Guest guest Posted November 8, 2010 Report Share Posted November 8, 2010 I only know my mom could never love 2 animals at once, and she always had at least 2. One was golden and the other was the hated animal. Kind of like she treated me (golden) and my sister (dirt). A couple years ago, before I saw her for what she is, I rescued (i.e., stole) a cat from a dangerous & neglected situation. I already had 2 cats, but figured we could manage 3. I loved that kitty, she was so sweet and loving. My mother petitioned to take her off my hands, begged me really. Mom was acting like a 'regular' then, and I finally gave in. I told her if it ever didn't work out I wanted her back. About a year in she started good cat/bad cat again. I suggested taking the cat back 3 or 4 times since, but they always refused. This summer while we were in Canada together the cat 'disappeared.' When I questioned more about it, my dad all but admitted to putting her to sleep. Mom shushed him. So no, BPDs take care of animals the same way they do their human offspring: horribly! > > Guys, > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > More later > proflaf > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2010 Report Share Posted November 8, 2010 My nada is practically an animal hoarder. She always treated her animals better than people, though. Except that she doesn't have enough time for ALL of them, so some of them end up with not enough socialization. I've never noticed her splitting them like she did with me and my brother, though, which is surprising... I currently have a dog that she gave me due to having too many. The dog is actually the best dog I've ever owned! My brother took another one of her dogs (my dog's mother actually) and he says she is great too. She also wants to stop breeding her cats (they aren't selling in this economy at all) so she just gave me one of those too. She is a very sweet cat. My other cats and dog are rescues from the street and shelter. I am also training some ponies she had that she did NOT socialize enough. She's having to sell them due to financial hard times and possibly losing her house. But I've been able to train them just fine in the past year while keeping them at my place so they are much better now. They didn't seem abused in any way, just not had enough attention. I still am having no luck selling them for her though... (Yes I have 4 animals from her, and she STILL has too many) Casey > > > > Guys, > > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > > More later > > proflaf > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2010 Report Share Posted November 8, 2010 Glad to see I " m not the only one who sees the pattern, my nada had 4, 2 cats and 2 dogs. NOt sure how the dogs made out since I was NC and couldn't take them, however the poodle when I knew her was a problem child in terms of biting, I would probably had the put her down because she's old and nasty. ONe of those nada dear blamed me for poor training but I worked with the dog while she let it get away with anything when she had it and wondered why it didn't behave, plus she projected all kinds of problems on her that oince someone else had her they stopped treating and she was fine. THe cats I suspect were underfed, one is recovering nicely and the ohter is coming around, still slightly unpredictable, but getting better and trusting me and MIL better actually went up to MIL last week. NO wonder Sherree likes men, my dad wsa stable, must have been horrible after he died and she just had nada to contend with.  Most parents would have let me keep Tabby T since she was my baby, slept with me came out for me when I moved out, not nada, she had to keep her, well Joke is on her and I have my lttle Tabby T back, she's the one that doesn't appear to have as much damage emotionally as the other one. IN fact she looked happy when she recognized me like yeah mommy came to get me finally. Poor thing was so SKINNY.  more later proflaf Subject: Re: BPD and Animals To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Monday, November 8, 2010, 8:27 PM  I only know my mom could never love 2 animals at once, and she always had at least 2. One was golden and the other was the hated animal. Kind of like she treated me (golden) and my sister (dirt). A couple years ago, before I saw her for what she is, I rescued (i.e., stole) a cat from a dangerous & neglected situation. I already had 2 cats, but figured we could manage 3. I loved that kitty, she was so sweet and loving. My mother petitioned to take her off my hands, begged me really. Mom was acting like a 'regular' then, and I finally gave in. I told her if it ever didn't work out I wanted her back. About a year in she started good cat/bad cat again. I suggested taking the cat back 3 or 4 times since, but they always refused. This summer while we were in Canada together the cat 'disappeared.' When I questioned more about it, my dad all but