Guest guest Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 hi Margaret,Welcome!Thank you for sharing your story so bravely and honestly. It sounds like you know that your emotional issues are the ones underpinning your " weight issues " or " eating issues " and that is a good place to start! I hope this group will be helpful to you. All the best,AbbyIE since 11/08 Hello, I'm Margaret and so happy to have found this group. I found it in a search on yahoo groups.I am 50-yrs-old, divorced, mom to three young adults and grandmother to a 5-month-old boy. I live with my boyfriend of two years, who is supportive of me as best he can be, as much of what I strugglewith is really not within his frame of reference. Still, he is not negative with me at all, which is truly a blessing. I discovered books by Geneen Roth many years ago and found much encouragement and support there. Until the past year or so I have never had a weight problem, but definitely an eating problem, thereforeI did not get much support when I tried to talk about this to most people. I looked okay on the outsideso what was the problem? The problem was I was dying on the inside, and not taken seriously, even bythe therapist I was seeing at the time. I was using (and continue to use) food to hide my pain. Due to some pretty serious gastrointestinal problems, I never gained weight, and at times I had even lost a frightening amount ... there was a time a few years ago when my youngest daughter, now 22-yrs-old, would call me just to ask me if I was eating. Oh, I was eating, quite recklessly. For a few decades I have managed to hide just how much I've been eating, and it was easy because there wasn't a weight issue to make it more obvious.I have noticed over the years how I have learned a great deal in so many areas of my life, yet it seems that I almost refuse to put those things into practice. For instance, I struggle with depression and I know how much exercise would benefit me mentally (not to mention so many other ways) but I still don't do it. I so very much want and need to change this but realize that without some support and an effort to make myself accountable, that's not likely to change. The gastrointestinal issues were thankfully resolved about 18 months ago, and I think coupled with myage, the weight gain began. I am about 25 or 30 pounds overweight, but it feels like SO much more,and has affected my depression noticeably. Yesterday I happened to see my mid-section in a mirror as I was getting dressed and it felt like I was slapped in the face. Right away I felt a mix of shame but also determination. I've got a long history of surgeries (mostly for my legs) and hospitalizations (most for dehydration and other intestinal issues) and I am coming up on 15 months of not needing to be in the hospital for anything. As much as I am happy about that, it's pretty sad at the same time. I want so much to beable to live a healthy lifestyle, but as I write this a few things come to mind:I need to do more than just want it, I have to admit how much I want to eat - everything, and all the time,Nothing is going to change if I do not take action.Thank you for listening,Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Welcome Margaret! And thank you for such an honest sharing. You will find a lot of support here. I will be 68 on Sunday and have gained about 30 lbs. although I don't weigh myself anymore. I'll write later. Going swimming with a friend. Sandy Hello, I'm Margaret and so happy to have found this group. I found it in a search on yahoo groups. I am 50-yrs-old, divorced, mom to three young adults and grandmother to a 5-month-old boy. I live with my boyfriend of two years, who is supportive of me as best he can be, as much of what I strugglewith is really not within his frame of reference. Still, he is not negative with me at all, which is truly a blessing.I discovered books by Geneen Roth many years ago and found much encouragement and support there. Until the past year or so I have never had a weight problem, but definitely an eating problem, therefore I did not get much support when I tried to talk about this to most people. I looked okay on the outsideso what was the problem? The problem was I was dying on the inside, and not taken seriously, even bythe therapist I was seeing at the time. I was using (and continue to use) food to hide my pain. Due to some pretty serious gastrointestinal problems, I never gained weight, and at times I had even lost a frightening amount ... there was a time a few years ago when my youngest daughter, now 22-yrs-old, would call me just to ask me if I was eating. Oh, I was eating, quite recklessly. For a few decades I have managed to hide just how much I've been eating, and it was easy because there wasn't a weight issue to make it more obvious.I have noticed over the years how I have learned a great deal in so many areas of my life, yet it seems that I almost refuse to put those things into practice. For instance, I struggle with depression and I know how much exercise would benefit me mentally (not to mention so many other ways) but I still don't do it. I so very much want and need to change this but realize that without some support and an effort to make myself accountable, that's not likely to change. The gastrointestinal issues were thankfully resolved about 18 months ago, and I think coupled with myage, the weight gain began. I am about 25 or 30 pounds overweight, but it feels like SO much more,and has affected my depression noticeably. Yesterday I happened to see my mid-section in a mirror as I was getting dressed and it felt like I was slapped in the face. Right away I felt a mix of shame but also determination. I've got a long history of surgeries (mostly for my legs) and hospitalizations (most for dehydration and other intestinal issues) and I am coming up on 15 months of not needing to be in the hospital for anything. As much as I am happy about that, it's pretty sad at the same time. I want so much to beable to live a healthy lifestyle, but as I write this a few things come to mind:I need to do more than just want it, I have to admit how much I want to eat - everything, and all the time,Nothing is going to change if I do not take action.Thank you for listening,Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Thank you Abby, I appreciate hearing from you!Yes, I do know my emotional issues are underpinning all the weight & eating things, I am hoping to begin some true changes.MargaretTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Mon, June 20, 2011 9:33:28 AMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here hi Margaret,Welcome!Thank you for sharing your story so bravely and honestly. It sounds like you know that your emotional issues are the ones underpinning your "weight issues" or "eating issues" and that is a good place to start! I hope this group will be helpful to you. All the best,AbbyIE since 11/08 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Thank you Abby, I appreciate hearing from you!Yes, I do know my emotional issues are underpinning all the weight & eating things, I am hoping to begin some