Re: Greed or survival?

[Guest guest]

What great honest sharing.  I sometimes over eat because I am afraid I will be hungry before I " should " eat again.  There is that " should " word.  And when I am eating, I am already thinking about what I will have for dessert.  That comes from childhood, saving room for dessert.  I too have never know starvation hunger yet act like there might not be food there when I need it.  I knew some folks who grew up in the depression era and they used to overstock the pantry for fear it would run out.  They did that long after the depression was over.  I understand that but I don't understand my own fear that the food will run out.  My Dad owned a grocery store and we had anything we wanted even when supplies were somewhat limited.  I was born in 1943 at the end of the war.  But my Dad could always get food even if it was on the " black Market " sort of?  I have been able to throw food out when I realize it doesn't appeal to me anymore and is hurting me.. But that is something very new and I still struggle with it.  I'd like to get to the point that I don't even buy the foods I seem to eat until it's gone, like cookies, etc. I am going to a family BBQ at my daughter's tomorrow and intend to enjoy myself and the food without guilt. I also plan to just have fun.  I am thinking of you and thanking you for your honesty. Sandy

 

I have never known severe unintentional hunger (true starvation caused by poverty or abuse for example), yet I've observed that my attitude toward food is sometimes panicked and aggressively needy/greedy. I need and want as much as possible, and I don't want others to get more than me, or for me to be left out of the food experience. If food is offered then I want some, regardless of my physical hunger. I feel things are very unjust when I'm not offered as much as everyone else (intentionally or accidentally) and I prefer to allows take as much as possible – allowing the available quantitiy by my satiation measure and not my internal cue- i.e. I eat the whole pan of brownies or the whole box of cereal. It's hard to start something and not finish it. I also struggle to with waste- I never leave anything on my plate and I've often been nick-named " the human disposal " because I will finish everything. My stress toward food- getting enough, constantly filling up `just in case', and my greedy attitude (I want it so therefore I get it…It's hard for me to share and be conscious of others when food is involved, even though I consider myself a kind, compassionate and giving person in other aspects of my life.)

I feel very ashamed of this attitude and many times I take food- even sneak it. And always when I'm not hungry. I don't feel ashamed of eating when I have true physical hunger. But when I'm eating for emotional reasons I want to hide my behavior and acquire as much food as I can " get away with " – last night I stayed at a friends house and I found all her biscuits and ate just enough from each container so she wouldn't notice…I'm horrified after I've finished/the next day and terrified that she will figure out what I've done.

But what is this attitude all about? I have always been well provided for, and certainly never been in real want of food. But why does this seem like a survival instinct gone wild- Or could it be simple greed ?

[Guest guest]

Boy, does this sound familiar!

I recently went through an awful job situation and for months I found myself

eating at every possible chance weather I was hungry (which rarely happened)

stuffed, or even sick. I was miserable on an emotional level, and I used food to

give myself the freedom and enjoyment that I wasn't getting anywhere else.

What's going on in your life right now?

Also, I later found out that I have extremely low glucose levels, so even though

I ate my body and brain weren't getting enough fuel, so I always wanted food

whether I was hungry or not. Without knowing it, my smart body was trying to

take care of itself and keep my blood sugar stable, so don't rule out something

physical. I went to a holistic doctor about my compulsive eating and she did a

myriad of blood tests that revealed a dairy allergy and several nutritional

deficiencies linked with depression and overeating, so some of this might also

be the case with you.

McKella

>

> I have never known severe unintentional hunger (true starvation caused by

poverty or abuse for example), yet I've observed that my attitude toward food is

sometimes panicked and aggressively needy/greedy. I need and want as much as

possible, and I don't want others to get more than me, or for me to be left out

of the food experience. If food is offered then I want some, regardless of my

physical hunger. I feel things are very unjust when I'm not offered as much as

everyone else (intentionally or accidentally) and I prefer to allows take as

much as possible – allowing the available quantitiy by my satiation measure and

not my internal cue- i.e. I eat the whole pan of brownies or the whole box of

cereal. It's hard to start something and not finish it. I also struggle to with

waste- I never leave anything on my plate and I've often been nick-named " the

human disposal " because I will finish everything. My stress toward food- getting

enough, constantly filling up `just in case', and my greedy attitude (I want it

so therefore I get it…It's hard for me to share and be conscious of others when

food is involved, even though I consider myself a kind, compassionate and giving

person in other aspects of my life.)

