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Could someone please let me know a good book for beginners. I don't think my

soap making is getting off to a good start. Nothing is turning out. I'm

making my own basic soap out of Crisco, olive oil, coconut oil, and water and

lye. Is this a good recipe for basic soap?

Dianne

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Guest guest

Could someone please let me know a good book for beginners. I don't think my

soap making is getting off to a good start. Nothing is turning out. I'm

making my own basic soap out of Crisco, olive oil, coconut oil, and water and

lye. Is this a good recipe for basic soap?

Dianne

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Guest guest

Could someone please let me know a good book for beginners. I don't think my

soap making is getting off to a good start. Nothing is turning out. I'm

making my own basic soap out of Crisco, olive oil, coconut oil, and water and

lye. Is this a good recipe for basic soap?

Dianne

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Guest guest

Diane,

That is fine for a basic soap. That is what I used for months.

A good basic book would be The Natural soapbook, by Cavitch,

and her follow up The Soapmaker Companion.

May I have not seen it yet, maybe you have posted, but to help we need to

know your soapmaking temps, the kind of water you are using, and how you are

stiring your soap.

I wil look for some other posts from you, I'm reading " hit and miss " here

Sherry in Aberdeen

Re: need help

>Could someone please let me know a good book for beginners. I don't think

my

>soap making is getting off to a good start. Nothing is turning out. I'm

>making my own basic soap out of Crisco, olive oil, coconut oil, and water

and

>lye. Is this a good recipe for basic soap?

> Dianne

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Your high school sweetheart-where is he now? With 4.4 million alumni

>already registered at Classmates.com, there's a good chance you'll

>find her here. Visit your online high school class reunion at:

>http://click./1/3139/0/_/533249/_/956723703/

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>Check out our homepage at

http://www.angelfire.com/mi/Soapmaking101/index.html

>

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Guest guest

Sherry

thanks for responding I'm getting so frustrated with this. I use

distilled water, and I bring both temps down to 100 before I mix together. I

use a hard plastic spoon to stir. My basic soap is turning out great ( I

think ) but when I remelt it and add ingredients my soap comes out real soft,

each mold the soap looks different. One batch I added cucumber and liquid

benzoin. I had to throw that batch out. It smelled terrible the next batch I

only added water and vitamin E. and that batch I still have but it looks

funny. I will look for those books today when I'm out and about. Thanks for

you help and if you see something that I'm doing wrong please let me know.

Dianne

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Guest guest

Sherry

thanks for responding I'm getting so frustrated with this. I use

distilled water, and I bring both temps down to 100 before I mix together. I

use a hard plastic spoon to stir. My basic soap is turning out great ( I

think ) but when I remelt it and add ingredients my soap comes out real soft,

each mold the soap looks different. One batch I added cucumber and liquid

benzoin. I had to throw that batch out. It smelled terrible the next batch I

only added water and vitamin E. and that batch I still have but it looks

funny. I will look for those books today when I'm out and about. Thanks for

you help and if you see something that I'm doing wrong please let me know.

Dianne

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Guest guest

Sherry

thanks for responding I'm getting so frustrated with this. I use

distilled water, and I bring both temps down to 100 before I mix together. I

use a hard plastic spoon to stir. My basic soap is turning out great ( I

think ) but when I remelt it and add ingredients my soap comes out real soft,

each mold the soap looks different. One batch I added cucumber and liquid

benzoin. I had to throw that batch out. It smelled terrible the next batch I

only added water and vitamin E. and that batch I still have but it looks

funny. I will look for those books today when I'm out and about. Thanks for

you help and if you see something that I'm doing wrong please let me know.

Dianne

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Guest guest

I agree that both books by Cavitch are wonderful! The only

complaint I have with her first book, The Natural Soap Book, is that all the

recipes are huge for a beginner. And, in order to cut them down, you need

to run them through a lye calculator and let's face it. Did anyone know

what a lye calculator was when they were beginning? Not this gal.

I liked The Soapmakers Companion as it did list the smaller batch. I find I

use that book more frequently than the first.

However, it may be smart to get both. *shrugging shoulders*

If, however, you only get the first and need help making a recipe smaller

than listed, just holler. I'm sure any one of us would be more than happy

to help.

Also, I really enjoyed Melinda Coss' book The Handmade Soap Book. It was my

bible for a long time.

~

..:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.