true changes.MargaretTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Mon, June 20, 2011 9:33:28 AMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here hi Margaret,Welcome!Thank you for sharing your story so bravely and honestly. It sounds like you know that your emotional issues are the ones underpinning your "weight issues" or "eating issues" and that is a good place to start! I hope this group will be helpful to you. All the best,AbbyIE since 11/08 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Thank you Abby, I appreciate hearing from you!Yes, I do know my emotional issues are underpinning all the weight & eating things, I am hoping to begin some true changes.MargaretTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Mon, June 20, 2011 9:33:28 AMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here hi Margaret,Welcome!Thank you for sharing your story so bravely and honestly. It sounds like you know that your emotional issues are the ones underpinning your "weight issues" or "eating issues" and that is a good place to start! I hope this group will be helpful to you. All the best,AbbyIE since 11/08 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Thanks Sandy ... I am not in the habit of weighing myself, however after seeing myself in the mirror yesterday (really seeing myself) I did go on the scale and it was quite the surprise. Hoping it will be motivation. Hope you enjoyed your swim ... I love to swim but haven't done so in a very long time.MargaretTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Mon, June 20, 2011 9:35:05 AMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here Welcome Margaret! And thank you for such an honest sharing. You will find a lot of support here. I will be 68 on Sunday and have gained about 30 lbs. although I don't weigh myself anymore. I'll write later. Going swimming with a friend. Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Thanks Sandy ... I am not in the habit of weighing myself, however after seeing myself in the mirror yesterday (really seeing myself) I did go on the scale and it was quite the surprise. Hoping it will be motivation. Hope you enjoyed your swim ... I love to swim but haven't done so in a very long time.MargaretTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Mon, June 20, 2011 9:35:05 AMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here Welcome Margaret! And thank you for such an honest sharing. You will find a lot of support here. I will be 68 on Sunday and have gained about 30 lbs. although I don't weigh myself anymore. I'll write later. Going swimming with a friend. Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Margaret- I am new to this group,too. Your message really touched me. I, too, have struggled with depression and food for basically my whole life but until recently I did not gain or lose much weight. I considered joining Overeaters Anon years ago but thought people wouldn't take me seriously because I didn't weigh that much. But I was always struggling with binging and the aftermath of self-hatred, and loathing. About 10 years ago, I developed a pretty serious eating disorder, dropped quite a bit of weight, and the sick thing about our society was that I kept getting compliments about how great I looked! I was taking in about 300 calories a day and my face looked drawn but in our culture if you don't look that way, you are overweight! I got help quickly and I am proud to say that I will never abuse myself that way again. However, although that behavior has stopped, many of the thoughts did not, so I decided to tackle my food issues with intuitive eating. I have only done this for about a month, but I feel so hopeful and much happier. It is hard but as you say, nothing will change unless you take action. IE is a leap of faith- because the rest of the world it seems is doing the opposite. As for exercise, what is working for me may not work for you but I thought I would share it anyway. I have gone through bouts of no exercise for years and overexercising for months. What I do now is tell myself to do SOMETHING every day- and I have just started with walking- I don't time it or make my heart rate get to a certain level or put any fitness goals with it. I just get my body moving once a day and that is a start. Then I concentrate during and after on how good and healthy and alive I feel while walking- not because it burns calories but because my body is able to do it and it makes me feel good. I have missed a few days and I have resolved not to beat myself up about it. Then the next day I start again. But it has helped me to be MUCH more consistent with exercise than I used to be. Even a little bit of exercise can help with depression, which is why I usually turn to food. Good luck- I'm glad we've both found this support group! Becky > > Hello, > > I'm Margaret and so happy to have found this group. I found it in a search on > yahoo groups. > > I am 50-yrs-old, divorced, mom to three young adults and grandmother to a > 5-month-old boy. I live > > with my boyfriend of two years, who is supportive of me as best he can be, as > much of what I struggle > with is really not within his frame of reference. Still, he is not negative > with me at all, which is truly a > > blessing. > > I discovered books by Geneen Roth many years ago and found much encouragement > and support there. > > Until the past year or so I have never had a weight problem, but definitely an > eating problem, therefore > I did not get much support when I tried to talk about this to most people. I > looked okay on the outside > so what was the problem? The problem was I was dying on the inside, and not > taken seriously, even by > the therapist I was seeing at the time. I was using (and continue to use) food > to hide my pain. Due to > > some pretty serious gastrointestinal problems, I never gained weight, and at > times I had even lost > > a frightening amount ... there was a time a few years ago when my youngest > daughter, now 22-yrs-old, > > would call me just to ask me if I was eating. Oh, I was eating, quite > recklessly. For a few decades I > > have managed to hide just how much I've been eating, and it was easy because > there wasn't a weight > > issue to make it more obvious. > > I have noticed over the years how I have learned a great deal in so many areas > of my life, yet it seems > that I almost refuse to put those things into practice. For instance, I > struggle with depression and I > > know how much exercise would benefit me mentally (not to mention so many other > ways) but I still > > don't do it. I so very much want and need to change this but realize that > without some support and > > an effort to make myself accountable, that's not likely to change. > > The gastrointestinal issues were thankfully resolved about 18 months ago, and I > think coupled with my > age, the weight gain began. I am about 25 or 30 pounds overweight, but it feels > like SO much more, > and has affected my depression noticeably. Yesterday I happened to see my > mid-section in a mirror as > > I was getting dressed and it felt like I was slapped in the face. Right