Re: Digest Number 975 But how do. .

[Guest guest]

Hi, just want to add my two cents to the mix of comments about 's question. I have had rheumatic ailments for most of my life, starting in 1964 to the present and it's getting worse all the time. I've been where you are, where you just don't know all the time what to say or not say about it. I've been over protected by well meaning friends but I've also been told to stop being a drama queen too by well meaning friends. What I've learned over the years is that I needed to focus on the things I can still do and find other things to take the place of those which I can't do anymore. But most of all, I needed to mature, to get involved with something that I liked, and focus also more frequently on others, their concerns, etc. and leave mine behind more often than I did (do). No one but someone who suffers in the same way as you do can truly understand -- no one -- and they won't until they are facing the very same sort of thing personally. But doing the best you can to be pleasant with others, to become involved with them and their interests, to be outgoing takes your focus off yourself. And it's true, think about it, even you, yourself don't like to have someone who's constantly talking about their ailments or personal disasters, etc. almost every time you see them. You begin to want to either avoid that person(s) or you may unconsciously think unkind thoughts about them when you see them headed your way. The Golden Rule can be applied in all circumstances: Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. But don't expect it OF others. It takes some doing, to be forgetful of self to a degree, in order that you don't burden someone else with the recital of all your own sufferings or sorrows, AND to be generous hearted enough to be willing to listen to theirs. Life is unfair, but there is more peace of mind if you can roll with the punches and just accept yourself as you are, even if you can't do some things today that you could do yesterday. We have to take care of ourselves the best we can, but we also have to try to be mindful of others. Sometimes all you can do is suffer what you have to suffer in that moment but this means that you can also enjoy what you can enjoy as well. It involves equanimity of spirit, a simplicity, and we can choose to grow toward that but it really does take effort on our part. I think too that if you can pray for others, you will be looking less at yourself that way too. Anyway, just some thoughts.