Re: It's almost Thanksgiving, so that means...

[Guest guest]

Ok Fiona, I have to tell you I am laughing so hard while drinking my coffee

here!

You make me wanna cry and laugh at the same time.

I think having a sense of humor about all this is salutory, at least for me.

So THANK YOU for your post, for sharing the crazy stuff, and OMG I relate so

much to what you wrote.

Especially this part:

" And as usual, we say goodbye, have a good day, and she starts a new

conversation. This time, the end-of-the-call conversation began with her saying

, " Sigh! I'm so bored... " I just said, " ok, bye! " And hung up.

>

> I know to some who might be new here, that seems cold. But it's just my

mother's way of asking me to fix her pain. Again. Fix it. Be with me. Hold my

hand. And I just can't.

> "

It's like something I would say word for word about my BP Mom.

I had her on the phone yesterday, she returned a call and I was just sitting

down for lunch so the phone call didn't last long.

I pick up the phone, in my normal happy go lucky voice -it was a beautiful day

after all!- and I'm like " Hi Mom, how are you? " .

Her voice is just mile away from me, she sounds like a mix of pissed off, tired,

low energy, and also something else... Something like " how dare you sound so

happy when your Mom is not doint good?!! "

She is like... " yeah, I am so-so, you know... " I then feel like I have to tone

it down with the cheerful voice, actually I shouldn't but I did. I told her I

just sat down for lunch, and asked her if I could call her when I'm done (which

is something I would have *never* done a few years ago!), she didn't seem to

like it so much, and we arrange for a phone call today.

I am so DONE with fixing her pain, taking care of her emotionally, soothe her

pain.

I am so SICK of it!!!! You have no idea. Well, no actually you totally do! ;-)

The button has been pushed too many times.

And on top of things, it's a problem that can't be fixed by me.

Coralie

[Guest guest]

" I was too young at the time to realize that what she really was trying to say

was that I should only allow HER to push me around!

>

Duh... lol!!! It feels strange to put one's schedule or needs ahead of her. It's

like I'm training a not so use muscle lol!

But I like it, it feels different.

I think little things mean a lot, so if it's just to pick up the phone when it

is convenient for you, or shorten a conversation when you feel like it, then

fine.

I think probably because of my upbringing I have a habbit to sort of please

everyone around me. And this too, is slowly changing.

My landlord wanted to do some repair work in the kitchen + bathroom, and he

scheduled a visit for a day where I got sick & was laying in bed, so I had to

cancel on D Day.

Big deal for me, years ago I would have suck it up, in fear of inconveniencing

him.

Even though my landlord lives one floor down.

I think with my BP Mom, part of it is me not being as afraid I used to be of her

tantrums, because I know better what they are now. Part of a decease.

[Guest guest]

" I was too young at the time to realize that what she really was trying to say

was that I should only allow HER to push me around!

>

Duh... lol!!! It feels strange to put one's schedule or needs ahead of her. It's

like I'm training a not so use muscle lol!

But I like it, it feels different.

I think little things mean a lot, so if it's just to pick up the phone when it

is convenient for you, or shorten a conversation when you feel like it, then

fine.

I think probably because of my upbringing I have a habbit to sort of please

everyone around me. And this too, is slowly changing.

My landlord wanted to do some repair work in the kitchen + bathroom, and he

scheduled a visit for a day where I got sick & was laying in bed, so I had to

cancel on D Day.

Big deal for me, years ago I would have suck it up, in fear of inconveniencing

him.

Even though my landlord lives one floor down.

I think with my BP Mom, part of it is me not being as afraid I used to be of her

tantrums, because I know better what they are now. Part of a decease.