away I > felt a mix of shame but > > also determination. > > I've got a long history of surgeries (mostly for my legs) and hospitalizations > (most for dehydration and > > other intestinal issues) and I am coming up on 15 months of not needing to be in > the hospital for > > anything. As much as I am happy about that, it's pretty sad at the same time. > I want so much to be > able to live a healthy lifestyle, but as I write this a few things come to mind: > > I need to do more than just want it, > > I have to admit how much I want to eat - everything, and all the time, > > Nothing is going to change if I do not take action. > > > Thank you for listening, > Margaret > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Becky, Thanks so much for this. As I was reading, I found myself nodding my head! I also had considered Overeaters Anonymous at different times and did not go for the same reasons, even though I knew there were people at those meetings who were not overweight but struggled greatly with food. And not being taken seriously - really for anything - just hurts so much! I recall the very first time I got up the courage to tell a therapist I was seeing (this was over twenty years ago when talking with a therapist about anything was just so difficult to begin with) - I told her all about the binge eating, which she did not "classify" as such, and with tears streaming talked about all the pain/shame I was feeling around food, eating etc. and when the appointment was finished, she told me I'd worked hard and should go get myself a nice big donut! TRUE story! I found myself nodding again reading about your face looking drawn and getting compliments - the few different times when I lost large amounts of weight and was not overweight to begin with, I would get compliments so often, and come home and see my face and neck and how scary-thin it was and would just be dumbfounded.Yet another point you made that has been with me in pretty much all areas of my life - when a behavior stops, the thoughts do not, and I am right there front and center right now. I keep thinking of quick fixes I ought to do, such as buy one of those "cleanser" treatments - not to cleanse my body but because I think it will make me lose some weight. I am grateful that I do not take action on the thoughts, but it is so bothersome that they are there.As for exercise, I was realizing yesterday how I have never considered myself as having a sedentary lifestyle, but when it comes down to it, I do. I told myself I need to do just one thing every day - yesterday I parked far away from the grocery store I had to go to just to get the extra walk in. It was not a long walk by any means, but I am happy to be paying attention to these things.Thanks again,MargaretTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wed, June 22, 2011 1:27:42 AMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here Margaret- I am new to this group,too. Your message really touched me. I, too, have struggled with depression and food for basically my whole life but until recently I did not gain or lose much weight. I considered joining Overeaters Anon years ago but thought people wouldn't take me seriously because I didn't weigh that much. But I was always struggling with binging and the aftermath of self-hatred, and loathing. About 10 years ago, I developed a pretty serious eating disorder, dropped quite a bit of weight, and the sick thing about our society was that I kept getting compliments about how great I looked! I was taking in about 300 calories a day and my face looked drawn but in our culture if you don't look that way, you are overweight! I got help quickly and I am proud to say that I will never abuse myself that way again. However, although that behavior has stopped, many of the thoughts did not, so I decided to tackle my food issues with intuitive eating. I have only done this for about a month, but I feel so hopeful and much happier. It is hard but as you say, nothing will change unless you take action. IE is a leap of faith- because the rest of the world it seems is doing the opposite. As for exercise, what is working for me may not work for you but I thought I would share it anyway. I have gone through bouts of no exercise for years and overexercising for months. What I do now is tell myself to do SOMETHING every day- and I have just started with walking- I don't time it or make my heart rate get to a certain level or put any fitness goals with it. I just get my body moving once a day and that is a start. Then I concentrate during and after on how good and healthy and alive I feel while walking- not because it burns calories but because my body is able to do it and it makes me feel good. I have missed a few days and I have resolved not to beat myself up about it. Then the next day I start again. But it has helped me to be MUCH more consistent with exercise than I used to be. Even a little bit of exercise can help with depression, which is why I usually turn to food. Good luck- I'm glad we've both found this support group! Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 Margaret, it takes time. I'm waiting to eat now -- I am finally hungry since I woke up this morning, about 2 1/2 hours ago. I always have a few sips of water followed by my cup of coffee, though, and now I wait until I'm hungry. It feels good to finally understand hunger. To be mildly hungry is a pleasant sensation. Now I must decide what to eat, but I already thought about this earlier, so I will have my choice of breakfast food today, which is egg + salsa, maybe even one egg w/one egg white + salsa so I feel full. It took me a llllong time to get to this point, it is a complete revamping of our thinking process and takes time. Better that than feeling deprived. If I want a bagel or so, I'll have it, but not now. Later. If I want it. I thought about "cleansing" my system recently, I'm usually constipated, but I add chia seeds to my food sometimes and they work very well. I decided to keep doing that and let my body do its own work. It did. I found out about chia seeds when I did research a while back on the net. I remember a while back I cut out all meats and dairy because I thought I'd try a vegan lifestyle. All of a sudden I was going to the bathroom like 3 times a day! Never happened before, but I couldn't keep up the vegan lifestyle at that moment. Who knows? I might cut out more meats and dairy in the future, but right now I'm still eating the stuff, although less of it. Just my thoughts on the matter. Have a nice day! Tai To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wednesday, June 22, 2011 10:06 AMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here Becky, Thanks so much for this. As I was reading, I found myself nodding my head! I also had considered Overeaters Anonymous at different times and did not go for the same reasons, even though I knew there were people at those meetings who were not overweight but struggled greatly with food. And not being taken seriously - really for anything - just hurts so much! I recall the very first time I got up the courage to tell a therapist I