Re:Dog poop comment and letting go

[Guest guest]

,

I agree—support system right here! But

it would be nice to have it from the people under your own roof.

I have a thought to offer for your

consideration, and for all of us dealing with non-support from family. (I’m

hesitating because I would not for anything step on anyone’s spiritual

tradition. Let me self-identify—I’m a Unitarian minister, which

means I embrace a very broad and liberal theology and spirituality. OK with me

if you stop reading…)

For my own spiritual practice these last

few weeks I’ve started two new things. I’ve started taking yoga,

finally, after years of knowing I should. I go to a yoga center that is also focused

on the spiritual and philosophical aspects of yoga (as opposed to yoga at the

local gym). I’ve known all along that healing for me is going to have to

integrate body, mind and spirit. I come home from yoga at zero stress, but

energized.

The second thing I’m doing is

reading again the Tao Te Ching, which is the sacred literature of Taoism. It is

so hard for me to internalize this central principle: that the harder we try,

the more firmly attached to a thing (like an outcome or someone else’s

behavior) the more likely to fail. It is in letting go….well, here’s

a quote for the day:

In pursuit of knowledge,

Every day something is added.

In the practice of the Tao,

Everyday something is dropped.

Less and less do you need to force things,

Until finally you arrive at non-action.

When nothing is done,

Nothing is left undone.

True mastery can be gained by letting

things go their own way.

It can’t be gained by interfering.

(48)

One interpretation—you can’t

change the behavior of others by trying to do that. Live in your own truth.

They’ll notice.

OK, done preaching. I’m going to

Whole Foods for Mochi.

Laurie

lbilyeu@...

From:

SillyYaks [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of Minnich

Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006

9:59 AM

To: SillyYaks

Subject: Re: Re:Dog

poop comment

You do have a support system right here.

I have an 18 year old adopted son who is the only one of our family of 6 who

eats gluten. I suspect he may have issues with gluten as well, but he doesn't

even want to consider it. It's too bad your parents aren't more supportive. How

long have you been diagnosed?

Jupiter, FL

Re:Dog poop comment

In a

message dated 2/20/2006 7:23:35 PM Eastern Standard Time, SillyYaks writes:

They

said to a sibling, “Gluten is to your sister like dog poop is to you. How

much dog poop would you like on your plate?” I thought it was just

brilliant, really—clear AND gross.

If I said that to my 15

yo son, he would say, " And how much dog poop can we get on HER plate

since she can't have gluten? " Ugh, kids (er, teens).....he is just

*really* not happy being in a gluten free* household. *I still buy him

stuff I can't eat, prepared foods, (I just don't prepare stuff.)

We had a slam bang

argument the other day....as I now refuse to make glutenous stuff in the

house. We were at my parents, and he was digging through their pantry. He

found a brownie mix he wanted me to make him. I then

reminded him that I can't handle the stuff flying in the air and he

slammed out of their house banging doors and such...anyway, my father

yelled at him, " Hey watch it!! This is MY house! " And then

proceeded to yell at ME. " This is your fault you know! This is

not easy for ANY of us!! You make life difficult! " I said, " and

you think I LIKE this? Try being in my shoes and see how d*** hard it is! "

and walked out the door.

As a side note: My

mother is *very* likely Celiac. She literally goes to the bathroom

within minutes of almost every time she begins to put food in her mouth.

She had lab work done, but refuses to show it to anyone, faining indifference

or normalcy. " Nothing to be worried about. " I think* she has

made the connection that the times she *does* get sick, is when she has had

gluten..but this is hard to prove, since she won't NOT eat gluten...as it may

prove her celiac (to the rest of us.) My father is quite convinced she may

be. He spoke to me the other day, about her digestion issues (as she had

been in the bathroom three times, once during dinner (at a restaurant,

once on the way home and once immediately in the door to home). This

happens on a regular basis...and really affects her/their life...she avoids

it (life), since there are 'consequences.' She would rather stay home,

near a toilet (although she will not say that). Is that denial OR

WHAT?? Sadly, she has the same doctor I used to have. What a

pathetic excuse of a doctor. So many symptoms for so many years...and

NOTHING, literally nothing is tested or acknowledged as a concern.

