Re: I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Meaghan,

I think you handled this very well! It's great that you are looking out for

your son's health, and I am so sorry that your hubby is using such poor

judgement. Behavior like his is what pushed me into emotional eating when I

was only " chunky " and made me " fat " instead. Showing your son that he can be

healthy but not deprived is great! I wish someone in my family had done the

same for me.

I am really worried about my own son's eating habits... not because he is

chubby (the doctors actually want him to GAIN weight), but because my mother

has gotten him eating so much junk food! He spends several hours at her

house after school each day, until I get off work, plus he stays with her

every other weekend. Her house is a cornucopia of candy, chips, cookies,

cakes, etc! It is so bad, that when I pick him up, I want to RUN out of

there so I won't be tempted. You cannot even SEE the surface of her kitchen

table because it is piled high with junk food. She has good fruits and stuff

in the house too, and always makes him a balanced dinner... but she also

does not prevent him from going for the junk first thing when he walks in

the door. It makes me want to pull out my hair in frustration!

Anyway, keep up the good work! Your love and care will help to teach him

early, so he won't have to suffer like so many of us have.

Jette

I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

> I just have to complain for a minute. I'm sooooooooo mad at my

> hubby. My just 12 year old is staying with my parents right now.

<snip>

> Anyway, his weight is an issue that needs to be dealt with, but I

> believe it's an issue that needs to be treaded on lightly.

<snip>

> My husband on the other hand told him

> how fat he was, told him he had boy boobs and marched him up to the

> scale. I was livid.

<snip>

> He was here today and did my 3 mile

> walking tape with me and ate healthy meals. Then I gave them all a

> small ice cream cone (or so they thought-smile-it was actually my low

> fat frozen yogurt). When I handed it to him he said, " but I thought

> you guys wanted me to loose weight???? " I answered that I do, but

> that together we can help him do that without depriving him of any of

> the things he loves

[Guest guest]

Oh Meaghan,

Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach is

sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your message and can

weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize that Dad

just is worried about him. Good luck!

Sharon

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much Jette for replying, I was and am so upset about

him gaining so much weight, but more so, how Jerry is handling it.

Thanks for the encouragment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you discussed the junk food with your mom or is it a no win

situation there too?? Have you tried telling your son that you would

prefer he not eat the junk food every day??? How old is he???

Meaghan

> Meaghan,

>

> I think you handled this very well! It's great that you are looking

out for

> your son's health, and I am so sorry that your hubby is using such

poor

> judgement. Behavior like his is what pushed me into emotional

eating when I

> was only " chunky " and made me " fat " instead. Showing your son that

he can be

> healthy but not deprived is great! I wish someone in my family had

done the

> same for me.

>

> I am really worried about my own son's eating habits... not because

he is

> chubby (the doctors actually want him to GAIN weight), but because

my mother

> has gotten him eating so much junk food! He spends several hours at

her

> house after school each day, until I get off work, plus he stays

with her

> every other weekend. Her house is a cornucopia of candy, chips,

cookies,

> cakes, etc! It is so bad, that when I pick him up, I want to RUN

out of

> there so I won't be tempted. You cannot even SEE the surface of her

kitchen

> table because it is piled high with junk food. She has good fruits

and stuff

> in the house too, and always makes him a balanced dinner... but she

also

> does not prevent him from going for the junk first thing when he

walks in

> the door. It makes me want to pull out my hair in frustration!

>

> Anyway, keep up the good work! Your love and care will help to

teach him

> early, so he won't have to suffer like so many of us have.

> Jette

>

>

> I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

>

>

> > I just have to complain for a minute. I'm sooooooooo mad at my

> > hubby. My just 12 year old is staying with my parents right now.

> <snip>

> > Anyway, his weight is an issue that needs to be dealt with, but I

> > believe it's an issue that needs to be treaded on lightly.

> <snip>

> > My husband on the other hand told him

> > how fat he was, told him he had boy boobs and marched him up to

the

> > scale. I was livid.

> <snip>

> > He was here today and did my 3 mile

> > walking tape with me and ate healthy meals. Then I gave them all

a

> > small ice cream cone (or so they thought-smile-it was actually my

low

> > fat frozen yogurt). When I handed it to him he said, " but I

thought

> > you guys wanted me to loose weight???? " I answered that I do, but

> > that together we can help him do that without depriving him of

any of

> > the things he loves

[Guest guest]

Thanks SHaron, I hope he can realize Jerry is only concerned and

going about dealing with it totally wrong. My guy actually had tears

in his eyes when Daddy told him he had boy boobs. You think then

Jerry would knock it off, but noooooooooooo, he had to still march

him up to the scale. So yes, he really did 'biff' it!!!!!!!!!!

Meaghan

> Oh Meaghan,

>

> Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach is

> sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your message and can

> weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize that Dad

> just is worried about him. Good luck!

>

> Sharon

[Guest guest]

Boy, you have your hands full!!!! maybe you and your son can make a game of

eating healthy food when he is back with you. I do that with my nephew when he

visits and we never even discuss the scale or starting weight. Actually we do

water and fruits/veg. servings. Hope your husband can learn from his big

BIFFFFF and that your wasn't so upset that he just wants to eat more! Hang in

there, Jinx

Re: I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks SHaron, I hope he can realize Jerry is only concerned and

going about dealing with it totally wrong. My guy actually had tears

in his eyes when Daddy told him he had boy boobs. You think then

Jerry would knock it off, but noooooooooooo, he had to still march

him up to the scale. So yes, he really did 'biff' it!!!!!!!!!!

Meaghan

> Oh Meaghan,

>

> Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach is

> sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your message and can

> weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize that Dad

> just is worried about him. Good luck!

