Re: BPD and Inappropriate reactions

[Guest guest]

When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a professional figure

skater) and was in severe pain which I still feel to this day (I'm 47). Many

times in my life, my mom would over-react to absolutely nothing and take me to

the hospital.

But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I should be under

a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on the flat floor and pulled

myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2 weeks, til I realized I should get

x-rayed.

Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the appropriate way to a

real injury and over-react to a non-existent issue...

amy

i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

Re: Are nada's conscious of their actions??

That's true: a relatively mentally healthy person has the self-awareness and

ability to perceive that sudden mood swings and irritability *aren't normal* and

are coming from some condition like pms or menopause.

When I was about 25, after a few months I (apparently) developed an allergy to a

diet smoothie I'd started using. The allergic reaction took the form of

swelling up (water retention), so much so that I could barely bend my fingers

and my throat started closing up, but the very first symptom, as it turned out,

was overwhelming sadness *for no reason*. I called my best friend and said,

while crying, " This is so weird! I have nothing at all to be upset about, but I

can't stop crying! I don't know what's wrong with me! " Then when my hands and

throat (really, all of me) started swelling up, I took myself to the emergency

room and they treated me with antihistamines and diuretics; when I started

losing the excess water, my inexplicable sadness went away too.

So, just having too much water retention that *presses on the brain* can cause

uncharacteristic, bizarre mood swings!!

Makes me wonder again: is it possible that bpd brains are being affected by too

much water retention that causes fear, anxiety, apprehension, sadness or

irritability (I notice that all the moods listed as symptoms of moderate or

severe allergic reaction are *negative*)??

Studies!! We need studies on these theories!! Even ruling out what *isn't*

related to or causing personality disorder is useful!!

-Annie

> I can't speak to your question about hormones, although if the medical

community paid the attention to this disease that it needs to, it should be easy

enough to conduct some kind of study. I know that even in my worst bouts of PMS,

I have never rivaled one of Mom's rages! And I'm AWARE that I'm being

irrational. I tell my husband, " I'll be fine tomorrow; just ignore me today! "

[Guest guest]

When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a professional figure

skater) and was in severe pain which I still feel to this day (I'm 47). Many

times in my life, my mom would over-react to absolutely nothing and take me to

the hospital.

But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I should be under

a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on the flat floor and pulled

myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2 weeks, til I realized I should get

x-rayed.

Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the appropriate way to a

real injury and over-react to a non-existent issue...

amy

i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

Re: Are nada's conscious of their actions??

That's true: a relatively mentally healthy person has the self-awareness and

ability to perceive that sudden mood swings and irritability *aren't normal* and

are coming from some condition like pms or menopause.

When I was about 25, after a few months I (apparently) developed an allergy to a

diet smoothie I'd started using. The allergic reaction took the form of

swelling up (water retention), so much so that I could barely bend my fingers

and my throat started closing up, but the very first symptom, as it turned out,

was overwhelming sadness *for no reason*. I called my best friend and said,

while crying, " This is so weird! I have nothing at all to be upset about, but I

can't stop crying! I don't know what's wrong with me! " Then when my hands and

throat (really, all of me) started swelling up, I took myself to the emergency

room and they treated me with antihistamines and diuretics; when I started

losing the excess water, my inexplicable sadness went away too.

So, just having too much water retention that *presses on the brain* can cause

uncharacteristic, bizarre mood swings!!

Makes me wonder again: is it possible that bpd brains are being affected by too

much water retention that causes fear, anxiety, apprehension, sadness or

irritability (I notice that all the moods listed as symptoms of moderate or

severe allergic reaction are *negative*)??

Studies!! We need studies on these theories!! Even ruling out what *isn't*

related to or causing personality disorder is useful!!

-Annie

> I can't speak to your question about hormones, although if the medical

community paid the attention to this disease that it needs to, it should be easy

enough to conduct some kind of study. I know that even in my worst bouts of PMS,

I have never rivaled one of Mom's rages! And I'm AWARE that I'm being

irrational. I tell my husband, " I'll be fine tomorrow; just ignore me today! "

[Guest guest]

Hi Amy,

You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very subject.

It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to very minor,

even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely non-reactive to real,

serious emergencies!

The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies short-circuit

the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying reality; so its a form of

dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening, so I don't have to deal with it. "

But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when my dad

became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently and calmly: taking

him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that dad was terminal, making

arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't needed, after all), informing our

relatives, calling and making arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was operating

just fine.

In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted that way,

although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she wasn't showing any grief

at all. None. I asked her about a year later if she had ever finally cried

that dad had died, and she said " No. "

The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no memories of the

entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization, death and burial. She

understands intellectually that all that happened and that she handled all the

details, but her memories of it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

-Annie

>

> When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a professional figure

skater) and was in severe pain which I still feel to this day (I'm 47). Many

times in my life, my mom would over-react to absolutely nothing and take me to

the hospital.

> But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I should be

under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on the flat floor and

pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2 weeks, til I realized I should

get x-rayed.

