Guest guest Posted September 6, 2001 Report Share Posted September 6, 2001 > My name is Heidi from the UK<snip>Last year I move to the other > side of the country 2 be with my boyfriend.Things ave > been a bit up and down since then as my man has found > this a very difficult thing 2 cope with it has split > us up twice this year at the mo we r back 2 gether and > he is trying to understand.only time will tell.<BR> > Heidi<BR> Hi Heidi As a veteran of 3 relationships lost to FM, I feel your pain. Just know that the stress on you, if the relationship can't move forward to a better place, will make your FM worse and it will be that much harder to make any move to get better and make your life better. I left my husband after putting up with his lack of support (after I got FM) for several years. By the time I left I was a total wreck and it is a miracle I could get myself out of there. After leaving I was hospitalized for a month, had to have an emergency surgery and ended up with complications, a lot due to all of the emotional pain I had been subjected to on top of the FM for so many years. It was hard, but I found it much easier to get support from others, create a life that helped me heal, and do for myself than to deal with the constant wearing down of my spirit. I was too attached to the place we lived, our lifestyle, etc. to leave when I should have. Never again. I tried 2 more times, both failures, in spite of the fact that these were good men, our relationship was good in all other ways, and they were supportive; but after several months they bailed because they couldn't handle being with someone who had limitations they didn't have. I'm not suggesting to leave, just saying, you deserve to be taken care of, loved, and supported, even if it is YOU who is doing that for yourself for a little while in the interim while you draw other people to help you. I found that when I was with the men I was with, my friends and other support people disappeared, thinking I was getting all the support and help I needed from my husband; they never realized I'd never felt so lonely in my life. You are not alone, you can make it through this, and one of the most important things I've ever done for myself was to have the courage to get rid of any people in my life who I felt were contributing to the loss of my self esteem, neglecting me, or insinuating I was lazy, crazy, or unstable. love, Vimala (pronounced VEE-ma-la) Louisville/Boulder, Colo USA Age 49 1/2 Single mom of married daughter (23) and son (25) Have had FM since 1989 Have a 17 year old kitty which is the daughter of my own healing cat Lucy, who died very recently of cancer Writer (books and magazines) and fabric artist (art quilts) Founder of International Nonprofit organization for family bonding Have been on SSI since August 1998 ******************************* > > Hi Vimala, > > I'm reading about your situation, and I wonder if contacting your > Congressperson might be of any benefit. Aside from helping to enact Federal > legislation, your Congressional representative is there to assist you with > issues like this. It may not pan out, but what have you got to lose? > > Love and best wishes, > ee Hi ee I haven't tried this but I'll definitely put it on my list. Getting to these places that make you wait hours to talk to somebody who then tells you to talk to somebody else is almost impossible, trying to work two jobs and deal with horrific pain all the time, and a home situation with ex-fiancee that is so tense you can cut it with a knife. love, Vimala **************** > > Subject: RE: Hello > > Char, > I think most of us know how you feel. After several months of waiting, I'm > finally going to get into the Rhuematologist in a few weeks. Hubby wants to > know if I want him to come with me. To be honest, I really don't know. Any > ideas, anyone? Also, a good friend of mine that is also a Dr., and is the > one who helped me drive puppy home, had a talk with me about asking for a > handicap sticker for my car. She felt that it would help to some degree, > and that I should try to get all the help I can. I talked to my husband, > and he told me that he'd been thinking of it for awhile, but didn't know how > I'd handle it. I still don't know how I feel about it. > Carol Hi Carol If your husband is extremely supportive and can be a reminder/advocate for you, it would be helpful to have him there. It says, this is impacting our family to the point where he is willing to come in and try to get some answers. He can verify that you are in tremendous pain and it's really hard for him to see you like this. However, if your husband has any drug phobias or misinformation (such as, nobody should EVER take any type of morphine) or would not be actively supportive, it's better to leave him home IMHO. Regarding the handicap placard, I got one, and I have been really glad ever since. Especially in the winter, you go to the store, you're in a flare up, it's icy, and the lot is full so you have to park far away, which means risking a fall and also hauling the groceries across miles