Re: have your cake and eat it, too

July 6, 2011

Tai, Boy can I understand and relate to this. I did the same thing with chocolate Dove pieces. Conflicted between " I could eat just one " and " I can have as many as I wanted " , I ate as many as I wanted. I did stop because I started feeling yucky, but it was after I had eaten quite a few. The conflict for me is between unconditional permission to eat any food and listening to my body. I tend to " forget " the other caveat of eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. I was not hungry when I ate the chocolate. I had just eaten a full meal. It was an emotional reaction to the events of the day. I have gone back to re-reading IE, especially Chapter 7 right now. I am having difficulty reconciling the concepts of unconditional permission and not making myself sick. Is that still diet mentality? And when and how does that change over to making peace with food? If I know certain foods are unhealthy, is it ok to give myself unconditional permission to eat them? How do I make peace with that. If I choose to eat healthy foods and reject unhealthy ones is that the same mentality of " good " food versus " bad food " ? I am going back to that chapter 7 again. Maybe this time something will click. Sandy

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 6, 2011

Tai, Boy can I understand and relate to this. I did the same thing with chocolate Dove pieces. Conflicted between " I could eat just one " and " I can have as many as I wanted " , I ate as many as I wanted. I did stop because I started feeling yucky, but it was after I had eaten quite a few. The conflict for me is between unconditional permission to eat any food and listening to my body. I tend to " forget " the other caveat of eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. I was not hungry when I ate the chocolate. I had just eaten a full meal. It was an emotional reaction to the events of the day. I have gone back to re-reading IE, especially Chapter 7 right now. I am having difficulty reconciling the concepts of unconditional permission and not making myself sick. Is that still diet mentality? And when and how does that change over to making peace with food? If I know certain foods are unhealthy, is it ok to give myself unconditional permission to eat them? How do I make peace with that. If I choose to eat healthy foods and reject unhealthy ones is that the same mentality of " good " food versus " bad food " ? I am going back to that chapter 7 again. Maybe this time something will click. Sandy

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 6, 2011

Tai, Boy can I understand and relate to this. I did the same thing with chocolate Dove pieces. Conflicted between " I could eat just one " and " I can have as many as I wanted " , I ate as many as I wanted. I did stop because I started feeling yucky, but it was after I had eaten quite a few. The conflict for me is between unconditional permission to eat any food and listening to my body. I tend to " forget " the other caveat of eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. I was not hungry when I ate the chocolate. I had just eaten a full meal. It was an emotional reaction to the events of the day. I have gone back to re-reading IE, especially Chapter 7 right now. I am having difficulty reconciling the concepts of unconditional permission and not making myself sick. Is that still diet mentality? And when and how does that change over to making peace with food? If I know certain foods are unhealthy, is it ok to give myself unconditional permission to eat them? How do I make peace with that. If I choose to eat healthy foods and reject unhealthy ones is that the same mentality of " good " food versus " bad food " ? I am going back to that chapter 7 again. Maybe this time something will click. Sandy

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 6, 2011

Tai, I'm a 'baker' who LOVES to eat what I make too. I wrung my hands at first

with IE since I feared that if I made cookies, cakes and pies etc., that I would

eat and eat and eat until these were GONE. (Old habit) I figured out that I was

triggered more by 'waste not' and SEEing the item than the taste and body

enjoyment (which was more ODing on them than savoring). So I decided that

instead of making a layer cake I made 'mini' cakes which I could freeze and

frost a I enjoyed one. This worked well for me with cookies since I could freeze

baggies of 10 or so cookies and not feel like I needed to eat the 3+ dozen I

just baked.

I have since heard back from others how this reminded them of restricting

suggestions they got from dieting. Yet because it was my own decision, it has

remained a working way for me. Hope you find your way too.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily

consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last

week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself

for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

>

July 6, 2011

I don't feel good about myself when I eat cake either, but I'm working on not feeling bad about myself when I eat it. That's what this program has done for me. At least, it has lessened that. I look forward to the day when eating cake is just...eating cake! Right now, I know it represents something else, and I even have something of a clue about what that is, and I'm working on letting it be OK to eat cake for that reason .... when I'm hungry. That's the best I can do in this moment. It's either that, or go back to restricting myself from it, then eating way too much when I'm not hungry, and hating myself. For now those seem to be my options. It's become clear to me that NOT eating cake is not an option. RainSubject: have your cake and eat it, tooTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 8:19 PM