>

>

> Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the appropriate way to

a real injury and over-react to a non-existent issue...

>

>

> amy

>

>

> i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

>

[Guest guest]

Annie,to be honest I almost hesitate to " go there " with this,and since I neither

know your nada nor am a professional clinician,I'm not saying that this is

definitely what was going on when your father died,but...more just something to

consider...

I recall you mentioning how your nada behaved when your father died in a

previous post some time back and I thought it was odd (it also reminded me

somewhat of my nada's bizarrely emotionless reaction when *her* mother

died)--since I've been reading the comments and " articles " on the " psychopath

blog " ,I've learned that:

--psychopaths don't mourn the death(s) of even their closest family members

and they don't understand why other people do.To them,once a person (any person

they were close to) is dead,they are no longer of any use to them and therefore

whatever connection they had to that person is as gone as they are dead.Shedding

tears over the " loss " of someone you could still possibly control,yes.Shedding

tears over the loss of someone who is simply dead,to them,is pointless because

there is no way to control the dead--and since all of their " emotions " link to

having power and control,there is simply no emotion to be felt when somebody has

died and has passed beyond any possibility of providing a power and control

high.The dead person is literally a moot point to them.

--psychopaths are able to completely erase memories that are unpalatable to

them as if they never happened.They are equally capable of completely erasing

memories that serve no use to them--for example,what is the point in recalling

something you did that didn't personally benefit *you*,the psychopath? As far as

they're concerned,there is none: those kinds of memories just unnecessarily take

up space in their heads; those kinds of memories are totally useless to them so

they disregard them to the point of oblivion,as if they never happened.It's less

a way of dissociating themselves from the memories than of having utter

disregard for something that serves no use to *them*.The psychopaths on the blog

have written about manipulating their own memories so that even their own

memories serve their needs,such as playing up their " triumphs " and thrills in

their own minds as easy access to pleasure for them or completely obliterating

the recall of any onerous or boring (read: unrelated directly to their own

needs) task they had to perform.Why bother to remember if it didn't serve *me*?

is their credo.

I hope I haven't crossed the line here and I hope this share isn't too

disturbing to you.I'm not suggesting that your nada *is* a psychopath but

possibly she has some of these traits.If I have crossed a line here,please tell

me and I will not go there again in my posts to you.

>

> Hi Amy,

>

> You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very subject.

>

> It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to very minor,

even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely non-reactive to real,

serious emergencies!

>

> The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies short-circuit

the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying reality; so its a form of

dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening, so I don't have to deal with it. "

>

> But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

>

> My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when my dad

became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently and calmly: taking

him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that dad was terminal, making

arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't needed, after all), informing our

relatives, calling and making arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

>

> Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was operating

just fine.

>

> In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted that way,

although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she wasn't showing any grief

at all. None. I asked her about a year later if she had ever finally cried

that dad had died, and she said " No. "

>

> The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no memories of the

entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization, death and burial. She

understands intellectually that all that happened and that she handled all the

details, but her memories of it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

>

> -Annie

[Guest guest]

Annie,to be honest I almost hesitate to " go there " with this,and since I neither

know your nada nor am a professional clinician,I'm not saying that this is

definitely what was going on when your father died,but...more just something to

consider...

I recall you mentioning how your nada behaved when your father died in a

previous post some time back and I thought it was odd (it also reminded me

somewhat of my nada's bizarrely emotionless reaction when *her* mother

died)--since I've been reading the comments and " articles " on the " psychopath

blog " ,I've learned that:

--psychopaths don't mourn the death(s) of even their closest family members

and they don't understand why other people do.To them,once a person (any person

they were close to) is dead,they are no longer of any use to them and therefore

whatever connection they had to that person is as gone as they are dead.Shedding

tears over the " loss " of someone you could still possibly control,yes.Shedding

tears over the loss of someone who is simply dead,to them,is pointless because

there is no way to control the dead--and since all of their " emotions " link to

having power and control,there is simply no emotion to be felt when somebody has

died and has passed beyond any possibility of providing a power and control

high.The dead person is literally a moot point to them.

--psychopaths are able to completely erase memories that are unpalatable to

them as if they never happened.They are equally capable of completely erasing

memories that serve no use to them--for example,what is the point in recalling

something you did that didn't personally benefit *you*,the psychopath? As far as

they're concerned,there is none: those kinds of memories just unnecessarily take

up space in their heads; those kinds of memories are totally useless to them so

they disregard them to the point of oblivion,as if they never happened.It's less

a way of dissociating themselves from the memories than of having utter

disregard for something that serves no use to *them*.The psychopaths on the blog

have written about manipulating their own memories so that even their own

memories serve their needs,such as playing up their " triumphs " and thrills in

their own minds as easy access to pleasure for them or completely obliterating

the recall of any onerous or boring (read: unrelated directly to their own

needs) task they had to perform.Why bother to remember if it didn't serve *me*?

is their credo.