>

> Sharon

[Guest guest]

It's pretty much a no win situation with my mom and the junk food for

several reasons:

1. Ever since my son was diagnosed with cancer, she can't seem to ever say

no to him, which has caused numerous behavioral problems

2. She is a major sugar-junkie herself, and her eating habits are as bad as

his.

3. She has legal custody over him, and fighting with her over stuff like

this usually results in her not letting me see him. It is only just this

year that he has finally moved back in with us.

I'm just going to have to do my best to counteract the bad habits (eating

and otherwise) that he learns there by enforcing good habits when he is with

me.

Jette

----- Original Message -----

> Have you discussed the junk food with your mom or is it a no win

> situation there too?? Have you tried telling your son that you would

> prefer he not eat the junk food every day??? How old is he???

> Meaghan---

[Guest guest]

Jinx, That's a great idea, I'll have to keep that in mind. Maybe

see who can come up with the healthiest, well balanced yet satisfying

meals. Good thought, thanks. Meaghan

> > Oh Meaghan,

> >

> > Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach is

> > sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your message and

can

> > weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize that

Dad

> > just is worried about him. Good luck!

> >

> > Sharon

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh I forgot to tell you guys, maybe I made a little impact on Jerry

too. He normally just eats one massive meal a day and thinks he's

doing great. I've preached and preached about how your body needs

energy all day. Well today before he left for work he actually ate

lunch. He made himself a sandwich and then made a salad to go with

it, rather then chips. He was so funny....he said hey, did you know

this bag of salad has cucumbers in it. Like, Hello, who do you think

put them in there-lol. Anyway I was happy, maybe he's going to try

to make a few changes too. Then maybe he'll lay off not only

Zachary, but me. If he actually starts eating better for even a

week, he'll feel better and maybe something will click.

He's still not thrilled about our camping trip on June 1, 2 and 3

though. He loves camping at the river where we can go on float trips

or just lounge by the river all day. And I do too, that's what we'll

be doing later in June and again in July and August hopefully. But

this time we're going to s Shuttins. Weather permitting,

they'll be some lounging around in the water, but there will also be

alot of hiking through the shuttins and at Elephant Rocks. There's

another park close by too where you trek 3 miles to the biggest wet

weather waterfall in MO, but he's not up for that considering it's

another 3 miles down, and I will expect him to help carry .

Anyway though, now I'm rambling, Meaghan

> > Oh Meaghan,

> >

> > Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach is

> > sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your message and

can

> > weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize that

Dad

> > just is worried about him. Good luck!

> >

> > Sharon

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

-Wow Jette, You have your hands full too don't you!?!? He'll learn

though, by watching you and learning what's right and wrong. Good

luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meaghan who will be thinking of you as I

battle my mom on this.-- In

weightlossbuddies2 , " Jette " <yahoo@e...> wrote:

> It's pretty much a no win situation with my mom and the junk food

for

> several reasons:

>

> 1. Ever since my son was diagnosed with cancer, she can't seem to

ever say

> no to him, which has caused numerous behavioral problems

> 2. She is a major sugar-junkie herself, and her eating habits are

as bad as

> his.

> 3. She has legal custody over him, and fighting with her over stuff

like

> this usually results in her not letting me see him. It is only just

this

> year that he has finally moved back in with us.

>

> I'm just going to have to do my best to counteract the bad habits

(eating

> and otherwise) that he learns there by enforcing good habits when

he is with

> me.

>

> Jette

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: Meaghan <meaghandionne@y...>

>

> > Have you discussed the junk food with your mom or is it a no win

> > situation there too?? Have you tried telling your son that you

would

> > prefer he not eat the junk food every day??? How old is he???

> > Meaghan---

[Guest guest]

OMG! I have not thought of Shuttins in over 20 years! Same for

Elephant Rocks State Park. Wow, what a blast from the past.

Anne

Re: I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I forgot to tell you guys, maybe I made a little impact on Jerry

too. He normally just eats one massive meal a day and thinks he's

doing great. I've preached and preached about how your body needs

energy all day. Well today before he left for work he actually ate

lunch. He made himself a sandwich and then made a salad to go with

it, rather then chips. He was so funny....he said hey, did you know

this bag of salad has cucumbers in it. Like, Hello, who do you think

put them in there-lol. Anyway I was happy, maybe he's going to try

to make a few changes too. Then maybe he'll lay off not only

Zachary, but me. If he actually starts eating better for even a

week, he'll feel better and maybe something will click.

He's still not thrilled about our camping trip on June 1, 2 and 3

though. He loves camping at the river where we can go on float trips

or just lounge by the river all day. And I do too, that's what we'll

be doing later in June and again in July and August hopefully. But

this time we're going to s Shuttins. Weather permitting,

they'll be some lounging around in the water, but there will also be

alot of hiking through the shuttins and at Elephant Rocks. There's

another park close by too where you trek 3 miles to the biggest wet

weather waterfall in MO, but he's not up for that considering it's

another 3 miles down, and I will expect him to help carry .

Anyway though, now I'm rambling, Meaghan

> > Oh Meaghan,

> >

> > Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach is

> > sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your message and

can

> > weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize that

Dad

> > just is worried about him. Good luck!

> >

> > Sharon

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You know men are so silly sometimes. They say things that they

really don't see as something that will hurt. They have a different

venacular than us really and they are so different on the mindset of

weight. I hope your hubby realizes that your son just isn't old

enough to be a hardened man and understand his humor or his perceived

way of " motivating " him to lose weight. I'm glad he's finally

listening to you and making some changes. Hopefully your son's next

experience with him is a " lead by example " experience and everyone

will benefit.

Hugs,

> > > Oh Meaghan,

> > >

> > > Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach

is

> > > sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your message

and

> can

> > > weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize

that

> Dad

> > > just is worried about him. Good luck!

> > >

> > > Sharon

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

-Yeah there pretty neat places to just hang around and do some

walking and play in the water if it's warm enough. I can't wait.

