard, but better than the alternative,

FIGHT IT!

Hugs,

Pris

How was the one and only 4 time "World Pig Champion" Nellie trained?

"Potbellied Pig Behavior and Training" book

www.valentinesperformingpigs.com

[Guest guest]

,

I unfortunately don't have any advice for you regarding your employment

situation. I've never worked in an office.

About the depression, though -- we all go through this once in a while

(sometimes more often) and I suspect everyone copes differently. The advice

to " put on a happy smile " or " remember how many others are so much worse off

than you " or " think about the blessings in your life " ... well, those are

nice ideas, but not always helpful when your pain is immediate and sharp. I

find chocolate doughnuts to be much happier. Or a trashy romance novel. Or

letting a small warm puppy sleep on the couch next to me when no one's

looking.

Jenni

----- Original Message -----

From: " susanmerr " <susanmer@...>

<Rheumatoid Arthritis >

Sent: Saturday, January 29, 2005 11:13 PM

Subject: Trying to cope with depression

>

>

> Hi folks,

>

> Feeling depressed today. Those of you who also have bouts of

> depression, do you have any specific ways of coping that you might

> like to share?

>

> I'm feeling depressed today because no energy and no sense of

> confidence - I feel like just a shadow of myself. Too much fatigue to

> really get anything accomplished around the house, and I had a rough

> week at work. I had a meeting with my boss, the dean, and a human

> resources specialist about my request for accommodation. It didn't

> really go well.

>

> I asked for a flexible schedule, but they said that my job is so

> important I have to be at work no later than 10 AM. And if I can't,

> then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled to

> protection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days for my

> symptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,

> and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this sounds

> fair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf. But

> after 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.

>

> Any advice would be most welcome.

>

> trying to smile -

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

:

There are a lot of good suggestions here for you. It sounds as though you are a candidate for some kind of anti-depressant. We take so many drugs for our RA that one more to actually help you deal with the disease is not a big deal. I know that many people feel that there is some sort of moral judgement attached to having to take a pill for depression. But depression can be helped by chemicals. Please talk to your doctor if you feel as though your inability to cope is getting out of hand. There is help out there for you. I used to feel the same way about pain medication - that somehow I was being weak if I had to take it. But you know what? There is no shame in taking meds that will help you. Took me a while to figure out that one.

Good luck to you.

gloria

[Guest guest]

A pet is a wonderful thing. I have a cat and his name is Casino.

He keeps me laughing and going. He needs me to survive. In fact,

he is on the computer with me right now :-)...

I work full time for a school district (15 years) Luckily I work in

a wonderful dept. and have an understanding boss. What a difference

that makes.

ADA, if I were you I would start researching on google to find any

sights having to do with American Disability Act. You may find your

answer or direction there.

Take care

Rosie

>

> Hi folks,

>

> Feeling depressed today. Those of you who also have bouts of

> depression, do you have any specific ways of coping that you might

> like to share?

>

> I'm feeling depressed today because no energy and no sense of

> confidence - I feel like just a shadow of myself. Too much

fatigue to

> really get anything accomplished around the house, and I had a

rough

> week at work. I had a meeting with my boss, the dean, and a human

> resources specialist about my request for accommodation. It didn't

> really go well.

>

> I asked for a flexible schedule, but they said that my job is so

> important I have to be at work no later than 10 AM. And if I

can't,

> then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled to

> protection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days

for my

> symptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,

> and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this sounds

> fair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf.

But

> after 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.

>

> Any advice would be most welcome.

>

> trying to smile -

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Abby,

Thanks for your thoughts. I think I'll check with a disability rights

person. Mostly I'm concerned about not being able to use sick days

for dealing with the symptoms.

Thanks again,

On Sat, 29 Jan 2005 23:44:57 EST, getcoffee@... <getcoffee@...> wrote:

>

>

> In a message dated 1/29/2005 8:15:13 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> susanmer@... writes:

> And if I can't,

> then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled to

> protection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days for my

> symptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,

> and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this sounds

> fair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf. But

> after 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.

>

> I may be way off base (I probably am), but it doesn't sound right either.

>

> I share the feelings of depression too. The fatigue and not being able to do

> normal activities due to the fatigue, swelling and pain is downright

> depressing at times. I try to be positive but sometimes the depression just

> overcomes me. I wish I could be more help. I'm sympathetic and think that

> something doesn't sound quite right with your job but I don't know.

>

> Abby

>

> ________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Rosie,

Oh, do I agree with you about pets! I have three cats - Idgie who is

12, and two sisters who are 2 years old: Mungo and Rumpel. They help

me a lot! with everything from smiles to keeping my knees warm at

night!