> I feel very ashamed of this attitude and many times I take food- even sneak

it. And always when I'm not hungry. I don't feel ashamed of eating when I have

true physical hunger. But when I'm eating for emotional reasons I want to hide

my behavior and acquire as much food as I can " get away with " – last night I

stayed at a friends house and I found all her biscuits and ate just enough from

each container so she wouldn't notice…I'm horrified after I've finished/the next

day and terrified that she will figure out what I've done.

> But what is this attitude all about? I have always been well provided for, and

certainly never been in real want of food. But why does this seem like a

survival instinct gone wild- Or could it be simple greed ?

>

[Guest guest]

Jeanna

Wow, I've so been there.

have you read any Geneen Roth books? She addresses this inner need very

seriously and compassionately (NO you're not Gy!) Please don't be ashamed

of yourself. Your sneaking food, and eating whatever is available, is a way

you--somehow somewhere, in your past--learned to care for yourself. You're

doing the best you know how at that moment.

Roth encourages us to " make inquiry " into our habits, without judgment and with

much self-compassion. I'm learning (and it willnever be perfect) to talk to my

vulnerable self with love.

Pretend it's a little girl, or one of us on this board...you wouldn't call me

greedy would you?

There are real human emotional reasons why you feel you can't get enough. Many

of them are imposed on us by this consumerist society.

hugs

Foggy

>

> I have never known severe unintentional hunger (true starvation caused by

poverty or abuse for example), yet I've observed that my attitude toward food is

sometimes panicked and aggressively needy/greedy. I need and want as much as

possible, and I don't want others to get more than me, or for me to be left out

of the food experience. If food is offered then I want some, regardless of my

physical hunger. I feel things are very unjust when I'm not offered as much as

everyone else (intentionally or accidentally) and I prefer to allows take as

much as possible – allowing the available quantitiy by my satiation measure and

not my internal cue- i.e. I eat the whole pan of brownies or the whole box of

cereal. It's hard to start something and not finish it. I also struggle to with

waste- I never leave anything on my plate and I've often been nick-named " the

human disposal " because I will finish everything. My stress toward food- getting

enough, constantly filling up `just in case', and my greedy attitude (I want it

so therefore I get it…It's hard for me to share and be conscious of others when

food is involved, even though I consider myself a kind, compassionate and giving

person in other aspects of my life.)

> I feel very ashamed of this attitude and many times I take food- even sneak

it. And always when I'm not hungry. I don't feel ashamed of eating when I have

true physical hunger. But when I'm eating for emotional reasons I want to hide

my behavior and acquire as much food as I can " get away with " – last night I

stayed at a friends house and I found all her biscuits and ate just enough from

each container so she wouldn't notice…I'm horrified after I've finished/the next

day and terrified that she will figure out what I've done.

> But what is this attitude all about? I have always been well provided for, and

certainly never been in real want of food. But why does this seem like a

survival instinct gone wild- Or could it be simple greed ?

>

[Guest guest]

This struggle is familiar to me too. It seems to be shame driven. If I mentally set the shame outside, and tell myself to honor my body, then I'm able to stop. Also, sharing it,like you're doing, helps combat the shame. I think this is a crucial piece of the IE thinking - we must find a way to get rid of the shame - find a way that works for you, and you will find the end to the compulsion. I'm still vacillating in and out, and fear also plays a part for me. But I'm learning. Hope this helps you. Just writing about it helps me.

Thanks,

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: mckella11@...Date: Sun, 29 May 2011 13:20:56 +0000Subject: Re: Greed or survival?

