Guest guest Posted May 13, 2001 Report Share Posted May 13, 2001 , Your doctor can write you a prescription so that you can get a handicap sticker. I have a placard that I put over the mirror in front when I park in a handicap place. In Texas we have license plates but my husband has a handicap license plate and you can only have one in a family. Kind of silly that. Take care, Irene > You're right, I don't tell people anything about how they feel. I do > sometimes wonder why people get to park in the handicapped parking spot, > and > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2001 Report Share Posted May 13, 2001 , Your doctor can write you a prescription so that you can get a handicap sticker. I have a placard that I put over the mirror in front when I park in a handicap place. In Texas we have license plates but my husband has a handicap license plate and you can only have one in a family. Kind of silly that. Take care, Irene > You're right, I don't tell people anything about how they feel. I do > sometimes wonder why people get to park in the handicapped parking spot, > and > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2001 Report Share Posted May 13, 2001 , Your doctor can write you a prescription so that you can get a handicap sticker. I have a placard that I put over the mirror in front when I park in a handicap place. In Texas we have license plates but my husband has a handicap license plate and you can only have one in a family. Kind of silly that. Take care, Irene > You're right, I don't tell people anything about how they feel. I do > sometimes wonder why people get to park in the handicapped parking spot, > and > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2001 Report Share Posted May 13, 2001 Sue, Have fun! I've never even seen karaoke, let alone tried it...other than on tv. I love the part in " My Best Friend's Wedding... " LOL! If my ex had had to go away for days at a time, he may not be my ex..*HUGE GRIN*...I'm sorry you have to be alone, though. We're here if you need us, though. Actually, lately, I have been feeling superb, especially for me! If it weren't for my aches and pains, I'd think I was normal. Other than yesterday morning, I'm even able to get up without that jerky motion of the cricks and creaks. (If that makes sense...) Tomorrow I go see my physical therapist, and I am very excited! Hope you had a great time singing! Age: 34 Dx'd: early 1990s Location: southeastern Vermont Children: 1 four-legged furry one named Missy Siblings: 3 sisters, 1 brother (I am the youngest) Currently renting from mom, working for mom, and typing at home. I am divorced and been with SO since 1997. > >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Sun, 13 May 2001 12:17:17 -0700 (PDT) > > >--- s wrote: > > Sue, > > > > You're right, I don't tell people anything about how > > they feel. I do > > sometimes wonder why people get to park in the > > handicapped parking spot, and > > I don't (oh, that's right, no handicap sticker for > > me...lol), and when I > > have to have the cart at the car to hold myself up > > (you know those times > > when you it's not exhaustion or pain, but your brain > > won't tell your legs to > > go forward?)...and get myself through the store...I > > feel very lucky to have > > the SO that I have...he is very conscientious of the > > fact that sometimes I > > need that extra help... > > > > As a matter of fact, just a little story: just now > > he was going to shower, > > and he asked was it okay, and I said of course it > > was. He said, well I > > didn't know if you wanted me to do anything for you > > before I went. *SMILE* > > What a guy... > > > > > > >abraxis3@yahoo > >Hi ! > >Ya, I do know what you mean about your legs not >wanting >to go where they should and the times when they won't >even function. Every morning I get up and stumble >around and have a confrontation with the dresser >because I haven't gotten my 'walking legs' yet. When >I >go to the store I love that cart to lean on. I use to >worry about people looking at me, but it doesn't >matter anymore. I've fallen down the steps so many >times it isn't funny. I use to think it was my >eyesight, but now I know different. It takes over an >hour, in the morning, for my hands to quit tingling so >much and for them to feel half-way normal. I sit down >immediately, after carefully coming down the stairs, >and just get my bearings and weight for the brain fog >and everything else to lift. I use to cry about it, >but now I accept it as it is. I use to tell myself, >you're 'useless' and 'good for nothing', but that only >put me into a deeper depression. Now, I tell myself, > " this, too, shall pass " . Turn on the tv, pick up a >book or ponder on what the priorities are for my day, >and how best to accomplish them, without over-taxing >myself. Above all, the hardest thing for me to learn >was how to say 'no' and not feel 'guilty' about it. I >decided, that if I'm truly respected and appreciated, >I >can say 'no' and it's okay. If not...well, they'll >just have to get over it, or not! I have to do what's >'best' for me...now one else will, when it all comes >down to it! >I use to think that all of this was 'selfish', but it >really isn't. I'm thankful for the therapy I've had >in >the past, and wonderful programs like Oprah. >My husband had to read about my problems, and hear >them >from someone else, before he accepted them, and I did >feel some resentment about it; but he's gotten much >better since then. He, also, notices when I'm having >problems now and offers to help. The only problems is > >that his job takes him away. Sometimes I'm alone for >3 days at a time. I just try to have him do the >things >I know will need to be there for me during that time >before he goes. But I manage, and I try to keep >myself >busy. If it wasn't for my karaoke social life, I >don't >know what I would do. It keeps me sane! For some >people it's Bingo, etc. Sometimes (actually, most of >the time) I have to really force myself to get moving. >But