Guest guest Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 It's hard to deal with RA . Mine started bothering me yesterday as we had a cold front to come in. It hurts with every step I take. We don't have the cold weather you do but it's cold for Texas. I took Darvocet 200mg and one Prednisone. I'm hoping the steroid will kick in by tomorrow because I need to go to the store...............Joyce M ----- Original Message ----- From: Young_Arthritis_Utah Sent: Saturday, January 22, 2005 12:13 PM Subject: How Do You.. Right now the weather has been going up and down so much that there has not been a break. It is going from really cold -30 to warm +2 in the space of a day and needless to say the RA is going crazy. That is fine - I can deal with that and take pain medicines if I need to but... how do you stop the whole RA issue from becoming all consuming? It seems like the only topic of conversation I have with my husband or family is about arthritis - especially since it looks like my sister is finally getting to a specialist (she was diagnosed with early onset osteoarthritis years ago). I was also told by my mother that I complain this morning and allthough I try very hard not to, obviously I must. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated - I think I'm going to go toss some stuffed animals around! (and then try to get ready for a Motorcycle show my hubby wants to go into the city to see - oh fun!) "To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible." -- Aquinas "What is now proved was once only imagined." -- Blake No virus found in this outgoing message.Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 265.7.1 - Release Date: 19/01/2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 In a message dated 1/23/05 9:40:33 AM, wolfpak4@... writes: Believe me, I was the first person to plaster on a smile in the face of pain. BUT, that said, I am getting a bit frustrated with how I feel that RA is consuming my every thought, action and deed and am looking for ways to get through that. My relatives and husband do not like to hear me talk about RA. Can't say I blame them.....there is not much they can do to help. They feel helpless and frustrated. I think if you talk about it too much they will either start to ignore you, down play it, or think you are a drama queen. I do not mention it unless asked. I have come to accept RA as part of the "adventure" of getting old. Along with it comes sime other "perks"....maturity, wisdom, independence, financial security. Life is not always kind nor fair. I try and spend my time helping animals. I would rather be an old lady with RA than an animal that is subjected to a life of cruelty. So, we all cope in our own ways. But you will drive people away from you if you become obsesses with your miserable plight. Concentrate on the pleasures that you still have. They do not want to hear a daily report from you....doesn't mean they don't care. But concentrating on any negative can be deflating. Make a concsious effort to think of something else everytime the subject comes up. Blessings, Pris's dime The only book devoted to potbellied pig training.... discounted at www.valentinesperformingpigs.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 Wise words from Chris. I think dealing with chronic pain and disease is very much a mental game as well as a physical one. And it is a choice you make every single moment as to how much attention and power you want to give to it. Yes, there are times when the discomfort and pain are overwhelming. And during those times it might be helpful to give voice to your feelings and accept what is happening to you at that time. Personally, I feel that what is happening in my body and mind is a private thing, - something I share only with those closest to me. And then, sometimes, not even them. I often make a conscious effort NOT to talk about how I feel. If others treat me as though everything is fine, then I can often take my mind off how I feel and function on a different level despite the pain. This is my life. this is my body. I have no choice but to deal with it. But I hold out hope that someday I won't hurt as much, will have better mobility and not have to think about what will hurt every time I stand up. In the meantime, life is so much bigger and more interesting than what is happening in my own little world. Acknowledge the present, do what you can, and look towards the future. gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 I've had RA for over 35 years and in constant pain for most of those years but you have no choice but to keep struggling through. The world is unfair and I could write a book about my experiences with friends, family and workmates not to mention the lack of job opportunities because of RA. I've had 4 hip replacements and 3 knee replacements over the years but consider myself very lucky to be still working full time and also very active. I believe staying active is the key to living as close a normal life as possible. Those of you who would like to vent feel free to drop me an e-mail. I understand your pain and frustration and can relate to all your concerns. Maybe we can even help one another in our struggle. Having a positive attitude and staying active has done wonders for me since being diagnosed in 1967 at the age of 18 with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I wish you all the best. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 Jenni: I want to commend you on your incredible attitude. Your willingness to fight through your RA is terrific and will stand you in good stead over the long run. As a parent, I can understand your parents' position of wanting to protect you. Maybe you need to sit down with them and tell them that you need to make your own decisions about what you are and are not able to do. That this will help your ability to deal with your RA when you move out on your own. That being able to do "normal" things helps you feel normal and more hopeful about your condition. You sound like a very strong-minded young woman. Good for you! So much better to try and do things rather than feeling sorry for yourself and accepting the limitations they put on you. It's hard for parents to let go of their children, especially if there is an extenuating circumstance like a chronic disease. Let them know how they can best help you. Do I sound