I hope I haven't crossed the line here and I hope this share isn't too

disturbing to you.I'm not suggesting that your nada *is* a psychopath but

possibly she has some of these traits.If I have crossed a line here,please tell

me and I will not go there again in my posts to you.

>

> Hi Amy,

>

> You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very subject.

>

> It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to very minor,

even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely non-reactive to real,

serious emergencies!

>

> The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies short-circuit

the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying reality; so its a form of

dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening, so I don't have to deal with it. "

>

> But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

>

> My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when my dad

became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently and calmly: taking

him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that dad was terminal, making

arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't needed, after all), informing our

relatives, calling and making arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

>

> Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was operating

just fine.

>

> In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted that way,

although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she wasn't showing any grief

at all. None. I asked her about a year later if she had ever finally cried

that dad had died, and she said " No. "

>

> The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no memories of the

entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization, death and burial. She

understands intellectually that all that happened and that she handled all the

details, but her memories of it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

>

> -Annie

[Guest guest]

Annie,to be honest I almost hesitate to " go there " with this,and since I neither

know your nada nor am a professional clinician,I'm not saying that this is

definitely what was going on when your father died,but...more just something to

consider...

I recall you mentioning how your nada behaved when your father died in a

previous post some time back and I thought it was odd (it also reminded me

somewhat of my nada's bizarrely emotionless reaction when *her* mother

died)--since I've been reading the comments and " articles " on the " psychopath

blog " ,I've learned that:

--psychopaths don't mourn the death(s) of even their closest family members

and they don't understand why other people do.To them,once a person (any person

they were close to) is dead,they are no longer of any use to them and therefore

whatever connection they had to that person is as gone as they are dead.Shedding

tears over the " loss " of someone you could still possibly control,yes.Shedding

tears over the loss of someone who is simply dead,to them,is pointless because

there is no way to control the dead--and since all of their " emotions " link to

having power and control,there is simply no emotion to be felt when somebody has

died and has passed beyond any possibility of providing a power and control

high.The dead person is literally a moot point to them.

--psychopaths are able to completely erase memories that are unpalatable to

them as if they never happened.They are equally capable of completely erasing

memories that serve no use to them--for example,what is the point in recalling

something you did that didn't personally benefit *you*,the psychopath? As far as

they're concerned,there is none: those kinds of memories just unnecessarily take

up space in their heads; those kinds of memories are totally useless to them so

they disregard them to the point of oblivion,as if they never happened.It's less

a way of dissociating themselves from the memories than of having utter

disregard for something that serves no use to *them*.The psychopaths on the blog

have written about manipulating their own memories so that even their own

memories serve their needs,such as playing up their " triumphs " and thrills in

their own minds as easy access to pleasure for them or completely obliterating

the recall of any onerous or boring (read: unrelated directly to their own

needs) task they had to perform.Why bother to remember if it didn't serve *me*?

is their credo.

I hope I haven't crossed the line here and I hope this share isn't too

disturbing to you.I'm not suggesting that your nada *is* a psychopath but

possibly she has some of these traits.If I have crossed a line here,please tell

me and I will not go there again in my posts to you.

>

> Hi Amy,

>

> You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very subject.

>

> It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to very minor,

even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely non-reactive to real,

serious emergencies!

>

> The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies short-circuit

the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying reality; so its a form of

dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening, so I don't have to deal with it. "

>

> But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

>

> My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when my dad

became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently and calmly: taking

him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that dad was terminal, making

arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't needed, after all), informing our

relatives, calling and making arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

>

> Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was operating

just fine.

>

> In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted that way,

although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she wasn't showing any grief

at all. None. I asked her about a year later if she had ever finally cried

that dad had died, and she said " No. "

>

> The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no memories of the

entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization, death and burial. She

understands intellectually that all that happened and that she handled all the

details, but her memories of it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

>

> -Annie

[Guest guest]

((())) No, you haven't crossed any lines with me, and I thank you for

posting your opinion/speculation. I hadn't been aware of those particular

psychopathic traits before but it makes sense to me: that once someone is dead

they are of no further use to the psychopath, so they show little emotion about

it. I've speculated before that my nada has shown some antisocial (or

psychopathic) traits, so, I'm open to the idea; very much so. I've even

referred to my nada as a " walking Cluster B " before, to get the point across.

A part of this particular story that I didn't include in my last post, is that a

full two years (or more) after dad's death, my nada had to have her pet cat put

to sleep because it was very old and in pain, and she told me that she'd had a

complete breakdown/hysterical crying jag over the cat's death (!!?) It made me

wonder if perhaps she'd repressed her grief over losing dad so thoroughly that

she was only able to access her grief two+ years later, and indirectly,

triggered by the death of a pet?

But on the other hand I've never once in the 12+ years following dad's death

personally observed her becoming sad or misty-eyed over dad's being gone. She

never fondly mentions him, that something or other reminds her of him, or that

she misses him; nothing like that... and I have thought that was both cold and

odd. She will grow misty-eyed and quavery-voiced when mentioning her own

father, however.