A Garden of Soap: http://www.GardenofSoap.com

A Place for Tulips: http://Tulips.tripod.com

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Guest guest

I agree that both books by Cavitch are wonderful! The only

complaint I have with her first book, The Natural Soap Book, is that all the

recipes are huge for a beginner. And, in order to cut them down, you need

to run them through a lye calculator and let's face it. Did anyone know

what a lye calculator was when they were beginning? Not this gal.

I liked The Soapmakers Companion as it did list the smaller batch. I find I

use that book more frequently than the first.

However, it may be smart to get both. *shrugging shoulders*

If, however, you only get the first and need help making a recipe smaller

than listed, just holler. I'm sure any one of us would be more than happy

to help.

Also, I really enjoyed Melinda Coss' book The Handmade Soap Book. It was my

bible for a long time.

~

..:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.

A Garden of Soap: http://www.GardenofSoap.com

A Place for Tulips: http://Tulips.tripod.com

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

,

I like both SMC books. I read " the campanion " book first and got sooooo

frustrated because in this small town the ingredients didn't exist. I

reverted back to norma Coney and rebatch, and then found The natural soap

book, which BTW watch out because those recipes are all 15% superfat.

I started out making 8 lb batches, couldn't figure for the longest time why

anyone would want to make 2 lbs of soap, lol. Now I do that lots, and I

agree those are large recipes for beginners. Hey, , get to writing.

<VBG>

I think either book would do, I am just one who wants them all. I enjoy the

different approaches, recipes methods. I used to think " I'll neve rmake

my own reicpes, too scary, LOL, now I make them all the time and I love it.

I'm a " slow starter type " , just stick my toes in, I'm not one to hold my

nose and jump in the water, so to speak.

Guess it is time for me to buy Melinda Cross, almost did once but thought it

was all rebatching, so didn't, kicking myself.

Sherry in Aberdeen

Re: need help

>I agree that both books by Cavitch are wonderful! The only

>complaint I have with her first book, The Natural Soap Book, is that all

the

>recipes are huge for a beginner. And, in order to cut them down, you need

>to run them through a lye calculator and let's face it. Did anyone know

>what a lye calculator was when they were beginning? Not this gal.

>

>I liked The Soapmakers Companion as it did list the smaller batch. I find

I

>use that book more frequently than the first.

>

>However, it may be smart to get both. *shrugging shoulders*

>

>If, however, you only get the first and need help making a recipe smaller

>than listed, just holler. I'm sure any one of us would be more than happy

>to help.

>

>Also, I really enjoyed Melinda Coss' book The Handmade Soap Book. It was

my

>bible for a long time.

>

>~

>.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.

>A Garden of Soap: http://www.GardenofSoap.com

>A Place for Tulips: http://Tulips.tripod.com

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Good friends, school spirit, hair-dos you'd like to forget.

>Classmates.com has them all. And with 4.4 million alumni already

>registered, there's a good chance you'll find your friends here:

>http://click./1/2886/0/_/533249/_/956758632/

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>Check out our homepage at

http://www.angelfire.com/mi/Soapmaking101/index.html

>

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

,

I like both SMC books. I read " the campanion " book first and got sooooo

frustrated because in this small town the ingredients didn't exist. I

reverted back to norma Coney and rebatch, and then found The natural soap

book, which BTW watch out because those recipes are all 15% superfat.

I started out making 8 lb batches, couldn't figure for the longest time why

anyone would want to make 2 lbs of soap, lol. Now I do that lots, and I

agree those are large recipes for beginners. Hey, , get to writing.

<VBG>

I think either book would do, I am just one who wants them all. I enjoy the

different approaches, recipes methods. I used to think " I'll neve rmake

my own reicpes, too scary, LOL, now I make them all the time and I love it.

I'm a " slow starter type " , just stick my toes in, I'm not one to hold my

nose and jump in the water, so to speak.

Guess it is time for me to buy Melinda Cross, almost did once but thought it

was all rebatching, so didn't, kicking myself.

Sherry in Aberdeen

Re: need help

>I agree that both books by Cavitch are wonderful! The only

>complaint I have with her first book, The Natural Soap Book, is that all

the

>recipes are huge for a beginner. And, in order to cut them down, you need

>to run them through a lye calculator and let's face it. Did anyone know

>what a lye calculator was when they were beginning? Not this gal.

>

>I liked The Soapmakers Companion as it did list the smaller batch. I find

I

>use that book more frequently than the first.