when I get there..it's worth it! Things seem to >go >in slow-motion for me anymore. It takes me an hour >longer to fix my hair and make-up...but I do a good >job!! > >I hope your having one of your 'better' days today. >I'm going to sing again today, so I have to give >myself >a couple of hours to get ready!!! > >Take care! >Sue > > > > > > > > > >Reply-To: > > >To: > > >Subject: Re: Thanks! > > >Date: Sun, 13 May 2001 04:04:04 -0700 (PDT) > > > > > > > > >--- s wrote: > > > > Sue, > > > > > > > > Even now, I still often have a hard time knowing > > how > > > > other people feel about > > > > their own aches and pains, you'd think we'd be > > more > > > > attuned to it, but I > > > > guess it doesn't work that way (either that, or > > it's > > > > just me...) > > > > > > >, > > > > > >I'm sure you don't tell them that they don't have a > > >right to feel the way they do, and that you respect > > >them. I don't know quite how someone else feels > > >either. Others can be in a worse condition than I > > am, > > >I'm sure. There's no way of knowing...my reality > > is > > >my > > >own, and their's is their's. So, it's not just > > you. > > >Maybe someday we'll all be telepathic, but it > > hasn't > > >happened yet! > > > > > >Have a great day! > > > > > >Sue > > > > > > > > > > > Age: 34 > > > > Dx'd: early 1990s > > > > Location: southeastern Vermont > > > > Children: 1 four-legged furry one named Missy > > > > Siblings: 3 sisters, 1 brother (I am the > > youngest) > > > > Currently renting from mom, working for mom, and > > > > typing at home. I am > > > > divorced and been with SO since 1997. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >From: abraxis3@... > > > > >Reply-To: > > > > >To: > > > > >Subject: Thanks! > > > > >Date: Thu, 10 May 2001 10:59:46 -0000 > > > > > > > > > >Finding the wonderful, welcoming messages when > > I > > > > signed on was such a > > > > >great lift! Its only recently that I've > > started > > > > receiving any > > > > >support on the home front. It's been pretty > > > > lonely. I've copied > > > > >some of the info from the fibromyalgia sites > > and > > > > had my husband read > > > > >it. It seemed that seeing the symptoms > > described > > > > on paper (that he's > > > > >heard me tell him about) finally registered..a > > > > little bit! It's hard > > > > >for people to understand things that they don't > > > > experience > > > > >themselves. He use to say that he just couldn't > > > > understand how I > > > > >could have such a 'low pain threshold'. After > > > > reading the medical > > > > >reasons why, he's no longer making comments > > that > > > > get him in trouble! > > > > >I wish I could talk on the 'chat', but I don't > > have > > > > access to a > > > > >computer at that time. > > > > > > > > > >Thanks again 'everyone' for the welcome. > > > > > > > > > > Sue > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >_________________________________________________________________ > > > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at > > > > http://explorer.msn.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >__________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2001 Report Share Posted May 13, 2001 Sue, Have fun! I've never even seen karaoke, let alone tried it...other than on tv. I love the part in " My Best Friend's Wedding... " LOL! If my ex had had to go away for days at a time, he may not be my ex..*HUGE GRIN*...I'm sorry you have to be alone, though. We're here if you need us, though. Actually, lately, I have been feeling superb, especially for me! If it weren't for my aches and pains, I'd think I was normal. Other than yesterday morning, I'm even able to get up without that jerky motion of the cricks and creaks. (If that makes sense...) Tomorrow I go see my physical therapist, and I am very excited! Hope you had a great time singing! Age: 34 Dx'd: early 1990s Location: southeastern Vermont Children: 1 four-legged furry one named Missy Siblings: 3 sisters, 1 brother (I am the youngest) Currently renting from mom, working for mom, and typing at home. I am divorced and been with SO since 1997. > >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Sun, 13 May 2001 12:17:17 -0700 (PDT) > > >--- s wrote: > > Sue, > > > > You're right, I don't tell people anything about how > > they feel. I do > > sometimes wonder why people get to park in the > > handicapped parking spot, and > > I don't (oh, that's right, no handicap sticker for > > me...lol), and when I > > have to have the cart at the car to hold myself up > > (you know those times > > when you it's not exhaustion or pain, but your brain > > won't tell your legs to > > go forward?)...and get myself through the store...I > > feel very lucky to have > > the SO that I have...he is very conscientious of the > > fact that sometimes I > > need that extra help... > > > > As a matter of fact, just a little story: just now > > he was going to shower, > > and he asked was it okay, and I said of course it > > was. He said, well I > > didn't know if you wanted me to do anything for you > > before I went. *SMILE* > > What a guy... > > > > > > >abraxis3@yahoo > >Hi ! > >Ya, I do know what you mean about your legs not >wanting >to go where they should and the times when they won't >even function. Every morning I get up and stumble >around and have a confrontation with the dresser >because I haven't gotten my 'walking legs' yet. When >I >go to the store I love that cart to lean on. I use to >worry about people looking at me, but it doesn't >matter anymore. I've fallen down the steps so many >times it isn't funny. I use to think it was my >eyesight, but now I know different. It takes over an >hour, in the morning, for my hands to quit tingling so >much and for them to feel half-way normal. I sit down >immediately, after carefully coming down the stairs, >and just get my bearings and weight for the brain fog >and everything else to lift. I use to cry about it, >but now I accept it as it is. I use to tell myself, >you're 'useless' and 'good for