Boy, does this sound familiar! I recently went through an awful job situation and for months I found myself eating at every possible chance weather I was hungry (which rarely happened) stuffed, or even sick. I was miserable on an emotional level, and I used food to give myself the freedom and enjoyment that I wasn't getting anywhere else. What's going on in your life right now? Also, I later found out that I have extremely low glucose levels, so even though I ate my body and brain weren't getting enough fuel, so I always wanted food whether I was hungry or not. Without knowing it, my smart body was trying to take care of itself and keep my blood sugar stable, so don't rule out something physical. I went to a holistic doctor about my compulsive eating and she did a myriad of blood tests that revealed a dairy allergy and several nutritional deficiencies linked with depression and overeating, so some of this might also be the case with you. McKella>> I have never known severe unintentional hunger (true starvation caused by poverty or abuse for example), yet I've observed that my attitude toward food is sometimes panicked and aggressively needy/greedy. I need and want as much as possible, and I don't want others to get more than me, or for me to be left out of the food experience. If food is offered then I want some, regardless of my physical hunger. I feel things are very unjust when I'm not offered as much as everyone else (intentionally or accidentally) and I prefer to allows take as much as possible – allowing the available quantitiy by my satiation measure and not my internal cue- i.e. I eat the whole pan of brownies or the whole box of cereal. It's hard to start something and not finish it. I also struggle to with waste- I never leave anything on my plate and I've often been nick-named "the human disposal" because I will finish everything. My stress toward food- getting enough, constantly filling up `just in case', and my greedy attitude (I want it so therefore I get it…It's hard for me to share and be conscious of others when food is involved, even though I consider myself a kind, compassionate and giving person in other aspects of my life.)> I feel very ashamed of this attitude and many times I take food- even sneak it. And always when I'm not hungry. I don't feel ashamed of eating when I have true physical hunger. But when I'm eating for emotional reasons I want to hide my behavior and acquire as much food as I can "get away with" – last night I stayed at a friends house and I found all her biscuits and ate just enough from each container so she wouldn't notice…I'm horrified after I've finished/the next day and terrified that she will figure out what I've done.> But what is this attitude all about? I have always been well provided for, and certainly never been in real want of food. But why does this seem like a survival instinct gone wild- Or could it be simple greed ?>

[Guest guest]

I wonder if you feel like you aren't, or historically have not, had your EMOTIONAL needs met? maybe you use food to fill up that emotional hole, but of course, food can't really make you feel loved and nurtured, so however much you get, it's never enough?

just a guess... let us know what you think.and BRAVO to you for sharing. i'm sure that must have been hard. but bringing those skeletons out of the closet is the first step in banishing them.

and ps, i second the recommendation for Geneen Roth's books. my favorite was Women, Food, and God. it truly spoke to me on a whole new level.best,

abby

 

This struggle is familiar to me too.  It seems to be shame driven.  If I mentally set the shame outside, and tell myself to honor my body, then I'm able to stop.  Also, sharing it,like you're doing, helps combat the shame.  I think this is a crucial piece of the IE thinking - we must find a way to get rid of the shame - find a way that works for you, and you will find the end to the compulsion.  I'm still vacillating in and out, and fear also plays a part for me.  But I'm learning.  Hope this helps you.  Just writing about it helps me.

Thanks,

 

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: mckella11@...Date: Sun, 29 May 2011 13:20:56 +0000

Subject: Re: Greed or survival?

 

Boy, does this sound familiar! I recently went through an awful job situation and for months I found myself eating at every possible chance weather I was hungry (which rarely happened) stuffed, or even sick. I was miserable on an emotional level, and I used food to give myself the freedom and enjoyment that I wasn't getting anywhere else. What's going on in your life right now?

Also, I later found out that I have extremely low glucose levels, so even though I ate my body and brain weren't getting enough fuel, so I always wanted food whether I was hungry or not. Without knowing it, my smart body was trying to take care of itself and keep my blood sugar stable, so don't rule out something physical. I went to a holistic doctor about my compulsive eating and she did a myriad of blood tests that revealed a dairy allergy and several nutritional deficiencies linked with depression and overeating, so some of this might also be the case with you.

McKella>> I have never known severe unintentional hunger (true starvation caused by poverty or abuse for example), yet I've observed that my attitude toward food is sometimes panicked and aggressively needy/greedy. I need and want as much as possible, and I don't want others to get more than me, or for me to be left out of the food experience. If food is offered then I want some, regardless of my physical hunger. I feel things are very unjust when I'm not offered as much as everyone else (intentionally or accidentally) and I prefer to allows take as much as possible – allowing the available quantitiy by my satiation measure and not my internal cue- i.e. I eat the whole pan of brownies or the whole box of cereal. It's hard to start something and not finish it. I also struggle to with waste- I never leave anything on my plate and I've often been nick-named " the human disposal " because I will finish everything. My stress toward food- getting enough, constantly filling up `just in case', and my greedy attitude (I want it so therefore I get it…It's hard for me to share and be conscious of others when food is involved, even though I consider myself a kind, compassionate and giving person in other aspects of my life.)