>

>However, it may be smart to get both. *shrugging shoulders*

>

>If, however, you only get the first and need help making a recipe smaller

>than listed, just holler. I'm sure any one of us would be more than happy

>to help.

>

>Also, I really enjoyed Melinda Coss' book The Handmade Soap Book. It was

my

>bible for a long time.

>

>~

>.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.

>A Garden of Soap: http://www.GardenofSoap.com

>A Place for Tulips: http://Tulips.tripod.com

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Good friends, school spirit, hair-dos you'd like to forget.

>Classmates.com has them all. And with 4.4 million alumni already

>registered, there's a good chance you'll find your friends here:

>http://click./1/2886/0/_/533249/_/956758632/

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>Check out our homepage at

http://www.angelfire.com/mi/Soapmaking101/index.html

>

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

,

I like both SMC books. I read " the campanion " book first and got sooooo

frustrated because in this small town the ingredients didn't exist. I

reverted back to norma Coney and rebatch, and then found The natural soap

book, which BTW watch out because those recipes are all 15% superfat.

I started out making 8 lb batches, couldn't figure for the longest time why

anyone would want to make 2 lbs of soap, lol. Now I do that lots, and I

agree those are large recipes for beginners. Hey, , get to writing.

<VBG>

I think either book would do, I am just one who wants them all. I enjoy the

different approaches, recipes methods. I used to think " I'll neve rmake

my own reicpes, too scary, LOL, now I make them all the time and I love it.

I'm a " slow starter type " , just stick my toes in, I'm not one to hold my

nose and jump in the water, so to speak.

Guess it is time for me to buy Melinda Cross, almost did once but thought it

was all rebatching, so didn't, kicking myself.

Sherry in Aberdeen

Re: need help

>I agree that both books by Cavitch are wonderful! The only

>complaint I have with her first book, The Natural Soap Book, is that all

the

>recipes are huge for a beginner. And, in order to cut them down, you need

>to run them through a lye calculator and let's face it. Did anyone know

>what a lye calculator was when they were beginning? Not this gal.

>

>I liked The Soapmakers Companion as it did list the smaller batch. I find

I

>use that book more frequently than the first.

>

>However, it may be smart to get both. *shrugging shoulders*

>

>If, however, you only get the first and need help making a recipe smaller

>than listed, just holler. I'm sure any one of us would be more than happy

>to help.

>

>Also, I really enjoyed Melinda Coss' book The Handmade Soap Book. It was

my

>bible for a long time.

>

>~

>.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.

>A Garden of Soap: http://www.GardenofSoap.com

>A Place for Tulips: http://Tulips.tripod.com

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Good friends, school spirit, hair-dos you'd like to forget.

>Classmates.com has them all. And with 4.4 million alumni already

>registered, there's a good chance you'll find your friends here:

>http://click./1/2886/0/_/533249/_/956758632/

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>Check out our homepage at

http://www.angelfire.com/mi/Soapmaking101/index.html

>

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Guest guest

Diane,

Did you get the milk instructions I sent you? Please try that, I think you

will be much happier with the results. You are never going to get the

" pour " consistency that you get when you are making you base soap. Thick

honey more would be what you are looking for.

The oven method works so much better. When you get your box, I sent you

some samples of stuff to give you an idea.

Norma Coney puts way to much water in those recipes so when they finaly dry

which takes 2 - 3 months they are shrunken and ugly. With milk you use way

less liquid and there is way less shrinkage.

If you have one of those graters that has the real skinny holes (not talking

about the zest grater part) that one works to help the soap melt better.

I can melt about 5 lbs of soap with about 12 ounces of milk total, and that

is soap that has been around a while.

Don't give up, my first 2 batches of " base " soap turned out bad, but since I

was rebatching, I used them and they were fine, but I had a horrid time

getting that soap to melt down. If you use animal fat like tallow or lard

you will get a better melt, vegi oils (olive palm coconut almond etc) do not

give as good a melt.

Throw caution to the wind, laugh out loud, make a batch and add stuff at

trace.

I'll send you a tried and true recipe in a bit. Well send me a list of oils

you have and I'll make sure this recipe will work fo ryou, then if it don't

I'll fix it for you.

Send it private please so we don't clog up the list.

Sherry i nAberdeen strozyk@...

Re: need help

>Sherry

> thanks for responding I'm getting so frustrated with this. I use

>distilled water, and I bring both temps down to 100 before I mix together.