Back to the original

topic: I have continued to make my son a few goodies that he likes over the

last 8 months. However, I have noticed lately, that it does affect me

(some days worse than others). I made my son brownies a few weeks ago

and used a MASK, so as not breathe it in.......and I STILL ended up sick...for

a couple days. It gets in the air and there is nothing we can do about

that. He is very upset, as he said I told him that this would not affect

him and what he can eat.....but it has....at least to a degree. Of

course, he expects me to MAKE the food, that I cannot eat. He

doesn't seem to *want* to get that he can eat whatever he wants, whenever he

wants, outside the home, school (near a public market and lunch mall/food

court, city dining, lots of restaurants...although time is tight, so that

limits them to the food court and the market...they COULD eat at the school?

HA! like they would do that! Sure would be cheaper for me, if he did!) He

gets whatever he wants from our corner store and at any restaurant we/he goes

to.

My family complains

that I am embarrassing to go out with, since I ask so many questions, and make

so many 'demands.' Almost as though I *enjoy* it! Like

it isn't my *right* to be able to eat safely?? I am paying for the food

AND the service! Of course I realize just dining out that contamination

is a possibility, but geez.........

They are really my only

support system, so I guess I don't really *have* one.

Feeling kinda bummed

now,

PS, I have to wonder if

my son may also be having issues with gluten...he complains of a stomach ache

or gas or bowels...and says, " Geez, what did I eat? " And I just

look at him now, as I think he knows the answer. He *has* to come to

terms with this himself though...

I am not going to

*force* a GF diet on a teen. He knows it is likely the best thing for

him, but he needs to be tested before going GF. When he is ready, we will

test him, and then he can make that change. I have enough battles as it

is, this is one I choose not to fight. He will learn by example in this

case...as our actions often speak louder than words. He saw me get sick

last night .... I must have had a trace amount of gluten somewhere...a crumb or

something.

[Guest guest]

Laurie, that was beautifully said. You really can't change anyone

else by trying.

In my own experience I found that as I began to feel better, more

energetic and comfortable with my new life, I changed myself. I

became more assertive about how I have to care for myself. I can

say " no " without discussion or guilt. This is the way it is, deal

with it. I would never have been able to do that in the beginning.

You should have seen how timid I was in resaurants a year ago. My

husband would usually end up doing most of the talking because I

wouldn't. I don't think I ate out for three straight months to avoid

the embarrassment. (I am a wallflower by nature)

I'm lucky I didn't get much grief from my friends and family. That

must be a hard row to hoe. I probably would have just withdrawn

completely to avoid the confrontation. And now, I am celiac hear me

roar.

Hang in there, !

Lori in ATL

>

> ,

>

> I agree-support system right here! But it would be nice to have it

from the

> people under your own roof.

>

>

>

> I have a thought to offer for your consideration, and for all of us

dealing

> with non-support from family. (I'm hesitating because I would not

for

> anything step on anyone's spiritual tradition. Let me self-identify-

I'm a

> Unitarian minister, which means I embrace a very broad and liberal

theology

> and spirituality. OK with me if you stop reading.)

>

>

>

> For my own spiritual practice these last few weeks I've started two

new

> things. I've started taking yoga, finally, after years of knowing I

should.

> I go to a yoga center that is also focused on the spiritual and

> philosophical aspects of yoga (as opposed to yoga at the local

gym). I've

> known all along that healing for me is going to have to integrate

body, mind

> and spirit. I come home from yoga at zero stress, but energized.

>

>

>

> The second thing I'm doing is reading again the Tao Te Ching, which

is the

> sacred literature of Taoism. It is so hard for me to internalize

this

> central principle: that the harder we try, the more firmly attached

to a

> thing (like an outcome or someone else's behavior) the more likely

to fail.

> It is in letting go..well, here's a quote for the day:

>

>

>

> In pursuit of knowledge,

>

> Every day something is added.

>

> In the practice of the Tao,

>

> Everyday something is dropped.

>

> Less and less do you need to force things,

>

> Until finally you arrive at non-action.

>

> When nothing is done,

>

> Nothing is left undone.

>

> True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way.

>

> It can't be gained by interfering. (48)

>

>

>

> One interpretation-you can't change the behavior of others by

trying to do

> that. Live in your own truth. They'll notice.

>

>

>

> OK, done preaching. I'm going to Whole Foods for Mochi.

>

>

>

> Laurie

>

> lbilyeu@...

>

> _____

>

> From: SillyYaks [mailto:SillyYaks ]

On Behalf

> Of Minnich

> Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 9:59 AM

> To: SillyYaks

> Subject: Re: Re:Dog poop comment

>

>

>

> You do have a support system right here. I have an 18 year old

adopted son

> who is the only one of our family of 6 who eats gluten. I suspect

he may

> have issues with gluten as well, but he doesn't even want to

consider it.

> It's too bad your parents aren't more supportive. How long have you

been

> diagnosed?