nothing', but that only >put me into a deeper depression. Now, I tell myself, > " this, too, shall pass " . Turn on the tv, pick up a >book or ponder on what the priorities are for my day, >and how best to accomplish them, without over-taxing >myself. Above all, the hardest thing for me to learn >was how to say 'no' and not feel 'guilty' about it. I >decided, that if I'm truly respected and appreciated, >I >can say 'no' and it's okay. If not...well, they'll >just have to get over it, or not! I have to do what's >'best' for me...now one else will, when it all comes >down to it! >I use to think that all of this was 'selfish', but it >really isn't. I'm thankful for the therapy I've had >in >the past, and wonderful programs like Oprah. >My husband had to read about my problems, and hear >them >from someone else, before he accepted them, and I did >feel some resentment about it; but he's gotten much >better since then. He, also, notices when I'm having >problems now and offers to help. The only problems is > >that his job takes him away. Sometimes I'm alone for >3 days at a time. I just try to have him do the >things >I know will need to be there for me during that time >before he goes. But I manage, and I try to keep >myself >busy. If it wasn't for my karaoke social life, I >don't >know what I would do. It keeps me sane! For some >people it's Bingo, etc. Sometimes (actually, most of >the time) I have to really force myself to get moving. >But when I get there..it's worth it! Things seem to >go >in slow-motion for me anymore. It takes me an hour >longer to fix my hair and make-up...but I do a good >job!! > >I hope your having one of your 'better' days today. >I'm going to sing again today, so I have to give >myself >a couple of hours to get ready!!! > >Take care! >Sue > > > > > > > > > >Reply-To: > > >To: > > >Subject: Re: Thanks! > > >Date: Sun, 13 May 2001 04:04:04 -0700 (PDT) > > > > > > > > >--- s wrote: > > > > Sue, > > > > > > > > Even now, I still often have a hard time knowing > > how > > > > other people feel about > > > > their own aches and pains, you'd think we'd be > > more > > > > attuned to it, but I > > > > guess it doesn't work that way (either that, or > > it's > > > > just me...) > > > > > > >, > > > > > >I'm sure you don't tell them that they don't have a > > >right to feel the way they do, and that you respect > > >them. I don't know quite how someone else feels > > >either. Others can be in a worse condition than I > > am, > > >I'm sure. There's no way of knowing...my reality > > is > > >my > > >own, and their's is their's. So, it's not just > > you. > > >Maybe someday we'll all be telepathic, but it > > hasn't > > >happened yet! > > > > > >Have a great day! > > > > > >Sue > > > > > > > > > > > Age: 34 > > > > Dx'd: early 1990s > > > > Location: southeastern Vermont > > > > Children: 1 four-legged furry one named Missy > > > > Siblings: 3 sisters, 1 brother (I am the > > youngest) > > > > Currently renting from mom, working for mom, and > > > > typing at home. I am > > > > divorced and been with SO since 1997. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >From: abraxis3@... > > > > >Reply-To: > > > > >To: > > > > >Subject: Thanks! > > > > >Date: Thu, 10 May 2001 10:59:46 -0000 > > > > > > > > > >Finding the wonderful, welcoming messages when > > I > > > > signed on was such a > > > > >great lift! Its only recently that I've > > started > > > > receiving any > > > > >support on the home front. It's been pretty > > > > lonely. I've copied > > > > >some of the info from the fibromyalgia sites > > and > > > > had my husband read > > > > >it. It seemed that seeing the symptoms > > described > > > > on paper (that he's > > > > >heard me tell him about) finally registered..a > > > > little bit! It's hard > > > > >for people to understand things that they don't > > > > experience > > > > >themselves. He use to say that he just couldn't > > > > understand how I > > > > >could have such a 'low pain threshold'. After > > > > reading the medical > > > > >reasons why, he's no longer making comments > > that > > > > get him in trouble! > > > > >I wish I could talk on the 'chat', but I don't > > have > > > > access to a > > > > >computer at that time. > > > > > > > > > >Thanks again 'everyone' for the welcome. > > > > > > > > > > Sue > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >_________________________________________________________________ > > > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at > > > > http://explorer.msn.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >__________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2001 Report Share Posted May 13, 2001 Sue, Have fun! I've never even seen karaoke, let alone tried it...other than on tv. I love the part in " My Best Friend's Wedding... " LOL! If my ex had had to go away for days at a time, he may not be my ex..*HUGE GRIN*...I'm sorry you have to be alone, though. We're here if you need us, though. Actually, lately, I have been feeling superb, especially for me! If it weren't for my aches and pains, I'd think I was normal. Other than yesterday morning, I'm even able to get up without that jerky motion of the cricks and creaks. (If that makes sense...) Tomorrow I go see my physical therapist, and I am very excited! Hope you had a great time singing! Age: 34 Dx'd: early 1990s Location: southeastern Vermont Children: 1 four-legged furry one named Missy Siblings: 3 sisters, 1 brother (I am the youngest) Currently renting from mom, working for mom, and typing at home. I am divorced and been with SO since 1997. > >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Sun, 13 May 2001 12:17:17 -0700 (PDT) > > >--- s wrote: > > Sue, > > > > You're right, I don't tell people anything about how > > they feel. I do > > sometimes wonder why people get to park in the > > handicapped parking spot, and > > I don't (oh, that's right, no handicap sticker for > > me...lol), and when I > > have to have the cart at the car to hold myself up > > (you know those times > > when you it's not exhaustion or pain, but your brain > > won't tell your legs to > > go forward?)