I'm glad you have a good job environment. I work at a university -

I'm surprised by their " rules. "

Thanks for your kind words,

On Sun, 30 Jan 2005 14:22:16 -0000, Rose Manninger

<rosegarden112@...> wrote:

>

> A pet is a wonderful thing. I have a cat and his name is Casino.

> He keeps me laughing and going. He needs me to survive. In fact,

> he is on the computer with me right now :-)...

>

> I work full time for a school district (15 years) Luckily I work in

> a wonderful dept. and have an understanding boss. What a difference

> that makes.

>

> ADA, if I were you I would start researching on google to find any

> sights having to do with American Disability Act. You may find your

> answer or direction there.

>

> Take care

> Rosie

>

>

>

> >

> > Hi folks,

> >

> > Feeling depressed today. Those of you who also have bouts of

> > depression, do you have any specific ways of coping that you might

> > like to share?

> >

> > I'm feeling depressed today because no energy and no sense of

> > confidence - I feel like just a shadow of myself. Too much

> fatigue to

> > really get anything accomplished around the house, and I had a

> rough

> > week at work. I had a meeting with my boss, the dean, and a human

> > resources specialist about my request for accommodation. It didn't

> > really go well.

> >

> > I asked for a flexible schedule, but they said that my job is so

> > important I have to be at work no later than 10 AM. And if I

> can't,

> > then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled to

> > protection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days

> for my

> > symptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,

> > and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this sounds

> > fair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf.

> But

> > after 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.

> >

> > Any advice would be most welcome.

> >

> > trying to smile -

> >

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Pris,

Yeah, the depression can be like an endless tunnel. But I agree with

Jane that suicide is an irrevokable action. I guess my depression

comes from the fatigue and pain, and also a sense of hopelessness and

vulnerability, and a fear of how bad it could possible get. It saps

my self confidence. I am on an antidepressant - zoloft - and I've

been thinking of going back to talk therapy.

Hugs to you, too, Pris.

On Sun, 30 Jan 2005 00:57:13 EST, NELLIESTAR@... <NELLIESTAR@...> wrote:

>

> In a message dated 1/29/05 8:46:39 PM, getcoffee@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> I share the feelings of depression too. The fatigue and not being able to

> do normal activities due to the fatigue, swelling and pain is downright

> depressing at times. I try to be positive but sometimes the depression just

> overcomes me. I wish I could be more help. I'm sympathetic and think that

> something doesn't sound quite right with your job but I don't know.

>

>

>

>

>

> I have gotten so depressed that I have researched it and doctor assisted

> suicide is apparently legal for people who suffer as much as we do (in

> Switz.) (correct me if I am wrong) . Many times I have considered that

> alternative.

> I try and change my depression to anger, which makes me take action.

> I try and find another way to get better or help animals.

> Depression is a slow death worse than any pain from RA.

> We need to turn to health professionals who have drugs that can help.

> I won't give into to depression.

> You just must rise to the occasion.....I know it is hard, but better than

> the alternative,

> FIGHT IT!

> Hugs,

> Pris

>

>

>

> How was the one and only 4 time " World Pig Champion " Nellie trained?

> " Potbellied Pig Behavior and Training " book

> www.valentinesperformingpigs.com

>

> ________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jenni,

Your email made me smile. Thanks. Chocolate doughnuts are great!

On Sun, 30 Jan 2005 02:16:13 -0500, Jenni <chaospearl@...> wrote:

> ,

>

> I unfortunately don't have any advice for you regarding your employment

> situation. I've never worked in an office.

>

> About the depression, though -- we all go through this once in a while

> (sometimes more often) and I suspect everyone copes differently. The

> advice

> to " put on a happy smile " or " remember how many others are so much worse

> off

> than you " or " think about the blessings in your life " ... well, those are

> nice ideas, but not always helpful when your pain is immediate and sharp.

> I

> find chocolate doughnuts to be much happier. Or a trashy romance novel.

> Or

> letting a small warm puppy sleep on the couch next to me when no one's

> looking.

>

> Jenni

>

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " susanmerr " <susanmer@...>

> <Rheumatoid Arthritis >

> Sent: Saturday, January 29, 2005 11:13 PM

> Subject: Trying to cope with depression

>

>

> >

> >

> > Hi folks,

> >

> > Feeling depressed today. Those of you who also have bouts of

> > depression, do you have any specific ways of coping that you might

> > like to share?

> >

> > I'm feeling depressed today because no energy and no sense of

> > confidence - I feel like just a shadow of myself. Too much fatigue to

> > really get anything accomplished around the house, and I had a rough

> > week at work. I had a meeting with my boss, the dean, and a human

> > resources specialist about my request for accommodation. It didn't

> > really go well.

