hello

September 4, 2001

Dear

you have come to a great support group that will show

how they care by listening and reading and replying to

your mail.

I am 50 yrs young, I say young because I refuse to let

htis Fibro age me or depress me, I have had fibro all

my life, and I understand what you must be feeling

like at the moment. You probably feel you life is

crashing all around you as more and more you are

unable to do the things you used to do. But we have to

learn to enjoy what little we can do. You have to take

each moment and do what you can when you can and when

you can't do much, leave it as it will still be there

another day. Today for instance, I've had to lie down

most of the day, it took all my effort to get up and

have something to eat, this was due to me going

shopping yesterday. You will find there will be times

when you can't do much more than rest for a day. But

it is worth it to be able to go shopping.

You will find that making long term plans, you can't

always stick too as you may never know how you will

feel when that time comes. I usually say all being

well I will go or do somthing, and If I can't I will

do it another time. If there are any questions you

want to ask about what is happening with you, write

and tell us, or if you just want to have a moan and

gripe then do so. We all understand.

Others have found that their partner finds it hard to

see their loved one suffer so and don't know what to

do to help, as there is little they can do, other than

accept that there will be times when you can't do as

much and have to rest. They can be supportive by

perhaps doing little things around the house or just

bringing you a meal whilst you rest and just be there

for you to talk too. But remember if you can't talk to

anyone about what you are going through you can always

talk to our support group, because we know and

understand what you are going through.

I hope this is of help to you. Keep writing.

God bless

Lorraine UK

--- brenda odell wrote:

<HR>

<tt>

I am 40yrs old-have had fibromyalgia since '99 and

am

having a very bad yr. I am going through a bad

marital

experience at the moment. I have no energy what so

every can anyone help

__________________________________________________

September 4, 2001

>

> Subject: hello

>

> I am 40yrs old-have had fibromyalgia since '99 and am

> having a very bad yr. I am going through a bad marital

> experience at the moment. I have no energy what so

> every can anyone help

Hi

Just to say hello and welcome to the group. This has been a wonderful list

for me, I just went through a very intense crisis and the people who

responded were so kind and helpful to me, it really lifted me up and I

didn't feel so alone. FM isolates you so much, it is one of the most

insidious aspects of it I think. Because people just don't BELIEVE you can

be in that much pain, and the whole thing tends to distance them from you. I

don't know if your marital troubles have to do with the FM or not... I was

married for almost 10 years during which I had a bad accident and then got

FM, and my husband couldn't handle it and became abusive, so we had to

divorce, which left me in severely compromised financial straits (we didn't

live in a community property state, his family were millionaires, so they

just filed motion after motion until I could no longer afford to pay my

attorneys and had to give up).

Then I moved back to my home place and within a couple of weeks had

emergency surgery, which added another $25,000 to my already $20,000 debt --

no help at all from family, friends jumped ship, and I was finally, after

two years of fighting, awarded SSI Disability with Medicaid.

Then just as everything was settling down I fell in love again, five years

later, with somebody who promised me my FM was not a problem with him, we

were together for a year, he bought me an engagement ring, he promised to be

there forever, he seemed so NORMAL, he talked me into filing bankruptcy on

my debt so we could get married, quitting my part time at-home job so I

could take care of my health, etc etc, then one day a few weeks ago he just

up and said, the engagement is off, I'm leaving you, I can't live with

somebody who can't hike and ski. I'm sure there are hundreds of people with

similar stories with FM, especially if you have it severely and it seems to

be degenerating. But at least this is a place where you can " download " your

troubles, ask for help, and have some invisible friends who offer their

shoulders for you to cry on and who know what FM is and what you might be

going through, and who will not think you are crazy or exaggerating.

Because of what my ex fiancee did, I am bankrupt for 10 years, I will lose

my Disability money, maybe my Medicaid which pays for the medications which

cost hundreds of dollars alone every month. What he did, after months and

months of promising me my FM was no problem for him, that we would work out

anything and everything and never give up, is beyond despicable. Now I have

to put my energy into becoming financially independent at a time when my

body can hardly navigate its way around the house, I don't know how I could

possibly do any kind of job outside my home -- I'm not sure anyone would

even hire me with the meds I have to take. I just got out of the hospital

after being there several days with severe gastritis, anemia, a bunch of

other stuff, but basically a nervous breakdown over this situation which was

like having a brick building dropped on my head.

Anyway, don't be shy, just jump in and tell your story and you WILL receive

support here, that's what this list is for, at least I think so.

love,

Vimala

September 4, 2001