...and get myself through the store...I > > feel very lucky to have > > the SO that I have...he is very conscientious of the > > fact that sometimes I > > need that extra help... > > > > As a matter of fact, just a little story: just now > > he was going to shower, > > and he asked was it okay, and I said of course it > > was. He said, well I > > didn't know if you wanted me to do anything for you > > before I went. *SMILE* > > What a guy... > > > > > > >abraxis3@yahoo > >Hi ! > >Ya, I do know what you mean about your legs not >wanting >to go where they should and the times when they won't >even function. Every morning I get up and stumble >around and have a confrontation with the dresser >because I haven't gotten my 'walking legs' yet. When >I >go to the store I love that cart to lean on. I use to >worry about people looking at me, but it doesn't >matter anymore. I've fallen down the steps so many >times it isn't funny. I use to think it was my >eyesight, but now I know different. It takes over an >hour, in the morning, for my hands to quit tingling so >much and for them to feel half-way normal. I sit down >immediately, after carefully coming down the stairs, >and just get my bearings and weight for the brain fog >and everything else to lift. I use to cry about it, >but now I accept it as it is. I use to tell myself, >you're 'useless' and 'good for nothing', but that only >put me into a deeper depression. Now, I tell myself, > " this, too, shall pass " . Turn on the tv, pick up a >book or ponder on what the priorities are for my day, >and how best to accomplish them, without over-taxing >myself. Above all, the hardest thing for me to learn >was how to say 'no' and not feel 'guilty' about it. I >decided, that if I'm truly respected and appreciated, >I >can say 'no' and it's okay. If not...well, they'll >just have to get over it, or not! I have to do what's >'best' for me...now one else will, when it all comes >down to it! >I use to think that all of this was 'selfish', but it >really isn't. I'm thankful for the therapy I've had >in >the past, and wonderful programs like Oprah. >My husband had to read about my problems, and hear >them >from someone else, before he accepted them, and I did >feel some resentment about it; but he's gotten much >better since then. He, also, notices when I'm having >problems now and offers to help. The only problems is > >that his job takes him away. Sometimes I'm alone for >3 days at a time. I just try to have him do the >things >I know will need to be there for me during that time >before he goes. But I manage, and I try to keep >myself >busy. If it wasn't for my karaoke social life, I >don't >know what I would do. It keeps me sane! For some >people it's Bingo, etc. Sometimes (actually, most of >the time) I have to really force myself to get moving. >But when I get there..it's worth it! Things seem to >go >in slow-motion for me anymore. It takes me an hour >longer to fix my hair and make-up...but I do a good >job!! > >I hope your having one of your 'better' days today. >I'm going to sing again today, so I have to give >myself >a couple of hours to get ready!!! > >Take care! >Sue > > > > > > > > > >Reply-To: > > >To: > > >Subject: Re: Thanks! > > >Date: Sun, 13 May 2001 04:04:04 -0700 (PDT) > > > > > > > > >--- s wrote: > > > > Sue, > > > > > > > > Even now, I still often have a hard time knowing > > how > > > > other people feel about > > > > their own aches and pains, you'd think we'd be > > more > > > > attuned to it, but I > > > > guess it doesn't work that way (either that, or > > it's > > > > just me...) > > > > > > >, > > > > > >I'm sure you don't tell them that they don't have a > > >right to feel the way they do, and that you respect > > >them. I don't know quite how someone else feels > > >either. Others can be in a worse condition than I > > am, > > >I'm sure. There's no way of knowing...my reality > > is > > >my > > >own, and their's is their's. So, it's not just > > you. > > >Maybe someday we'll all be telepathic, but it > > hasn't > > >happened yet! > > > > > >Have a great day! > > > > > >Sue > > > > > > > > > > > Age: 34 > > > > Dx'd: early 1990s > > > > Location: southeastern Vermont > > > > Children: 1 four-legged furry one named Missy > > > > Siblings: 3 sisters, 1 brother (I am the > > youngest) > > > > Currently renting from mom, working for mom, and > > > > typing at home. I am > > > > divorced and been with SO since 1997. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >From: abraxis3@... > > > > >Reply-To: > > > > >To: > > > > >Subject: Thanks! > > > > >Date: Thu, 10 May 2001 10:59:46 -0000 > > > > > > > > > >Finding the wonderful, welcoming messages when > > I > > > > signed on was such a > > > > >great lift! Its only recently that I've > > started > > > > receiving any > > > > >support on the home front. It's been pretty > > > > lonely. I've copied > > > > >some of the info from the fibromyalgia sites > > and > > > > had my husband read > > > > >it. It seemed that seeing the symptoms > > described > > > > on paper (that he's > > > > >heard me tell him about) finally registered..a > > > > little bit! It's hard > > > > >for people to understand things that they don't > > > > experience > > > > >themselves. He use to say that he just couldn't > > > > understand how I > > > > >could have such a 'low pain threshold'. After > > > > reading the medical > > > > >reasons why, he's no longer making comments > > that > > > > get him in trouble! > > > > >I wish I could talk on the 'chat', but I don't > > have > > > > access to a > > > > >computer at that time. > > > > > > > > > >Thanks again 'everyone' for the welcome. > > > > > > > > > > Sue > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >_________________________________________________________________ > > > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at > > > > http://explorer.msn.