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 6, 2011

I don't feel good about myself when I eat cake either, but I'm working on not feeling bad about myself when I eat it. That's what this program has done for me. At least, it has lessened that. I look forward to the day when eating cake is just...eating cake! Right now, I know it represents something else, and I even have something of a clue about what that is, and I'm working on letting it be OK to eat cake for that reason .... when I'm hungry. That's the best I can do in this moment. It's either that, or go back to restricting myself from it, then eating way too much when I'm not hungry, and hating myself. For now those seem to be my options. It's become clear to me that NOT eating cake is not an option. RainSubject: have your cake and eat it, tooTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 8:19 PM

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 6, 2011

I don't feel good about myself when I eat cake either, but I'm working on not feeling bad about myself when I eat it. That's what this program has done for me. At least, it has lessened that. I look forward to the day when eating cake is just...eating cake! Right now, I know it represents something else, and I even have something of a clue about what that is, and I'm working on letting it be OK to eat cake for that reason .... when I'm hungry. That's the best I can do in this moment. It's either that, or go back to restricting myself from it, then eating way too much when I'm not hungry, and hating myself. For now those seem to be my options. It's become clear to me that NOT eating cake is not an option. RainSubject: have your cake and eat it, tooTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >Date: Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 8:19 PM

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 6, 2011

Rain, I have to keep asking myself " am I hungry? " . If the answer is " yes " then I can go ahead and eat. If the answer is " no " then I need to sit with the feeling for a while. I am not doing this very well yet though. I am working on the process. And your observation that NOT eating cake (or whatever) is not an option. Sandy

I don't feel good about myself when I eat cake either, but I'm working on not feeling bad about myself when I eat it. That's what this program has done for me. At least, it has lessened that. I look forward to the day when eating cake is just...eating cake! Right now, I know it represents something else, and I even have something of a clue about what that is, and I'm working on letting it be OK to eat cake for that reason .... when I'm hungry. That's the best I can do in this moment. It's either that, or go back to restricting myself from it, then eating way too much when I'm not hungry, and hating myself. For now those seem to be my options. It's become clear to me that NOT eating cake is not an option.

Rain

Subject: have your cake and eat it, tooTo: " IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >

Date: Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 8:19 PM

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 6, 2011

, when we were kids, we had to depend upon our parents for food. My mother carefully watched what I ate. I had no choice and for the most part remained thin and gorgeous. Once I was on my own, however, I ate because the food was there, it was different, I never was in control of the food I took in, now I was, and ate the burgers, shakes and other stuff which I thought tasted good. Wot a mess. It took me a long time to understand about nutrition, even though at home I was well nourished. Never did my mother allow me to sit with a bag of chips. N E V E R. It was not in my vocabulary. Never imagined or thought about it. Today I kind of ate what I wanted. Did I make the greatest choices? I tried. I fell short in my own mind. I did not diet. But I felt I ate when I was hungry and basically stopped when full and tried

making decent enough choices. It's kind of saddening. But I'm trying, and I'm sure you are, too. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 6:42 AMSubject: Re: have your cake and eat it, too

Tai, Boy can I understand and relate to this. I did the same thing with chocolate Dove pieces. Conflicted between "I could eat just one" and "I can have as many as I wanted", I ate as many as I wanted. I did stop because I started feeling yucky, but it was after I had eaten quite a few. The conflict for me is between unconditional permission to eat any food and listening to my body. I tend to "forget" the other caveat of eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. I was not hungry when I ate the chocolate. I had just eaten a full meal. It was an emotional reaction to the events of the day. I have gone back to re-reading IE, especially Chapter 7 right now. I am having difficulty reconciling the concepts of unconditional permission and not making myself sick. Is that still diet mentality? And when and how does that change over to making peace with food? If I know certain foods are unhealthy, is it

ok to give myself unconditional permission to eat them? How do I make peace with that. If I choose to eat healthy foods and reject unhealthy ones is that the same mentality of "good" food versus "bad food"? I am going back to that chapter 7 again. Maybe this time something will click. Sandy

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 6, 2011

It is sad, in my mind, that we would have to go through this process which requires so much thought about the simple act of eating. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 1:23 PMSubject: Re: have your cake and eat it, too

Rain, I have to keep asking myself "am I hungry?". If the answer is "yes" then I can go ahead and eat. If the answer is "no" then I need to sit with the feeling for a while. I am not doing this very well yet though. I am working on the process. And your observation that NOT eating cake (or whatever) is not an option. Sandy

I don't feel good about myself when I eat cake either, but I'm working on not feeling bad about myself when I eat it. That's what this program has done for me. At least, it has lessened that. I look forward to the day when eating cake is just...eating cake! Right now, I know it represents something else, and I even have something of a clue about what that is, and I'm working on letting it be OK to eat cake for that reason .... when I'm hungry. That's the best I can do in this moment. It's either that, or go back to restricting myself from it, then eating way too much when I'm not hungry, and hating myself. For now those seem to be my options. It's become clear to me that NOT eating cake is not an option.