I've been restocking the pop up for this summer. Meaghan-- In

weightlossbuddies2 , " Anne Klein " <anne@m...> wrote:

> OMG! I have not thought of Shuttins in over 20 years!

Same for Elephant Rocks State Park. Wow, what a blast from the past.

>

> Anne

> Re: I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

>

>

> Oh I forgot to tell you guys, maybe I made a little impact on

Jerry

> too. He normally just eats one massive meal a day and thinks

he's

> doing great. I've preached and preached about how your body

needs

> energy all day. Well today before he left for work he actually

ate

> lunch. He made himself a sandwich and then made a salad to go

with

> it, rather then chips. He was so funny....he said hey, did you

know

> this bag of salad has cucumbers in it. Like, Hello, who do you

think

> put them in there-lol. Anyway I was happy, maybe he's going to

try

> to make a few changes too. Then maybe he'll lay off not only

> Zachary, but me. If he actually starts eating better for even a

> week, he'll feel better and maybe something will click.

> He's still not thrilled about our camping trip on June 1, 2 and 3

> though. He loves camping at the river where we can go on float

trips

> or just lounge by the river all day. And I do too, that's what

we'll

> be doing later in June and again in July and August hopefully.

But

> this time we're going to s Shuttins. Weather permitting,

> they'll be some lounging around in the water, but there will also

be

> alot of hiking through the shuttins and at Elephant Rocks.

There's

> another park close by too where you trek 3 miles to the biggest

wet

> weather waterfall in MO, but he's not up for that considering

it's

> another 3 miles down, and I will expect him to help carry

.

> Anyway though, now I'm rambling, Meaghan

> > > Oh Meaghan,

> > >

> > > Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach

is

> > > sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your message

and

> can

> > > weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize

that

> Dad

> > > just is worried about him. Good luck!

> > >

> > > Sharon

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

-Hopefully your son's next

> experience with him is a " lead by example " experience and everyone

> will benefit.

, I sure hope so, because his (my husbands) current behavior

is ludicrous!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meaghan (who has not a clue what venacular

means-lol. Zachary took the dictionary to Grandma's.)

-- In weightlossbuddies2 , " allison19752001 "

<trautmanfamily@s...> wrote:

> You know men are so silly sometimes. They say things that they

> really don't see as something that will hurt. They have a

different

> venacular than us really and they are so different on the mindset

of

> weight. I hope your hubby realizes that your son just isn't old

> enough to be a hardened man and understand his humor or his

perceived

> way of " motivating " him to lose weight. I'm glad he's finally

> listening to you and making some changes. >

> Hugs,

>

>

> > > > Oh Meaghan,

> > > >

> > > > Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach

> is

> > > > sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your

message

> and

> > can

> > > > weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize

> that

> > Dad

> > > > just is worried about him. Good luck!

> > > >

> > > > Sharon

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

-Hopefully your son's next

> experience with him is a " lead by example " experience and everyone

> will benefit.

, I sure hope so, because his (my husbands) current behavior

is ludicrous!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meaghan (who has not a clue what venacular

means-lol. Zachary took the dictionary to Grandma's.)

-- In weightlossbuddies2 , " allison19752001 "

<trautmanfamily@s...> wrote:

> You know men are so silly sometimes. They say things that they

> really don't see as something that will hurt. They have a

different

> venacular than us really and they are so different on the mindset

of

> weight. I hope your hubby realizes that your son just isn't old

> enough to be a hardened man and understand his humor or his

perceived

> way of " motivating " him to lose weight. I'm glad he's finally

> listening to you and making some changes. >

> Hugs,

>

>

> > > > Oh Meaghan,

> > > >

> > > > Your DH really biffed it, didn't he? UGH! Your approach

> is

> > > > sensitive and caring, hopefully your son heard your

message

> and

> > can

> > > > weed out the negativity of your DH's approach and realize

> that

> > Dad

> > > > just is worried about him. Good luck!

> > > >

> > > > Sharon

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Hi Meaghan

I'm sure you will have had many

replies on this by now. :-)

But from what you said you sound

like a wonderful mother, and you

handled your talk with your son very

well. What a pity your hubby had to

go and spoil it. Huh men have no

sense, lol. I would love to know

what your hubbies reaction was to

what you said about his weight.

Sometimes we have to be a little

cruel with men, just to get the

point across.

I'm sure with your help your son

will be fine.

Hugs

Sue H.

> I just have to complain for a

minute. I'm sooooooooo mad at my

> hubby. My just 12 year old is

staying with my parents right now.

> All of my kids have been slender

and tall since they were born and he

> was no exception. I'm very active

though, so they are also. Being

> with grandma and grandpa provides

alot more TV and computer time

> however and he has gained some

serious weight. He was a size 14

when

> he went there and is now just

barely squeezing into a size 18.

This

> obviously worries me greatly and

I've had extensive talks with my

> parents about helping him make

good food choices and the hour limit

> to computer/TV rule that my kids

live by. We've talked and talked

> and they know my fears and are I'm

sure trying their best to help him

> monitor things, but this whole

situation is really hard on them

too.

> Anyway, his weight is an issue

that needs to be dealt with, but I

> believe it's an issue that needs

to be treaded on lightly. I've

> explained to him in depth about

how he needs to make sure he's

> getting his fruits and vegetables,

and that even though Grandma has

> all the yummy stuff he needs to

eat that sparingly and reach for the

> fruit if he's hungry. (Which is

always also around in abundence

> because they breed parrots.) I've

also explained how easy it is to

> eat just because your bored,

homesick or upset and that he needs

to

> try to avoid that. I bought his

bike, soccer ball and net, scooter,

> and basketball stuff over there.

I've explained the importance of

> water, which he always had here

but now is sucking down juice.