I can only guess that nada ceased loving my dad at some point, and doesn't miss

him or think about him fondly at all.

But whether any of my speculations RE nada and dad's relationship are accurate

or not, I've also wondered if my mothers need to " get back " at me for perceived

slights, her apparent enjoyment when she'd put me down or humiliate me and make

me cry, and her ability to patiently wait for precisely the most opportune

moment to do so, is due to psychopathic traits as opposed to " just " her bpd. I

really do wonder about that.

It seems likely.

-Annie

> >

> > Hi Amy,

> >

> > You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very subject.

> >

> > It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to very

minor, even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely non-reactive to

real, serious emergencies!

> >

> > The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies

short-circuit the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying reality; so its a

form of dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening, so I don't have to deal with

it. "

> >

> > But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

> >

> > My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when my dad

became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently and calmly: taking

him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that dad was terminal, making

arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't needed, after all), informing our

relatives, calling and making arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

> >

> > Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was

operating just fine.

> >

> > In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted that way,

although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she wasn't showing any grief

at all. None. I asked her about a year later if she had ever finally cried

that dad had died, and she said " No. "

> >

> > The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no memories of

the entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization, death and burial. She

understands intellectually that all that happened and that she handled all the

details, but her memories of it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

> >

> > -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

((())) No, you haven't crossed any lines with me, and I thank you for

posting your opinion/speculation. I hadn't been aware of those particular

psychopathic traits before but it makes sense to me: that once someone is dead

they are of no further use to the psychopath, so they show little emotion about

it. I've speculated before that my nada has shown some antisocial (or

psychopathic) traits, so, I'm open to the idea; very much so. I've even

referred to my nada as a " walking Cluster B " before, to get the point across.

A part of this particular story that I didn't include in my last post, is that a

full two years (or more) after dad's death, my nada had to have her pet cat put

to sleep because it was very old and in pain, and she told me that she'd had a

complete breakdown/hysterical crying jag over the cat's death (!!?) It made me

wonder if perhaps she'd repressed her grief over losing dad so thoroughly that

she was only able to access her grief two+ years later, and indirectly,

triggered by the death of a pet?

But on the other hand I've never once in the 12+ years following dad's death

personally observed her becoming sad or misty-eyed over dad's being gone. She

never fondly mentions him, that something or other reminds her of him, or that

she misses him; nothing like that... and I have thought that was both cold and

odd. She will grow misty-eyed and quavery-voiced when mentioning her own

father, however.

I can only guess that nada ceased loving my dad at some point, and doesn't miss

him or think about him fondly at all.

But whether any of my speculations RE nada and dad's relationship are accurate

or not, I've also wondered if my mothers need to " get back " at me for perceived

slights, her apparent enjoyment when she'd put me down or humiliate me and make

me cry, and her ability to patiently wait for precisely the most opportune

moment to do so, is due to psychopathic traits as opposed to " just " her bpd. I

really do wonder about that.

It seems likely.

-Annie

> >

> > Hi Amy,

> >

> > You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very subject.

> >

> > It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to very

minor, even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely non-reactive to

real, serious emergencies!

> >

> > The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies

short-circuit the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying reality; so its a

form of dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening, so I don't have to deal with

it. "

> >

> > But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

> >

> > My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when my dad

became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently and calmly: taking

him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that dad was terminal, making

arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't needed, after all), informing our

relatives, calling and making arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

> >

> > Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was

operating just fine.

> >

> > In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted that way,

although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she wasn't showing any grief

at all. None. I asked her about a year later if she had ever finally cried

that dad had died, and she said " No. "

> >

> > The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no memories of

the entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization, death and burial. She

understands intellectually that all that happened and that she handled all the

details, but her memories of it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

> >

> > -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

((())) No, you haven't crossed any lines with me, and I thank you for

posting your opinion/speculation. I hadn't been aware of those particular

psychopathic traits before but it makes sense to me: that once someone is dead

they are of no further use to the psychopath, so they show little emotion about

it. I've speculated before that my nada has shown some antisocial (or

psychopathic) traits, so, I'm open to the idea; very much so. I've even

referred to my nada as a " walking Cluster B " before, to get the point across.

A part of this particular story that I didn't include in my last post, is that a

full two years (or more) after dad's death, my nada had to have her pet cat put

to sleep because it was very old and in pain, and she told me that she'd had a

complete breakdown/hysterical crying jag over the cat's death (!!?) It made me

wonder if perhaps she'd repressed her grief over losing dad so thoroughly that

she was only able to access her grief two+ years later, and indirectly,

triggered by the death of a pet?

But on the other hand I've never once in the 12+ years following dad's death

personally observed her becoming sad or misty-eyed over dad's being gone. She

never fondly mentions him, that something or other reminds her of him, or that

she misses him; nothing like that... and I have thought that was both cold and

odd. She will grow misty-eyed and quavery-voiced when mentioning her own

father, however.

