Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 I think I would say something like "I have a malignant brain tumor". I think that would shut someone down in a hurry. I don't think we owe anyone any explanation as to our medical status and there are times that telling the truth and trying to educate someone is just not worth it. I limp because of my arthritis and I often get people who say stupid things to me. If I don't know them I'll usually say something like "yeah, I just landed wrong the last time I went skydiving." It makes me feel less vulnerable and I don't owe anyone any sort of explanation. I don't know why anyone feels the need to comment on a stranger's disability. It truly bugs me. Really, it's so rude! gloria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Hello, This is Steph in VA. I do not have a disabled parking sticker, although my rheumy has offered me one. I've heard about others having similar problems. I have thought about having t-shirts made that say "this is what a person with arthritis looks like". Sorry I can't offer any better advice. Steph in VA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Thanks . They are well worth getting if you can. I got mine through the Arthritis Foundation. One woman asked me what was wrong with me (i didnt), i was so shocked but should have said " how about you tell me your medical history and then i will tell you mine? " . i think i am going to start saying " maybe you should look at the sticker on the front of my car before you decide to be judgemental " . I dont know. But i do know that i have to think of something - as i am sick of getting upset about it - and it is unlikely to stop in a hurry. Suzie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Maybe " You don't have to look sick to actually be sick, you know " . I like your idea about directing them to your sticker as well. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 just tell them you wish they had your illness and you had there health then maybe they would understand I've done that a few time and they have said that they were sorry and left me alone now they just smile at me and nod their head as to say hi Sherrie > > dear all, > > does anyone else experience this? > > i have a disabled parking sticker so that i can park in parking bays > that are close to where i am going - for when i am not well and find > it hard to walk distances. i only use it when i really need to - > when my RA is flaring or my fatigue is really bad, as i know that > there are many people who need this service. > > but...because i am a 30 year old woman who looks healthy, i > constantly get comments from the general public like " do you realise > you are parking in a disabled bay? " and some of them are quite > aggressive towards me. i dont feel that i should have to explain my > medical history to every person who choses to judge me by the way i > look - rather than by accepting that maybe you dont have to be > elderly or in a wheelchair in order to have a disability! > (the trouble with RA, the steroids make us all looks so damn good!!!) > > it really upsets me as people look at me like i am a cheat and a > liar. i know people are only trying to protect those parking bays > for people who need them - but i am afraid they often stereotype > what a disabled person " looks like " which is so wrong. > > how would you handle it? what would you say? > > Thanks, > S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Maybe they have an illness too and are upset the spots are taken by someone who they THINK is healthier than them? I know that many times I feel really achy and see people who SEEM to be healthy taking disabled spot. I do know someone who uses her husband's disabled parking pass and that really irriates me as she doesn't need it. Then you have all those spaces up front at the hospital designated for pregnant women. I guess we never know what the person's condition is unless we ask them, but I wouldn't do that anyways. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Maggiehttp://www.4HockeyFans.comhttp://www.4FloridaHockey.comMSN: Maggies1429AOL: Maggies85 Rheumatoid Arthritis-unsubscribe <*> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 I would say, " I have a disability that doesn't show. " Short, but educational. And, while you don't owe anyone an explanation, it's likely that your comment will cause the person to stop and think before confronting others. Sierra --- In Rheumatoid Arthritis , " suzie " <suzward05@y...> wrote: > > dear all, > > does anyone else experience this? > > i have a disabled parking sticker so that i can park in parking bays > that are close to where i am going - for when i am not well and find > it hard to walk distances. i only use it when i really need to - > when my RA is flaring or my fatigue is really bad, as i know that > there are many people who need this service. > > but...because i am a 30 year old woman who looks healthy, i > constantly get comments from the general public like " do you realise > you are parking in a disabled bay? " and some of them are quite > aggressive towards me. i dont feel that i should have to explain my > medical history to every person who choses to judge me by the way i > look - rather than by accepting that maybe you dont have to be > elderly or in a wheelchair in order to have a disability! > (the trouble with RA, the steroids make us all looks so damn good!!!) > > it really upsets me as people look at me like i am a cheat and a > liar. i know people are only trying to protect those parking bays > for people who need them - but i am afraid they often stereotype > what a disabled person " looks like " which is so wrong. > > how would you handle it? what would you say? > > Thanks, > S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 you can always borrow my best line: "shark bit off my leg" = it really is believed by my middle schoolers here at work = LOL = gentle hugs, Marcia <catdelouise@...> wrote: Maybe "You don't have to look sick to actually be sick, you know". I like your idea about directing them to your sticker as well.