Rain

Subject: have your cake and eat it, tooTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >

Date: Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 8:19 PM

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 7, 2011

Rain, going back to this subject for a minute, cake always represents something to me, whether I have a little or a lot. I just haven't figured out what. Maybe it's the sugar and combination of wheat, oil, and sugar. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 1:23 PMSubject: Re:

have your cake and eat it, too

Rain, I have to keep asking myself "am I hungry?". If the answer is "yes" then I can go ahead and eat. If the answer is "no" then I need to sit with the feeling for a while. I am not doing this very well yet though. I am working on the process. And your observation that NOT eating cake (or whatever) is not an option. Sandy

I don't feel good about myself when I eat cake either, but I'm working on not feeling bad about myself when I eat it. That's what this program has done for me. At least, it has lessened that. I look forward to the day when eating cake is just...eating cake! Right now, I know it represents something else, and I even have something of a clue about what that is, and I'm working on letting it be OK to eat cake for that reason .... when I'm hungry. That's the best I can do in this moment. It's either that, or go back to restricting myself from it, then eating way too much when I'm not hungry, and hating myself. For now those seem to be my options. It's become clear to me that NOT eating cake is not an option.

Rain

Subject: have your cake and eat it, tooTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >

Date: Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 8:19 PM

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 7, 2011

Rain, going back to this subject for a minute, cake always represents something to me, whether I have a little or a lot. I just haven't figured out what. Maybe it's the sugar and combination of wheat, oil, and sugar. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 1:23 PMSubject: Re:

have your cake and eat it, too

Rain, I have to keep asking myself "am I hungry?". If the answer is "yes" then I can go ahead and eat. If the answer is "no" then I need to sit with the feeling for a while. I am not doing this very well yet though. I am working on the process. And your observation that NOT eating cake (or whatever) is not an option. Sandy

I don't feel good about myself when I eat cake either, but I'm working on not feeling bad about myself when I eat it. That's what this program has done for me. At least, it has lessened that. I look forward to the day when eating cake is just...eating cake! Right now, I know it represents something else, and I even have something of a clue about what that is, and I'm working on letting it be OK to eat cake for that reason .... when I'm hungry. That's the best I can do in this moment. It's either that, or go back to restricting myself from it, then eating way too much when I'm not hungry, and hating myself. For now those seem to be my options. It's become clear to me that NOT eating cake is not an option.

Rain

Subject: have your cake and eat it, tooTo: "IntuitiveEating_Support " <IntuitiveEating_Support >

Date: Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 8:19 PM

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 7, 2011

Yes, thank you, Katcha. Good advice. I'm working on it, because being a more conscious eater does help. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 10:49 AMSubject: Re: have your cake and eat it, too

Tai, I'm a 'baker' who LOVES to eat what I make too. I wrung my hands at first with IE since I feared that if I made cookies, cakes and pies etc., that I would eat and eat and eat until these were GONE. (Old habit) I figured out that I was triggered more by 'waste not' and SEEing the item than the taste and body enjoyment (which was more ODing on them than savoring). So I decided that instead of making a layer cake I made 'mini' cakes which I could freeze and frost a I enjoyed one. This worked well for me with cookies since I could freeze baggies of 10 or so cookies and not feel like I needed to eat the 3+ dozen I just baked.

I have since heard back from others how this reminded them of restricting suggestions they got from dieting. Yet because it was my own decision, it has remained a working way for me. Hope you find your way too.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

>

July 7, 2011

Yes, thank you, Katcha. Good advice. I'm working on it, because being a more conscious eater does help. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 10:49 AMSubject: Re: have your cake and eat it, too

Tai, I'm a 'baker' who LOVES to eat what I make too. I wrung my hands at first with IE since I feared that if I made cookies, cakes and pies etc., that I would eat and eat and eat until these were GONE. (Old habit) I figured out that I was triggered more by 'waste not' and SEEing the item than the taste and body enjoyment (which was more ODing on them than savoring). So I decided that instead of making a layer cake I made 'mini' cakes which I could freeze and frost a I enjoyed one. This worked well for me with cookies since I could freeze baggies of 10 or so cookies and not feel like I needed to eat the 3+ dozen I just baked.