I can only guess that nada ceased loving my dad at some point, and doesn't miss

him or think about him fondly at all.

But whether any of my speculations RE nada and dad's relationship are accurate

or not, I've also wondered if my mothers need to " get back " at me for perceived

slights, her apparent enjoyment when she'd put me down or humiliate me and make

me cry, and her ability to patiently wait for precisely the most opportune

moment to do so, is due to psychopathic traits as opposed to " just " her bpd. I

really do wonder about that.

It seems likely.

-Annie

> >

> > Hi Amy,

> >

> > You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very subject.

> >

> > It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to very

minor, even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely non-reactive to

real, serious emergencies!

> >

> > The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies

short-circuit the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying reality; so its a

form of dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening, so I don't have to deal with

it. "

> >

> > But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

> >

> > My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when my dad

became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently and calmly: taking

him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that dad was terminal, making

arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't needed, after all), informing our

relatives, calling and making arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

> >

> > Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was

operating just fine.

> >

> > In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted that way,

although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she wasn't showing any grief

at all. None. I asked her about a year later if she had ever finally cried

that dad had died, and she said " No. "

> >

> > The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no memories of

the entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization, death and burial. She

understands intellectually that all that happened and that she handled all the

details, but her memories of it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

> >

> > -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Would you mind telling me where I can find this blog, Id be very interested to

read it, as I think my mother fits some psychopathic traits really well.

>

> Annie,to be honest I almost hesitate to " go there " with this,and since I

neither know your nada nor am a professional clinician,I'm not saying that this

is definitely what was going on when your father died,but...more just something

to consider...

>

> I recall you mentioning how your nada behaved when your father died in a

previous post some time back and I thought it was odd (it also reminded me

somewhat of my nada's bizarrely emotionless reaction when *her* mother

died)--since I've been reading the comments and " articles " on the " psychopath

blog " ,I've learned that:

>

> --psychopaths don't mourn the death(s) of even their closest family

members and they don't understand why other people do.To them,once a person (any

person they were close to) is dead,they are no longer of any use to them and

therefore whatever connection they had to that person is as gone as they are

dead.Shedding tears over the " loss " of someone you could still possibly

control,yes.Shedding tears over the loss of someone who is simply dead,to

them,is pointless because there is no way to control the dead--and since all of

their " emotions " link to having power and control,there is simply no emotion to

be felt when somebody has died and has passed beyond any possibility of

providing a power and control high.The dead person is literally a moot point to

them.

>

> --psychopaths are able to completely erase memories that are unpalatable

to them as if they never happened.They are equally capable of completely erasing

memories that serve no use to them--for example,what is the point in recalling

something you did that didn't personally benefit *you*,the psychopath? As far as

they're concerned,there is none: those kinds of memories just unnecessarily take

up space in their heads; those kinds of memories are totally useless to them so

they disregard them to the point of oblivion,as if they never happened.It's less

a way of dissociating themselves from the memories than of having utter

disregard for something that serves no use to *them*.The psychopaths on the blog

have written about manipulating their own memories so that even their own

memories serve their needs,such as playing up their " triumphs " and thrills in

their own minds as easy access to pleasure for them or completely obliterating

the recall of any onerous or boring (read: unrelated directly to their own

needs) task they had to perform.Why bother to remember if it didn't serve *me*?

is their credo.

>

> I hope I haven't crossed the line here and I hope this share isn't too

disturbing to you.I'm not suggesting that your nada *is* a psychopath but

possibly she has some of these traits.If I have crossed a line here,please tell

me and I will not go there again in my posts to you.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Would you mind telling me where I can find this blog, Id be very interested to

read it, as I think my mother fits some psychopathic traits really well.

>

> Annie,to be honest I almost hesitate to " go there " with this,and since I

neither know your nada nor am a professional clinician,I'm not saying that this

is definitely what was going on when your father died,but...more just something

to consider...

>

> I recall you mentioning how your nada behaved when your father died in a

previous post some time back and I thought it was odd (it also reminded me

somewhat of my nada's bizarrely emotionless reaction when *her* mother

died)--since I've been reading the comments and " articles " on the " psychopath

blog " ,I've learned that:

>

> --psychopaths don't mourn the death(s) of even their closest family

members and they don't understand why other people do.To them,once a person (any

person they were close to) is dead,they are no longer of any use to them and

therefore whatever connection they had to that person is as gone as they are

dead.Shedding tears over the " loss " of someone you could still possibly

control,yes.Shedding tears over the loss of someone who is simply dead,to

them,is pointless because there is no way to control the dead--and since all of

their " emotions " link to having power and control,there is simply no emotion to

be felt when somebody has died and has passed beyond any possibility of

providing a power and control high.The dead person is literally a moot point to

them.