> >__________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 The one time I was pestered by someone who apparently felt young people shouldn't be selfishly hogging up the handicapped parking spaces, I happened to be wearing a fairly short and loose spring skirt. I flipped up the fabric and displayed my six-inch purple surgical scars on either hip. They're long and bright enough that I don't need to be at all indecent for them to be visible. She snapped her mouth shut and walked away without even asking how I'd gotten them. I have a somewhat different take on disabled parking, and I know a lot of you won't agree with me. That's okay. Unless there are only a few open parking spaces, I use my sticker anytime I don't feel like walking ten miles through the parking lot to Macy's. I don't care if I'm having a bad day or not. I deserve it. I'm 23 years old and I never got to be a kid. I didn't go to my prom. I never had a real boyfriend. My medications make me look like I have three chins and the body hair of a male gorilla. I have three metal joints and will never be able to proudly wear a swimsuit or a tank top again. I'm not able to hold a job or go to school. There's nothing anyone can do to give me these things back or make any of them right for me, but in exchange for all the crap I go through every day, society has generously provided me with a little sticker to hang on somebody else's car because I can't drive. That sticker makes me really popular at Christmastime when it's five degrees out and the closest parking space to the mall is in Guam. My friends mysteriously think of me when there's an extra Yankees ticket. I may be going to hell for it, but when I arrive there, I'm parking in the good spot. Jenni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 --- In Rheumatoid Arthritis , Jenni <chaospearl@o...> wrote: > I may be going to hell for it, but when I arrive there, I'm parking in the > good spot. > > Jenni LOL Jenni. You're a good writer! Sierra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 I don't have a sticker and would not expect comments because of my age (77 years). However, I think it should be enough to smile and say, "My doctor thinks I need the sticker." God bless. ----- Original Message ----- From: suzie Rheumatoid Arthritis Sent: Tuesday, March 22, 2005 2:12 AM Subject: Disabled Parking Bays dear all,does anyone else experience this?i have a disabled parking sticker so that i can park in parking bays that are close to where i am going - for when i am not well and find it hard to walk distances. i only use it when i really need to - when my RA is flaring or my fatigue is really bad, as i know that there are many people who need this service.but...because i am a 30 year old woman who looks healthy, i constantly get comments from the general public like "do you realise you are parking in a disabled bay?" and some of them are quite aggressive towards me. i dont feel that i should have to explain my medical history to every person who choses to judge me by the way i look - rather than by accepting that maybe you dont have to be elderly or in a wheelchair in order to have a disability! (the trouble with RA, the steroids make us all looks so damn good!!!)it really upsets me as people look at me like i am a cheat and a liar. i know people are only trying to protect those parking bays for people who need them - but i am afraid they often stereotype what a disabled person "looks like" which is so wrong.how would you handle it? what would you say?Thanks,S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Suzie, I know it is annoying. But I smile and say, "Thank you for caring about keeping the spaces for those who need them. Unfortunately, at this time, I am one of them." Hugs, Jacy ~Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. jacymail@...IM: jacygal - ICQ: 96949087www.geocities.com/mtn_rose Want a signature like this? ----- Original Message ----- From: suzie Rheumatoid Arthritis Sent: Tuesday, March 22, 2005 03:12 Subject: Disabled Parking Bays dear all,does anyone else experience this?i have a disabled parking sticker so that i can park in parking bays that are close to where i am going - for when i am not well and find it hard to walk distances. i only use it when i really need to - when my RA is flaring or my fatigue is really bad, as i know that there are many people who need this service.but...because i am a 30 year old woman who looks healthy, i constantly get comments from the general public like "do you realise you are parking in a disabled bay?" and some of them are quite aggressive towards me. i dont feel that i should have to explain my medical history to every person who choses to judge me by the way i look - rather than by accepting that maybe you dont have to be elderly or in a wheelchair in order to have a disability! (the trouble with RA, the steroids make us all looks so damn good!!!)it really upsets me as people look at me like i am a cheat and a liar. i know people are only trying to protect those parking bays for people who need them - but i am afraid they often stereotype what a disabled person "looks like" which is so wrong.how would you handle it? what would you say?Thanks,S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 You can answer with a simple, " Yes. " I try not to answer all inquiries about my condition, simply because curiosity isn't a good reason for me to divulge the intimate details of my condition. However, I've been having an ugly little mediocre flare (this one is mostly high fatigue and inflammation) that means that I am using my walking supports to get around. Well, I went to do a half hour or so at the gym and the reception girl, who isn't used to seeing me that way looked at me kinda funny on the first day. On the second, she asked me what had happened with a bit of guilty feigned disinterest. Now, usually, I would say `nothing' or something like that to try and play it off, but this time I said, " I have a few conditions that mess around with my mobility. " Of course, she said, " Well, cause you weren't like that the other day. " Or something or other that I couldn't quite hear from feeling singled out. And I responded, `it comes and goes'. I don't know how I feel about it all, but I do know that she probably won't bother me about it again. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed from being asked about it or because I'm still not accustomed to crutching around in public! All I know is that, even though after 20 minutes of zero impact I came home and slept hard for four hours, my work-out was worth it. As for the curious blue spot questioners… remember they are trying to help `us' out! LOL Just don't take it personally. Love and peace and strength to you Yellow -----Original Message----- From: suzie [mailto:suzward05@...] Sent: Tuesday, March 22, 2005 5:13 AM Rheumatoid Arthritis Subject: Disabled Parking Bays dear all, does anyone else experience this? i have a disabled parking sticker so that i can park in parking bays that are close to where i am going - for when i am not well and find it hard to walk distances. i only use it when i really need to - when my RA is flaring or my fatigue is really bad, as i know that there are many people who need this service. but...because i am a 30 year old woman who looks healthy, i constantly get comments from the general public like " do you realise you are parking in a disabled bay? " and some of them are quite aggressive towards me. i dont feel that i should have to explain my medical history to every person who choses to judge me by the way i look - rather than by accepting that maybe you dont have to be elderly or in a wheelchair in order to have a disability! (the trouble with RA, the steroids make us all looks so damn good!!!) it really upsets me as people look at me like i am a cheat and a liar. i know people are only trying to protect those parking bays for people who need them - but i am afraid they often stereotype what a disabled person " looks like " which is so wrong. how would you handle it? what would you say? Thanks, S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Oh goodness, Steph, that sounds like a great T! Do you mind if I make a few for myself? You can get those iron on's from the office supply store. Love and peace to you yellow -----Original Message----- From: DeNicola [mailto:sdenicola@...] Sent: Tuesday, March 22, 2005 8:04 AM Rheumatoid Arthritis Subject: RE: Disabled Parking Bays Hello, This is Steph in VA. I do not have a disabled parking sticker, although my rheumy has offered me one. I've heard about others having similar problems. I have thought about having t-shirts made that say " this is what a person with arthritis looks like " . Sorry I can't offer any better advice. Steph in VA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 Thank you so much everyone for your comments - I had a great laugh! So nice to hear that it doesnt just happen to me - not that I want others to go through what i experience, but it is nice not to feel alone. Your ideas were great - i will write them down and try them all out - let you know which ones have the best impact! Suzie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 count me in on this deal....I'll take three! gentle hugs, Marcia <dhuntress@...> wrote: > > Oh goodness, Steph, that sounds like a great T!"this is what a person with arthritis looks like". > Do you mind if I make a few for myself?> You can get those iron on's from the office supply store.> Love and peace to you> yellow> >Yeah, you can order me a few too. :-) LOL...-__________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 Hey Yellow, Go ahead! Take care, Steph ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Oh goodness, Steph, that sounds like a great T! Do you mind if I make a few for myself? You can get those iron on's from the office supply store. Love and peace to you yellow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 You aren’t going to h*ll; we are all there now because of this stinking disease. Keep your chin up – it makes a better target. Have a great day, Lynette & Molly (the fruit stealing Boston Terrier) land Zone 7 From: Jenni [mailto:chaospearl@...] Sent: Tuesday, March 22, 2005 12:35 PM To: Rheumatoid Arthritis Subject: Re: Disabled Parking Bays I may be going to hell for it, but when I arrive there, I'm parking in the good spot. Jenni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 Yes,. I know what you mean! I am a 37 yo with the same issue.,.,.,I just smile and keep going! I do have the plaque for a reason.,.,.,., Stay strong and healthy >From: " Jacy " <jacymail@...> >Reply-Rheumatoid Arthritis ><Rheumatoid Arthritis > >Subject: Re: Disabled Parking Bays >Date: Tue, 22 Mar 2005 12:55:56 -0700 > >Suzie, >I know it is annoying. But I smile and say, " Thank you for caring about >keeping the spaces for those who need them. Unfortunately, at this time, I >am one of them. " > > Hugs, Jacy ~Of all the things I've lost, I miss my >mind the most. > > > jacymail@... > IM: jacygal - ICQ: 96949087 > www.geocities.com/mtn_rose > > > > > Want a signature like this? > > >----- Original Message ----- >From: suzie >Rheumatoid Arthritis >Sent: Tuesday, March 22, 2005 03:12 >Subject: Disabled Parking Bays > > > >dear all, > >does anyone else experience this? > >i have a disabled parking sticker so that i can park in parking bays >that are close to where i am going - for when i am not well and find >it hard to walk distances. i only use it when i really need to - >when my RA is flaring or my fatigue is really bad, as i know that >there are many people who need this service. > >but...because i am a 30 year old woman who looks healthy, i >constantly get comments from the general public like " do you realise >you are parking in a disabled bay? " and some of them are quite >aggressive towards me. i dont feel that i should have to explain my >medical history to every person who choses to judge me by the way i >look - rather than by accepting that maybe you dont have to be >elderly or in a wheelchair in order to have a disability! >(the trouble with RA, the steroids make us all looks so damn good!!!) > >it really upsets me as people look at me like i am a cheat and a >liar. i know people are only trying to protect those parking bays >for people who need them - but i am afraid they often stereotype >what a disabled person " looks like " which is so wrong. > >how would you handle it? what would you say? > >Thanks, >S > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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