>

>

>

> Jupiter, FL

>

> Re:Dog poop comment

>

>

>

> In a message dated 2/20/2006 7:23:35 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> SillyYaks writes:

>

> They said to a sibling, " Gluten is to your sister like dog poop is

to you.

> How much dog poop would you like on your plate? " I thought it was

just

> brilliant, really-clear AND gross.

>

>

>

> If I said that to my 15 yo son, he would say, " And how much dog

poop can we

> get on HER plate since she can't have gluten? " Ugh, kids (er,

teens).....he

> is just *really* not happy being in a gluten free* household. *I

still buy

> him stuff I can't eat, prepared foods, (I just don't prepare stuff.)

>

>

>

> We had a slam bang argument the other day....as I now refuse to make

> glutenous stuff in the house. We were at my parents, and he was

digging

> through their pantry. He found a brownie mix he wanted me to make

him. I

> then reminded him that I can't handle the stuff flying in the air

and he

> slammed out of their house banging doors and such...anyway, my

father yelled

> at him, " Hey watch it!! This is MY house! " And then proceeded to

yell at

> ME. " This is your fault you know! This is not easy for ANY of

us!! You

> make life difficult! " I said, " and you think I LIKE this? Try

being in my

> shoes and see how d*** hard it is! " and walked out the door.

>

>

>

> As a side note: My mother is *very* likely Celiac. She literally

goes to

> the bathroom within minutes of almost every time she begins to put

food in

> her mouth. She had lab work done, but refuses to show it to

anyone, faining

> indifference or normalcy. " Nothing to be worried about. " I think*

she has

> made the connection that the times she *does* get sick, is when she

has had

> gluten..but this is hard to prove, since she won't NOT eat

gluten...as it

> may prove her celiac (to the rest of us.) My father is quite

convinced she

> may be. He spoke to me the other day, about her digestion issues

(as she

> had been in the bathroom three times, once during dinner (at a

restaurant,

> once on the way home and once immediately in the door to home).

This

> happens on a regular basis...and really affects her/their

life...she avoids

> it (life), since there are 'consequences.' She would rather stay

home, near

> a toilet (although she will not say that). Is that denial OR

WHAT?? Sadly,

> she has the same doctor I used to have. What a pathetic excuse of

a doctor.

> So many symptoms for so many years...and NOTHING, literally nothing

is

> tested or acknowledged as a concern.

>

>

>

> Back to the original topic: I have continued to make my son a few

goodies

> that he likes over the last 8 months. However, I have noticed

lately, that

> it does affect me (some days worse than others). I made my son

brownies a

> few weeks ago and used a MASK, so as not breathe it in.......and I

STILL

> ended up sick...for a couple days. It gets in the air and there is

nothing

> we can do about that. He is very upset, as he said I told him that

this

> would not affect him and what he can eat.....but it has....at least

to a

> degree. Of course, he expects me to MAKE the food, that I cannot

eat. He

> doesn't seem to *want* to get that he can eat whatever he wants,

whenever he

> wants, outside the home, school (near a public market and lunch

mall/food

> court, city dining, lots of restaurants...although time is tight,

so that

> limits them to the food court and the market...they COULD eat at

the school?

> HA! like they would do that! Sure would be cheaper for me, if he

did!) He

> gets whatever he wants from our corner store and at any restaurant

we/he

> goes to.

>

>

>

> My family complains that I am embarrassing to go out with, since I

ask so

> many questions, and make so many 'demands.' Almost as though I

*enjoy* it!

> Like it isn't my *right* to be able to eat safely?? I am paying

for the

> food AND the service! Of course I realize just dining out that

> contamination is a possibility, but geez.........

>

>

>

> They are really my only support system, so I guess I don't really

*have*

> one.

>

>

>

> Feeling kinda bummed now,

>

>

>

>

>

> PS, I have to wonder if my son may also be having issues with

gluten...he

> complains of a stomach ache or gas or bowels...and says, " Geez,

what did I

> eat? " And I just look at him now, as I think he knows the answer.

He *has*

> to come to terms with this himself though...

>

> I am not going to *force* a GF diet on a teen. He knows it is

likely the

> best thing for him, but he needs to be tested before going GF.

When he is

> ready, we will test him, and then he can make that change. I have

enough

> battles as it is, this is one I choose not to fight. He will learn

by

> example in this case...as our actions often speak louder than

words. He saw

> me get sick last night .... I must have had a trace amount of gluten

> somewhere...a crumb or something.

>

>

>

>

>

>