Re: Re: a lot of free time

May 25, 2011

Thanks fro sharing.

Last night, I was in a very bad place. constantly eating but at the same time telling myself this IE stuff is not working. It seemed like a strong force was driving me into thinking about starting to diet again even though logically I knew "dieting does not work for me"

It took me all evening to get grounded and accept this is a process I am going through and I will not change over night.

One thing helped me was thinking about the concept of having "self compassion"

I kept asking myself "what does it mean to have self compassion" and while I was eating I was asking two questions constantly " how to have self compassion?" and "what is going on that I am eating so fast".

at first, these questions made me angry and I ate more BUT finally it sinked in and I stopped and started looking at my feelings and I figured out what triggered my eating.

This is what triggered me" I looked at my stomach and it looked big, I was at work and I could not be kind to myself and no time either .I was hurt and sad about having a big stomach" . As simple as that. this triggered my eating and I could not stop.

When I saw my big stomach, I started judging myself, etc and could not be kind and compassionate to myself

Subject: Re: a lot of free timeTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, May 25, 2011, 8:55 AM

I can relate to what you say about it being difficult to release control and trust. I tend to be very controlling and I like things to go my way and according to my time line...and when things don't fall into play the way I would like i get very stressed and turn to food...alas I too have found unwanted pounds during times of trying circumstances and more-so just through lifes dailing stresses.It is so hard to remember that this is a process and I'm developing. I so want to drop all the unwanted pounds immediately! especially wiht summer here! But crash dieting has not helped my life and as long as I keep breathing and taking one day at a time I don't jump on any new bandwagons.keep on the journey>> Good morning everyone!> > As I go through this process of giving up dieting, I realize how much free time I have because I am not thinking about points, when I can eat, what I should eat, nor am I reading every single article on diet and weight loss that comes in all the magazines. That leaves a lot of time on my hands and somewhat a feeling of loss. This is a habit I have had for 40 years and now I am trying to give it up.> > It is hard to give up the food police and all the rules and trust in yourself and your God given ability to know when you are hungry and what your body needs. I went for about 4 weeks and maintained my weight; then I was hospitalized and had to cancel a trip abroad due to my health and that was all stressful

not to mention it happened a week before Easter and all the candy, etc. - and I gained 4 lbs. comforting myself with food. Those lbs. are not going away and I am very concerned that the scale will continue to go up instead of down. This concern is making me think, for the millionth time, about going on some diet . . . . if I could only be thin, I need something else to be in control, yada yada yada . . . . . I so want to stop this destructive pattern.> > Any words of wisdom? Thanks.> Debra>

May 25, 2011

Could you tell yourself that is sort of arbitrary? I mean, what if you were pregnant? Or a child who was growing? Your stomach would be big. Would you beat yourself up then?Patti

When I saw my big stomach, I started judging myself, etc and could not be kind and compassionate to myself

May 25, 2011

Wonderful and so true. If we had been born in a different time or culture we would be considered the " beauties " and not the " uglies " . As I look at hose real skinny women, I think how sickly they look and not healthy at all. I have been reading a book called " Big Fat Lies " by Glenn A. Gaesser. It's about all the propaganda and myths we have been fed(pun intended) regarding fat vs. thin and healthy vs. natural. Much of it is about conspiracies from the multimillion dollar diet fads/products and exercise equipment that promise the quick fix, etc. Thanks again. Sandy

Liz - I find all of your tips and thoughts to be so helpful! They reminded me of a video I saw recently comparing the images we see in modern media to the ideal of beauty represented in classical art. It's very inspiring (and troubling, to feel the comparison to images we're baragged with today), but please beware that some of those images might be triggering, so please don't watch if you worry it might make you feel badly. But I thought it was amazing: http://vimeo.com/8258013

- Casey

May 26, 2011

I was reading a parenting book last night (Cinderella Ate My Daughter -- very interesting so far) and it was talking about how every time PRESCHOOL and older girls are exposed to contemporary images of conventionally attractive women (models, actresses), the self esteem of the girls went down.

even with FOUR year old girls, who are supposedly clueless about such things, if affects them negatively!imagine what it does to us, who are so much more aware of what we are " supposed " to look like!

i think looking at images of CLASSICALLY beautiful women might have the opposite effect... certainly i find i am MUCH happier since i stopped looking at gossip/ " fitness " types of magazines. (ok, i do admit i look at the doctor's office... luckily i don't go very often!)

Abby

Casey, I love the video! Thanks for sharing it!

-Liz

>

> Liz -

>

> I find all of your tips and thoughts to be so helpful! They reminded me of a

> video I saw recently comparing the images we see in modern media to the

> ideal of beauty represented in classical art. It's very inspiring (and

> troubling, to feel the comparison to images we're baragged with today), but

> please beware that some of those images might be triggering, so please don't

> watch if you worry it might make you feel badly. But I thought it was

> amazing: http://vimeo.com/8258013

>

> - Casey

>

May 28, 2011

Thanks, Liz, for your wonderful post.

When I read that you vowed never to self-attack your body again, I

decided to do the same. I decided that for one year I will not

say negative things about my body. That I can always go BACK to self-

attack if I so choose....it can always be there waiting for me, but

that for now I'm not going to accept it. It's not allowed in my life.

I do have thin hair, and I do blame myself (as someone mentioned thin

hair in a post.) Because of my pcos, which I've always blamed on my

weight. So I've been one who has self-attacked on anything and

everything I can handle. No more!!!

For me, doing it for just a year, just like not weighing myself in

2011, is a great practice in letting go. Self-attack can always be

reversed. It can! So...there we have it.

My body has been very good to me. It's taken me from point A to

point B on a regular basis. It digests food, gives me strength,

allows me to be a musician. My brain is good. Why in the world sit

around and self-attack those little things that are lumpy or bumpy?

forget that!!!

Thanks again, Liz.

Cheers,

May 28, 2011

Great insights and thanks. That sounds like a good idea to me too. Have a good Holiday everyone and ENJOY the food and celebrate. Sandy