Re: What do you do when the rest of the family doesn't want to know about it?

November 28, 2010

That is how it is for me. Trying to explain it - another matter entirely. Yes

some good times are great, but when the bad times (which definately outweigh the

good ones) suck you dry, then it is not enough. As I am trying to tell my

family, just because we got along once, just because she says she loves me, it

is not enough. Not when you have to go through all that other stuff.

And it is so hard when the family doesn't want to know about it, as they only

reinforce what the Nada does. They don't want to believe you, will accuse you of

making it up, exaggerating, holding a grudge, being bitter. And worst of all,

patronize you in saying that they only want what is best for you and then try

and tell you what it is. No - what is best for me is for them to listen to me,

to actually hear me and to make the Nada take responsibility for her behaviour.

I am not holding a grudge, I just want her her to take responsibility for her

behaviour, as I think any adult should.

In some ways I think it is worse behaviour when the family turns a blind eye. I

think it is more like that example given where they just watched that poor girl

being raped. It is bad enough that someone would do that to someone, but to then

just stand and watch? Having a Nada with BPD is already an uphill battle. Yet

because they don't want to know about it (or see the proverbial elephant in the

room) they throw a few boulders down at you. After all, it is bad enough that

they are not doing anything. Then to have someone challenge them on that or try

and tell them what it was like and give them the opportunity to realise that

they didn't do anything and they could have. And that because they didn't want

to deal with it themselves, that they made things so tough for you. I am

beginning to think that these are the people it is best to walk away from.

I have always grown up thinking that family is so important and is always there

when you need them the most. But really, when I have needed them the most, they

haven't been there and still aren't. That is a real kick in the guts.

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