of parking lot. Same thing with any kind of shopping, the more you can cut down on the amount of time spent walking around and/or carrying bags, the less pain you will have the next day or the day after that. It is NOT a moral thing. Just because your disease doesn't " show " as in " wheelchair, " doesn't mean you don't deserve any help you can get to make your life easier. FM pain is PAIN, don't let anybody diminish it. love, Vimala (pronounced VEE-ma-la) Louisville/Boulder, Colo Age 49 1/2 Single mom of married daughter (23) and son (25) Have had FM since 1989 Have a 17 year old kitty which is the daughter of my own healing cat Lucy, who died very recently of cancer Writer (books and magazines) and fabric artist (art quilts) Founder of International Nonprofit organization for family bonding Have been on SSI since August 1998 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2001 Report Share Posted September 6, 2001 > My name is Heidi from the UK<snip>Last year I move to the other > side of the country 2 be with my boyfriend.Things ave > been a bit up and down since then as my man has found > this a very difficult thing 2 cope with it has split > us up twice this year at the mo we r back 2 gether and > he is trying to understand.only time will tell.<BR> > Heidi<BR> Hi Heidi As a veteran of 3 relationships lost to FM, I feel your pain. Just know that the stress on you, if the relationship can't move forward to a better place, will make your FM worse and it will be that much harder to make any move to get better and make your life better. I left my husband after putting up with his lack of support (after I got FM) for several years. By the time I left I was a total wreck and it is a miracle I could get myself out of there. After leaving I was hospitalized for a month, had to have an emergency surgery and ended up with complications, a lot due to all of the emotional pain I had been subjected to on top of the FM for so many years. It was hard, but I found it much easier to get support from others, create a life that helped me heal, and do for myself than to deal with the constant wearing down of my spirit. I was too attached to the place we lived, our lifestyle, etc. to leave when I should have. Never again. I tried 2 more times, both failures, in spite of the fact that these were good men, our relationship was good in all other ways, and they were supportive; but after several months they bailed because they couldn't handle being with someone who had limitations they didn't have. I'm not suggesting to leave, just saying, you deserve to be taken care of, loved, and supported, even if it is YOU who is doing that for yourself for a little while in the interim while you draw other people to help you. I found that when I was with the men I was with, my friends and other support people disappeared, thinking I was getting all the support and help I needed from my husband; they never realized I'd never felt so lonely in my life. You are not alone, you can make it through this, and one of the most important things I've ever done for myself was to have the courage to get rid of any people in my life who I felt were contributing to the loss of my self esteem, neglecting me, or insinuating I was lazy, crazy, or unstable. love, Vimala (pronounced VEE-ma-la) Louisville/Boulder, Colo USA Age 49 1/2 Single mom of married daughter (23) and son (25) Have had FM since 1989 Have a 17 year old kitty which is the daughter of my own healing cat Lucy, who died very recently of cancer Writer (books and magazines) and fabric artist (art quilts) Founder of International Nonprofit organization for family bonding Have been on SSI since August 1998 ******************************* > > Hi Vimala, > > I'm reading about your situation, and I wonder if contacting your > Congressperson might be of any benefit. Aside from helping to enact Federal > legislation, your Congressional representative is there to assist you with > issues like this. It may not pan out, but what have you got to lose? > > Love and best wishes, > ee Hi ee I haven't tried this but I'll definitely put it on my list. Getting to these places that make you wait hours to talk to somebody who then tells you to talk to somebody else is almost impossible, trying to work two jobs and deal with horrific pain all the time, and a home situation with ex-fiancee that is so tense you can cut it with a knife. love, Vimala **************** > > Subject: RE: Hello > > Char, > I think most of us know how you feel. After several months of waiting, I'm > finally going to get into the Rhuematologist in a few weeks. Hubby wants to > know if I want him to come with me. To be honest, I really don't know. Any > ideas, anyone? Also, a good friend of mine that is also a Dr., and is the > one who helped me drive puppy home, had a talk with me about asking for a > handicap sticker for my car. She felt that it would help to some degree, > and that I should try to get all the help I can. I talked to my husband, > and he told me that he'd been thinking of it for awhile, but didn't know how > I'd handle