Guest guest Posted November 12, 2010 Report Share Posted November 12, 2010 Thanks!!! There were great suggestions on here. I wanted to dress up as the cat and sleep in the tree but time prevented me from being able to find a cat costume(as Halloween had ended). I found a headband with two big red felt hands sticking up. I wore it for 2 days on all my normal errands-grocery store, pet store, mall, when the cable guy arrived, ect. I also asked the professor about reactions he was looking for. I misunderstood the definition of a folkway. I was freaked out because I though I needed to elicit a NEGATIVE reaction. Turns out any reaction is fine. -- " By definition, madness ends in one of two ways: clarity...or death. " -- *Frantic Purification* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2010 Report Share Posted November 12, 2010 Rad!! What did you learn? On Fri, Nov 12, 2010 at 12:26 PM, Simpson wrote: > > > Thanks!!! There were great suggestions on here. I wanted to dress up as > the cat and sleep in the tree but time prevented me from being able to find > a cat costume(as Halloween had ended). I found a headband with two big red > felt hands sticking up. I wore it for 2 days on all my normal > errands-grocery store, pet store, mall, when the cable guy arrived, ect. > > I also asked the professor about reactions he was looking for. I > misunderstood the definition of a folkway. I was freaked out because I > though I needed to elicit a NEGATIVE reaction. Turns out any reaction is > fine. > > > -- > > > " By definition, madness ends in one of two ways: clarity...or death. " > -- *Frantic > Purification* > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2010 Report Share Posted November 12, 2010 I learned that if you want to dress goofy to take your kids with you. LOL. What happened was that when I was with my kids people treated me like a " good mom " . When I was alone people treated me like I was diseased (and contagious). There were other factors too but the end result was that what's " normal " depends greatly on the environment you are in. -- " By definition, madness ends in one of two ways: clarity...or death. " -- *Frantic Purification* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2010 Report Share Posted November 13, 2010 Wow,Kimberley,that's really interesting.Do you mean that when you had your kids with you people automatically assumed that you were wearing the felt hands handband in a spirit of playfulness (somehow for the benefit of your children?) but when you were wearing them on your own,they automatically concluded you were some kind of weirdo to be avoided? If that's the case it's really interesting because I've read story after story on this message board of member's PD mothers using " motherhood " as a front or a facade to pass as " normal " and/or to disguise their true abusiveness ( " playing the mother card " )--and what's more doing so requires very little effort on their part since society pretty much automatically equates " mother " with " good " .Yet when you were out in public wearing the silly handband without the kids,people looked at you askance.Hhhhmmmmmm..... > > I learned that if you want to dress goofy to take your kids with you. LOL. > What happened was that when I was with my kids people treated me like a > " good mom " . When I was alone people treated me like I was diseased (and > contagious). > > There were other factors too but the end result was that what's " normal " > depends greatly on the environment you are in. > > -- > > > " By definition, madness ends in one of two ways: clarity...or death. " > -- *Frantic > Purification* > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2010 Report Share Posted November 13, 2010 I agree, that IS quite fascinating: the same silly hat gets a " good mommy " pass if worn while with one's kids, and a " crazy lady " assessment when worn solo. Human society/culture appears to *automatically* equate " motherhood " with " goodness " . That makes the potential danger to a child born to (or adopted by) a mentally ill, abusive mother even worse if not virtually impossible to overcome. There used to be the same willful blindness and denial RE fathers, uncles, priests, male teachers & coaches, etc. sexually molesting children. It was unthinkable to even suggest that that could be happening. Fascinating experiment, thanks for sharing it with us! -Annie PS: I heard a chilling conversation on the radio this morning, on a " phone in for free legal advice " talk show. A very irate woman was calling because she was convinced that the baby she'd paid a surrogate to birth for her was " defective " due to the birth-mother's not " following her rules " about what to eat and not eat. (The caller nearly screamed, " There's something wrong with this baby, IT wakes up and cries at night off and on, all night!) The caller had taken the infant to several doctors trying to get one to agree with her that something was wrong with " it " , with no results (the baby is normal.) The caller wanted to sue the surrogate. The talk-show lawyer pointed out that " babies cry at night, there's nothing abnormal about that " but the caller was talking over him and didn't react to that statement. I can't help but speculate that that poor little child's life is going to be a living hell, and that the " mother " is severely mentally ill (probably narcissistic), already harbors a negative assessment of this child as " defective " , won't be able to love the child or treat him or her as anything other than an object. Makes me wish I had a magic wand sometimes. -Annie > > > > I learned that if you want to dress goofy to take your kids with you. LOL. > > What happened was that when I was with my kids people treated me like a > > " good mom " . When I was alone people treated me like I was diseased (and > > contagious). > > > > There were other factors too but the end result was that what's " normal " > > depends greatly on the environment you are in. > > > > -- > > > > > > " By definition, madness ends in one of two ways: clarity...or death. " > > -- *Frantic > > Purification* > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2010 Report Share Posted November 13, 2010 Hopefully for that poor child one of the doctors she is harassing will see the problem and get CPS involved. I didn't put that together at first but it does make sense. Nada's big thing with us was her always being terrified for our safety. Fear for safety = not being allowed to do most things = control. However, I bet outsiders looked at that as a caring parent. I developed numerous phobias due to modeling her behavior. Needless to say when I, as an adult, cower in the corner and hyperventilate on an elevator that last thing anyone is thinking is that I am a concerned parent. LOL. -- " By definition, madness ends in one of two ways: clarity...or death. " -- *Frantic Purification* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2010 Report Share Posted November 13, 2010 Yeah,Annie,that woman on the radio call in show is a whackjob for sure.It sounds like she's been stewing up a problem since before that poor baby was even born. Doctors are mandated reporters.I wish one of them would make a call to CPS for this baby--*wanting* something to be wrong with your kid is an enormous red flag.That child is in hell right now--I hope someone intervenes.Sickening. > > I agree, that IS quite fascinating: the same silly hat gets a " good mommy " pass if worn while with one's kids, and a " crazy lady " assessment when worn solo. > > Human society/culture appears to *automatically* equate " motherhood " with " goodness " . That makes the potential danger to a child born to (or adopted by) a mentally ill, abusive mother even worse if not virtually impossible to overcome. > > There used to be the same willful blindness and denial RE fathers, uncles, priests, male teachers & coaches, etc. sexually molesting children. It was unthinkable to even suggest that that could be happening. > > Fascinating experiment, thanks for sharing it with us! > > -Annie > > PS: > I heard a chilling conversation on the radio this morning, on a " phone in for free legal advice " talk show. A very irate woman was calling because she was convinced that the baby she'd paid a surrogate to birth for her was " defective " due to the birth-mother's not " following her rules " about what to eat and not eat. (The caller nearly screamed, " There's something wrong with this baby, IT wakes up and cries at night off and on, all night!) The caller had taken the infant to several doctors trying to get one to agree with her that something was wrong with " it " , with no results (the baby is normal.) The caller wanted to sue the surrogate. > > The talk-show lawyer pointed out that " babies cry at night, there's nothing abnormal about that " but the caller was talking over him and didn't react to that statement. > > I can't help but speculate that that poor little child's life is going to be a living hell, and that the " mother " is severely mentally ill (probably narcissistic), already harbors a negative assessment of this child as " defective " , won't be able to love the child or treat him or her as anything other than an object. Makes me wish I had a magic wand sometimes. > > -Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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