Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Hello All, I am struggling today. I thought to start writting and sharing about it before I go crazy. I went home from work very tired and stressed. First thing I did , I told myself I dont need dinner. Then got hungry and felt guilty to eat. the more I felt guilty the more I ate. I started snacking, the more I snacked the more I wanted to eat and as a result I hated myself and my body. Then around 9 PM, I asked myself , what I really want to eat? I listened, I ate what I really wanted then Binging stopped. I slept well BUT the feeling of hating myself and OLD crazy diet thoughts are still strong in my head. Part of me also feels extremely disappointed and sad. I feel like crying and feels like I made a crime for eating too much...I thought If I share , I will feel better, sorry for long e-mail... I Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!!Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Hello All, I am struggling today. I thought to start writting and sharing about it before I go crazy. I went home from work very tired and stressed. First thing I did , I told myself I dont need dinner. Then got hungry and felt guilty to eat. the more I felt guilty the more I ate. I started snacking, the more I snacked the more I wanted to eat and as a result I hated myself and my body. Then around 9 PM, I asked myself , what I really want to eat? I listened, I ate what I really wanted then Binging stopped. I slept well BUT the feeling of hating myself and OLD crazy diet thoughts are still strong in my head. Part of me also feels extremely disappointed and sad. I feel like crying and feels like I made a crime for eating too much...I thought If I share , I will feel better, sorry for long e-mail... I Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!!Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Hello All, I am struggling today. I thought to start writting and sharing about it before I go crazy. I went home from work very tired and stressed. First thing I did , I told myself I dont need dinner. Then got hungry and felt guilty to eat. the more I felt guilty the more I ate. I started snacking, the more I snacked the more I wanted to eat and as a result I hated myself and my body. Then around 9 PM, I asked myself , what I really want to eat? I listened, I ate what I really wanted then Binging stopped. I slept well BUT the feeling of hating myself and OLD crazy diet thoughts are still strong in my head. Part of me also feels extremely disappointed and sad. I feel like crying and feels like I made a crime for eating too much...I thought If I share , I will feel better, sorry for long e-mail... I Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!!Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 hi Shoku,i'm glad you posted!try to read what you wrote as if you were not the writer... hopefully you will see that nothing is a crisis, you are just in a bad place emotionally. first off, BRAVO for remembering to check in and ask yourself what you really wanted... and isn't it AMAZING that the " binging " (i don't like this word, because a) i don't really know what it means -- is it eating one cookie too many, or one bag of cookies too many? and it sounds much more judgemental than, " i ate more than i was hungry for " ) stopped once you checked in. and secondly, it sounds like the food/eating etc issue was a distractor from what was really going on. the fatigue and the stress. fatigue is a big trigger for me for eating. and of course stress is hard for anyone! maybe just taking a minute to really sympathize with yourself, as if you were talking to a friend, or your child (whether you have one or not). and then, making up food rules about how you " shouldn't " eat just invited the " food police " in and added hugely to your stress... the last thing your poor, exhausted, stressed self needed! maybe next time you can try starting with forgiving yourself, and giving yourself permision to do what you need... oftentimes, it cuts out the need to rely on food in the first place. and if not, that's ok! at least you won't be beating yourself up, on top of everything else you are dealing with. we are here to help however we can... please keep us posted!sympathetically,abby  Hello All,  I am struggling today. I thought to start writting and sharing about it before I go crazy.  I went home from work very tired and stressed. First thing I did , I told myself I dont need dinner. Then got hungry and felt guilty to eat. the more I felt guilty the more I ate. I started snacking, the more I snacked the more I wanted to eat and as a result I hated myself and my body.  Then around 9 PM, I asked myself , what I really want to eat? I listened, I ate what I really wanted then Binging stopped. I slept well BUT the feeling of hating myself and OLD crazy diet thoughts are still strong in my head. Part of me also feels extremely disappointed and sad. I feel like crying and feels like I made a crime for eating too much...I thought If I share , I will feel better, sorry for long e-mail... I  Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!! Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 hi Shoku,i'm glad you posted!try to read what you wrote as if you were not the writer... hopefully you will see that nothing is a crisis, you are just in a bad place emotionally. first off, BRAVO for remembering to check in and ask yourself what you really wanted... and isn't it AMAZING that the " binging " (i don't like this word, because a) i don't really know what it means -- is it eating one cookie too many, or one bag of cookies too many? and it sounds much more judgemental than, " i ate more than i was hungry for " ) stopped once you checked in. and secondly, it sounds like the food/eating etc issue was a distractor from what was really going on. the fatigue and the stress. fatigue is a big trigger for me for eating. and of course stress is hard for anyone! maybe just taking a minute to really sympathize with yourself, as if you were talking to a friend, or your child (whether you have one or not). and then, making up food rules about how you " shouldn't " eat just invited the " food police " in and added hugely to your stress... the last thing your poor, exhausted, stressed self needed! maybe next time you can try starting with forgiving yourself, and giving yourself permision to do what you need... oftentimes, it cuts out the need to rely on food in the first place. and if not, that's ok! at least you won't be beating yourself up, on top of everything else you are dealing with. we are here to help however we can... please keep us posted!sympathetically,abby  Hello All,  I am struggling today. I thought to start writting and sharing about it before I go crazy.  