it. I still don't know how I feel about it. > Carol Hi Carol If your husband is extremely supportive and can be a reminder/advocate for you, it would be helpful to have him there. It says, this is impacting our family to the point where he is willing to come in and try to get some answers. He can verify that you are in tremendous pain and it's really hard for him to see you like this. However, if your husband has any drug phobias or misinformation (such as, nobody should EVER take any type of morphine) or would not be actively supportive, it's better to leave him home IMHO. Regarding the handicap placard, I got one, and I have been really glad ever since. Especially in the winter, you go to the store, you're in a flare up, it's icy, and the lot is full so you have to park far away, which means risking a fall and also hauling the groceries across miles of parking lot. Same thing with any kind of shopping, the more you can cut down on the amount of time spent walking around and/or carrying bags, the less pain you will have the next day or the day after that. It is NOT a moral thing. Just because your disease doesn't " show " as in " wheelchair, " doesn't mean you don't deserve any help you can get to make your life easier. FM pain is PAIN, don't let anybody diminish it. love, Vimala (pronounced VEE-ma-la) Louisville/Boulder, Colo Age 49 1/2 Single mom of married daughter (23) and son (25) Have had FM since 1989 Have a 17 year old kitty which is the daughter of my own healing cat Lucy, who died very recently of cancer Writer (books and magazines) and fabric artist (art quilts) Founder of International Nonprofit organization for family bonding Have been on SSI since August 1998 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 6, 2001 Report Share Posted September 6, 2001 > My name is Heidi from the UK<snip>Last year I move to the other > side of the country 2 be with my boyfriend.Things ave > been a bit up and down since then as my man has found > this a very difficult thing 2 cope with it has split > us up twice this year at the mo we r back 2 gether and > he is trying to understand.only time will tell.<BR> > Heidi<BR> Hi Heidi As a veteran of 3 relationships lost to FM, I feel your pain. Just know that the stress on you, if the relationship can't move forward to a better place, will make your FM worse and it will be that much harder to make any move to get better and make your life better. I left my husband after putting up with his lack of support (after I got FM) for several years. By the time I left I was a total wreck and it is a miracle I could get myself out of there. After leaving I was hospitalized for a month, had to have an emergency surgery and ended up with complications, a lot due to all of the emotional pain I had been subjected to on top of the FM for so many years. It was hard, but I found it much easier to get support from others, create a life that helped me heal, and do for myself than to deal with the constant wearing down of my spirit. I was too attached to the place we lived, our lifestyle, etc. to leave when I should have. Never again. I tried 2 more times, both failures, in spite of the fact that these were good men, our relationship was good in all other ways, and they were supportive; but after several months they bailed because they couldn't handle being with someone who had limitations they didn't have. I'm not suggesting to leave, just saying, you deserve to be taken care of, loved, and supported, even if it is YOU who is doing that for yourself for a little while in the interim while you draw other people to help you. I found that when I was with the men I was with, my friends and other support people disappeared, thinking I was getting all the support and help I needed from my husband; they never realized I'd never felt so lonely in my life. You are not alone, you can make it through this, and one of the most important things I've ever done for myself was to have the courage to get rid of any people in my life who I felt were contributing to the loss of my self esteem, neglecting me, or insinuating I was lazy, crazy, or unstable. love, Vimala (pronounced VEE-ma-la) Louisville/Boulder, Colo USA Age 49 1/2 Single mom of married daughter (23) and son (25) Have had FM since 1989 Have a 17 year old kitty which is the daughter of my own healing cat Lucy, who died very recently of cancer Writer (books and magazines) and fabric artist (art quilts) Founder of International Nonprofit organization for family bonding Have been on SSI since August 1998 ******************************* > > Hi Vimala, > > I'm reading about your situation, and I wonder if contacting your > Congressperson might be of any benefit. Aside from helping to enact Federal > legislation, your Congressional representative is there to assist you with > issues like this. It may not pan out, but what have you got to lose? > > Love and best wishes, > ee Hi ee I haven't tried this but I'll definitely put it on my list. Getting to these places that make you wait hours to talk to somebody who then tells you to talk to somebody