I have since heard back from others how this reminded them of restricting suggestions they got from dieting. Yet because it was my own decision, it has remained a working way for me. Hope you find your way too.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

>

July 7, 2011

Katcha, I collect cookbooks. I love to look at the ingredients, and I play with the idea that one of these days I will be a baker. :-) TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 10:49 AMSubject: Re: have your cake and eat it, too

Tai, I'm a 'baker' who LOVES to eat what I make too. I wrung my hands at first with IE since I feared that if I made cookies, cakes and pies etc., that I would eat and eat and eat until these were GONE. (Old habit) I figured out that I was triggered more by 'waste not' and SEEing the item than the taste and body enjoyment (which was more ODing on them than savoring). So I decided that instead of making a layer cake I made 'mini' cakes which I could freeze and frost a I enjoyed one. This worked well for me with cookies since I could freeze baggies of 10 or so cookies and not feel like I needed to eat the 3+ dozen I just baked.

I have since heard back from others how this reminded them of restricting suggestions they got from dieting. Yet because it was my own decision, it has remained a working way for me. Hope you find your way too.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

>

July 7, 2011

I just wanted to comment on the "my parents/mother/etc affected my relationship with food" remarks. My best friend is naturally thin. With no effort, she is the size that our culture expects. In grad school she told me her Mother affected her relationship with some foods, specifically ho-hos. She could not leave them alone. She overate them but she never got fat because she didn't overeat. She just ate them instead of other things. Now she is over it. She doesn't have a high metabolism, she just listens to her body. I found this helpful because it allowed me to let go of blaming someone else. I am responsible for what goes in my mouth, not my mother or anyone else. If I make a less than stellar choice, it's my choice. If I over eat, it's my choice. Patti

, when we were kids, we had to depend upon our parents for food. My mother carefully watched what I ate. I had no choice and for the most part remained thin and gorgeous. Once I was on my own, however, I ate because the food was there, it was different, I never was in control of the food I took in, now I was, and ate the burgers, shakes and other stuff which I thought tasted good. Wot a mess. It took me a long time to understand about nutrition, even though at home I was well nourished. Never did my mother allow me to sit with a bag of chips. N E V E R. It was not in my vocabulary. Never imagined or thought about it. Today I kind of ate what I wanted. Did I make the greatest choices? I tried. I fell short in my own mind. I did not diet. But I felt I ate when I was hungry and basically stopped when full and tried

making decent enough choices. It's kind of saddening. But I'm trying, and I'm sure you are, too. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 6:42 AMSubject: Re: have your cake and eat it, too

Tai, Boy can I understand and relate to this. I did the same thing with chocolate Dove pieces. Conflicted between "I could eat just one" and "I can have as many as I wanted", I ate as many as I wanted. I did stop because I started feeling yucky, but it was after I had eaten quite a few. The conflict for me is between unconditional permission to eat any food and listening to my body. I tend to "forget" the other caveat of eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. I was not hungry when I ate the chocolate. I had just eaten a full meal. It was an emotional reaction to the events of the day. I have gone back to re-reading IE, especially Chapter 7 right now. I am having difficulty reconciling the concepts of unconditional permission and not making myself sick. Is that still diet mentality? And when and how does that change over to making peace with food? If I know certain foods are unhealthy, is it

ok to give myself unconditional permission to eat them? How do I make peace with that. If I choose to eat healthy foods and reject unhealthy ones is that the same mentality of "good" food versus "bad food"? I am going back to that chapter 7 again. Maybe this time something will click. Sandy

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 7, 2011

Tai, That's all we can do is keep on doing what we can one small step at a time. Maybe one day at a time, or one meal/snack at a time, especially when the big picture seems overwhelming. Sandy

, when we were kids, we had to depend upon our parents for food. My mother carefully watched what I ate. I had no choice and for the most part remained thin and gorgeous. Once I was on my own, however, I ate because the food was there, it was different, I never was in control of the food I took in, now I was, and ate the burgers, shakes and other stuff which I thought tasted good. Wot a mess. It took me a long time to understand about nutrition, even though at home I was well nourished. Never did my mother allow me to sit with a bag of chips. N E V E R. It was not in my vocabulary. Never imagined or thought about it. Today I kind of ate what I wanted. Did I make the greatest choices? I tried. I fell short in my own mind. I did not diet. But I felt I ate when I was hungry and basically stopped when full and tried

making decent enough choices. It's kind of saddening. But I'm trying, and I'm sure you are, too. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 6:42 AM