>

> --psychopaths are able to completely erase memories that are unpalatable

to them as if they never happened.They are equally capable of completely erasing

memories that serve no use to them--for example,what is the point in recalling

something you did that didn't personally benefit *you*,the psychopath? As far as

they're concerned,there is none: those kinds of memories just unnecessarily take

up space in their heads; those kinds of memories are totally useless to them so

they disregard them to the point of oblivion,as if they never happened.It's less

a way of dissociating themselves from the memories than of having utter

disregard for something that serves no use to *them*.The psychopaths on the blog

have written about manipulating their own memories so that even their own

memories serve their needs,such as playing up their " triumphs " and thrills in

their own minds as easy access to pleasure for them or completely obliterating

the recall of any onerous or boring (read: unrelated directly to their own

needs) task they had to perform.Why bother to remember if it didn't serve *me*?

is their credo.

>

> I hope I haven't crossed the line here and I hope this share isn't too

disturbing to you.I'm not suggesting that your nada *is* a psychopath but

possibly she has some of these traits.If I have crossed a line here,please tell

me and I will not go there again in my posts to you.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Would you mind telling me where I can find this blog, Id be very interested to

read it, as I think my mother fits some psychopathic traits really well.

>

> Annie,to be honest I almost hesitate to " go there " with this,and since I

neither know your nada nor am a professional clinician,I'm not saying that this

is definitely what was going on when your father died,but...more just something

to consider...

>

> I recall you mentioning how your nada behaved when your father died in a

previous post some time back and I thought it was odd (it also reminded me

somewhat of my nada's bizarrely emotionless reaction when *her* mother

died)--since I've been reading the comments and " articles " on the " psychopath

blog " ,I've learned that:

>

> --psychopaths don't mourn the death(s) of even their closest family

members and they don't understand why other people do.To them,once a person (any

person they were close to) is dead,they are no longer of any use to them and

therefore whatever connection they had to that person is as gone as they are

dead.Shedding tears over the " loss " of someone you could still possibly

control,yes.Shedding tears over the loss of someone who is simply dead,to

them,is pointless because there is no way to control the dead--and since all of

their " emotions " link to having power and control,there is simply no emotion to

be felt when somebody has died and has passed beyond any possibility of

providing a power and control high.The dead person is literally a moot point to

them.

>

> --psychopaths are able to completely erase memories that are unpalatable

to them as if they never happened.They are equally capable of completely erasing

memories that serve no use to them--for example,what is the point in recalling

something you did that didn't personally benefit *you*,the psychopath? As far as

they're concerned,there is none: those kinds of memories just unnecessarily take

up space in their heads; those kinds of memories are totally useless to them so

they disregard them to the point of oblivion,as if they never happened.It's less

a way of dissociating themselves from the memories than of having utter

disregard for something that serves no use to *them*.The psychopaths on the blog

have written about manipulating their own memories so that even their own

memories serve their needs,such as playing up their " triumphs " and thrills in

their own minds as easy access to pleasure for them or completely obliterating

the recall of any onerous or boring (read: unrelated directly to their own

needs) task they had to perform.Why bother to remember if it didn't serve *me*?

is their credo.

>

> I hope I haven't crossed the line here and I hope this share isn't too

disturbing to you.I'm not suggesting that your nada *is* a psychopath but

possibly she has some of these traits.If I have crossed a line here,please tell

me and I will not go there again in my posts to you.

>

>

[Guest guest]

My mother would spend hundreds on danoz tv advertised rubbish that she never

used - but if we needed to go to a doctor we got screamed at for hours about how

selfish we were to be wasting huge amounts of money that she didnt have and that

we were sending our father broke (doctors cost nothing here, by the way!!)

>

> When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a professional figure

skater) and was in severe pain which I still feel to this day (I'm 47). Many

times in my life, my mom would over-react to absolutely nothing and take me to

the hospital.

> But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I should be

under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on the flat floor and

pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2 weeks, til I realized I should

get x-rayed.

>

>

> Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the appropriate way to

a real injury and over-react to a non-existent issue...

>

>

> amy

>

>

> i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

[Guest guest]

My mother would spend hundreds on danoz tv advertised rubbish that she never

used - but if we needed to go to a doctor we got screamed at for hours about how

selfish we were to be wasting huge amounts of money that she didnt have and that

we were sending our father broke (doctors cost nothing here, by the way!!)

>

> When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a professional figure

skater) and was in severe pain which I still feel to this day (I'm 47). Many

times in my life, my mom would over-react to absolutely nothing and take me to

the hospital.

> But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I should be

under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on the flat floor and

pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2 weeks, til I realized I should

get x-rayed.

>

>

> Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the appropriate way to

a real injury and over-react to a non-existent issue...

>

>

> amy

>

>

> i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

[Guest guest]

My mother would spend hundreds on danoz tv advertised rubbish that she never

used - but if we needed to go to a doctor we got screamed at for hours about how

selfish we were to be wasting huge amounts of money that she didnt have and that

we were sending our father broke (doctors cost nothing here, by the way!!)

>

> When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a professional figure

skater) and was in severe pain which I still feel to this day (I'm 47). Many

times in my life, my mom would over-react to absolutely nothing and take me to

the hospital.