admitted to putting her to sleep. Mom shushed him. So no, BPDs take care of animals the same way they do their human offspring: horribly! > > Guys, > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > More later > proflaf > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 I find this subject very interesting. My BPD nada & NPD fada had a male shih tzu for 18 yrs. That poor dog, from 8 wks. old on to 18 yrs. old was subject to nada's screaming, yelling, threats and tantrums. This was a very loving dog, but painfully shy and fearful; he NEVER barked, cried or made any noise whatsoever. On his last day, fada called me all upset because the dog (Fuji) was sick; he didn't know what to do.. I went over, and the dog was obviously in tons of pain, screaming, gasping (it was the only time I heard the dog make a sound). Fada was in tears; Nada, on the other hand, was screaming " get rid of that dog! Put him to sleep! " and similar ugly comments bearing no compassion or feelings for the agony of Fuji. She was sickening. I drove fada to the vet with dying Fuji on his lap and Fuji was in heart failure; we put him to sleep. Fada cried like a baby. Nada showed no feelings at all, didn't care a lick. I'll never forget it. I think it was the first time I realized exactly how horrible nada actually was. I knew she was bad, but this was the ugliest, nastiest, coldest thing I'd ever seen her do. Laurie In a message dated 11/8/2010 8:29:07 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, echobabe@... writes: I only know my mom could never love 2 animals at once, and she always had at least 2. One was golden and the other was the hated animal. Kind of like she treated me (golden) and my sister (dirt). A couple years ago, before I saw her for what she is, I rescued (i.e., stole) a cat from a dangerous & neglected situation. I already had 2 cats, but figured we could manage 3. I loved that kitty, she was so sweet and loving. My mother petitioned to take her off my hands, begged me really. Mom was acting like a 'regular' then, and I finally gave in. I told her if it ever didn't work out I wanted her back. About a year in she started good cat/bad cat again. I suggested taking the cat back 3 or 4 times since, but they always refused. This summer while we were in Canada together the cat 'disappeared.' When I questioned more about it, my dad all but admitted to putting her to sleep. Mom shushed him. So no, BPDs take care of animals the same way they do their human offspring: horribly! > > Guys, > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > More later > proflaf > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 I find this subject very interesting. My BPD nada & NPD fada had a male shih tzu for 18 yrs. That poor dog, from 8 wks. old on to 18 yrs. old was subject to nada's screaming, yelling, threats and tantrums. This was a very loving dog, but painfully shy and fearful; he NEVER barked, cried or made any noise whatsoever. On his last day, fada called me all upset because the dog (Fuji) was sick; he didn't know what to do.. I went over, and the dog was obviously in tons of pain, screaming, gasping (it was the only time I heard the dog make a sound). Fada was in tears; Nada, on the other hand, was screaming " get rid of that dog! Put him to sleep! " and similar ugly comments bearing no compassion or feelings for the agony of Fuji. She was sickening. I drove fada to the vet with dying Fuji on his lap and Fuji was in heart failure; we put him to sleep. Fada cried like a baby. Nada showed no feelings at all, didn't care a lick. I'll never forget it. I think it was the first time I realized exactly how horrible nada actually was. I knew she was bad, but this was the ugliest, nastiest, coldest thing I'd ever seen her do. Laurie In a message dated 11/8/2010 8:29:07 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, echobabe@... writes: I only know my mom could never love 2 animals at once, and she always had at least 2. One was golden and the other was the hated animal. Kind of like she treated me (golden) and my sister (dirt). A couple years ago, before I saw her for what she is, I rescued (i.e., stole) a cat from a dangerous & neglected situation. I already had 2 cats, but figured we could manage 3. I loved that kitty, she was so sweet and loving. My mother petitioned to take her off my hands, begged me really. Mom was acting like a 'regular' then, and I finally gave in. I told her if it ever didn't work out I wanted her back. About a year in she started good cat/bad cat again. I suggested taking the cat back 3 or 4 times since, but they always refused. This summer while we were in Canada together the cat 'disappeared.' When I questioned more about it, my dad all but admitted to putting her to sleep. Mom shushed him. So no, BPDs take care of animals the same way they do their human offspring: horribly! > > Guys, > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > More later > proflaf > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 Dear Group, I find this string of comments fascinating (in a bad way). My mother had our beloved pet cat put to sleep because she didn't like it. I am sure that she would have put me to sleep if she could have. She didn't like me and made it obvious. She did eventually get rid of me in that I moved away from home at age 16 because she and my father were so emotionally cruel. I have been NC for 30 plus years. I continue to grieve for that cat and feel the guilt of not being big enough or strong enough to save her. I was 7 years old. Spuds > > > > Guys, > > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > > More later > > proflaf > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 Dear Group, I find this string of comments fascinating (in a bad way). My mother had our beloved pet cat put to sleep because she didn't like it. I am sure that she would have put me to sleep if she could have. She didn't like me and made it obvious. She did eventually get rid of me in that I moved away from home at age 16 because she and my father were so emotionally cruel. I have been NC for 30 plus years. I continue to grieve for that cat and feel the guilt of not being big enough or strong enough to save her. I was 7 years old. Spuds > > > > Guys, > > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > > More later > > proflaf > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 Dear Group, I find this string of comments fascinating (in a bad way). My mother had our beloved pet cat put to sleep because she didn't like it. I am sure that she would have put me to sleep if she could have. She didn't like me and made it obvious. She did eventually get rid of me in that I moved away from home at age 16 because she and my father were so emotionally cruel. I have been NC for 30 plus years. I continue to grieve for that cat and feel the guilt of not being big enough or strong enough to save her. I was 7 years old. Spuds > > > > Guys, > > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > > More later > > proflaf > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 Not research but anecdotal evidence that there are definitely issues with pets. For example, many are cruel or have a pattern of getting rid of or killing them. Now I have this insatiable need to collect pets and care for them. It's fun, but a little ridiculous. My kids think it's great and get into the " game " with me, and my husband is indulgent. Am I reacting to how nada had our pets put down or sold them when we went to visit our father? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 Not research but anecdotal evidence that there are definitely issues with pets. For example, many are cruel or have a pattern of getting rid of or killing them. Now I have this insatiable need to collect pets and care for them. It's fun, but a little ridiculous. My kids think it's great and get into the " game " with me, and my husband is indulgent. Am I reacting to how nada had our pets put down or sold them when we went to visit our father? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 Point of clarification: We have a dog, rabbit, hamster and goldfish. I'm not talking about the crazy lady with 30 cats syndrome here. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 Point of clarification: We have a dog, rabbit, hamster and goldfish. I'm not talking about the crazy lady with 30 cats syndrome here. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 Point of clarification: We have a dog, rabbit, hamster and goldfish. I'm not talking about the crazy lady with 30 cats syndrome here. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 In an earlier thread on this subject it was suggested that potential parents be given little pets to care for and their treatment of the pet(s) should be monitored and evaluated as a kind of test. If the parent candidates were given a passing grade with their pet-care skills, then they'd be allowed to raise children. It makes sense to me. That poor little dog. At least your dad showed Fuji some love and compassion during his lifespan. I hope your dad was similarly compassionate and loving toward you when you were little, and shielded you from your nada if she treated you as badly as she treated little Fuji. I hope she treated you better than that, though. -Annie > > I find this subject very interesting. My BPD nada & NPD fada had a male > shih tzu for 18 yrs. That poor dog, from 8 wks. old on to 18 yrs. old was > subject to nada's screaming, yelling, threats and tantrums. This was a very > loving dog, but painfully shy and fearful; he NEVER barked, cried or made > any noise whatsoever. On his last day, fada called me all upset because > the dog (Fuji) was sick; he didn't know what to do.. I went over, and the > dog was obviously in tons of pain, screaming, gasping (it was the only time > I heard the dog make a sound). Fada