Subject: Re: have your cake and eat it, too

Tai, Boy can I understand and relate to this. I did the same thing with chocolate Dove pieces. Conflicted between " I could eat just one " and " I can have as many as I wanted " , I ate as many as I wanted. I did stop because I started feeling yucky, but it was after I had eaten quite a few. The conflict for me is between unconditional permission to eat any food and listening to my body. I tend to " forget " the other caveat of eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. I was not hungry when I ate the chocolate. I had just eaten a full meal. It was an emotional reaction to the events of the day. I have gone back to re-reading IE, especially Chapter 7 right now. I am having difficulty reconciling the concepts of unconditional permission and not making myself sick. Is that still diet mentality? And when and how does that change over to making peace with food? If I know certain foods are unhealthy, is it

ok to give myself unconditional permission to eat them? How do I make peace with that. If I choose to eat healthy foods and reject unhealthy ones is that the same mentality of " good " food versus " bad food " ? I am going back to that chapter 7 again. Maybe this time something will click. Sandy

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 7, 2011

Tai, That's all we can do is keep on doing what we can one small step at a time. Maybe one day at a time, or one meal/snack at a time, especially when the big picture seems overwhelming. Sandy

, when we were kids, we had to depend upon our parents for food. My mother carefully watched what I ate. I had no choice and for the most part remained thin and gorgeous. Once I was on my own, however, I ate because the food was there, it was different, I never was in control of the food I took in, now I was, and ate the burgers, shakes and other stuff which I thought tasted good. Wot a mess. It took me a long time to understand about nutrition, even though at home I was well nourished. Never did my mother allow me to sit with a bag of chips. N E V E R. It was not in my vocabulary. Never imagined or thought about it. Today I kind of ate what I wanted. Did I make the greatest choices? I tried. I fell short in my own mind. I did not diet. But I felt I ate when I was hungry and basically stopped when full and tried

making decent enough choices. It's kind of saddening. But I'm trying, and I'm sure you are, too. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, July 6, 2011 6:42 AM

Subject: Re: have your cake and eat it, too

Tai, Boy can I understand and relate to this. I did the same thing with chocolate Dove pieces. Conflicted between " I could eat just one " and " I can have as many as I wanted " , I ate as many as I wanted. I did stop because I started feeling yucky, but it was after I had eaten quite a few. The conflict for me is between unconditional permission to eat any food and listening to my body. I tend to " forget " the other caveat of eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. I was not hungry when I ate the chocolate. I had just eaten a full meal. It was an emotional reaction to the events of the day. I have gone back to re-reading IE, especially Chapter 7 right now. I am having difficulty reconciling the concepts of unconditional permission and not making myself sick. Is that still diet mentality? And when and how does that change over to making peace with food? If I know certain foods are unhealthy, is it

ok to give myself unconditional permission to eat them? How do I make peace with that. If I choose to eat healthy foods and reject unhealthy ones is that the same mentality of " good " food versus " bad food " ? I am going back to that chapter 7 again. Maybe this time something will click. Sandy

I love a certain kind of cake. Funny thing is that I don't necessarily consider it a sign of self-love for me to eat a lot of cake. I just did. Last week I made a cake and I ate it. :-) I liked the cake, but did not like myself for eating that much cake. Sad, ain't it? Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Tuesday, July 5, 2011 10:29 AMSubject: Re: for Rain

Rain

I just reread my post to you, sorry if it sounded like lecturing. I just wanted to commiserate.

best

Foggy

>

> Foggy, yes I am trying to date, and I just hate the process. Unfortunately, there's not another way to move from being single into being in a relationship. And it does cause me a lot of emotional turmoil. I know that cake represents celebration for me. I'm very careful to stop when I'm full though. I do need to find another way to love and nourish my emotional self.

Rain

>

> for Rain

>

> Rain

> I believe you posted that you were dating? me too, for 2 years now. A disappointing date is NOT an excuse to overeat. Neither is no date at all.

> This is an urge to feed myself, to love myself, to nourish myself, when I'm feeling the lack of love. I need to find other ways to do this.

>

> Just another chance to grow into the healthy adult I was born to be.

> Happy Independence Day

> Foggy

>

July 7, 2011

How about emotional association Tai? Was cake only allowed for like birthdays

when you were a child? Do you associate cake with 'celebration' or 'treating'

yourself? Does cake make a close your eyes and savor reaction for you? There is

wheat, oil and sugar in bread too, does that produce the same reaction?

I found that I mixed emotional (wanting) hunger in with physical body hunger

when I felt 'hungry'. Sorting these out from each other was hard work for me. It

helped for me to find that even 'natural IE eaters' don't do this 100% of the

time either! Each little baby step I made when I first began working on this

felt like such a victory! I do hope you will share and CROW about yours here. We

all get such a boost from those too.

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Rain, going back to this subject for a minute, cake always represents

something to me, whether I have a little or a lot. I just haven't figured out

what. Maybe it's the sugar and combination of wheat, oil, and sugar. Tai

>

July 7, 2011