> Anyway, I told him he needed to be

careful and only eat when hungry

> regardless of what he's offered,

because he was starting to gain a

> little extra unneeded weight. My

husband on the other hand told him

> how fat he was, told him he had

boy boobs and marched him up to the

> scale. I was livid. We had a

LONG talk after Zachary left and I

> think it maybe sunk in. I pointed

out just as I have to be careful

> in letting my kids know I'm

exercising to be healthy and watch

what I

> eat to maintain a healthy weight

he has to watch what he says. He's

> afraid my actions will make my

daughter anorexic but he doesn't see

> how what he did could lead to

obesity. Am I right on this or just

> being paranoid????? It would seem

to me that comments on that will

> lead him to sneak food and binge.

I really am furious. Anyway, I

> thought I would really show

him....there's that mean streak in

me.

> So I put in Zachary's info and he

came up as overweight but in the

> 47th percentile for his age and

then put in Jerry's who came up

> overweight but in the 57th

percentile. I thought maybe

pointing out

> he could make a few changes might

make him lighten up on Zachary. I

> know he's just worried about him,

as I am, but I think his approach

> will make matters worse. Thank

goodness he'll be home in a couple

> months and I'll be here making

sure he makes good choices, controls

> his portions, and exercises. He

was here today and did my 3 mile

> walking tape with me and ate

healthy meals. Then I gave them all

a

> small ice cream cone (or so they

thought-smile-it was actually my low

> fat frozen yogurt). When I handed

it to him he said, " but I thought

> you guys wanted me to loose

weight???? " I answered that I do,

but

> that together we can help him do

that without depriving him of any of

> the things he loves.

> Sorry, that was longer then I

meant it to be. Meaghan

[Guest guest]

Hi Meaghan

I'm sure you will have had many

replies on this by now. :-)

But from what you said you sound

like a wonderful mother, and you

handled your talk with your son very

well. What a pity your hubby had to

go and spoil it. Huh men have no

sense, lol. I would love to know

what your hubbies reaction was to

what you said about his weight.

Sometimes we have to be a little

cruel with men, just to get the

point across.

I'm sure with your help your son

will be fine.

Hugs

Sue H.

> I just have to complain for a

minute. I'm sooooooooo mad at my

> hubby. My just 12 year old is

staying with my parents right now.

> All of my kids have been slender

and tall since they were born and he

> was no exception. I'm very active

though, so they are also. Being

> with grandma and grandpa provides

alot more TV and computer time

> however and he has gained some

serious weight. He was a size 14

when

> he went there and is now just

barely squeezing into a size 18.

This

> obviously worries me greatly and

I've had extensive talks with my

> parents about helping him make

good food choices and the hour limit

> to computer/TV rule that my kids

live by. We've talked and talked

> and they know my fears and are I'm

sure trying their best to help him

> monitor things, but this whole

situation is really hard on them

too.

> Anyway, his weight is an issue

that needs to be dealt with, but I

> believe it's an issue that needs

to be treaded on lightly. I've

> explained to him in depth about

how he needs to make sure he's

> getting his fruits and vegetables,

and that even though Grandma has

> all the yummy stuff he needs to

eat that sparingly and reach for the

> fruit if he's hungry. (Which is

always also around in abundence

> because they breed parrots.) I've

also explained how easy it is to

> eat just because your bored,

homesick or upset and that he needs

to

> try to avoid that. I bought his

bike, soccer ball and net, scooter,

> and basketball stuff over there.

I've explained the importance of

> water, which he always had here

but now is sucking down juice.

> Anyway, I told him he needed to be

careful and only eat when hungry

> regardless of what he's offered,

because he was starting to gain a

> little extra unneeded weight. My

husband on the other hand told him

> how fat he was, told him he had

boy boobs and marched him up to the

> scale. I was livid. We had a

LONG talk after Zachary left and I

> think it maybe sunk in. I pointed

out just as I have to be careful

> in letting my kids know I'm

exercising to be healthy and watch

what I

> eat to maintain a healthy weight

he has to watch what he says. He's

> afraid my actions will make my

daughter anorexic but he doesn't see

> how what he did could lead to

obesity. Am I right on this or just

> being paranoid????? It would seem

to me that comments on that will

> lead him to sneak food and binge.

I really am furious. Anyway, I

> thought I would really show

him....there's that mean streak in

me.

> So I put in Zachary's info and he

came up as overweight but in the

> 47th percentile for his age and

then put in Jerry's who came up

> overweight but in the 57th

percentile. I thought maybe

pointing out

> he could make a few changes might

make him lighten up on Zachary. I

> know he's just worried about him,

as I am, but I think his approach

> will make matters worse. Thank

goodness he'll be home in a couple

> months and I'll be here making

sure he makes good choices, controls

> his portions, and exercises. He

was here today and did my 3 mile

> walking tape with me and ate

healthy meals. Then I gave them all

a

> small ice cream cone (or so they

thought-smile-it was actually my low

> fat frozen yogurt). When I handed

it to him he said, " but I thought

> you guys wanted me to loose

weight???? " I answered that I do,

but

> that together we can help him do

that without depriving him of any of

> the things he loves.

> Sorry, that was longer then I

meant it to be. Meaghan

[Guest guest]

-Sue, Thanks for saying that!!!!!!!!

It was hilarious when I showed Jerry his stats. He got all peeved

and said well it's obvious wrong because he doesn't have any fat on

him. I agree he's very firm, all except for that beer belly-lol. So

I said so, and he's like, no this is all muscle, feel...as he sucks

in his gutt. It was soooo funny, but I guess you had to be here to

get the humor. He has made much better food choices today and

yesterday though. Now what am I ever going to do with allllllllllll

these chips-lol. Meaghan-- In

weightlossbuddies2 , " Sue " <crystalheart52@y...> wrote:

> Hi Meaghan

> I'm sure you will have had many

> replies on this by now. :-)

> But from what you said you sound

> like a wonderful mother, and you

> handled your talk with your son very

> well. What a pity your hubby had to

> go and spoil it. Huh men have no

> sense, lol. I would love to know

> what your hubbies reaction was to

> what you said about his weight.