I went home from work very tired and stressed. First thing I did , I told myself I dont need dinner. Then got hungry and felt guilty to eat. the more I felt guilty the more I ate. I started snacking, the more I snacked the more I wanted to eat and as a result I hated myself and my body.  Then around 9 PM, I asked myself , what I really want to eat? I listened, I ate what I really wanted then Binging stopped. I slept well BUT the feeling of hating myself and OLD crazy diet thoughts are still strong in my head. Part of me also feels extremely disappointed and sad. I feel like crying and feels like I made a crime for eating too much...I thought If I share , I will feel better, sorry for long e-mail... I  Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!! Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 hi Shoku,i'm glad you posted!try to read what you wrote as if you were not the writer... hopefully you will see that nothing is a crisis, you are just in a bad place emotionally. first off, BRAVO for remembering to check in and ask yourself what you really wanted... and isn't it AMAZING that the " binging " (i don't like this word, because a) i don't really know what it means -- is it eating one cookie too many, or one bag of cookies too many? and it sounds much more judgemental than, " i ate more than i was hungry for " ) stopped once you checked in. and secondly, it sounds like the food/eating etc issue was a distractor from what was really going on. the fatigue and the stress. fatigue is a big trigger for me for eating. and of course stress is hard for anyone! maybe just taking a minute to really sympathize with yourself, as if you were talking to a friend, or your child (whether you have one or not). and then, making up food rules about how you " shouldn't " eat just invited the " food police " in and added hugely to your stress... the last thing your poor, exhausted, stressed self needed! maybe next time you can try starting with forgiving yourself, and giving yourself permision to do what you need... oftentimes, it cuts out the need to rely on food in the first place. and if not, that's ok! at least you won't be beating yourself up, on top of everything else you are dealing with. we are here to help however we can... please keep us posted!sympathetically,abby  Hello All,  I am struggling today. I thought to start writting and sharing about it before I go crazy.  I went home from work very tired and stressed. First thing I did , I told myself I dont need dinner. Then got hungry and felt guilty to eat. the more I felt guilty the more I ate. I started snacking, the more I snacked the more I wanted to eat and as a result I hated myself and my body.  Then around 9 PM, I asked myself , what I really want to eat? I listened, I ate what I really wanted then Binging stopped. I slept well BUT the feeling of hating myself and OLD crazy diet thoughts are still strong in my head. Part of me also feels extremely disappointed and sad. I feel like crying and feels like I made a crime for eating too much...I thought If I share , I will feel better, sorry for long e-mail... I  Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!! Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Thanks for your kind words. This really hit me in the right spot. >>>"i ate more than i was hungry for") and NOT BINGING.... it seems like I have a big fear when I eat an extra cookie . the emotion that comes over me is overwhelming. Your e-mail made my whole body all of a sudden to relax... Thanks for your reply... Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!!Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Thanks for your kind words. This really hit me in the right spot. >>>"i ate more than i was hungry for") and NOT BINGING.... it seems like I have a big fear when I eat an extra cookie . the emotion that comes over me is overwhelming. Your e-mail made my whole body all of a sudden to relax... Thanks for your reply... Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!!Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 yay! i'm so glad!abby  Thanks for your kind words. This really hit me in the right spot. >>> " i ate more than i was hungry for " ) and NOT BINGING....  it seems like I have a big fear when I eat an extra cookie . the emotion that comes over me is overwhelming. Your e-mail made my whole body all of a sudden to relax... Thanks for your reply...    Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!! Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 yay! i'm so glad!abby  Thanks for your kind words. This really hit me in the right spot. >>> " i ate more than i was hungry for " ) and NOT BINGING....  it seems like I have a big fear when I eat an extra cookie . the emotion that comes over me is overwhelming. Your e-mail made my whole body all of a sudden to relax... Thanks for your reply...    Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!! Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 yay! i'm so glad!abby  Thanks for your kind words. This really hit me in the right spot. >>> " i ate more than i was hungry for " ) and NOT BINGING....  it seems like I have a big fear when I eat an extra cookie . the emotion that comes over me is overwhelming. Your e-mail made my whole body all of a sudden to relax... Thanks for your reply...    Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!! Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 I am so glad you chose to write in at a bad time. I can relate to when I am tires and stressed or excited even, I start looking for a snack. I graze all evening looking for something but I don't know what. If I would just stop and feel my feelings without any judgement or guilt, because feelings just ARE, neither right nor wrong, good or bad. They are there to teach me something if I would just listen. But why do I not stop and listen? What am I afraid of or trying to avoid? And if I had just eaten a meal in the first place I might not have kept snacking. I also think I read somewhere that the sadness and tears can be for a loss of a way of life of dieting and binging. That means I am moving in the right direction. If I can just remember that when I'm in the situation. Thanks for writing in. It helped me too. Sandy  Hello All,  I am struggling today. I thought to start writting and sharing about it before I go crazy.  I went home from work very tired and stressed. First thing I did , I told myself I dont need dinner. Then got hungry and felt guilty to eat. the more I felt guilty the more I ate. I started snacking, the more I snacked the more I wanted to eat and as a result I hated myself and my body.  Then around 9 PM, I asked myself , what I really want to eat? I listened, I ate what I really wanted then Binging stopped. I slept well BUT the feeling of hating myself and OLD crazy diet thoughts are still strong in my head. Part of me also feels extremely disappointed and sad. I feel like crying and feels like I made a crime for eating too much...I thought If I share , I will feel better, sorry for long e-mail... I  Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!! Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 I am so glad you chose to write in at a bad time. I can relate to when I am tires and stressed or excited even, I start looking for a snack. I graze all evening looking for something but I don't know what. If I would just stop and feel my feelings without any judgement or guilt, because feelings just ARE, neither right nor wrong, good or bad. They are there to teach me something if I would just listen. But why do I not stop and listen? What am I afraid of or trying to avoid? And if I had just eaten a meal in the first place I might not have kept snacking. I also think I read somewhere that the sadness and tears can be for a loss of a way of life of dieting and binging. That means I am moving in the right direction. If I can just remember that when I'm in the situation. Thanks for writing in. It helped me too. Sandy  Hello All,  I am struggling today. I thought to start writting and sharing about it before I go crazy.  I went home from work very tired and stressed. First thing I did , I told myself I dont need dinner. Then got hungry and felt guilty to eat. the more I felt guilty the more I ate. I started snacking, the more I snacked the more I wanted to eat and as a result I hated myself and my body.  Then around 9 PM, I asked myself , what I really want to eat? I listened, I ate what I really wanted then Binging stopped. I slept well BUT the feeling of hating myself and OLD crazy diet thoughts are still strong in my head. Part of me also feels extremely disappointed and sad. I feel like crying and feels like I made a crime for eating too much...I thought If I share , I will feel better, sorry for long e-mail... I  Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!! Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 I am so glad you chose to write in at a bad time. I can relate to when I am tires and stressed or excited even, I start looking for a snack. I graze all evening looking for something but I don't know what. If I would just stop and feel my feelings without any judgement or guilt, because feelings just ARE, neither right nor wrong, good or bad. They are there to teach me something if I would just listen. But why do I not stop and listen? What am I afraid of or trying to avoid? And if I had just eaten a meal in the first place I might not have kept snacking. I also think I read somewhere that the sadness and tears can be for a loss of a way of life of dieting and binging. That means I am moving in the right direction. If I can just remember that when I'm in the situation. Thanks for writing in. It helped me too. Sandy  Hello All,  I am struggling today. I thought to start writting and sharing about it before I go crazy.  I went home from work very tired and stressed. First thing I did , I told myself I dont need dinner. Then got hungry and felt guilty to eat. the more I felt guilty the more I ate. I started snacking, the more I snacked the more I wanted to eat and as a result I hated myself and my body.  Then around 9 PM, I asked myself , what I really want to eat? I listened, I ate what I really wanted then Binging stopped. I slept well BUT the feeling of hating myself and OLD crazy diet thoughts are still strong in my head. Part of me also feels extremely disappointed and sad. I feel like crying and feels like I made a crime for eating too much...I thought If I share , I will feel better, sorry for long e-mail... I  Hi all, I doubt anyone remembers me because I wasn't that vocal even before, but I read the messages here almost daily and draw strength from your honesty and hope. I have read the books on Intuitive Eating, done the Hunger workbook, read Normal Eating, been to counseling and still I think I'm a little afraid the honesty here. It's hard to admit that after 15 years of professional help and personal effort I still haven't developed intuition. My background is anorexia and obligatory exercise. I'm at a fairly healthy weight now, but every bite and every workout is still governed by an enormous amount of thought and stress and planning about what is best - when I deserve what and the balance of workout and food. I don't have and idea about how to relax. I do see some improvement at home when I fix our meals and I am in control. But God forbid we go out to eat or worse visit someone's house and they are cooking!! Anyway, I want to be more active here and completely honest and offer what support I can and learn from everyone here. Thanks for listening!Abby http://www.benjity.