was seeing (this was over twenty years ago when talking with a therapist about anything was just so difficult to begin with) - I told her all about the binge eating, which she did not "classify" as such, and with tears streaming talked about all the pain/shame I was feeling around food, eating etc. and when the appointment was finished, she told me I'd worked hard and should go get myself a nice big donut! TRUE story! I found myself nodding again reading about your face looking drawn and getting compliments - the few different times when I lost large amounts of weight and was not overweight to begin with, I would get compliments so often, and come home and see my face and neck and how scary-thin it was and would just be dumbfounded.Yet another point you made that has been with me in pretty much all areas of my life - when a behavior stops, the thoughts do not, and I am right there front and center right now. I keep thinking of quick fixes I ought to do, such as buy one of those "cleanser" treatments - not to cleanse my body but because I think it will make me lose some weight. I am grateful that I do not take action on the thoughts, but it is so bothersome that they are there.As for exercise, I was realizing yesterday how I have never considered myself as having a sedentary lifestyle, but when it comes down to it, I do. I told myself I need to do just one thing every day - yesterday I parked far away from the grocery store I had to go to just to get the extra walk in. It was not a long walk by any means, but I am happy to be paying attention to these things.Thanks again,Margaret- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 You and me both Margaret, have to do more than just 'want' ... together we can do this. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Carolyn > > Hello, > > I'm Margaret and so happy to have found this group. I found it in a search on > yahoo groups. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 You and me both Margaret, have to do more than just 'want' ... together we can do this. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Carolyn > > Hello, > > I'm Margaret and so happy to have found this group. I found it in a search on > yahoo groups. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 I am another one who knows just how important movement is. It actually is the best medicine that there is for my depression ... but, crazy, I am at a stage of not giving myself what I need most. Perhaps today I will get out for a run with my friends, I hope so ... from not keeping up with my core exercises I have a tendency to easily hurt my back and yesterday I managed to do so again, when I simply bent over the wrong way when cleaning a toilet! ... I hope I am up to getting outside for a run, which now will end up being more of a walk ... I have lost most of my running capacity. But, I have to keep telling myself ... I will be there again one day! one day at a time. Carolyn p.s. I too was at the point of considering OA! > > Becky, > > Thanks so much for this. As I was reading, I found myself nodding my head! I > also had considered Overeaters Anonymous at different times and did Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 I am another one who knows just how important movement is. It actually is the best medicine that there is for my depression ... but, crazy, I am at a stage of not giving myself what I need most. Perhaps today I will get out for a run with my friends, I hope so ... from not keeping up with my core exercises I have a tendency to easily hurt my back and yesterday I managed to do so again, when I simply bent over the wrong way when cleaning a toilet! ... I hope I am up to getting outside for a run, which now will end up being more of a walk ... I have lost most of my running capacity. But, I have to keep telling myself ... I will be there again one day! one day at a time. Carolyn p.s. I too was at the point of considering OA! > > Becky, > > Thanks so much for this. As I was reading, I found myself nodding my head! I > also had considered Overeaters Anonymous at different times and did Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2011 Report Share Posted June 23, 2011 Margaret, I love how you noted that you are happy to be paying attention to the little things. That is what I have noticed- that I am so much more grateful for the little joyful things, the feeling that I am even able to walk without pain rather than feeling I must be burning calories. or the way simple foods taste- which I never noticed before because I didn't actually taste my food. Today I ate a few walnuts and it was an epiphany- I never knew what walnuts actually tasted like until today! I always thought I didn't like them but I actually do. These little things all add up- like parking further away. That is one more thing you did to be good to yourself- and you should be proud! I am shocked at what your therapist said- although I guess I shouldn't be. People can be so oblivious- but I've realized it's usually not vindictive. For example, my dad keeps nagging me about counting calories with him on his diet and I've said no in several polite ways. But he just wasn't getting it. So I said to him- " Dad, I'm glad you've found something that works for you, but it doesn't work for me. I'm not interested in counting calories or restricting what I eat any longer. " It's hard because I feel like I've disappointed him, but I also realize that by standing up for myself and protecting myself, I've made a positive step in the right direction. Your email brought me joy and support. Thank you! > > Becky, > > Thanks so much for this. As I was reading, I found myself nodding my head! I > also had considered Overeaters Anonymous at different times and did not go for > the same reasons, even though I knew there were people at those meetings who > were not overweight but struggled greatly with food. And not being taken > seriously - really for anything - just hurts so much! I recall the very first > time I got up the courage to tell a therapist I was seeing (this was over twenty > years ago when talking with a therapist about anything was just so difficult to > begin with) - I told her all about the binge eating, which she did not > " classify " as such, and with tears streaming talked about all the pain/shame I > was feeling around food, eating etc. and when the appointment was finished, she > told me I'd worked hard and should go get myself a nice big donut! TRUE story! > > > I found myself nodding again reading about your face looking drawn and getting > compliments - the few different times when I lost large amounts of weight and > was not overweight to begin with, I would get compliments so often, and come > home and see my face and neck and how scary-thin it was and would just be > dumbfounded. > > Yet another point you made that has been with me in pretty much all areas of my > life - when a behavior stops, the thoughts do not, and I am right there front > and center right now. I keep thinking of quick fixes I ought to do, such as buy > one of those " cleanser " treatments - not to cleanse my body but because I