> I feel very ashamed of this attitude and many times I take food- even sneak it. And always when I'm not hungry. I don't feel ashamed of eating when I have true physical hunger. But when I'm eating for emotional reasons I want to hide my behavior and acquire as much food as I can " get away with " – last night I stayed at a friends house and I found all her biscuits and ate just enough from each container so she wouldn't notice…I'm horrified after I've finished/the next day and terrified that she will figure out what I've done.

> But what is this attitude all about? I have always been well provided for, and certainly never been in real want of food. But why does this seem like a survival instinct gone wild- Or could it be simple greed ?>

[Guest guest]

I actually got started on this journey thanks to a Geneen Roth book I read- and

when I was reading it I was so motivated that IE came easy (plus I was on

vacation:)

The part that scares me about my journey/working on IE is that even when i'm

willing to deal with my emotions I don't know what to do. I feel paralyzed adn

and a little crazy until I give into food.

I don't feel I have had a harder life than many others I know so I don't blame

my emotional handicaps on others, but I think I am struggling with full

awarenss. ?

> >

> > I have never known severe unintentional hunger (true starvation caused by

poverty or abuse for example), yet I've observed that my attitude toward food is

sometimes panicked and aggressively needy/greedy. I need and want as much as

possible, and I don't want others to get more than me, or for me to be left out

of the food experience. If food is offered then I want some, regardless of my

physical hunger. I feel things are very unjust when I'm not offered as much as

everyone else (intentionally or accidentally) and I prefer to allows take as

much as possible – allowing the available quantitiy by my satiation measure and

not my internal cue- i.e. I eat the whole pan of brownies or the whole box of

cereal. It's hard to start something and not finish it. I also struggle to with

waste- I never leave anything on my plate and I've often been nick-named " the

human disposal " because I will finish everything. My stress toward food- getting

enough, constantly filling up `just in case', and my greedy attitude (I want it

so therefore I get it…It's hard for me to share and be conscious of others when

food is involved, even though I consider myself a kind, compassionate and giving

person in other aspects of my life.)

> > I feel very ashamed of this attitude and many times I take food- even sneak

it. And always when I'm not hungry. I don't feel ashamed of eating when I have

true physical hunger. But when I'm eating for emotional reasons I want to hide

my behavior and acquire as much food as I can " get away with " – last night I

stayed at a friends house and I found all her biscuits and ate just enough from

each container so she wouldn't notice…I'm horrified after I've finished/the next

day and terrified that she will figure out what I've done.

> > But what is this attitude all about? I have always been well provided for,

and certainly never been in real want of food. But why does this seem like a

survival instinct gone wild- Or could it be simple greed ?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Abigail Wolfson wrote:

> I wonder if you feel like you aren't, or historically have not, had your

> EMOTIONAL needs met?

I have a thought about needs not met when it comes to food. Though I

never suffered starvation, my food was limited. I never was allowed to

eat as much as I liked and if I did, there were snarky comments about

it. So while I never suffered starvation, I also never felt that I got

enough food.

I feel like I'm unconsciously still trying to prove myself that I now

can have all the food I want, that I'm not going to tolerate any

comments about the amount of food I'm eating and all that stuff... maybe

I'm still rebelling, as idiotic as it is.

Best wishes

s.

[Guest guest]

I agree the self-abusif rebelling is idiotic but boy can I relate! You are

right. I'm always trying to fill myself with food and using food to avoid things

I don't want to do.

>

> > I wonder if you feel like you aren't, or historically have not, had your

> > EMOTIONAL needs met?

>

> I have a thought about needs not met when it comes to food. Though I

> never suffered starvation, my food was limited. I never was allowed to

> eat as much as I liked and if I did, there were snarky comments about

> it. So while I never suffered starvation, I also never felt that I got

> enough food.

>

> I feel like I'm unconsciously still trying to prove myself that I now

> can have all the food I want, that I'm not going to tolerate any

> comments about the amount of food I'm eating and all that stuff... maybe

> I'm still rebelling, as idiotic as it is.

>

> Best wishes

> s.

>