I

>use a hard plastic spoon to stir. My basic soap is turning out great ( I

>think ) but when I remelt it and add ingredients my soap comes out real

soft,

>each mold the soap looks different. One batch I added cucumber and liquid

>benzoin. I had to throw that batch out. It smelled terrible the next batch

I

>only added water and vitamin E. and that batch I still have but it looks

>funny. I will look for those books today when I'm out and about. Thanks

for

>you help and if you see something that I'm doing wrong please let me know.

> Dianne

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Good friends, school spirit, hair-dos you'd like to forget.

>Classmates.com has them all. And with 4.4 million alumni already

>registered, there's a good chance you'll find your friends here:

>http://click./1/2886/0/_/533249/_/956763931/

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>Check out our homepage at

http://www.angelfire.com/mi/Soapmaking101/index.html

>

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

Diane,

Did you get the milk instructions I sent you? Please try that, I think you

will be much happier with the results. You are never going to get the

" pour " consistency that you get when you are making you base soap. Thick

honey more would be what you are looking for.

The oven method works so much better. When you get your box, I sent you

some samples of stuff to give you an idea.

Norma Coney puts way to much water in those recipes so when they finaly dry

which takes 2 - 3 months they are shrunken and ugly. With milk you use way

less liquid and there is way less shrinkage.

If you have one of those graters that has the real skinny holes (not talking

about the zest grater part) that one works to help the soap melt better.

I can melt about 5 lbs of soap with about 12 ounces of milk total, and that

is soap that has been around a while.

Don't give up, my first 2 batches of " base " soap turned out bad, but since I

was rebatching, I used them and they were fine, but I had a horrid time

getting that soap to melt down. If you use animal fat like tallow or lard

you will get a better melt, vegi oils (olive palm coconut almond etc) do not

give as good a melt.

Throw caution to the wind, laugh out loud, make a batch and add stuff at

trace.

I'll send you a tried and true recipe in a bit. Well send me a list of oils

you have and I'll make sure this recipe will work fo ryou, then if it don't

I'll fix it for you.

Send it private please so we don't clog up the list.

Sherry i nAberdeen strozyk@...

Re: need help

>Sherry

> thanks for responding I'm getting so frustrated with this. I use

>distilled water, and I bring both temps down to 100 before I mix together.

I

>use a hard plastic spoon to stir. My basic soap is turning out great ( I

>think ) but when I remelt it and add ingredients my soap comes out real

soft,

>each mold the soap looks different. One batch I added cucumber and liquid

>benzoin. I had to throw that batch out. It smelled terrible the next batch

I

>only added water and vitamin E. and that batch I still have but it looks

>funny. I will look for those books today when I'm out and about. Thanks

for

>you help and if you see something that I'm doing wrong please let me know.

> Dianne

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Good friends, school spirit, hair-dos you'd like to forget.

>Classmates.com has them all. And with 4.4 million alumni already

>registered, there's a good chance you'll find your friends here:

>http://click./1/2886/0/_/533249/_/956763931/

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>Check out our homepage at

http://www.angelfire.com/mi/Soapmaking101/index.html

>

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

Diane,

Did you get the milk instructions I sent you? Please try that, I think you

will be much happier with the results. You are never going to get the

" pour " consistency that you get when you are making you base soap. Thick

honey more would be what you are looking for.

The oven method works so much better. When you get your box, I sent you

some samples of stuff to give you an idea.

Norma Coney puts way to much water in those recipes so when they finaly dry

which takes 2 - 3 months they are shrunken and ugly. With milk you use way

less liquid and there is way less shrinkage.

If you have one of those graters that has the real skinny holes (not talking

about the zest grater part) that one works to help the soap melt better.

I can melt about 5 lbs of soap with about 12 ounces of milk total, and that

is soap that has been around a while.

Don't give up, my first 2 batches of " base " soap turned out bad, but since I

was rebatching, I used them and they were fine, but I had a horrid time

getting that soap to melt down. If you use animal fat like tallow or lard

you will get a better melt, vegi oils (olive palm coconut almond etc) do not

give as good a melt.

Throw caution to the wind, laugh out loud, make a batch and add stuff at

trace.

I'll send you a tried and true recipe in a bit. Well send me a list of oils

you have and I'll make sure this recipe will work fo ryou, then if it don't

I'll fix it for you.

Send it private please so we don't clog up the list.