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >__________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2001 Report Share Posted May 13, 2001 , I agree we shouldt be more tuned in with how other peoples pain levels are. And how they cope. This weekend has been horrible for me. My legs were spasming so bad, everyone' of my muscles was screaming with pain. It has and still is a horrible weekend with pain. I have so many doctors to go to this week . I have to see the surgeon and schedule surgery on my arm for the nerve damage. The arm has shooting pain going through it. Stress sure plays a big part in this illness. I have tried to educate my mother about fibro. She has come to doctor's with me and has asked her own doctor about it and they all tell her that it is a very painful muscle illness, she has tons of material to read and yesterday when I was at my wits end with the pain, she called me and told me I was not a good daughter because I didn't come over everyday and take her places. I can't even drive if my legs are going crazy. Then today she calls me and told me that she believes in fibro because she was watching home shopping club and a lady with fibro bought a feather bed and said it helped her and that made her believe in it. I suppose you could laugh at it , she is 78yrs. but I was hurt. I am no longer going to try to explain fibro to anyone. I am so sick and tired of even my friends not believing in it. I have dissmised a lot of friends and don't bother with them because they doubt me all the time. I'm sick of people doubting my pain and I'm through with tring to explain it. Love ya Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2001 Report Share Posted May 13, 2001 , I agree we shouldt be more tuned in with how other peoples pain levels are. And how they cope. This weekend has been horrible for me. My legs were spasming so bad, everyone' of my muscles was screaming with pain. It has and still is a horrible weekend with pain. I have so many doctors to go to this week . I have to see the surgeon and schedule surgery on my arm for the nerve damage. The arm has shooting pain going through it. Stress sure plays a big part in this illness. I have tried to educate my mother about fibro. She has come to doctor's with me and has asked her own doctor about it and they all tell her that it is a very painful muscle illness, she has tons of material to read and yesterday when I was at my wits end with the pain, she called me and told me I was not a good daughter because I didn't come over everyday and take her places. I can't even drive if my legs are going crazy. Then today she calls me and told me that she believes in fibro because she was watching home shopping club and a lady with fibro bought a feather bed and said it helped her and that made her believe in it. I suppose you could laugh at it , she is 78yrs. but I was hurt. I am no longer going to try to explain fibro to anyone. I am so sick and tired of even my friends not believing in it. I have dissmised a lot of friends and don't bother with them because they doubt me all the time. I'm sick of people doubting my pain and I'm through with tring to explain it. Love ya Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2001 Report Share Posted May 13, 2001 , I agree we shouldt be more tuned in with how other peoples pain levels are. And how they cope. This weekend has been horrible for me. My legs were spasming so bad, everyone' of my muscles was screaming with pain. It has and still is a horrible weekend with pain. I have so many doctors to go to this week . I have to see the surgeon and schedule surgery on my arm for the nerve damage. The arm has shooting pain going through it. Stress sure plays a big part in this illness. I have tried to educate my mother about fibro. She has come to doctor's with me and has asked her own doctor about it and they all tell her that it is a very painful muscle illness, she has tons of material to read and yesterday when I was at my wits end with the pain, she called me and told me I was not a good daughter because I didn't come over everyday and take her places. I can't even drive if my legs are going crazy. Then today she calls me and told me that she believes in fibro because she was watching home shopping club and a lady with fibro bought a feather bed and said it helped her and that made her believe in it. I suppose you could laugh at it , she is 78yrs. but I was hurt. I am no longer going to try to explain fibro to anyone. I am so sick and tired of even my friends not believing in it. I have dissmised a lot of friends and don't bother with them because they doubt me all the time. I'm sick of people doubting my pain and I'm through with tring to explain it. Love ya Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 --- faydra913@... wrote: > , > I agree we shouldt be more tuned in with how > other peoples pain levels > are. And how they cope. This weekend has been > horrible for me. My legs > were spasming so bad, everyone' of my muscles was > screaming with pain. It > has and still is a horrible weekend with pain. I > have so many doctors to go > to this week . I have to see the surgeon and > schedule surgery on my arm for > the nerve damage. The arm has shooting pain going > through it. Stress sure > plays a big part in this illness. I have tried to > educate my mother about > fibro. She has come to doctor's with me and has > asked her own doctor about > it and they all tell her that it is a very painful > muscle illness, she has > tons of material to read and yesterday when I was at > my wits end with the > pain, she called me and told me I was not a good > daughter because I didn't > come over everyday and take her places. I can't > even drive if my legs are > going crazy. Then today she calls me and told me > that she believes in fibro > because she was watching home shopping club and a > lady with fibro bought a > feather bed and said it helped her and that made her > believe in it. I > suppose you could laugh at it , she is 78yrs. but I > was hurt. I am no longer > going to try to explain fibro to