think > it will make me lose some weight. I am grateful that I do not take action on > the thoughts, but it is so bothersome that they are there. > > As for exercise, I was realizing yesterday how I have never considered myself as > having a sedentary lifestyle, but when it comes down to it, I do. I told myself > I need to do just one thing every day - yesterday I parked far away from the > grocery store I had to go to just to get the extra walk in. It was not a long > walk by any means, but I am happy to be paying attention to these things. > > Thanks again, > Margaret > > > > > ________________________________ > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Wed, June 22, 2011 1:27:42 AM > Subject: Re: Thankful to be here > > > Margaret- I am new to this group,too. Your message really touched me. I, too, > have struggled with depression and food for basically my whole life but until > recently I did not gain or lose much weight. I considered joining Overeaters > Anon years ago but thought people wouldn't take me seriously because I didn't > weigh that much. But I was always struggling with binging and the aftermath of > self-hatred, and loathing. About 10 years ago, I developed a pretty serious > eating disorder, dropped quite a bit of weight, and the sick thing about our > society was that I kept getting compliments about how great I looked! I was > taking in about 300 calories a day and my face looked drawn but in our culture > if you don't look that way, you are overweight! I got help quickly and I am > proud to say that I will never abuse myself that way again. However, although > that behavior has stopped, many of the thoughts did not, so I decided to tackle > my food issues with intuitive eating. I have only done this for about a month, > but I feel so hopeful and much happier. It is hard but as you say, nothing will > change unless you take action. IE is a leap of faith- because the rest of the > world it seems is doing the opposite. > > As for exercise, what is working for me may not work for you but I thought I > would share it anyway. I have gone through bouts of no exercise for years and > overexercising for months. What I do now is tell myself to do SOMETHING every > day- and I have just started with walking- I don't time it or make my heart rate > get to a certain level or put any fitness goals with it. I just get my body > moving once a day and that is a start. Then I concentrate during and after on > how good and healthy and alive I feel while walking- not because it burns > calories but because my body is able to do it and it makes me feel good. I have > missed a few days and I have resolved not to beat myself up about it. Then the > next day I start again. But it has helped me to be MUCH more consistent with > exercise than I used to be. Even a little bit of exercise can help with > depression, which is why I usually turn to food. > > Good luck- I'm glad we've both found this support group! > Becky > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2011 Report Share Posted June 23, 2011 Margaret, I love how you noted that you are happy to be paying attention to the little things. That is what I have noticed- that I am so much more grateful for the little joyful things, the feeling that I am even able to walk without pain rather than feeling I must be burning calories. or the way simple foods taste- which I never noticed before because I didn't actually taste my food. Today I ate a few walnuts and it was an epiphany- I never knew what walnuts actually tasted like until today! I always thought I didn't like them but I actually do. These little things all add up- like parking further away. That is one more thing you did to be good to yourself- and you should be proud! I am shocked at what your therapist said- although I guess I shouldn't be. People can be so oblivious- but I've realized it's usually not vindictive. For example, my dad keeps nagging me about counting calories with him on his diet and I've said no in several polite ways. But he just wasn't getting it. So I said to him- " Dad, I'm glad you've found something that works for you, but it doesn't work for me. I'm not interested in counting calories or restricting what I eat any longer. " It's hard because I feel like I've disappointed him, but I also realize that by standing up for myself and protecting myself, I've made a positive step in the right direction. Your email brought me joy and support. Thank you! > > Becky, > > Thanks so much for this. As I was reading, I found myself nodding my head! I > also had considered Overeaters Anonymous at different times and did not go for > the same reasons, even though I knew there were people at those meetings who > were not overweight but struggled greatly with food. And not being taken > seriously - really for anything - just hurts so much! I recall the very first > time I got up the courage to tell a therapist I was seeing (this was over twenty > years ago when talking with a therapist about anything was just so difficult to > begin with) - I told her all about the binge eating, which she did not > " classify " as such, and with tears streaming talked about all the pain/shame I > was feeling around food, eating etc. and when the appointment was finished, she > told me I'd worked hard and should go get myself a nice big donut! TRUE story! > > > I found myself nodding again reading about your face looking drawn and getting > compliments - the few different times when I lost large amounts of weight and > was not overweight to begin with, I would get compliments so often, and come > home and see my face and neck and how scary-thin it was and would just be > dumbfounded. > > Yet another point you made that has been with me in pretty much all areas of my > life - when a behavior stops, the thoughts do not, and I am right there front > and center right now. I keep thinking of quick fixes I ought to do, such as buy > one of those " cleanser " treatments - not to cleanse my body but because I think > it will make me lose some weight. I am grateful that I do not take action on > the thoughts, but it is so bothersome that they are there. > > As for exercise, I was realizing yesterday how I have never considered myself as > having a sedentary lifestyle, but when it comes down to it, I do. I told myself > I need to do just one thing every day - yesterday I parked far away from the > grocery store I had to go to just to get the extra walk in. It was not a long > walk by any means, but I am happy to be paying attention to these things. > > Thanks again, > Margaret > > > > > ________________________________ > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Wed, June 22, 2011 1:27:42 AM > Subject: Re: Thankful to be here > > > Margaret- I am new to this group,too. Your message really touched me. I, too, > have struggled with depression and food for basically my whole life but until > recently I did not gain or lose much weight. I considered joining Overeaters > Anon years ago but thought people wouldn't take me seriously because I didn't > weigh that much. But I was always struggling with binging and the aftermath of > self-hatred, and loathing. About 10 years ago, I developed a pretty serious > eating disorder, dropped quite a bit of weight, and the sick thing about our > society was that I kept getting compliments about how great I looked! I was > taking in about 300 calories a day and my face looked drawn but in our culture > if you don't look that way, you are overweight! I got help quickly and I am > proud to say that I will never abuse myself that way again. However, although > that behavior has stopped, many of the thoughts did not, so I decided to tackle > my food issues with intuitive eating. I have only done this for about a month, > but I feel so hopeful and much happier. It is hard but as you say, nothing will > change unless you take action. IE is a leap of faith- because the rest of the > world it seems is doing the opposite. > > As for exercise, what is working for me may not work for you but I thought I > would share it anyway. I have gone through bouts of no exercise for years and > overexercising for months. What I do now is tell myself to do SOMETHING every > day- and I have just started with walking- I don't time it or make my heart rate > get to a certain level or put any fitness goals with it. I just get my body > moving once a day and that is a start. Then I concentrate during and after on > how good and healthy and alive I feel while walking- not because it burns > calories but because my body is able to do it and it makes me feel good. I have > missed a few days and I have resolved not to beat myself up about it. Then the > next day I start again. But it has helped me to be MUCH more consistent with > exercise than I used to be. Even a little bit of exercise can help with > depression, which is why I usually turn to food. > > Good luck- I'm glad we've both found this support group! > Becky > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Reflecting upon this thread, I also realize that some therapists really do not know how to zone in on a person's problems. My therapist would fall asleep during the session, I guess he was tired. :-) I was in therapy for many years, and did my own research into problems and finally left therapy, although there were periods of depression or confusion that made me think I needed to go back to therapy, but I pulled out of it before that. Tai To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2011 5:48 PMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here Margaret, I love how you noted that you are happy to be paying attention to the little things. That is what I have noticed- that I am so much more grateful for the little joyful things, the feeling that I am even able to walk without pain rather than feeling I must be burning calories. or the way simple foods taste- which I never noticed before because I didn't actually taste my food. Today I ate a few walnuts and it was an epiphany- I never knew what walnuts actually tasted like until today! I always thought I didn't like them but I actually do. These little things all add up- like parking further away. That is one more thing you did to be good to yourself- and you should be proud!I am shocked at what your therapist said- although I guess I shouldn't be. People can be so oblivious- but I've realized it's usually not vindictive. For example, my dad keeps nagging me about counting calories with him on his diet and I've said no in several polite ways. But he just wasn't getting it. So I said to him-" Dad, I'm glad you've found something that works for you, but it doesn't work for me. I'm not interested in counting calories or restricting what I eat any longer." It's hard because I feel like I've disappointed him, but I also realize that by standing up for myself and protecting myself, I've made a positive step in the right direction.Your email brought me joy and support. Thank you!>> Becky, > > Thanks so much for this. As I was reading, I found myself nodding my head! I > also had considered Overeaters Anonymous at different times and did not go for > the same reasons, even though I knew there were people at those meetings who > were not overweight but struggled greatly with food. And not being taken > seriously - really for anything - just hurts so much! I recall the very first > time I got up the courage to tell a therapist I was seeing (this was over twenty > years ago when talking with a therapist about anything was just so difficult to > begin with) - I told her all about the binge eating, which she did not > "classify" as such, and with tears streaming talked about all the pain/shame I > was feeling around food, eating etc. and when the appointment was finished, she > told me I'd worked hard and should go get myself a nice big donut! TRUE story! > > > I found myself nodding again reading about your face looking drawn and getting > compliments - the few different times when I lost large amounts of weight and > was not overweight to begin with, I would get compliments so often, and come > home and see my face and neck and how scary-thin it was and would just be > dumbfounded.> > Yet another point you made that has been with me in pretty much all areas of my > life - when a behavior stops, the thoughts do not, and I am right there front > and center right now. I keep thinking of quick fixes I ought to do, such as buy > one of those "cleanser" treatments - not to cleanse my body but because I think > it will make me lose some weight. I am grateful that I do not take action on > the thoughts, but it is so bothersome that they are there.> > As for exercise, I was realizing yesterday how I have never considered myself as > having a sedentary lifestyle, but when it comes down to it, I do. I told myself > I need to do just one thing every day - yesterday I parked far away from the > grocery store I had to go to just to get the extra walk in. It was not a long > walk by any means, but I am happy to be paying attention to these things.> > Thanks again,> Margaret> > > > > ________________________________> > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Wed, June 22, 2011 1:27:42 AM> Subject: Re: Thankful to be here> > > Margaret- I am new to this group,too. Your message really touched me. I, too, > have struggled with depression and food for basically my whole life but until > recently I did not gain or lose much weight. I considered joining Overeaters > Anon years ago but thought people wouldn't take me seriously because I didn't > weigh that much. But I was always struggling with binging and the aftermath of > self-hatred, and loathing. About 10 years ago, I developed a pretty serious > eating disorder, dropped quite a bit of weight, and the sick thing about our > society was that I kept getting compliments about how great I looked! I was > taking in about 300 calories a day and my face looked drawn but in our culture > if you don't look that way, you are overweight! I got help quickly and I am > proud to say that I will never abuse myself that way again. However, although > that behavior has stopped, many of the thoughts did not, so I decided to tackle > my food issues with intuitive eating. I have only done this for about a month, > but I feel so hopeful and much happier. It is hard but as you say, nothing will > change unless you take action. IE is a leap of faith- because the rest of the > world it seems is doing the opposite.