was in tears; Nada, on the other hand, > was screaming " get rid of that dog! Put him to sleep! " and similar ugly > comments bearing no compassion or feelings for the agony of Fuji. She was > sickening. I drove fada to the vet with dying Fuji on his lap and Fuji was > in heart failure; we put him to sleep. Fada cried like a baby. Nada > showed no feelings at all, didn't care a lick. I'll never forget it. I think > it was the first time I realized exactly how horrible nada actually was. I > knew she was bad, but this was the ugliest, nastiest, coldest thing I'd > ever seen her do. > Laurie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 My nada I think was as bad with the animals as she was with peole, nice one minute nasty the next. Like I commented before, Tabby T was a chicken cat when I got her in the first place and had just gotten skinny, but Sherree's temperment has calmed down shince she's been with me. ONly fights wiht one of my cats and is accepting me slowely. Was dad's cat and I think when he died she had it rough for awhile. Amazing how these people can't even manage a pet! proflaf Subject: Re: BPD and Animals To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Monday, November 8, 2010, 9:08 PM  My nada is practically an animal hoarder. She always treated her animals better than people, though. Except that she doesn't have enough time for ALL of them, so some of them end up with not enough socialization. I've never noticed her splitting them like she did with me and my brother, though, which is surprising... I currently have a dog that she gave me due to having too many. The dog is actually the best dog I've ever owned! My brother took another one of her dogs (my dog's mother actually) and he says she is great too. She also wants to stop breeding her cats (they aren't selling in this economy at all) so she just gave me one of those too. She is a very sweet cat. My other cats and dog are rescues from the street and shelter. I am also training some ponies she had that she did NOT socialize enough. She's having to sell them due to financial hard times and possibly losing her house. But I've been able to train them just fine in the past year while keeping them at my place so they are much better now. They didn't seem abused in any way, just not had enough attention. I still am having no luck selling them for her though... (Yes I have 4 animals from her, and she STILL has too many) Casey > > > > Guys, > > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > > More later > > proflaf > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 I don't know for sure. I do know my nada loves her dogs more than she ever loved me. If someone even bumps one of her dogs, she flies off the handle about her baby being hurt. On the other hand, I fell and sliced my hand open and she ignored me, claimed it was my fault for playing in a dangerous area (along the side of the house). She says that she'll do anything for her dogs, no expense is too great. On the other hand when I was 4 years old she would leave me home alone while she went grocery shopping. She would command me to sit on the couch, don't move until she got back. Hmm, maybe she did treat me like a dog after all. I know I was well trained. > > Guys, > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > More later > proflaf > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 My mother (and father, for that matter) were very cruel to animals. I don't want to tell stories, because they will turn most people's stomachs. But they should have been arrested a few times. Gross. Interesting topic. I wouldn't have thought about this. But anything less powerful than they were was easy prey for them. They had it much worse than us kids, and that's saying something. > > Guys, > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > More later > proflaf > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2010 Report Share Posted November 9, 2010 My mother (and father, for that matter) were very cruel to animals. I don't want to tell stories, because they will turn most people's stomachs. But they should have been arrested a few times. Gross. Interesting topic. I wouldn't have thought about this. But anything less powerful than they were was easy prey for them. They had it much worse than us kids, and that's saying something. > > Guys, > Have any of you run accross research about how BPDs and their animals intereact if they intereact with them the same way they interact with people? I have two of nadas cats since she passed away. ONe o fthem was my baby when I lived at home and has pretty much come back unharmed, still flighty but she was flightly when I knew her. THe other one definately shows some emotional damage and she was just a kitten when I moved out. She loves men, I think that's because she knew she could rely on dad. She is slowly accepting me again without hissing at me for no reason. I'm suspecting that