anyone. I am so > sick and tired of even my > friends not believing in it. I have dissmised a lot > of friends and don't > bother with them because they doubt me all the time. > I'm sick of people > doubting my pain and I'm through with tring to > explain it. > Love ya > > Kathy D. > Diagnosed in 98 > Live in Western Massachusetts > Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart > Mother to 16 and 14 > My Rottie dog Shelby > Spooky the cat > Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer > Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader > >Hi Kathy, This is Sue. I just wanted to tell you that I've had the same problem with my husband. I recently discovered the websites on Fibro and I copied so much stuff. One of them had an article for relatives and friends, and I made my husband read it and then discuss it with me. He's done a big turn around. I've lost friends over this,too. I guess I shouldn't say " lost " ...rather, went my own way...I didn't lose anything, because they weren't my friends to begin with. " Friends " are there to " give " , not just receive. I still tell people about it, and I don't expect anything from them. If they are interested, I tell them about it. I have found that I've been meeting people who have it, and don't know it. When we exchange info about ourselves, they are so relieved to find out that " just maybe it isn't all in their heads after all! " They know to find a rheumitologist and get diagnosed. It ends the senseless trips to doctors who don't have a clue! As for your mother...if she has some belief that you are just trying to get out of helping her, there's nothing you can say or do that will ever convince her otherwise. My mother would say she understood one time, and forget about it the next. Of course, all she ever did was criticize me. Sometimes you just have to demand respect. You tell her that it hurts you, if she does it again, and that if she's going to continue to treat you like this, she'll just have to find someone else to do it permanently, so that you don't have to have these misunderstandings anymore. Tell her you've decided that you don't need the stress it creates, and stick to your guns. You never have to be nasty about it to be assertive. Always say " how " you feel (so that she can't assume anything), why you feel that way (so that you take responsibility for your own feelings and there's no question), and what you intend to do about it from here on out (for yourself), and that you're sorry if it doesn't please her, but that you deserve to treated the same way she wants to be treated...with respect! And it's disrespectful to imply that you aren't telling the truth. It will give her something to think about! I learned all of this in therapy. If I can find the paper I'm thinking of regarding this sort of thing, I'm going to post it on the site. Chin up...don't let ANYONE get you down! Sue > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Kathy, Sorry it took me so long to respond. I was concerned that my mother might call. Now, if you want to talk about mothers, I can talk about MY mother...LOL...my other group helps me often with her, she is just so...so...I don't even know what! DOH! The one thing I will tell you here is that she has no clue about my pain, but a friend of hers, who has FMS, now *she* is in pain, don't ya know...me? I'm supposed to dust when she asks me to, no questions asked. The other thing I will tell you is that the people from my other group (fibro-crochet) help me deal with my mother all the time... Anyway, I hope you are feeling a bit better, even if just knowing that within the next 12 hours I will have slept, and gone to see my Debbie. That's what I call her...My Debbie...my physical therapist...LOL....have you seen the commercial for theraflu? or something like that? Guy is sick in bed...singing debbie debbie debbie debbie...lol...that's me, singing about My Debbie...*GRIN* I will catch up with you in the a.m. *hugz* >From: faydra913@... >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Sun, 13 May 2001 21:01:48 EDT > >, > I agree we shouldt be more tuned in with how other peoples pain levels >are. And how they cope. This weekend has been horrible for me. My legs >were spasming so bad, everyone' of my muscles was screaming with pain. It >has and still is a horrible weekend with pain. I have so many doctors to >go >to this week . I have to see the surgeon and schedule surgery on my arm >for >the nerve damage. The arm has shooting pain going through it. Stress sure >plays a big part in this illness. I have tried to educate my mother about >fibro. She has come to doctor's with me and has asked her own doctor about >it and they all tell her that it is a very painful muscle illness, she has >tons of material to read and yesterday when I was at my wits end with the >pain, she called me and told me I was not a good daughter because I didn't >come over everyday and take her places. I can't even drive if my legs are >going crazy. Then today she calls me and told me that she believes in >fibro >because she was watching home shopping club and a lady with fibro bought a >feather bed and said it helped her and that made her believe in it. I >suppose you could laugh at it , she is 78yrs. but I was hurt. I am no >longer >going to try to explain fibro to anyone. I am so sick and tired of even my >friends not believing in it. I have dissmised a lot of friends and don't >bother with them because they doubt me all the time. I'm sick of people >doubting my pain and I'm through with tring to explain it. > Love ya > >Kathy D. >Diagnosed in 98 >Live in Western Massachusetts >Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart >Mother to 16 and 14 >My Rottie dog Shelby >Spooky the cat >Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer > Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Sue, Thanks for the words of wisdom. I go to therapy to learn how to deal and help others deal with the fact that I am no longer the person I was. My family understands, especially, hubby. He sends me a e-mail every day with something he found on the computer about fibro. He's always trying to help. But I have tried many times to be asserative with my mom. She's sick and old and she thinks no-one is in the pain that she is in. I love her dearly, but she has always tried to make me feel badly, and when i confront her she says I'm too sensative or she cries and tells me she's having a heart attack. There is a lot of guilt with my relationship with her. She has no one but me. My sister's died a brother and my dad, so she is all alone ,and I have a great family, so sometimes I think it's best to just bite my lip with her. I don't bite my lip with others, I am sick of my so called friends not believing this too. Lately I just hang out with my hubby cause he is the most supportive with all this stuff. Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Sue, Thanks for the words of wisdom. I go to therapy to learn how to deal and help others deal with the fact that I am no longer the person I was. My family understands, especially, hubby. He sends me a e-mail every day with something he found on the computer about fibro. He's always trying to help. But I have tried many times to be asserative with my mom. She's sick and old and she thinks no-one is in the pain that she is in. I love her dearly, but she has always tried to make me feel badly, and when i confront her she says I'm too sensative or she cries and tells me she's having a heart attack. There is a lot of guilt with my relationship with her. She has no one but me. My sister's died a brother and my dad, so she is all alone ,and I have a great family, so sometimes I think it's best to just bite my lip with her. I don't bite my lip with others, I am sick of my so called friends not believing this too. Lately I just hang out with my hubby cause he is the most supportive with all this stuff. Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Sue, Thanks for the words of wisdom. I go to therapy to learn how to deal and help others deal with the fact that I am no longer the person I was. My family understands, especially, hubby. He sends me a e-mail every day with something he found on the computer about fibro. He's always trying to help. But I have tried many times to be asserative with my mom. She's sick and old and she thinks no-one is in the pain that she is in. I love her dearly, but she has always tried to make me feel badly, and when i confront her she says I'm too sensative or she cries and tells me she's having a heart attack. There is a lot of guilt with my relationship with her. She has no one but me. My sister's died a brother and my dad, so she is all alone ,and I have a great family, so sometimes I think it's best to just bite my lip with her. I don't bite my lip with others, I am sick of my so called friends not believing this too. Lately I just hang out with my hubby cause he is the most supportive with all this stuff. Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 , How come some of our mother's just don't get it. If one of my daughter's had this I would try to help in every way I knew how even though I'm sick too. I would NEVER dismiss my kids pain. Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 , How come some of our mother's just don't get it. If one of my daughter's had this I would try to help in every way I knew how even though I'm sick too. I would NEVER dismiss my kids pain. Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 , I insist! I need another heart attack comment.lol. We need to know we're not alone. Right? Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 , I insist! I need another heart attack comment.lol. We need to know we're not alone. Right? Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 , I insist! I need another heart attack comment.lol. We need to know we're not alone. Right? Kathy D. Diagnosed in 98 Live in Western Massachusetts Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart Mother to 16 and 14 My Rottie dog Shelby Spooky the cat Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Kathy, Just gotta butt in here...I could really go to town on that " I'm having a heart attack " comment, but I won't. Unless you insist...lol >From: faydra913@... >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 12:24:22 EDT > >Sue, Thanks for the words of wisdom. I go to therapy to learn how to deal >and help others deal with the fact that I am no longer the person I was. >My >family understands, especially, hubby. He sends me a e-mail every day with >something he found on the computer about fibro. He's always trying to >help. >But I have tried many times to be asserative with my mom. She's sick and >old >and she thinks no-one is in the pain that she is in. I love her dearly, >but >she has always tried to make me feel badly, and when i confront her she >says >I'm too sensative or she cries and tells me she's having a heart attack. >There is a lot of guilt with my relationship with her. She has no one but >me. My sister's died a brother and my dad, so she is all alone ,and I >have >a great family, so sometimes I think it's best to just bite my lip with >her. >I don't bite my lip with others, I am sick of my so called friends not >believing this too. Lately I just hang out with my hubby cause he is the >most supportive with all this stuff. > >Kathy D. >Diagnosed in 98 >Live in Western Massachusetts >Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart >Mother to 16 and 14 >My Rottie dog Shelby >Spooky the cat >Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer > Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Kathy, Just gotta butt in here...I could really go to town on that " I'm having a heart attack " comment, but I won't. Unless you insist...lol >From: faydra913@... >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 12:24:22 EDT > >Sue, Thanks for the words of wisdom. I go to therapy to learn how to deal >and help others deal with the fact that I am no longer the person I was. >My >family