It's almost Thanksgiving, so that means...

[Guest guest]

My mother is due for her annual funk/depression/dramatic display of woefulness.

Sigh.

I saw the first signs of it on Sunday. I made the dumb decision to take my kids

over to see her. An aside: I wish I had a seat on the ceiling to appreciate the

setting of our weekly " visit " :

* My mother babbles, mercilessly and continuously, in her native tongue, which

only I understand. Not that I contribute to the conversation. I just bobble my

head and fix my eyes on something in the room and find a happy place.

* As soon as we walk in, I'm talking coats aren't even off yet, the kids grab

the remote and go into their hypnotic trance watching iCarly. I don't blame them

at all. I wish I could join them. They both, my older one in particular, don't

want to sit through my mother's latest performance of " Grandma's Week in

Review...in A Language We Can't Understand. "

* My mother orders pizza or puts something else out

* We eat

* We eat while watching tv, not even looking at one another

* We go back to watchng tv

* We leave

If it weren't so sad, it would be hilarious.

This morning, I called her for our daily 20 second phone call. She asked the

usual questions. I say yes yes. And as usual, we say goodbye, have a good day,

and she starts a new conversation. This time, the end-of-the-call conversation

began with her saying , " Sigh! I'm so bored... " I just said, " ok, bye! " And

hung up.

I know to some who might be new here, that seems cold. But it's just my mother's

way of asking me to fix her pain. Again. Fix it. Be with me. Hold my hand. And I

just can't.

She told me last week of TWO invitations she received, one from a friend

inviting her over for dinner; and another from another friend offering to take

her grocery shopping (I was so angry when she told me about the second one, b/c

in the same breath she's complaining about how my brother hasn't gone to buy her

groceries in a long time, how lazy he is, blah blah...again, the attitude is " HE

needs to fix my problem...I'm not going food shopping with someone I'm not

related to. Now that I'm a widow, I'm YOUR problem and you have to fix my

problems. " ).

It pisses me off that she can't even accept a simple dinner invitation, that she

refuses friendship. The only friendship she wants is the sorry excuse for a

visit we do weekly. It's sad that she can't let people into her heart.

And so, this is the most wonderful time of the year! This fun will continue

straight through to most of January!

Stay tuned!!!

Fiona