there was some alternating of giving attention atleast and neglecting to acknowedge their existance. I know they were neglected food wise, my little tabby was very skinny when I got her and now she ismore normal sized. I think Sherree (the younger of the two) beat her up to get enough food. > More later > proflaf > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 Hi Annie, Fada was very kind to us kids when we were small. However, did not protect us from nada. I do have one very recent doggie story on how, as the BPD's grow into old age, they change .....and not for the better. Several months ago my husband and I were " forced " into moving nada & fada into our home (they're both 90). Several months earlier, I had adopted an 8 yr. old maltese for fada, (against my better judgment and much begging on his part). when they came to our home, so did Sparkie, the maltese. After they were here for 5 - 6 months, they moved out (fada was having tantrums left & right). Fada dropped me like a hot potato and he left HIS dog here and we've been caring for him since. He's never called here to ask about Sparkie. For that matter, he's never called here, period. This was a man that used to be fairly compassionate, caring..........Really shocking to us that he just packed up and left and never turned back.....not even asking about the dog. He'll never get the dog back now. We've invested too much time and care into him, and he really has become a special member of our little family. Laurie In a message dated 11/9/2010 2:21:01 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, anuria-67854@... writes: In an earlier thread on this subject it was suggested that potential parents be given little pets to care for and their treatment of the pet(s) should be monitored and evaluated as a kind of test. If the parent candidates were given a passing grade with their pet-care skills, then they'd be allowed to raise children. It makes sense to me. That poor little dog. At least your dad showed Fuji some love and compassion during his lifespan. I hope your dad was similarly compassionate and loving toward you when you were little, and shielded you from your nada if she treated you as badly as she treated little Fuji. I hope she treated you better than that, though. -Annie > > I find this subject very interesting. My BPD nada & NPD fada had a male > shih tzu for 18 yrs. That poor dog, from 8 wks. old on to 18 yrs. old was > subject to nada's screaming, yelling, threats and tantrums. This was a very > loving dog, but painfully shy and fearful; he NEVER barked, cried or made > any noise whatsoever. On his last day, fada called me all upset because > the dog (Fuji) was sick; he didn't know what to do.. I went over, and the > dog was obviously in tons of pain, screaming, gasping (it was the only time > I heard the dog make a sound). Fada was in tears; Nada, on the other hand, > was screaming " get rid of that dog! Put him to sleep! " and similar ugly > comments bearing no compassion or feelings for the agony of Fuji. She was > sickening. I drove fada to the vet with dying Fuji on his lap and Fuji was > in heart failure; we put him to sleep. Fada cried like a baby. Nada > showed no feelings at all, didn't care a lick. I'll never forget it. I think > it was the first time I realized exactly how horrible nada actually was. I > knew she was bad, but this was the ugliest, nastiest, coldest thing I'd > ever seen her do. > Laurie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 Hi everyone, There's alot of posts that on this so i'll be brief. It is a good conversation to have. Firstly, my nada never drove me anywhere. I never was able to join any school activities. I would never dare ask for a ride, money for an event, or any normal just given to my children enjoyable things weren't even considered as I was growing up. The emphasis was so on care taking nada and being completely absorbed in her dramas(like being kick out all the time). Secondly, When my sisters baby was born with tetrasomy 18p my nada could not come up with a single photo of my sister or me in our toddler years for the doctor, like ages 1-5! Thirdly, I believe that the gene allele DQ8, the autoimmune disease gene is implicated in BPD. I have hyper Ige(severe allergies) my daughter has Celiac disease (wheat allergy)the other one has corn allergy, we all have suffered severe Atopic Dermatitus(eczema)my youngest could not hear due to allergies until 2 yrs old I suffer tinnitus, hearing hypercutis(Noise sensitivity) and 25% loss in my balence system, 3 of us have asthma and emphyasema, small airways disease(SAD) and small lung capacity and COPD in my case. We have had Prometheus labs test our DNA separate times as things were diagnosed. My nada kept telling my sister that I must have the photographs. When my sister asked me, I asked her do you remember ever seeing her take a photo or ever seeing any pictures of us in our house? Except for Ireland we could not recall a one. Disgustingly sad. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 That's so sad. I'm sorry. I have all kinds of allergies too - and extremley sensitive hearing, smelling etc. I even seem to notice things visually that others do not. I am also very sensitive to light and dark and I desparately need routine and predictability to some degree. i wonder how much is inherited. Study! I call for a study! > > > > > Hi everyone, > There's alot of posts that on this so i'll be brief. It is a good > conversation to have. Firstly, my nada never drove me anywhere. I never was > able to join any school activities. I would never dare ask for a ride, money > for an event, or any normal just given to my children enjoyable things > weren't even considered as I was growing up. The emphasis was so on care > taking nada and being completely absorbed in her dramas(like being kick out > all the time). > Secondly, When my sisters baby was born with tetrasomy 18p my nada could > not come up with a single photo of my sister or me in our toddler years for > the doctor, like ages 1-5! > Thirdly, I believe that the gene allele DQ8, the autoimmune disease gene is > implicated in BPD. I have hyper Ige(severe allergies) my daughter has Celiac > disease (wheat allergy)the other one has corn allergy, we all have suffered > severe Atopic Dermatitus(eczema)my youngest could not hear due to allergies > until 2 yrs old I suffer tinnitus, hearing hypercutis(Noise sensitivity) and > 25% loss in my balence system, 3 of us have asthma and emphyasema, small > airways disease(SAD) and small lung capacity and COPD in my case. We have > had Prometheus labs test our DNA separate times as things were diagnosed. > My nada kept telling my sister that I must have the photographs. When my > sister asked me, I asked her do you remember ever seeing her take a photo or > ever seeing any pictures of us in our house? Except for Ireland we could not > recall a one. > Disgustingly sad. > Sue > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 That's so sad. I'm sorry. I have all kinds of allergies too - and extremley sensitive hearing, smelling etc. I even seem to notice things visually that others do not. I am also very sensitive to light and dark and I desparately need routine and predictability to some degree. i wonder how much is inherited. Study! I call for a study! > > > > > Hi everyone, > There's alot of posts that on this so i'll be brief. It is a good > conversation to have. Firstly, my nada never drove me anywhere. I never was > able to join any school activities. I would never dare ask for a ride, money > for an event, or any normal just given to my children enjoyable things > weren't even considered as I was growing up. The emphasis was so on care > taking nada and being completely absorbed in her dramas(like being kick out > all the time). > Secondly, When my sisters baby was born with tetrasomy 18p my nada could > not come up with a single photo of my sister or me in our toddler years for > the doctor, like ages 1-5! > Thirdly, I believe that the gene allele DQ8, the autoimmune disease gene is > implicated in BPD. I have hyper Ige(severe allergies) my daughter has Celiac > disease (wheat allergy)the other one has corn allergy, we all have suffered > severe Atopic Dermatitus(eczema)my youngest could not hear due to allergies > until 2 yrs old I suffer tinnitus, hearing hypercutis(Noise sensitivity) and > 25% loss in my balence system, 3 of us have asthma and emphyasema, small > airways disease(SAD) and small lung capacity and COPD in my case. We have > had Prometheus labs test our DNA separate times as things were diagnosed. > My nada kept telling my sister that I must have the photographs. When my > sister asked me, I asked her do you remember ever seeing her take a photo or > ever seeing any pictures of us in our house? Except for Ireland we could not > recall a one. > Disgustingly sad. > Sue > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 That's so sad. I'm sorry. I have all kinds of allergies too - and extremley sensitive hearing, smelling etc. I even seem to notice things visually that others do not. I am also very sensitive to light and dark and I desparately need routine and predictability to some degree. i wonder how much is inherited. Study! I call for a study! > > > > > Hi everyone, > There's alot of posts that on this so i'll be brief. It is a good > conversation to have. Firstly, my nada never drove me anywhere. I never was > able to join any school activities. I would never dare ask for a ride, money > for an event, or any normal just given to my children enjoyable things > weren't even considered as I was growing up. The emphasis was so on care > taking nada and being completely absorbed in her dramas(like being kick out > all the time). > Secondly, When my sisters baby was born with tetrasomy 18p my nada could > not come up with a single photo of