like Dear Abby or what?!? You go girl. gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 I'll add about a nickel to that. If everyone knows you have RA, that's about all you need to say. They'll ask if they want more information. If someone wants me to do something and I'm having a bad day, I usually say I can't do it today, but I'd love to go another day if they feel like waiting. If not -- have fun! That's life -- it's just part of who you are now, and doesn't need to be crammed in people's faces. If you concentrate on what you *can* do, and then do it, you'll find you're a much more pleasant and fun-to-be-with person. ----- Original Message ----- From: NELLIESTAR@... Rheumatoid Arthritis Sent: Sunday, January 23, 2005 12:52 PM Subject: Re: How Do You.. In a message dated 1/23/05 9:40:33 AM, wolfpak4@... writes: Believe me, I was the first person to plaster on a smile in the face of pain. BUT, that said, I am getting a bit frustrated with how I feel that RA is consuming my every thought, action and deed and am looking for ways to get through that.My relatives and husband do not like to hear me talk about RA.Can't say I blame them.....there is not much they can do to help.They feel helpless and frustrated.I think if you talk about it too much they will either start to ignore you, down play it, or think you are a drama queen. I do not mention it unless asked.I have come to accept RA as part of the "adventure" of getting old.Along with it comes sime other "perks"....maturity, wisdom, independence, financial security.Life is not always kind nor fair.I try and spend my time helping animals.I would rather be an old lady with RA than an animal that is subjected to a life of cruelty.So, we all cope in our own ways.But you will drive people away from you if you become obsesses with your miserable plight.Concentrate on the pleasures that you still have.They do not want to hear a daily report from you....doesn't mean they don't care. But concentrating on any negative can be deflating.Make a concsious effort to think of something else everytime the subject comes up.Blessings,Pris's dimeThe only book devoted to potbellied pig training....discounted atwww.valentinesperformingpigs.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 I just want to thank everyone for thier responses to my posting. It is always good to keep things in perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2005 Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Man, Jenni I feel for you!! It's hard to break away from your parents-- especially when they are trying to protect you and they are wrong or undermining your indepence. stay strong. that anger is valuable for when you get the chance to get out on your own.Jenni <chaospearl@...> wrote: I just wanted to add two cents from the other side of the fountain, concerning talking about your RA. In my life the problem is exactly the opposite. Even when I am silent about my disease, everyone else is bringing it up constantly. I'm 23 years old and I've been living with RA for ten years. I live at home with my parents and little sister (she's fifteen). My family loves me, but they can be... somewhat overprotective. They are constantly aware of "Jenni's limitations" to the point where they become the ones IMPOSING those limitations on me where otherwise none would exist. To be blunt, they treat me like a poor pathetic cripple who can't do anything. Now, some days it's true. I admit it. Some days I am pathetic. Some days I am crippled. Some days I can't get out of bed or dress myself or brush my hair. But as we all have experienced, some days I can "pass" easily. There are certain things I'll probably never be able to do again no matter how good I feel that day... with two total hip replacements and a shoulder coming up on Monday, I doubt I'll ever be alpine skiing. But it really bothers me when my family steps in my way and prevents me from doing things because they just assume I can't. Examples: I do all the grocery shopping in my household. Anytime we pull into the driveway with the car loaded with paper sacks and I pop the trunk and begin lifting things out, someone will shove me aside and take whatever I'm carrying and say "Here, I'll get that for you." It's in the guise of being helpful but I hear the unspoken message: "I'll do that. You're crippled and can't carry anything without dropping it." I live in the northeast -- yesterday Nature dumped two feet of wet snow on us. My father and sister were outside shoveling snow and I, of course, was laying on the couch like a potato. I wanted to put on my old ski outfit and go outside to play in the snow! I asked my mother if I could shovel snow too. She looked at me doubtfully and said she guessed I could try. So off I went -- immediately my father took the shovel away from me and tried to make me sit on the bench outside the driveway so I wouldn't slip on any ice. As if my traction is somehow worse than his. I took the shovel right back and asked where I could help, and after some "No, no, it's too heavy" and "You're not going to be able to do this!" I was finally relegated to scraping snow off the top of the cars, since apparently I'm useless for anything else. I do realize they only have my best interests in mind, but ... I'm not a kid anymore. I'm over 18. Hell, I'm over 21 and have been for several years. I can vote and I can drink and I can shovel the damn snow if I choose to. I waited until my father had gone inside again and left my sister to finish up, and then I took the shovel back and cleared out a path in the yard for our dogs to go outside. It took me about an hour and I was freezing and sore and I could barely lift the metal shovel when it was empty, let alone carrying a load of wet snow -- but by this point I was so angry that everyone thinks I'm useless that I probably would have stayed out there shoveling even if I'd been frostbitten and collapsed. It's a classic example of biting off one's nose to spite one's face. It was stupid of me. I don't care. Telling me I can't do something only makes me even more determined to find a way. So I guess my point is... sometimes "But you don't look sick!" is much better than: "No, no dear. Let me help you. You can't possibly do anything worthwhile." Jenni__________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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