> Sometimes we have to be a little

> cruel with men, just to get the

> point across.

> I'm sure with your help your son

> will be fine.

> Hugs

> Sue H.

>

> > I just have to complain for a

> minute. I'm sooooooooo mad at my

> > hubby. My just 12 year old is

> staying with my parents right now.

> > All of my kids have been slender

> and tall since they were born and he

> > was no exception. I'm very active

> though, so they are also. Being

> > with grandma and grandpa provides

> alot more TV and computer time

> > however and he has gained some

> serious weight. He was a size 14

> when

> > he went there and is now just

> barely squeezing into a size 18.

> This

> > obviously worries me greatly and

> I've had extensive talks with my

> > parents about helping him make

> good food choices and the hour limit

> > to computer/TV rule that my kids

> live by. We've talked and talked

> > and they know my fears and are I'm

> sure trying their best to help him

> > monitor things, but this whole

> situation is really hard on them

> too.

> > Anyway, his weight is an issue

> that needs to be dealt with, but I

> > believe it's an issue that needs

> to be treaded on lightly. I've

> > explained to him in depth about

> how he needs to make sure he's

> > getting his fruits and vegetables,

> and that even though Grandma has

> > all the yummy stuff he needs to

> eat that sparingly and reach for the

> > fruit if he's hungry. (Which is

> always also around in abundence

> > because they breed parrots.) I've

> also explained how easy it is to

> > eat just because your bored,

> homesick or upset and that he needs

> to

> > try to avoid that. I bought his

> bike, soccer ball and net, scooter,

> > and basketball stuff over there.

> I've explained the importance of

> > water, which he always had here

> but now is sucking down juice.

> > Anyway, I told him he needed to be

> careful and only eat when hungry

> > regardless of what he's offered,

> because he was starting to gain a

> > little extra unneeded weight. My

> husband on the other hand told him

> > how fat he was, told him he had

> boy boobs and marched him up to the

> > scale. I was livid. We had a

> LONG talk after Zachary left and I

> > think it maybe sunk in. I pointed

> out just as I have to be careful

> > in letting my kids know I'm

> exercising to be healthy and watch

> what I

> > eat to maintain a healthy weight

> he has to watch what he says. He's

> > afraid my actions will make my

> daughter anorexic but he doesn't see

> > how what he did could lead to

> obesity. Am I right on this or just

> > being paranoid????? It would seem

> to me that comments on that will

> > lead him to sneak food and binge.

> I really am furious. Anyway, I

> > thought I would really show

> him....there's that mean streak in

> me.

> > So I put in Zachary's info and he

> came up as overweight but in the

> > 47th percentile for his age and

> then put in Jerry's who came up

> > overweight but in the 57th

> percentile. I thought maybe

> pointing out

> > he could make a few changes might

> make him lighten up on Zachary. I

> > know he's just worried about him,

> as I am, but I think his approach

> > will make matters worse. Thank

> goodness he'll be home in a couple

> > months and I'll be here making

> sure he makes good choices, controls

> > his portions, and exercises. He

> was here today and did my 3 mile

> > walking tape with me and ate

> healthy meals. Then I gave them all

> a

> > small ice cream cone (or so they

> thought-smile-it was actually my low

> > fat frozen yogurt). When I handed

> it to him he said, " but I thought

> > you guys wanted me to loose

> weight???? " I answered that I do,

> but

> > that together we can help him do

> that without depriving him of any of

> > the things he loves.

> > Sorry, that was longer then I

> meant it to be. Meaghan

[Guest guest]

-Sue, Thanks for saying that!!!!!!!!

It was hilarious when I showed Jerry his stats. He got all peeved

and said well it's obvious wrong because he doesn't have any fat on

him. I agree he's very firm, all except for that beer belly-lol. So

I said so, and he's like, no this is all muscle, feel...as he sucks

in his gutt. It was soooo funny, but I guess you had to be here to

get the humor. He has made much better food choices today and

yesterday though. Now what am I ever going to do with allllllllllll

these chips-lol. Meaghan-- In

weightlossbuddies2 , " Sue " <crystalheart52@y...> wrote:

> Hi Meaghan

> I'm sure you will have had many

> replies on this by now. :-)

> But from what you said you sound

> like a wonderful mother, and you

> handled your talk with your son very

> well. What a pity your hubby had to

> go and spoil it. Huh men have no

> sense, lol. I would love to know

> what your hubbies reaction was to

> what you said about his weight.

> Sometimes we have to be a little

> cruel with men, just to get the

> point across.

> I'm sure with your help your son

> will be fine.

> Hugs

> Sue H.

>

> > I just have to complain for a

> minute. I'm sooooooooo mad at my

> > hubby. My just 12 year old is

> staying with my parents right now.

> > All of my kids have been slender

> and tall since they were born and he

> > was no exception. I'm very active

> though, so they are also. Being

> > with grandma and grandpa provides

> alot more TV and computer time

> > however and he has gained some

> serious weight. He was a size 14

> when

> > he went there and is now just

> barely squeezing into a size 18.

> This

> > obviously worries me greatly and

> I've had extensive talks with my

> > parents about helping him make

> good food choices and the hour limit

> > to computer/TV rule that my kids

> live by. We've talked and talked

> > and they know my fears and are I'm

> sure trying their best to help him

> > monitor things, but this whole

> situation is really hard on them

> too.