understands, especially, hubby. He sends me a e-mail every day with >something he found on the computer about fibro. He's always trying to >help. >But I have tried many times to be asserative with my mom. She's sick and >old >and she thinks no-one is in the pain that she is in. I love her dearly, >but >she has always tried to make me feel badly, and when i confront her she >says >I'm too sensative or she cries and tells me she's having a heart attack. >There is a lot of guilt with my relationship with her. She has no one but >me. My sister's died a brother and my dad, so she is all alone ,and I >have >a great family, so sometimes I think it's best to just bite my lip with >her. >I don't bite my lip with others, I am sick of my so called friends not >believing this too. Lately I just hang out with my hubby cause he is the >most supportive with all this stuff. > >Kathy D. >Diagnosed in 98 >Live in Western Massachusetts >Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart >Mother to 16 and 14 >My Rottie dog Shelby >Spooky the cat >Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer > Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Kathy, Just gotta butt in here...I could really go to town on that " I'm having a heart attack " comment, but I won't. Unless you insist...lol >From: faydra913@... >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 12:24:22 EDT > >Sue, Thanks for the words of wisdom. I go to therapy to learn how to deal >and help others deal with the fact that I am no longer the person I was. >My >family understands, especially, hubby. He sends me a e-mail every day with >something he found on the computer about fibro. He's always trying to >help. >But I have tried many times to be asserative with my mom. She's sick and >old >and she thinks no-one is in the pain that she is in. I love her dearly, >but >she has always tried to make me feel badly, and when i confront her she >says >I'm too sensative or she cries and tells me she's having a heart attack. >There is a lot of guilt with my relationship with her. She has no one but >me. My sister's died a brother and my dad, so she is all alone ,and I >have >a great family, so sometimes I think it's best to just bite my lip with >her. >I don't bite my lip with others, I am sick of my so called friends not >believing this too. Lately I just hang out with my hubby cause he is the >most supportive with all this stuff. > >Kathy D. >Diagnosed in 98 >Live in Western Massachusetts >Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart >Mother to 16 and 14 >My Rottie dog Shelby >Spooky the cat >Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer > Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Kathy, My mother is clueless, period. *shrug* The one time she realized I was in pain was last November, I was vacuuming and my back went out...muscle spasmed itself to ... to timbucktoo...LOL...I could hardly move for days, finally got a bit more mobile after a week. Although, when I took a two minute shower, she said, " Oh, you're done already? If that were me I'd stand under the hot water for a long time. " And I just blew it off, but now that I think of it, uh....mother...it...hurt...LOL >From: faydra913@... >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 12:28:24 EDT > >, > How come some of our mother's just don't get it. If one of my >daughter's >had this I would try to help in every way I knew how even though I'm sick >too. I would NEVER dismiss my kids pain. > >Kathy D. >Diagnosed in 98 >Live in Western Massachusetts >Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart >Mother to 16 and 14 >My Rottie dog Shelby >Spooky the cat >Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer > Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Kathy, My mother is clueless, period. *shrug* The one time she realized I was in pain was last November, I was vacuuming and my back went out...muscle spasmed itself to ... to timbucktoo...LOL...I could hardly move for days, finally got a bit more mobile after a week. Although, when I took a two minute shower, she said, " Oh, you're done already? If that were me I'd stand under the hot water for a long time. " And I just blew it off, but now that I think of it, uh....mother...it...hurt...LOL >From: faydra913@... >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 12:28:24 EDT > >, > How come some of our mother's just don't get it. If one of my >daughter's >had this I would try to help in every way I knew how even though I'm sick >too. I would NEVER dismiss my kids pain. > >Kathy D. >Diagnosed in 98 >Live in Western Massachusetts >Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart >Mother to 16 and 14 >My Rottie dog Shelby >Spooky the cat >Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer > Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 Kathy, My mother is clueless, period. *shrug* The one time she realized I was in pain was last November, I was vacuuming and my back went out...muscle spasmed itself to ... to timbucktoo...LOL...I could hardly move for days, finally got a bit more mobile after a week. Although, when I took a two minute shower, she said, " Oh, you're done already? If that were me I'd stand under the hot water for a long time. " And I just blew it off, but now that I think of it, uh....mother...it...hurt...LOL >From: faydra913@... >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: Re: Thanks! >Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 12:28:24 EDT > >, > How come some of our mother's just don't get it. If one of my >daughter's >had this I would try to help in every way I knew how even though I'm sick >too. I would NEVER dismiss my kids pain. > >Kathy D. >Diagnosed in 98 >Live in Western Massachusetts >Married for almost 19yrs, to a sweetheart >Mother to 16 and 14 >My Rottie dog Shelby >Spooky the cat >Hobbies: Boating, Learning this computer > Arts & Crafts, and a passionate reader > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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