> > As for exercise, what is working for me may not work for you but I thought I > would share it anyway. I have gone through bouts of no exercise for years and > overexercising for months. What I do now is tell myself to do SOMETHING every > day- and I have just started with walking- I don't time it or make my heart rate > get to a certain level or put any fitness goals with it. I just get my body > moving once a day and that is a start. Then I concentrate during and after on > how good and healthy and alive I feel while walking- not because it burns > calories but because my body is able to do it and it makes me feel good. I have > missed a few days and I have resolved not to beat myself up about it. Then the > next day I start again. But it has helped me to be MUCH more consistent with > exercise than I used to be. Even a little bit of exercise can help with > depression, which is why I usually turn to food.> > Good luck- I'm glad we've both found this support group!> Becky> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Reflecting upon this thread, I also realize that some therapists really do not know how to zone in on a person's problems. My therapist would fall asleep during the session, I guess he was tired. :-) I was in therapy for many years, and did my own research into problems and finally left therapy, although there were periods of depression or confusion that made me think I needed to go back to therapy, but I pulled out of it before that. Tai To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2011 5:48 PMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here Margaret, I love how you noted that you are happy to be paying attention to the little things. That is what I have noticed- that I am so much more grateful for the little joyful things, the feeling that I am even able to walk without pain rather than feeling I must be burning calories. or the way simple foods taste- which I never noticed before because I didn't actually taste my food. Today I ate a few walnuts and it was an epiphany- I never knew what walnuts actually tasted like until today! I always thought I didn't like them but I actually do. These little things all add up- like parking further away. That is one more thing you did to be good to yourself- and you should be proud!I am shocked at what your therapist said- although I guess I shouldn't be. People can be so oblivious- but I've realized it's usually not vindictive. For example, my dad keeps nagging me about counting calories with him on his diet and I've said no in several polite ways. But he just wasn't getting it. So I said to him-" Dad, I'm glad you've found something that works for you, but it doesn't work for me. I'm not interested in counting calories or restricting what I eat any longer." It's hard because I feel like I've disappointed him, but I also realize that by standing up for myself and protecting myself, I've made a positive step in the right direction.Your email brought me joy and support. Thank you!>> Becky, > > Thanks so much for this. As I was reading, I found myself nodding my head! I > also had considered Overeaters Anonymous at different times and did not go for > the same reasons, even though I knew there were people at those meetings who > were not overweight but struggled greatly with food. And not being taken > seriously - really for anything - just hurts so much! I recall the very first > time I got up the courage to tell a therapist I was seeing (this was over twenty > years ago when talking with a therapist about anything was just so difficult to > begin with) - I told her all about the binge eating, which she did not > "classify" as such, and with tears streaming talked about all the pain/shame I > was feeling around food, eating etc. and when the appointment was finished, she > told me I'd worked hard and should go get myself a nice big donut! TRUE story! > > > I found myself nodding again reading about your face looking drawn and getting > compliments - the few different times when I lost large amounts of weight and > was not overweight to begin with, I would get compliments so often, and come > home and see my face and neck and how scary-thin it was and would just be > dumbfounded.> > Yet another point you made that has been with me in pretty much all areas of my > life - when a behavior stops, the thoughts do not, and I am right there front > and center right now. I keep thinking of quick fixes I ought to do, such as buy > one of those "cleanser" treatments - not to cleanse my body but because I think > it will make me lose some weight. I am grateful that I do not take action on > the thoughts, but it is so bothersome that they are there.> > As for exercise, I was realizing yesterday how I have never considered myself as > having a sedentary lifestyle, but when it comes down to it, I do. I told myself > I need to do just one thing every day - yesterday I parked far away from the > grocery store I had to go to just to get the extra walk in. It was not a long > walk by any means, but I am happy to be paying attention to these things.> > Thanks again,> Margaret> > > > > ________________________________> > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Wed, June 22, 2011 1:27:42 AM> Subject: Re: Thankful to be here> > > Margaret- I am new to this group,too. Your message really touched me. I, too, > have struggled with depression and food for basically my whole life but until > recently I did not gain or lose much weight. I considered joining Overeaters > Anon years ago but thought people wouldn't take me seriously because I didn't > weigh that much. But I was always struggling with binging and the aftermath of > self-hatred, and loathing. About 10 years ago, I developed a pretty serious > eating disorder, dropped quite a bit of weight, and the sick thing about our > society was that I kept getting compliments about how great I looked! I was > taking in about 300 calories a day and my face looked drawn but in our culture > if you don't look that way, you are overweight! I got help quickly and I am > proud to say that I will never abuse myself that way again. However, although > that behavior has stopped, many of the thoughts did not, so I decided to tackle > my food issues with intuitive eating. I have only done this for about a month, > but I feel so hopeful and much happier. It is hard but as you say, nothing will > change unless you take action. IE is a leap of faith- because the rest of the > world it seems is doing the opposite.