> > Anyway, his weight is an issue

> that needs to be dealt with, but I

> > believe it's an issue that needs

> to be treaded on lightly. I've

> > explained to him in depth about

> how he needs to make sure he's

> > getting his fruits and vegetables,

> and that even though Grandma has

> > all the yummy stuff he needs to

> eat that sparingly and reach for the

> > fruit if he's hungry. (Which is

> always also around in abundence

> > because they breed parrots.) I've

> also explained how easy it is to

> > eat just because your bored,

> homesick or upset and that he needs

> to

> > try to avoid that. I bought his

> bike, soccer ball and net, scooter,

> > and basketball stuff over there.

> I've explained the importance of

> > water, which he always had here

> but now is sucking down juice.

> > Anyway, I told him he needed to be

> careful and only eat when hungry

> > regardless of what he's offered,

> because he was starting to gain a

> > little extra unneeded weight. My

> husband on the other hand told him

> > how fat he was, told him he had

> boy boobs and marched him up to the

> > scale. I was livid. We had a

> LONG talk after Zachary left and I

> > think it maybe sunk in. I pointed

> out just as I have to be careful

> > in letting my kids know I'm

> exercising to be healthy and watch

> what I

> > eat to maintain a healthy weight

> he has to watch what he says. He's

> > afraid my actions will make my

> daughter anorexic but he doesn't see

> > how what he did could lead to

> obesity. Am I right on this or just

> > being paranoid????? It would seem

> to me that comments on that will

> > lead him to sneak food and binge.

> I really am furious. Anyway, I

> > thought I would really show

> him....there's that mean streak in

> me.

> > So I put in Zachary's info and he

> came up as overweight but in the

> > 47th percentile for his age and

> then put in Jerry's who came up

> > overweight but in the 57th

> percentile. I thought maybe

> pointing out

> > he could make a few changes might

> make him lighten up on Zachary. I

> > know he's just worried about him,

> as I am, but I think his approach

> > will make matters worse. Thank

> goodness he'll be home in a couple

> > months and I'll be here making

> sure he makes good choices, controls

> > his portions, and exercises. He

> was here today and did my 3 mile

> > walking tape with me and ate

> healthy meals. Then I gave them all

> a

> > small ice cream cone (or so they

> thought-smile-it was actually my low

> > fat frozen yogurt). When I handed

> it to him he said, " but I thought

> > you guys wanted me to loose

> weight???? " I answered that I do,

> but

> > that together we can help him do

> that without depriving him of any of

> > the things he loves.

> > Sorry, that was longer then I

> meant it to be. Meaghan

[Guest guest]

Hi Meaghan

I didn't know your son had been

diagnosed with cancer, is he alright

now?? Just wanted to say that that

is one more reason for him to eat

healthy. Junk food is a bad idea

for someone in that situation. Too

many toxins for the body to cope

with. Try explaining that to your

Mom. Good luck!!!

Hugs

Sue H.

> It's pretty much a no win

situation with my mom and the junk

food for

> several reasons:

>

> 1. Ever since my son was diagnosed

with cancer, she can't seem to ever

say

> no to him, which has caused

numerous behavioral problems

> 2. She is a major sugar-junkie

herself, and her eating habits are

as bad as

> his.

> 3. She has legal custody over him,

and fighting with her over stuff

like

> this usually results in her not

letting me see him. It is only just

this

> year that he has finally moved

back in with us.

>

> I'm just going to have to do my

best to counteract the bad habits

(eating

> and otherwise) that he learns

there by enforcing good habits when

he is with

> me.

>

> Jette

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: Meaghan <meaghandionne@y...>

>

> > Have you discussed the junk food

with your mom or is it a no win

> > situation there too?? Have you

tried telling your son that you

would

> > prefer he not eat the junk food

every day??? How old is he???

> > Meaghan---

[Guest guest]

-Sue H., Wow you just made my heart skip a few beats!!!!! That is

Jette's son, not mine. (I interpreted it as it was something her son

had when he was little and that he's O.K. now. I pray I got that

right!!!!! (Jette????)) Meaghan

-- In weightlossbuddies2 , " Sue " <crystalheart52@y...>

wrote:

> Hi Meaghan

> I didn't know your son had been

> diagnosed with cancer, is he alright

> now?? Just wanted to say that that

> is one more reason for him to eat

> healthy. Junk food is a bad idea

> for someone in that situation. Too

> many toxins for the body to cope

> with. Try explaining that to your

> Mom. Good luck!!!

> Hugs

> Sue H.

>

> > It's pretty much a no win

> situation with my mom and the junk

> food for

> > several reasons:

> >

> > 1. Ever since my son was diagnosed

> with cancer, she can't seem to ever

> say

> > no to him, which has caused

> numerous behavioral problems

> > 2. She is a major sugar-junkie

> herself, and her eating habits are

> as bad as

> > his.

> > 3. She has legal custody over him,

> and fighting with her over stuff

> like

> > this usually results in her not

> letting me see him. It is only just

> this

> > year that he has finally moved

> back in with us.

> >

> > I'm just going to have to do my

> best to counteract the bad habits

> (eating

> > and otherwise) that he learns

> there by enforcing good habits when

> he is with

> > me.

> >

> > Jette

> >

> > ----- Original Message -----

> > From: Meaghan <meaghandionne@y...>

> >

> > > Have you discussed the junk food

> with your mom or is it a no win

> > > situation there too?? Have you

> tried telling your son that you

> would

> > > prefer he not eat the junk food

> every day??? How old is he???

> > > Meaghan---

[Guest guest]

LOL Meaghan, Yes I do know all about

men and their Muscular beer guts :-D

They really do think they are

fooling us just by sucking them in,

lol. NOT!!!!!

What to do with the chips? Feed them

to the birds LOL.

Sue H. Still chuckling!!

> > > I just have to complain for a

> > minute. I'm sooooooooo mad at

my

> > > hubby. My just 12 year old is

> > staying with my parents right

now.