> >

> > I asked for a flexible schedule, but they said that my job is so

> > important I have to be at work no later than 10 AM. And if I can't,

> > then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled to

> > protection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days for my

> > symptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,

> > and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this sounds

> > fair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf. But

> > after 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.

> >

> > Any advice would be most welcome.

> >

> > trying to smile -

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/29/2005 11:16:53 PM Pacific Standard Time, chaospearl@... writes:

Or letting a small warm puppy sleep on the couch next to me when no one's looking.Jenni

Jenni,

I got a puppy....this helped me some too. It IS nice to have a small warm puppy around to cuddle with. It is a comfort at times.

Abby

[Guest guest]

Speaking of cats. I have four and all has a different personality as you'll

probably already know. The youngest is part siamese and has one heck

of a habit. She likes to bring her toys to bed with us but waits until I am

asleep before she does. Many times I wake up and there are two or three

toys next to my head. She wants me to play with her...........Joyce M

----- Original Message -----

From: " Merriman " <susanmer@...>

<Rheumatoid Arthritis >

Sent: Sunday, January 30, 2005 11:39 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Trying to cope with depression

Hi Rosie,

Oh, do I agree with you about pets! I have three cats - Idgie who is

12, and two sisters who are 2 years old: Mungo and Rumpel. They help

me a lot! with everything from smiles to keeping my knees warm at

night!

I'm glad you have a good job environment. I work at a university -

I'm surprised by their " rules. "

Thanks for your kind words,

On Sun, 30 Jan 2005 14:22:16 -0000, Rose Manninger

<rosegarden112@...> wrote:

>

> A pet is a wonderful thing. I have a cat and his name is Casino.

> He keeps me laughing and going. He needs me to survive. In fact,

> he is on the computer with me right now :-)...

>

> I work full time for a school district (15 years) Luckily I work in

> a wonderful dept. and have an understanding boss. What a difference

> that makes.

>

> ADA, if I were you I would start researching on google to find any

> sights having to do with American Disability Act. You may find your

> answer or direction there.

>

> Take care

> Rosie

>

>

>

> >

> > Hi folks,

> >

> > Feeling depressed today. Those of you who also have bouts of

> > depression, do you have any specific ways of coping that you might

> > like to share?

> >

> > I'm feeling depressed today because no energy and no sense of

> > confidence - I feel like just a shadow of myself. Too much

> fatigue to

> > really get anything accomplished around the house, and I had a

> rough

> > week at work. I had a meeting with my boss, the dean, and a human

> > resources specialist about my request for accommodation. It didn't

> > really go well.

> >

> > I asked for a flexible schedule, but they said that my job is so

> > important I have to be at work no later than 10 AM. And if I

> can't,

> > then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled to

> > protection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days

> for my

> > symptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,

> > and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this sounds

> > fair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf.

> But

> > after 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.

> >

> > Any advice would be most welcome.

> >

> > trying to smile -

> >

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I would see a lawyer because that does not seem like a reasonable interpretation of the ADA. Of course, I'm not a lawyer but I was in management for many years. I think your civil rights are being violated.

The medical profession may be able to help your depression by some combination of counseling and medication. Please seek medical help. God bless.

----- Original Message -----

From: susanmerr

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Sent: Saturday, January 29, 2005 8:13 PM

Subject: Trying to cope with depression

Hi folks,Feeling depressed today. Those of you who also have bouts ofdepression, do you have any specific ways of coping that you mightlike to share?I'm feeling depressed today because no energy and no sense ofconfidence - I feel like just a shadow of myself. Too much fatigue toreally get anything accomplished around the house, and I had a roughweek at work. I had a meeting with my boss, the dean, and a humanresources specialist about my request for accommodation. It didn'treally go well.I asked for a flexible schedule, but they said that my job is soimportant I have to be at work no later than 10 AM. And if I can't,then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled toprotection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days for mysymptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this soundsfair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf. Butafter 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.Any advice would be most welcome.trying to smile -

[Guest guest]

It sounds like they are trying to intimidate you.

I would find someone that knows for sure and because you have 20 years on the job, I would see about retiring with a pension.

Hugs, Jacy

~Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

jacymail@...IM: jacygal - ICQ: 96949087www.geocities.com/mtn_rose

Want a signature like this?