> But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I should be

under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on the flat floor and

pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2 weeks, til I realized I should

get x-rayed.

>

>

> Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the appropriate way to

a real injury and over-react to a non-existent issue...

>

>

> amy

>

>

> i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

[Guest guest]

Here is the link to the blog for sociopaths that found:

http://www.sociopathworld.com/2009/06/guilt.html

-Annie

>

> Would you mind telling me where I can find this blog, Id be very interested to

read it, as I think my mother fits some psychopathic traits really well.

[Guest guest]

Here is the link to the blog for sociopaths that found:

http://www.sociopathworld.com/2009/06/guilt.html

-Annie

>

> Would you mind telling me where I can find this blog, Id be very interested to

read it, as I think my mother fits some psychopathic traits really well.

[Guest guest]

Here is the link to the blog for sociopaths that found:

http://www.sociopathworld.com/2009/06/guilt.html

-Annie

>

> Would you mind telling me where I can find this blog, Id be very interested to

read it, as I think my mother fits some psychopathic traits really well.

[Guest guest]

BTW,,,I crushed 4 disks in my lower back in that skating accident...that was my

real injury in which I didn't go to the hospital.

Re: BPD and Inappropriate reactions

My mother would spend hundreds on danoz tv advertised rubbish that she never

used - but if we needed to go to a doctor we got screamed at for hours about how

selfish we were to be wasting huge amounts of money that she didnt have and that

we were sending our father broke (doctors cost nothing here, by the way!!)

>

> When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a professional figure

skater) and was in severe pain which I still feel to this day (I'm 47). Many

times in my life, my mom would over-react to absolutely nothing and take me to

the hospital.

> But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I should be

under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on the flat floor and

pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2 weeks, til I realized I should

get x-rayed.

>

>

> Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the appropriate way to

a real injury and over-react to a non-existent issue...

>

>

> amy

>

>

> i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

[Guest guest]

BTW,,,I crushed 4 disks in my lower back in that skating accident...that was my

real injury in which I didn't go to the hospital.

Re: BPD and Inappropriate reactions

My mother would spend hundreds on danoz tv advertised rubbish that she never

used - but if we needed to go to a doctor we got screamed at for hours about how

selfish we were to be wasting huge amounts of money that she didnt have and that

we were sending our father broke (doctors cost nothing here, by the way!!)

>

> When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a professional figure

skater) and was in severe pain which I still feel to this day (I'm 47). Many

times in my life, my mom would over-react to absolutely nothing and take me to

the hospital.

> But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I should be

under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on the flat floor and

pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2 weeks, til I realized I should

get x-rayed.

>

>

> Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the appropriate way to

a real injury and over-react to a non-existent issue...

>

>

> amy

>

>

> i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

[Guest guest]

BTW,,,I crushed 4 disks in my lower back in that skating accident...that was my

real injury in which I didn't go to the hospital.

Re: BPD and Inappropriate reactions

My mother would spend hundreds on danoz tv advertised rubbish that she never

used - but if we needed to go to a doctor we got screamed at for hours about how

selfish we were to be wasting huge amounts of money that she didnt have and that

we were sending our father broke (doctors cost nothing here, by the way!!)

>

> When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a professional figure

skater) and was in severe pain which I still feel to this day (I'm 47). Many

times in my life, my mom would over-react to absolutely nothing and take me to

the hospital.

> But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I should be

under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on the flat floor and

pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2 weeks, til I realized I should

get x-rayed.

>

>

> Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the appropriate way to

a real injury and over-react to a non-existent issue...

>

>

> amy

>

>

> i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

[Guest guest]

Oh yes this is definitely a common among BPDs! My fada

Kicked me out of the house on Easter one year because i had a peanut

butter sandwhich!! But when I was younger I had a party while they

were away. He told me If I paid their utility bill I could have it and

he wouldn't tell mom. I thought it was cool at the time but what kind

of father would do that?? A BPD one!! So I think it's very common for

BPDs to overreact on little things but have no problem with the bigger

stuff. It's very weird!!!

Sent from my iPhone

On Nov 18, 2010, at 3:10 PM, " anuria67854 "

wrote:

> Hi Amy,

>

> You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very

> subject.

>

> It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to

> very minor, even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely

> non-reactive to real, serious emergencies!

>

> The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies

> short-circuit the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying

> reality; so its a form of dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening,

> so I don't have to deal with it. "

>

> But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

>

> My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when

> my dad became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently

> and calmly: taking him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that

> dad was terminal, making arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't

> needed, after all), informing our relatives, calling and making

> arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

>

> Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was

> operating just fine.

>

> In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted

> that way, although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she

> wasn't showing any grief at all. None. I asked her about a year

> later if she had ever finally cried that dad had died, and she said

> " No. "

>

> The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no

> memories of the entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization,

> death and burial. She understands intellectually that all that

> happened and that she handled all the details, but her memories of

> it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a

> professional figure skater) and was in severe pain which I still

> feel to this day (I'm 47). Many times in my life, my mom would over-

> react to absolutely nothing and take me to the hospital.