> > > All of my kids have been

slender

> > and tall since they were born

and he

> > > was no exception. I'm very

active

> > though, so they are also. Being

> > > with grandma and grandpa

provides

> > alot more TV and computer time

> > > however and he has gained some

> > serious weight. He was a size

14

> > when

> > > he went there and is now just

> > barely squeezing into a size 18.

> > This

> > > obviously worries me greatly

and

> > I've had extensive talks with my

> > > parents about helping him make

> > good food choices and the hour

limit

> > > to computer/TV rule that my

kids

> > live by. We've talked and

talked

> > > and they know my fears and are

I'm

> > sure trying their best to help

him

> > > monitor things, but this whole

> > situation is really hard on them

> > too.

> > > Anyway, his weight is an issue

> > that needs to be dealt with, but

I

> > > believe it's an issue that

needs

> > to be treaded on lightly. I've

> > > explained to him in depth

about

> > how he needs to make sure he's

> > > getting his fruits and

vegetables,

> > and that even though Grandma has

> > > all the yummy stuff he needs

to

> > eat that sparingly and reach for

the

> > > fruit if he's hungry. (Which

is

> > always also around in abundence

> > > because they breed parrots.)

I've

> > also explained how easy it is to

> > > eat just because your bored,

> > homesick or upset and that he

needs

> > to

> > > try to avoid that. I bought

his

> > bike, soccer ball and net,

scooter,

> > > and basketball stuff over

there.

> > I've explained the importance of

> > > water, which he always had

here

> > but now is sucking down juice.

> > > Anyway, I told him he needed

to be

> > careful and only eat when hungry

> > > regardless of what he's

offered,

> > because he was starting to gain

a

> > > little extra unneeded weight.

My

> > husband on the other hand told

him

> > > how fat he was, told him he

had

> > boy boobs and marched him up to

the

> > > scale. I was livid. We had a

> > LONG talk after Zachary left and

I

> > > think it maybe sunk in. I

pointed

> > out just as I have to be careful

> > > in letting my kids know I'm

> > exercising to be healthy and

watch

> > what I

> > > eat to maintain a healthy

weight

> > he has to watch what he says.

He's

> > > afraid my actions will make my

> > daughter anorexic but he doesn't

see

> > > how what he did could lead to

> > obesity. Am I right on this or

just

> > > being paranoid??

[Guest guest]

Whooooops Soooooooo Sorry Meaghan

Didn't mean to give you a heart

attack, :-P

I'm half asleep here, it is 1.15am

in the UK. lol.

Hugs

Sue H.

> > > It's pretty much a no win

> > situation with my mom and the

junk

> > food for

> > > several reasons:

> > >

> > > 1. Ever since my son was

diagnosed

> > with cancer, she can't seem to

ever

> > say

> > > no to him, which has caused

> > numerous behavioral problems

> > > 2. She is a major sugar-junkie

> > herself, and her eating habits

are

> > as bad as

> > > his.

> > > 3. She has legal custody over

him,

> > and fighting with her over stuff

> > like

> > > this usually results in her

not

> > letting me see him. It is only

just

> > this

> > > year that he has finally moved

> > back in with us.

> > >

> > > I'm just going to have to do

my

> > best to counteract the bad

habits

> > (eating

> > > and otherwise) that he learns

> > there by enforcing good habits

when

> > he is with

> > > me.

> > >

> > > Jette

> > >

> > > ----- Original Message -----

> > > From: Meaghan

<meaghandionne@y...>

> > >

> > > > Have you discussed the junk

food

> > with your mom or is it a no win

> > > > situation there too?? Have

you

> > tried telling your son that you

> > would

> > > > prefer he not eat the junk

food

> > every day??? How old is he???

> > > > Meaghan---

[Guest guest]

Oh Nicci, I would be fuming!!!!!!!! I can't believe she told her to

hide it from you and that crap about you thinking everybody should be

on a diet. That's just wrong!!!!!! I would make other arrangements

too. I'm sure she's just trying to show love in some round about, I

get you special treats, way, but that is sooooooo wrong to just

straight out defy you. Can you tell I'm pissed for you. Meaghan

> I can totally understand where you gals are coming from. My

grandmother gets Cassie off the bus and keeps her for about 45

minutes every day until I get home from work, and every day she buys

her a " treat " at the store, usually a bag of cheese curls or doritos

as well as a candy bar. And every day for a long time I knew nothing

about it. Cassie is 7 and at the beginning of the school year she

weighed 80 pounds and was in a size 10. Now she weighs 98 pounds and

is in a size 16. I couldn't figure out for the longest time why she

was gaining so much weight, and at first I didn't say anything to her

about it. Then about a month ago she started getting really upset a

lot. Come to find out she is getting teased a lot at school about

her weight. I was at a loss as to why she was gaining since she eats

pretty healthy and is very active with dance, soccer, basketball, and

softball. I told her she just needs to keep making healthy food

choices and keep up her exercise that she gets from sports etc and

she said " but mom, its so hard not to eat the stuff grandma buys for

me after school. " I didn't know she was buying it, and we aren't

talking the little bags of chips, we're talking a whole big bag, and

Cassie eats the whole thing plus a milky way bar every day. So I

tried to talk to dear old grams about how Cassie's weight is

bothering her and how I'll start sending an afternoon snack with her

and please don't buy her junk at the store. Well, I thought it was

better at first, but it turns out that she is still buying the junk

and just telling Cassie to hide it from me. She told Cassie that

just because I'm on a diet I think the whole world should be on one

too, and that there is nothing wrong with the way she looks!! I

could have killed her!! Well, I'm at a loss now, cuz I don't know

how to handle it, so I've decided that we only have 3 weeks left of

school, and then I'll have to make other arrangements for Cassie

after school next year. I dont know what else to do.

> Nicci

> I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

>

>

> > I just have to complain for a minute. I'm sooooooooo mad at my

> > hubby. My just 12 year old is staying with my parents right

now.