----- Original Message -----

From: susanmerr

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Sent: Saturday, January 29, 2005 21:13

Subject: Trying to cope with depression

Hi folks,Feeling depressed today. Those of you who also have bouts ofdepression, do you have any specific ways of coping that you mightlike to share?I'm feeling depressed today because no energy and no sense ofconfidence - I feel like just a shadow of myself. Too much fatigue toreally get anything accomplished around the house, and I had a roughweek at work. I had a meeting with my boss, the dean, and a humanresources specialist about my request for accommodation. It didn'treally go well.I asked for a flexible schedule, but they said that my job is soimportant I have to be at work no later than 10 AM. And if I can't,then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled toprotection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days for mysymptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this soundsfair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf. Butafter 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.Any advice would be most welcome.trying to smile -

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Thanks to everyone for their good advice and concern. My attorney is

out of town right now, but he will be back soon. And Human Resources

is supposed to send me a letter responding to my ADA request.

And, after about a three year " dry " spell, I am going back to see my

therapist - so he can help me deal with these work issues --- and also

to help me cope with RA.

Hugs to all,

On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 12:16:24 -0700, Jacy <jacymail@...> wrote:

> It sounds like they are trying to intimidate you.

> I would find someone that knows for sure and because you have 20 years on

> the job, I would see about retiring with a pension.

> Hugs, Jacy~Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

> (Eleanor Roosevelt)

> jacymail@...

> IM: jacygal - ICQ: 96949087

> www.geocities.com/mtn_rose

> Want a signature like this?

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: susanmerr

> Rheumatoid Arthritis

> Sent: Saturday, January 29, 2005 21:13

> Subject: Trying to cope with depression

>

>

> Hi folks,

>

> Feeling depressed today. Those of you who also have bouts of

> depression, do you have any specific ways of coping that you might

> like to share?

>

> I'm feeling depressed today because no energy and no sense of

> confidence - I feel like just a shadow of myself. Too much fatigue to

> really get anything accomplished around the house, and I had a rough

> week at work. I had a meeting with my boss, the dean, and a human

> resources specialist about my request for accommodation. It didn't

> really go well.

>

> I asked for a flexible schedule, but they said that my job is so

> important I have to be at work no later than 10 AM. And if I can't,

> then I'm not qualified for my job, and therefore not entitled to

> protection under the ADA. They also say I can't take sick days for my

> symptoms, because that means I can't work because of my disability,

> and therefore I'm not qualified for the job. None of this sounds

> fair, and I'll have to consult some sort of expert on my behalf. But

> after 20 years on the job, I feel short changed.

>

> Any advice would be most welcome.

>

> trying to smile -

>

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

i definitely agree.

Depression is a disease in itself for some. For others it's a situational issue or a one time thing. Never hesitate to ask for help.

I've suffered with depression for years, and getting RA put me into a down swing that lasted nearly a year. (very dark, very painful times)

But I've never seen suicide as a 'solution'. It's not really.

It's an 'opt out'. That's totally different and a huge waste.

There are still real solutions, no matter how crappy and agonising is our existence.

here are my tips for fighting back at the monster:

find as much blue sky and sunshine as i can

listen to happy, uplifting, peaceful or lively music

much dark chocolate -- but not too much cause it can contribute

animals

happy kids

double, triple checking my nutrition (the best supplements where possible)

water water water (in water-- showers, rain, pools, baths... and drinking water)

exercise used to be a big thing, sweat does wonders. (if you can manage.)

comedies, cartoons -- funny things everywhere!! Laughter brings up those endorphins (sic) that save the day... it's worth it.

talking about the day after the depression is gone (what will it feel like? what will I do? who will I see?)

ocean waves (sound and the motion as well)

candles (for the atmosphere they create as well as the movement of the flame)

incense, oils (aromatherapy is good ... get smells that fit the mood you need, not how you feel)

deep forest green (trees, grass, evergreens on snow... snow on evergreens)

soft things (stuffed animals, blankets, pets again )

LOADS of rest (dreams help solve the problems)

quiet time (my version of shut eye... prayer/meditation)

never shy away from pain killers. pain adds weight to the depression. If what you have is not working get something better, get to a pain clinic, seek alternative methods (meditation, acupressure/puncture...) Until you can get it into tolerable range.

Remember, depression sucks, but it's only a TINY part of what life means.

WE can get through this. All of this.

love and peace to you all

yellow

gloriarex@... wrote:

:

There are a lot of good suggestions here for you. It sounds as though you are a candidate for some kind of anti-depressant. We take so many drugs for our RA that one more to actually help you deal with the disease is not a big deal. I know that many people feel that there is some sort of moral judgement attached to having to take a pill for depression. But depression can be helped by chemicals. Please talk to your doctor if you feel as though your inability to cope is getting out of hand. There is help out there for you. I used to feel the same way about pain medication - that somehow I was being weak if I had to take it. But you know what? There is no shame in taking meds that will help you. Took me a while to figure out that one.

Good luck to you.

gloria__________________________________________________