else is almost impossible, trying to work two jobs and deal with horrific pain all the time, and a home situation with ex-fiancee that is so tense you can cut it with a knife. love, Vimala **************** > > Subject: RE: Hello > > Char, > I think most of us know how you feel. After several months of waiting, I'm > finally going to get into the Rhuematologist in a few weeks. Hubby wants to > know if I want him to come with me. To be honest, I really don't know. Any > ideas, anyone? Also, a good friend of mine that is also a Dr., and is the > one who helped me drive puppy home, had a talk with me about asking for a > handicap sticker for my car. She felt that it would help to some degree, > and that I should try to get all the help I can. I talked to my husband, > and he told me that he'd been thinking of it for awhile, but didn't know how > I'd handle it. I still don't know how I feel about it. > Carol Hi Carol If your husband is extremely supportive and can be a reminder/advocate for you, it would be helpful to have him there. It says, this is impacting our family to the point where he is willing to come in and try to get some answers. He can verify that you are in tremendous pain and it's really hard for him to see you like this. However, if your husband has any drug phobias or misinformation (such as, nobody should EVER take any type of morphine) or would not be actively supportive, it's better to leave him home IMHO. Regarding the handicap placard, I got one, and I have been really glad ever since. Especially in the winter, you go to the store, you're in a flare up, it's icy, and the lot is full so you have to park far away, which means risking a fall and also hauling the groceries across miles of parking lot. Same thing with any kind of shopping, the more you can cut down on the amount of time spent walking around and/or carrying bags, the less pain you will have the next day or the day after that. It is NOT a moral thing. Just because your disease doesn't " show " as in " wheelchair, " doesn't mean you don't deserve any help you can get to make your life easier. FM pain is PAIN, don't let anybody diminish it. love, Vimala (pronounced VEE-ma-la) Louisville/Boulder, Colo Age 49 1/2 Single mom of married daughter (23) and son (25) Have had FM since 1989 Have a 17 year old kitty which is the daughter of my own healing cat Lucy, who died very recently of cancer Writer (books and magazines) and fabric artist (art quilts) Founder of International Nonprofit organization for family bonding Have been on SSI since August 1998 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2002 Report Share Posted July 12, 2002 Hi Trina, I am so sorry about your dog. I know what it feels like, I hope your puppy helps out. I am curious, did you have to take insulin with your other pregnancy (s)? I did, and I'm hoping that that doesn't guarantee that I will have to again. Take care. > Hi ladies! I haven't posted in awhile. This has been a very busy > summer. This group has really grown. I can usually check the posts > once a day but lately that seems to not be enough. I think that is > great!! I wanted to say welcome and congrats to all the new pregos > and congrats to the new mommy's and babies. > > My sugars are still holding out fine (thank the Lord). I feel great > and am not hating pregnancy this time around. It looks like my c- > section date will be Sep.16 unless my sugars warrant one for sooner. > I am going on a plane trip next week with my best girl friend to a > stamp convention and am really looking forward to the break from > reality. > > Over the 4th of July holiday my dog was hit by a car and killed. I > was devasted. I have never really been a pet person but I have never > lost one so tragically either. We were visiting family and it > happened there. We really thought he was going to make it, but > didn't. I cried and threw up so much I was severly dehydrated and > having lots of cramps and contractions. We came home 2 days later > and at the advice of everyone, went and got another puppy. He is the > same breed as the first. He has really helped fill a gap. He will > never replace the first one but he has helped. > > I know this was long but being pregnant and all you know how > emotional we can be. > > Thanks, > Trina > ECS 9/16 > Baby #4 > girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2002 Report Share Posted July 12, 2002 Hi Trina, I am so sorry about your dog. I know what it feels like, I hope your puppy helps out. I am curious, did you have to take insulin with your other pregnancy (s)? I did, and I'm hoping that that doesn't guarantee that I will have to again. Take care. > Hi ladies! I haven't posted in awhile. This has been a very busy > summer. This group has really grown. I can usually check the posts > once a day but lately that seems to not be enough. I think that is > great!! I wanted to say welcome and congrats to all the new pregos > and congrats to the new mommy's and babies. > > My sugars are still holding out fine (thank the Lord). I feel great > and am not hating pregnancy this time