Sherry i nAberdeen strozyk@...

Re: need help

>Sherry

> thanks for responding I'm getting so frustrated with this. I use

>distilled water, and I bring both temps down to 100 before I mix together.

I

>use a hard plastic spoon to stir. My basic soap is turning out great ( I

>think ) but when I remelt it and add ingredients my soap comes out real

soft,

>each mold the soap looks different. One batch I added cucumber and liquid

>benzoin. I had to throw that batch out. It smelled terrible the next batch

I

>only added water and vitamin E. and that batch I still have but it looks

>funny. I will look for those books today when I'm out and about. Thanks

for

>you help and if you see something that I'm doing wrong please let me know.

> Dianne

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Good friends, school spirit, hair-dos you'd like to forget.

>Classmates.com has them all. And with 4.4 million alumni already

>registered, there's a good chance you'll find your friends here:

>http://click./1/2886/0/_/533249/_/956763931/

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>Check out our homepage at

http://www.angelfire.com/mi/Soapmaking101/index.html

>

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  • 1 year later...
Guest guest

Carolyn,

This has not happened to me, although it is one of my concerns. I

just make everyone that would do something like that think everything is

fine (my ex is out of state so he doesn't see me). I would suggest that

if this is happening to you, to seek out a women's shelter...they

usually have attorney's that do pro bono (free) work and are wise in the

ways of dealing with these accusations. You might also try contacting

the YMCA/YWCA...they sometimes do the same.

Peace,

co-moderator

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Guest guest

Carolyn,

This has not happened to me, although it is one of my concerns. I

just make everyone that would do something like that think everything is

fine (my ex is out of state so he doesn't see me). I would suggest that

if this is happening to you, to seek out a women's shelter...they

usually have attorney's that do pro bono (free) work and are wise in the

ways of dealing with these accusations. You might also try contacting

the YMCA/YWCA...they sometimes do the same.

Peace,

co-moderator

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Share on other sites

thanks sarah, but im srill married to a alcoholic for 11 yrs, they want to

force him to rehab and since i stay so sick and in pain and extemely

fatigued, they say i cant take care of kids but thats their opinion they

live 1800 hun. miles away. my husband is being one big jerk with every new

problem ive had over last 3 yrs. i do need help in a 24 hr with the 3 yr old

but the 20,10 and 6 are wonderful helpers!!!!!!!!!! they have truly blessed

me and there happy kids except dads drinking. but if i live or he leaves im

disabled, little money and no insurance in i dont get approved at alj. my

drs. think it would be close yo impossible to take away kids from me unless

i get to were people who know me see i cant do it at all. so im praying,

just curios if any one else ever went thru th.

carolyn

Re: need help

> Carolyn,

> This has not happened to me, although it is one of my concerns. I

> just make everyone that would do something like that think everything is

> fine (my ex is out of state so he doesn't see me). I would suggest that

> if this is happening to you, to seek out a women's shelter...they

> usually have attorney's that do pro bono (free) work and are wise in the

> ways of dealing with these accusations. You might also try contacting

> the YMCA/YWCA...they sometimes do the same.

> Peace,

>

> co-moderator

>

>

>

> SEND POST TO: fibromyalgia-cfs

>

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Share on other sites

thanks sarah, but im srill married to a alcoholic for 11 yrs, they want to

force him to rehab and since i stay so sick and in pain and extemely

fatigued, they say i cant take care of kids but thats their opinion they

live 1800 hun. miles away. my husband is being one big jerk with every new

problem ive had over last 3 yrs. i do need help in a 24 hr with the 3 yr old

but the 20,10 and 6 are wonderful helpers!!!!!!!!!! they have truly blessed

me and there happy kids except dads drinking. but if i live or he leaves im

disabled, little money and no insurance in i dont get approved at alj. my

drs. think it would be close yo impossible to take away kids from me unless

i get to were people who know me see i cant do it at all. so im praying,

just curios if any one else ever went thru th.

carolyn

Re: need help

> Carolyn,

> This has not happened to me, although it is one of my concerns. I

> just make everyone that would do something like that think everything is

> fine (my ex is out of state so he doesn't see me). I would suggest that

> if this is happening to you, to seek out a women's shelter...they

> usually have attorney's that do pro bono (free) work and are wise in the

> ways of dealing with these accusations. You might also try contacting

> the YMCA/YWCA...they sometimes do the same.