> > But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I

> should be under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on

> the flat floor and pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2

> weeks, til I realized I should get x-rayed.

> >

> >

> > Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the

> appropriate way to a real injury and over-react to a non-existent

> issue...

> >

> >

> > amy

> >

> >

> > i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yes this is definitely a common among BPDs! My fada

Kicked me out of the house on Easter one year because i had a peanut

butter sandwhich!! But when I was younger I had a party while they

were away. He told me If I paid their utility bill I could have it and

he wouldn't tell mom. I thought it was cool at the time but what kind

of father would do that?? A BPD one!! So I think it's very common for

BPDs to overreact on little things but have no problem with the bigger

stuff. It's very weird!!!

Sent from my iPhone

On Nov 18, 2010, at 3:10 PM, " anuria67854 "

wrote:

> Hi Amy,

>

> You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very

> subject.

>

> It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to

> very minor, even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely

> non-reactive to real, serious emergencies!

>

> The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies

> short-circuit the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying

> reality; so its a form of dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening,

> so I don't have to deal with it. "

>

> But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

>

> My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when

> my dad became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently

> and calmly: taking him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that

> dad was terminal, making arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't

> needed, after all), informing our relatives, calling and making

> arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

>

> Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was

> operating just fine.

>

> In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted

> that way, although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she

> wasn't showing any grief at all. None. I asked her about a year

> later if she had ever finally cried that dad had died, and she said

> " No. "

>

> The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no

> memories of the entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization,

> death and burial. She understands intellectually that all that

> happened and that she handled all the details, but her memories of

> it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a

> professional figure skater) and was in severe pain which I still

> feel to this day (I'm 47). Many times in my life, my mom would over-

> react to absolutely nothing and take me to the hospital.

> > But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I

> should be under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on

> the flat floor and pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2

> weeks, til I realized I should get x-rayed.

> >

> >

> > Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the

> appropriate way to a real injury and over-react to a non-existent

> issue...

> >

> >

> > amy

> >

> >

> > i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yes this is definitely a common among BPDs! My fada

Kicked me out of the house on Easter one year because i had a peanut

butter sandwhich!! But when I was younger I had a party while they

were away. He told me If I paid their utility bill I could have it and

he wouldn't tell mom. I thought it was cool at the time but what kind

of father would do that?? A BPD one!! So I think it's very common for

BPDs to overreact on little things but have no problem with the bigger

stuff. It's very weird!!!

Sent from my iPhone

On Nov 18, 2010, at 3:10 PM, " anuria67854 "

wrote:

> Hi Amy,

>

> You're right: there have been earlier threads here about that very

> subject.

>

> It is SO bizarre, to me: this bpd thing of being over-reactive to

> very minor, even trival incidents and under-reactive or completely

> non-reactive to real, serious emergencies!

>

> The only explanation I can come up with is that real emergencies

> short-circuit the bpd brain and they just shut down, denying

> reality; so its a form of dissociation, i.e.: " This isn't happening,

> so I don't have to deal with it. "

>

> But here is a bizarre variation, possibly a partial dissociation(?):

>

> My bpd/npd nada turned into a zombie-like or robot-like machine when

> my dad became terminal and she handled everything very efficiently

> and calmly: taking him to the hospital, informing Sister and me that

> dad was terminal, making arrangements for hospice care (that wasn't

> needed, after all), informing our relatives, calling and making

> arrangements for his funeral and burial, etc.

>

> Nada's emotional circuits shut down but her *executive function* was

> operating just fine.

>

> In my grief I was a basket case so I'm actually glad nada reacted

> that way, although I noticed and was puzzled at the time that she

> wasn't showing any grief at all. None. I asked her about a year

> later if she had ever finally cried that dad had died, and she said

> " No. "

>

> The weird thing is that after it was all over, she now has no

> memories of the entire period surrounding dad's hospitalization,

> death and burial. She understands intellectually that all that

> happened and that she handled all the details, but her memories of

> it do not exist. Poof. Gone.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > When I was 18, I fell while jumping on the ice (i was a

> professional figure skater) and was in severe pain which I still

> feel to this day (I'm 47). Many times in my life, my mom would over-

> react to absolutely nothing and take me to the hospital.

> > But, for this real accident, she didn't take me. I didn't know I

> should be under a doctor's care, and I was scared. So, I slept on

> the flat floor and pulled myself to the bathroom in high pain for 2

> weeks, til I realized I should get x-rayed.

> >

> >

> > Many years later, I wondered why my mom didn't react in the

> appropriate way to a real injury and over-react to a non-existent

> issue...

> >

> >

> > amy

> >

> >

> > i'm sure I'm not the only one who has had experience with this

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is just awful that you weren't taken to the hospital right away, and have

paid for the neglect with chronic pain.

-Annie

>

> BTW,,,I crushed 4 disks in my lower back in that skating accident...that was

my real injury in which I didn't go to the hospital.

>

>