around. It looks like my c- > section date will be Sep.16 unless my sugars warrant one for sooner. > I am going on a plane trip next week with my best girl friend to a > stamp convention and am really looking forward to the break from > reality. > > Over the 4th of July holiday my dog was hit by a car and killed. I > was devasted. I have never really been a pet person but I have never > lost one so tragically either. We were visiting family and it > happened there. We really thought he was going to make it, but > didn't. I cried and threw up so much I was severly dehydrated and > having lots of cramps and contractions. We came home 2 days later > and at the advice of everyone, went and got another puppy. He is the > same breed as the first. He has really helped fill a gap. He will > never replace the first one but he has helped. > > I know this was long but being pregnant and all you know how > emotional we can be. > > Thanks, > Trina > ECS 9/16 > Baby #4 > girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2002 Report Share Posted July 13, 2002 , With my last pregnancy I was on insulin injections 4 times a day. I am 29 1/2 weeks and my sugars are great this time. They are even on the low side. I do finger pricks 3 to 4 times a day this pregnancy just to make sure everything is in control and the docs like to read my numbers when I see them. Trina > > Hi ladies! I haven't posted in awhile. This has been a very busy > > summer. This group has really grown. I can usually check the > posts > > once a day but lately that seems to not be enough. I think that is > > great!! I wanted to say welcome and congrats to all the new pregos > > and congrats to the new mommy's and babies. > > > > My sugars are still holding out fine (thank the Lord). I feel > great > > and am not hating pregnancy this time around. It looks like my c- > > section date will be Sep.16 unless my sugars warrant one for > sooner. > > I am going on a plane trip next week with my best girl friend to a > > stamp convention and am really looking forward to the break from > > reality. > > > > Over the 4th of July holiday my dog was hit by a car and killed. I > > was devasted. I have never really been a pet person but I have > never > > lost one so tragically either. We were visiting family and it > > happened there. We really thought he was going to make it, but > > didn't. I cried and threw up so much I was severly dehydrated and > > having lots of cramps and contractions. We came home 2 days later > > and at the advice of everyone, went and got another puppy. He is > the > > same breed as the first. He has really helped fill a gap. He will > > never replace the first one but he has helped. > > > > I know this was long but being pregnant and all you know how > > emotional we can be. > > > > Thanks, > > Trina > > ECS 9/16 > > Baby #4 > > girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2002 Report Share Posted July 13, 2002 , I was at 11 months out when I got pregnant and only 7 lbs. from my goal weight. My doc said it was fine since I was so close to goal. I really didn't expect to become pregnant the first try since I had such a hard time in the past but it was fine. I am not following the diabetic pregnancy diet since our diet since WLS is even more controlled than that. Trina WLS 2/12/01 EDD 9/16 #4 > > > > Hi ladies! I haven't posted in awhile. This has been a very > > busy > > > > summer. This group has really grown. I can usually check the > > > posts > > > > once a day but lately that seems to not be enough. I think > that > > is > > > > great!! I wanted to say welcome and congrats to all the new > > pregos > > > > and congrats to the new mommy's and babies. > > > > > > > > My sugars are still holding out fine (thank the Lord). I feel > > > great > > > > and am not hating pregnancy this time around. It looks like my > c- > > > > section date will be Sep.16 unless my sugars warrant one for > > > sooner. > > > > I am going on a plane trip next week with my best girl friend > to > > a > > > > stamp convention and am really looking forward to the break > from > > > > reality. > > > > > > > > Over the 4th of July holiday my dog was hit by a car and > killed. > > I > > > > was devasted. I have never really been a pet person but I have > > > never > > > > lost one so tragically either. We were visiting family and it > > > > happened there. We really thought he was going to make it, but > > > > didn't. I cried and threw up so much I was severly dehydrated > > and > > > > having lots of cramps and contractions. We came home 2 days > > later > > > > and at the advice of everyone, went and got another puppy. He > is > > > the > > > > same breed as the first. He has really helped fill a gap. He > > will > > > > never replace the first one but he has helped. > > > > > > > > I know this was long but being pregnant and all you know how > > > > emotional we can be. > > > > > > > > Thanks, > > > > Trina > > > > ECS 9/16 > > > > Baby #4 > > > > girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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