> Peace,

>

> co-moderator

>

>

>

> SEND POST TO: fibromyalgia-cfs

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thanks sarah, but im srill married to a alcoholic for 11 yrs, they want to

force him to rehab and since i stay so sick and in pain and extemely

fatigued, they say i cant take care of kids but thats their opinion they

live 1800 hun. miles away. my husband is being one big jerk with every new

problem ive had over last 3 yrs. i do need help in a 24 hr with the 3 yr old

but the 20,10 and 6 are wonderful helpers!!!!!!!!!! they have truly blessed

me and there happy kids except dads drinking. but if i live or he leaves im

disabled, little money and no insurance in i dont get approved at alj. my

drs. think it would be close yo impossible to take away kids from me unless

i get to were people who know me see i cant do it at all. so im praying,

just curios if any one else ever went thru th.

carolyn

Re: need help

> Carolyn,

> This has not happened to me, although it is one of my concerns. I

> just make everyone that would do something like that think everything is

> fine (my ex is out of state so he doesn't see me). I would suggest that

> if this is happening to you, to seek out a women's shelter...they

> usually have attorney's that do pro bono (free) work and are wise in the

> ways of dealing with these accusations. You might also try contacting

> the YMCA/YWCA...they sometimes do the same.

> Peace,

>

> co-moderator

>

>

>

> SEND POST TO: fibromyalgia-cfs

>

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Share on other sites

Carolyn,

I have never been married to an alcoholic but I was raised by one who was not

only a drunk, but a drug addict and an abusive man to my mother and my

sister. I am also a recovering alcoholic.

He is not going to quit drinking unless he wants to. We have choices these

days that my mother never had. Can your 20 year old help you and help you

with the younger children? I agree with your doctor that I can't see how

they could take your children away but then I am not lawyer so this is my

opinion only.

I can tell you this much. Children are better off without your husband but

only if they stay with you. You sound like a very caring and loving mother.

Have you applied for SS disability? If not, start now. Start trying to get

your life in order so that your husband can go to detox and you are still

able to live. Detox is h***. After you go through it once, I for one cannot

see why you would every want to drink again and be forced into detox again.

Please take care of yourself,

Irene

co-moderator

> thanks sarah, but im srill married to a alcoholic for 11 yrs, they want to

> force him to rehab and since i stay so sick and in pain and extemely

> fatigued, they say i cant take care of kids but thats their opinion they

> live 1800 hun. miles away. my husband is being one big jerk with every new

> problem ive had over last 3 yrs. i do need help in a 24 hr with the 3 yr old

> but the 20,10 and 6 are wonderful helpers!!!!!!!!!! they have truly blessed

> me and there happy kids except dads drinking. but if i live or he leaves im

> disabled, little money and no insurance in i dont get approved at alj. my

> drs. think it would be close yo impossible to take away kids from me unless

> i get to were people who know me see i cant do it at all. so im praying,

>

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Carolyn,

I have never been married to an alcoholic but I was raised by one who was not

only a drunk, but a drug addict and an abusive man to my mother and my

sister. I am also a recovering alcoholic.

He is not going to quit drinking unless he wants to. We have choices these

days that my mother never had. Can your 20 year old help you and help you

with the younger children? I agree with your doctor that I can't see how

they could take your children away but then I am not lawyer so this is my

opinion only.

I can tell you this much. Children are better off without your husband but

only if they stay with you. You sound like a very caring and loving mother.

Have you applied for SS disability? If not, start now. Start trying to get

your life in order so that your husband can go to detox and you are still

able to live. Detox is h***. After you go through it once, I for one cannot

see why you would every want to drink again and be forced into detox again.

Please take care of yourself,

Irene

co-moderator

> thanks sarah, but im srill married to a alcoholic for 11 yrs, they want to

> force him to rehab and since i stay so sick and in pain and extemely

> fatigued, they say i cant take care of kids but thats their opinion they

> live 1800 hun. miles away. my husband is being one big jerk with every new

> problem ive had over last 3 yrs. i do need help in a 24 hr with the 3 yr old

> but the 20,10 and 6 are wonderful helpers!!!!!!!!!! they have truly blessed

> me and there happy kids except dads drinking. but if i live or he leaves im

> disabled, little money and no insurance in i dont get approved at alj. my

> drs. think it would be close yo impossible to take away kids from me unless

> i get to were people who know me see i cant do it at all. so im praying,

>

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