my sister or me in our toddler years for > the doctor, like ages 1-5! > Thirdly, I believe that the gene allele DQ8, the autoimmune disease gene is > implicated in BPD. I have hyper Ige(severe allergies) my daughter has Celiac > disease (wheat allergy)the other one has corn allergy, we all have suffered > severe Atopic Dermatitus(eczema)my youngest could not hear due to allergies > until 2 yrs old I suffer tinnitus, hearing hypercutis(Noise sensitivity) and > 25% loss in my balence system, 3 of us have asthma and emphyasema, small > airways disease(SAD) and small lung capacity and COPD in my case. We have > had Prometheus labs test our DNA separate times as things were diagnosed. > My nada kept telling my sister that I must have the photographs. When my > sister asked me, I asked her do you remember ever seeing her take a photo or > ever seeing any pictures of us in our house? Except for Ireland we could not > recall a one. > Disgustingly sad. > Sue > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2010 Report Share Posted November 12, 2010 Hi Girlscout Cowboy, I have heard of this before but don't know what it's called. Some people somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum display these sensitivities. Can you sense things differently than others, like " smell " a color or " hear " bright light as too loud? I wonder if it is an inborn trait for some and others develop it from abuse. I'm pretty sure I'm not autistic or have Asperger's, but bright light seems too " loud " to me and I can't stand a lot of noise. I'm also sensitive, artistic and expressive. So this could go together too. -Coal Miner's Daughter Another reason for this name is because I watched the Loretta Lynn biography on t.v. and dreamed I would one day be a country star. Unfortunatly, nada and step-dad did nothing to gently discourage this idea or help me develop other skills. Luckily, I was good in school, too, and now have some career possibilities because of academic success. Nada filled my mind with the idea that I was the " chosen " one and told of her " psychic " impression at my birth that I would one day be like Jesus or Willie . My dad laughed his head off at that one - Jesus or Willie ???!!! p.s. I do sing and write songs and have a CD. Played in a professional bluegrass group as a teen. > > That's so sad. I'm sorry. > I have all kinds of allergies too - and extremley sensitive hearing, > smelling etc. I even seem to notice things visually that others do not. I am > also very sensitive to light and dark and I desparately need routine and > predictability to some degree. i wonder how much is inherited. Study! I call > for a study! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2010 Report Share Posted November 12, 2010 Yes, ma'am, well specifically I can " feel " colors or see words associated with colors, things lilke that. I'd be so interested to learn more. People w aspergers are less social right? I'm extremely extroverted, so maybe its just a different point on the spectrum. Oh and yes I can also hear light, I do believe. On Fri, Nov 12, 2010 at 7:12 AM, coalminersdotter < coalminersdotter@...> wrote: > > > Hi Girlscout Cowboy, > > I have heard of this before but don't know what it's called. Some people > somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum display these sensitivities. Can you > sense things differently than others, like " smell " a color or " hear " bright > light as too loud? > > I wonder if it is an inborn trait for some and others develop it from > abuse. I'm pretty sure I'm not autistic or have Asperger's, but bright light > seems too " loud " to me and I can't stand a lot of noise. > > I'm also sensitive, artistic and expressive. So this could go together too. > > -Coal Miner's Daughter > Another reason for this name is because I watched the Loretta Lynn > biography on t.v. and dreamed I would one day be a country star. > Unfortunatly, nada and step-dad did nothing to gently discourage this idea > or help me develop other skills. Luckily, I was good in school, too, and now > have some career possibilities because of academic success. > > Nada filled my mind with the idea that I was the " chosen " one and told of > her " psychic " impression at my birth that I would one day be like Jesus or > Willie . My dad laughed his head off at that one - Jesus or Willie > ???!!! > > p.s. I do sing and write songs and have a CD. Played in a professional > bluegrass group as a teen. > > > > > > That's so sad. I'm sorry. > > I have all kinds of allergies too - and extremley sensitive hearing, > > smelling etc. I even seem to notice things visually that others do not. I > am > > also very sensitive to light and dark and I desparately need routine and > > predictability to some degree. i wonder how much is inherited. Study! I > call > > for a study! > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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