> > As for exercise, what is working for me may not work for you but I thought I > would share it anyway. I have gone through bouts of no exercise for years and > overexercising for months. What I do now is tell myself to do SOMETHING every > day- and I have just started with walking- I don't time it or make my heart rate > get to a certain level or put any fitness goals with it. I just get my body > moving once a day and that is a start. Then I concentrate during and after on > how good and healthy and alive I feel while walking- not because it burns > calories but because my body is able to do it and it makes me feel good. I have > missed a few days and I have resolved not to beat myself up about it. Then the > next day I start again. But it has helped me to be MUCH more consistent with > exercise than I used to be. Even a little bit of exercise can help with > depression, which is why I usually turn to food.> > Good luck- I'm glad we've both found this support group!> Becky> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Reflecting upon this thread, I also realize that some therapists really do not know how to zone in on a person's problems. My therapist would fall asleep during the session, I guess he was tired. :-) I was in therapy for many years, and did my own research into problems and finally left therapy, although there were periods of depression or confusion that made me think I needed to go back to therapy, but I pulled out of it before that. Tai To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2011 5:48 PMSubject: Re: Thankful to be here Margaret, I love how you noted that you are happy to be paying attention to the little things. That is what I have noticed- that I am so much more grateful for the little joyful things, the feeling that I am even able to walk without pain rather than feeling I must be burning calories. or the way simple foods taste- which I never noticed before because I didn't actually taste my food. Today I ate a few walnuts and it was an epiphany- I never knew what walnuts actually tasted like until today! I always thought I didn't like them but I actually do. These little things all add up- like parking further away. That is one more thing you did to be good to yourself- and you should be proud!I am shocked at what your therapist said- although I guess I shouldn't be. People can be so oblivious- but I've realized it's usually not vindictive. For example, my dad keeps nagging me about counting calories with him on his diet and I've said no in several polite ways. But he just wasn't getting it. So I said to him-" Dad, I'm glad you've found something that works for you, but it doesn't work for me. I'm not interested in counting calories or restricting what I eat any longer." It's hard because I feel like I've disappointed him, but I also realize that by standing up for myself and protecting myself, I've made a positive step in the right direction.Your email brought me joy and support. Thank you!>> Becky, > > Thanks so much for this. As I was reading, I found myself nodding my head! I > also had considered Overeaters Anonymous at different times and did not go for > the same reasons, even though I knew there were people at those meetings who > were not overweight but struggled greatly with food. And not being taken > seriously - really for anything - just hurts so much! I recall the very first > time I got up the courage to tell a therapist I was seeing (this was over twenty > years ago when talking with a therapist about anything was just so difficult to > begin with) - I told her all about the binge eating, which she did not > "classify" as such, and with tears streaming talked about all the pain/shame I > was feeling around food, eating etc. and when the appointment was finished, she > told me I'd worked hard and should go get myself a nice big donut! TRUE story! > > > I found myself nodding again reading about your face looking drawn and getting > compliments - the few different times when I lost large amounts of weight and > was not overweight to begin with, I would get compliments so often, and come > home and see my face and neck and how scary-thin it was and would just be > dumbfounded.> > Yet another point you made that has been with me in pretty much all areas of my > life - when a behavior stops, the thoughts do not, and I am right there front > and center right now. I keep thinking of quick fixes I ought to do, such as buy > one of those "cleanser" treatments - not to cleanse my body but because I think > it will make me lose some weight. I am grateful that I do not take action on > the thoughts, but it is so bothersome that they are there.> > As for exercise, I was realizing yesterday how I have never considered myself as > having a sedentary lifestyle, but when it comes down to it, I do. I told myself > I need to do just one thing every day - yesterday I parked far away from the > grocery store I had to go to just to get the extra walk in. It was not a long > walk by any means, but I am happy to be paying attention to these things.> > Thanks again,> Margaret> > > > > ________________________________> > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Wed, June 22, 2011 1:27:42 AM> Subject: Re: Thankful to be here> > > Margaret- I am new to this group,too. Your message really touched me. I, too, > have struggled with depression and food for basically my whole life but until > recently I did not gain or lose much weight. I considered joining Overeaters > Anon years ago but thought people wouldn't take me seriously because I didn't > weigh that much. But I was always struggling with binging and the aftermath of > self-hatred, and loathing. About 10 years ago, I developed a pretty serious > eating disorder, dropped quite a bit of weight, and the sick thing about our > society was that I kept getting compliments about how great I looked! I was > taking in about 300 calories a day and my face looked drawn but in our culture > if you don't look that way, you are overweight! I got help quickly and I am > proud to say that I will never abuse myself that way again. However, although > that behavior has stopped, many of the thoughts did not, so I decided to tackle > my food issues with intuitive eating. I have only done this for about a month, > but I feel so hopeful and much happier. It is hard but as you say, nothing will > change unless you take action. IE is a leap of faith- because the rest of the > world it seems is doing the opposite.> > As for exercise, what is working for me may not work for you but I thought I > would share it anyway. I have gone through bouts of no exercise for years and > overexercising for months. What I do now is tell myself to do SOMETHING every > day- and I have just started with walking- I don't time it or make my heart rate > get to a certain level or put any fitness goals with it. I just get my body > moving once a day and that is a start. Then I concentrate during and after on > how good and healthy and alive I feel while walking- not because it burns > calories but because my body is able to do it and it makes me feel good. I have > missed a few days and I have resolved not to beat myself up about it. Then the > next day I start again. But it has helped me to be MUCH more consistent with > exercise than I used to be. Even a little bit of exercise can help with > depression, which is why I usually turn to food.> > Good luck- I'm glad we've both found this support group!> Becky> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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