Guest guest Posted November 23, 2010 Report Share Posted November 23, 2010 LOLOL!! I'm sharing this with my Sister! Hilarious! -Annie > > > Joking can be good for the soul in trying times! > > Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged > Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? > Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas > Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me > Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And....... > Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are > Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us > Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why > Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire > Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells > Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House > Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe > Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House > Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate > Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!! > > Hope you are smiling. Sue > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2010 Report Share Posted November 23, 2010 This is so wonderful. The BPD one is perfect of course, especially the last part about not telling why. Holidays were filled with her anger but no explanation. This helps me laugh a bit about it. Thank you! > > > Joking can be good for the soul in trying times! > > Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged > Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? > Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas > Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me > Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And....... > Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are > Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us > Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why > Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire > Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells > Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House > Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe > Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House > Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate > Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!! > > Hope you are smiling. Sue > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2010 Report Share Posted November 23, 2010 Thanks for the levity! My all-time-favorite: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean everyone isn't out to get you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2010 Report Share Posted November 23, 2010 Brilliant!!! I personally loved the Futurama song " Santa Claus is Gunning You down " , made me crack up every time I heard it. > > only mildly offensive > > > http://www.nataliedee.com/121209/i-think-youre-a-little-confused-about-christmas\ -spirit-mr-candycane.jpg > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2010 Report Share Posted November 24, 2010 that's hilarious! love the ADHD one! > > > Joking can be good for the soul in trying times! > > Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged > Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? > Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas > Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me > Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And....... > Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are > Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us > Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why > Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire > Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells > Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House > Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe > Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House > Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate > Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!! > > Hope you are smiling. Sue > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2010 Report Share Posted November 24, 2010 Ha ha ha Needed that. I'm sitting here singing that line over and over laughing. Must stop. Sound just like crazy nada... ha ha > > Brilliant!!! > > I personally loved the Futurama song " Santa Claus is Gunning You down " , made me crack up every time I heard it. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2010 Report Share Posted November 24, 2010 Ha ha ha Needed that. I'm sitting here singing that line over and over laughing. Must stop. Sound just like crazy nada... ha ha > > Brilliant!!! > > I personally loved the Futurama song " Santa Claus is Gunning You down " , made me crack up every time I heard it. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2010 Report Share Posted November 24, 2010 Ha ha ha Needed that. I'm sitting here singing that line over and over laughing. Must stop. Sound just like crazy nada... ha ha > > Brilliant!!! > > I personally loved the Futurama song " Santa Claus is Gunning You down " , made me crack up every time I heard it. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2010 Report Share Posted November 24, 2010 These are great--thanks! > > > > > > Joking can be good for the soul in trying times! > > > > Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged > > Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? > > Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas > > Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me > > Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And....... > > Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are > > Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us > > Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why > > Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire > > Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells > > Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House > > Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe > > Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House > > Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate > > Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!! > > > > Hope you are smiling. Sue > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2010 Report Share Posted November 24, 2010 Here are some more of the lyrics for you, so you dont have to sing the same line over and over! He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're on the can. He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan. Ohh.... You better not breathe, you better not move. You better off dead, I'm telling you dude, Santa Claus is gunning you down! And another Futurama Chrissy song: On the fourth day of Xmas I stole from that lady: Four familiy photos Three jars of pennies Two former husbands And a slipper on a shoe-tree! > > > > Brilliant!!! > > > > I personally loved the Futurama song " Santa Claus is Gunning You down " , made me crack up every time I heard it. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2010 Report Share Posted November 25, 2010 Here's some fabulously hilarious awkward family moments. The comments are good too. http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/page/2/ Happy Thanksgiving! Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2010 Report Share Posted November 25, 2010 Here's some fabulously hilarious awkward family moments. The comments are good too. http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/page/2/ Happy Thanksgiving! Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2010 Report Share Posted November 25, 2010 Here's some fabulously hilarious awkward family moments. The comments are good too. http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/page/2/ Happy Thanksgiving! Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2010 Report Share Posted November 25, 2010 Great site, good for some real belly-laughs. The " Thanksgiving Letter " is so nada, its scary. (smells like obsessive-compulsive personality disorder to me!) Thanks for sharing! -Annie > > > Here's some fabulously hilarious awkward family moments. The comments are good too. > > http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/page/2/ > Happy Thanksgiving! > Sue > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2010 Report Share Posted November 25, 2010 Oh My Gosh! I skipped over the Tnaksgiving letter. That is so hysterical! Totally anal! Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2010 Report Share Posted November 25, 2010 Oh My Gosh! I skipped over the Tnaksgiving letter. That is so hysterical! Totally anal! Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2010 Report Share Posted November 25, 2010 No kidding! " regulation sized " casserole dishes? Good lord. Just to warn you all, I sent a link of that website to a few friends, and as a result spam emails were sent to my entire addressbook. oops. > > > > Oh My Gosh! I skipped over the Tnaksgiving letter. That is so hysterical! Totally anal! > Sue > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2010 Report Share Posted November 28, 2010 Thank you, this was hilarious! It is good to laugh! > > > > > > > > > Joking can be good for the soul in trying times! > > > > > > Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged > > > Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? > > > Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas > > > Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me > > > Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And....... > > > Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are > > > Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us > > > Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why > > > Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire > > > Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells > > > Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House > > > Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe > > > Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House > > > Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate > > > Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!! > > > > > > Hope you are smiling. Sue > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2010 Report Share Posted November 28, 2010 Thank you, this was hilarious! It is good to laugh! > > > > > > > > > Joking can be good for the soul in trying times! > > > > > > Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged > > > Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? > > > Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas > > > Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me > > > Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And....... > > > Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are > > > Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us > > > Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why > > > Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire > > > Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells > > > Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House > > > Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe > > > Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House > > > Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate > > > Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!! > > > > > > Hope you are smiling. Sue > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2010 Report Share Posted November 28, 2010 Thank you, this was hilarious! It is good to laugh! > > > > > > > > > Joking can be good for the soul in trying times! > > > > > > Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged > > > Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices? > > > Amnesia -- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas > > > Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me > > > Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) -- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And....... > > > Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are > > > Paranoid -- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us > > > Borderline Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why > > > Antisocial Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire > > > Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells > > > Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House > > > Alzheimer's Disease/Senile Dementia -- Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe > > > Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House > > > Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate > > > Attention Deficit Disorder -- We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!! > > > > > > Hope you are smiling. Sue > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2010 Report Share Posted December 10, 2010 I looked again and here's some more to laugh about. Funny Jokes – The State Mental Hospital Posted on July 28, 2009 by resolutions Funny Jokes MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up. This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care. (Well, my job is done …..Your turn!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2010 Report Share Posted December 10, 2010 I looked again and here's some more to laugh about. Funny Jokes – The State Mental Hospital Posted on July 28, 2009 by resolutions Funny Jokes MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up. This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care. (Well, my job is done …..Your turn!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2010 Report Share Posted December 10, 2010 I looked again and here's some more to laugh about. Funny Jokes – The State Mental Hospital Posted on July 28, 2009 by resolutions Funny Jokes MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up. This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care. (Well, my job is done …..Your turn!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2010 Report Share Posted December 10, 2010 Behaviorist Solution Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different. A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful. " Doc! " Joe says, " It's amazing! I'm cured! " " That's great news! " the psychoanalyst says. " you seem to be doing much better. How? " " I went to see another doctor, " Joe says enthusiastically, " and he cured me in just ONE session! " " One?! " the psychoanalyst asks incredulously. " Yeah, " continues Joe, " my new doctor is a behaviorist. " " A behaviorist? " the psychoanalyst asks. " How did he cure you in one session? " " Oh, easy, " says Joe. " He told me to cut the legs off of my bed. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2010 Report Share Posted December 10, 2010 Behaviorist Solution Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different. A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful. " Doc! " Joe says, " It's amazing! I'm cured! " " That's great news! " the psychoanalyst says. " you seem to be doing much better. How? " " I went to see another doctor, " Joe says enthusiastically, " and he cured me in just ONE session! " " One?! " the psychoanalyst asks incredulously. " Yeah, " continues Joe, " my new doctor is a behaviorist. " " A behaviorist? " the psychoanalyst asks. " How did he cure you in one session? " " Oh, easy, " says Joe. " He told me to cut the legs off of my bed. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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