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2011 Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 I can relate to those days when I’m very tired and stressed, and I would add to that the days on which I get a migraine. The last thing I feel like doing is standing in the kitchen preparing food and like you I find that if I don’t eat properly I end up just grazing all night and nothing seems to satisfy. I have found it really useful to double up on my recipes on the days when I do feel like cooking, and then freeze what I don’t eat for dinner. I have a stash of plastic takeaway containers that I use for this purpose. My freezer is now full of soups, casseroles, stews and other potential dinners. On the hard days I just bung one in the microwave and five minutes later plop it into a bowl. Quick and easy but still a decent meal. Preparation is definitely the key for me. If I plan ahead how to manage the times when I feel like crap it just seems to work better for me. Good luck!Dax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2011 Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 I can relate to those days when I’m very tired and stressed, and I would add to that the days on which I get a migraine. The last thing I feel like doing is standing in the kitchen preparing food and like you I find that if I don’t eat properly I end up just grazing all night and nothing seems to satisfy. I have found it really useful to double up on my recipes on the days when I do feel like cooking, and then freeze what I don’t eat for dinner. I have a stash of plastic takeaway containers that I use for this purpose. My freezer is now full of soups, casseroles, stews and other potential dinners. On the hard days I just bung one in the microwave and five minutes later plop it into a bowl. Quick and easy but still a decent meal. Preparation is definitely the key for me. If I plan ahead how to manage the times when I feel like crap it just seems to work better for me. Good luck!Dax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2011 Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 What a great idea. Thanks Sandy  I can relate to those days when I’m very tired and stressed, and I would add to that the days on which I get a migraine. The last thing I feel like doing is standing in the kitchen preparing food and like you I find that if I don’t eat properly I end up just grazing all night and nothing seems to satisfy.  I have found it really useful to double up on my recipes on the days when I do feel like cooking,  and then freeze what I don’t eat for dinner. I have a stash of plastic takeaway containers that I use for this purpose. My freezer is now full of soups, casseroles, stews and other potential dinners. On the hard days I just bung one in the microwave and five minutes later plop it into a bowl. Quick and easy but still a decent meal.  Preparation is definitely the key for me. If I plan ahead how to manage the times when I feel like crap it just seems to work better for me. Good luck!Dax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2011 Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 What a great idea. Thanks Sandy  I can relate to those days when I’m very tired and stressed, and I would add to that the days on which I get a migraine. The last thing I feel like doing is standing in the kitchen preparing food and like you I find that if I don’t eat properly I end up just grazing all night and nothing seems to satisfy.  I have found it really useful to double up on my recipes on the days when I do feel like cooking,  and then freeze what I don’t eat for dinner. I have a stash of plastic takeaway containers that I use for this purpose. My freezer is now full of soups, casseroles, stews and other potential dinners. On the hard days I just bung one in the microwave and five minutes later plop it into a bowl. Quick and easy but still a decent meal.  Preparation is definitely the key for me. If I plan ahead how to manage the times when I feel like crap it just seems to work better for me. Good luck!Dax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2011 Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 What a great idea. Thanks Sandy  I can relate to those days when I’m very tired and stressed, and I would add to that the days on which I get a migraine. The last thing I feel like doing is standing in the kitchen preparing food and like you I find that if I don’t eat properly I end up just grazing all night and nothing seems to satisfy.  I have found it really useful to double up on my recipes on the days when I do feel like cooking,  and then freeze what I don’t eat for dinner. I have a stash of plastic takeaway containers that I use for this purpose. My freezer is now full of soups, casseroles, stews and other potential dinners. On the hard days I just bung one in the microwave and five minutes later plop it into a bowl. Quick and easy but still a decent meal.  Preparation is definitely the key for me. If I plan ahead how to manage the times when I feel like crap it just seems to work better for me. Good luck!Dax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 Yes, I too recetnly began planning my meals the day before again -- and taking out meats/fishes out of the freezer so that I have a tentative plan; otherwise, I too will graze which causes me stress. I sometimes think that overeating or eating late in the evening is a habitual comfort zone for me, even though it doesn't make me feel necessarily good afterworths. I'm trying to change my thinking by first becoming aware of what " eating thing " I'm doing and what preceded it right prior to doing it. And although, I've hit the pause button " right prior " to " doing it, " I not quite there yet. Anyways... I'm still very new and reading your posts... so don't feel like I'm uniquely different anymore. Thanks. Judy Ann (newbie) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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