> <snip>

> > Anyway, his weight is an issue that needs to be dealt with, but

I

> > believe it's an issue that needs to be treaded on lightly.

> <snip>

> > My husband on the other hand told him

> > how fat he was, told him he had boy boobs and marched him up to

the

> > scale. I was livid.

> <snip>

> > He was here today and did my 3 mile

> > walking tape with me and ate healthy meals. Then I gave them

all a

> > small ice cream cone (or so they thought-smile-it was actually

my low

> > fat frozen yogurt). When I handed it to him he said, " but I

thought

> > you guys wanted me to loose weight???? " I answered that I do,

but

> > that together we can help him do that without depriving him of

any of

> > the things he loves

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I can totally understand where you gals are coming from. My grandmother gets

Cassie off the bus and keeps her for about 45 minutes every day until I get home

from work, and every day she buys her a " treat " at the store, usually a bag of

cheese curls or doritos as well as a candy bar. And every day for a long time I

knew nothing about it. Cassie is 7 and at the beginning of the school year she

weighed 80 pounds and was in a size 10. Now she weighs 98 pounds and is in a

size 16. I couldn't figure out for the longest time why she was gaining so much

weight, and at first I didn't say anything to her about it. Then about a month

ago she started getting really upset a lot. Come to find out she is getting

teased a lot at school about her weight. I was at a loss as to why she was

gaining since she eats pretty healthy and is very active with dance, soccer,

basketball, and softball. I told her she just needs to keep making healthy food

choices and keep up her exercise that she gets from sports etc and she said " but

mom, its so hard not to eat the stuff grandma buys for me after school. " I

didn't know she was buying it, and we aren't talking the little bags of chips,

we're talking a whole big bag, and Cassie eats the whole thing plus a milky way

bar every day. So I tried to talk to dear old grams about how Cassie's weight

is bothering her and how I'll start sending an afternoon snack with her and

please don't buy her junk at the store. Well, I thought it was better at first,

but it turns out that she is still buying the junk and just telling Cassie to

hide it from me. She told Cassie that just because I'm on a diet I think the

whole world should be on one too, and that there is nothing wrong with the way

she looks!! I could have killed her!! Well, I'm at a loss now, cuz I don't

know how to handle it, so I've decided that we only have 3 weeks left of school,

and then I'll have to make other arrangements for Cassie after school next year.

I dont know what else to do.

Nicci

I'm sooooooooo mad!!!!!!!!!!

> I just have to complain for a minute. I'm sooooooooo mad at my

> hubby. My just 12 year old is staying with my parents right now.

<snip>

> Anyway, his weight is an issue that needs to be dealt with, but I

> believe it's an issue that needs to be treaded on lightly.

<snip>

> My husband on the other hand told him

> how fat he was, told him he had boy boobs and marched him up to the

> scale. I was livid.

<snip>

> He was here today and did my 3 mile

> walking tape with me and ate healthy meals. Then I gave them all a

> small ice cream cone (or so they thought-smile-it was actually my low

> fat frozen yogurt). When I handed it to him he said, " but I thought

> you guys wanted me to loose weight???? " I answered that I do, but

> that together we can help him do that without depriving him of any of

> the things he loves

[Guest guest]

Nicci,

I can tell you right now. Find someone else, who is going to respect

your decisions as a mother as to how this child should eat her

afternoon snacks. She is 7, she cannot restrain herself from the

wonderful, glorious, yummy, nasty, junk food!!! This same thing

happened to me, when i was 6-7 yrs old i was skinny!!!! like REALLY

skinny, but then we were allowed to have more and more junk food,

and i dont blame my parents they didnt realize what it could do. I

was an active kid also so they didnt think twice about it, both my

brother and sister never had a weight problem either, and because i

was in the pool everyday for like five hours a day they didnt think

it was really harmful. but it was, because it was the amount i was

eating...i'd just keep on eating it because it was an

addiction...here i am 17 years later and i'm still struggling. Now

i'm not saying that's what's going to happen to your daughter, of

course, but i'm just telling you my own experience. You know what

is good for her, and what she shouldnt be eating...obviously dear

old gramma doesnt becuase the child has gained 6 sizes and 18 lbs!

It is a very difficult decision too. Just remember we're all here

for you!! Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and make sure

you keep us up on what goes on!

*Giant HUGS*

Amy

> I can totally understand where you gals are coming from. My

grandmother gets Cassie off the bus and keeps her for about 45

minutes every day until I get home from work, and every day she buys

her a " treat " at the store, usually a bag of cheese curls or doritos

as well as a candy bar. And every day for a long time I knew

nothing about it. Cassie is 7 and at the beginning of the school

year she weighed 80 pounds and was in a size 10. Now she weighs 98

pounds and is in a size 16. I couldn't figure out for the longest

time why she was gaining so much weight, and at first I didn't say

anything to her about it. Then about a month ago she started

getting really upset a lot. Come to find out she is getting teased

a lot at school about her weight. I was at a loss as to why she was

gaining since she eats pretty healthy and is very active with dance,

soccer, basketball, and softball. I told her she just needs to keep

making healthy food choices and keep up her exercise that she gets

from sports etc and she said " but mom, its so hard not to eat the

stuff grandma buys for me after school. " I didn't know she was

buying it, and we aren't talking the little bags of chips, we're

talking a whole big bag, and Cassie eats the whole thing plus a

milky way bar every day. So I tried to talk to dear old grams about

how Cassie's weight is bothering her and how I'll start sending an

afternoon snack with her and please don't buy her junk at the

store. Well, I thought it was better at first, but it turns out

that she is still buying the junk and just telling Cassie to hide it

from me. She told Cassie that just because I'm on a diet I think

the whole world should be on one too, and that there is nothing

wrong with the way she looks!! I could have killed her!! Well, I'm

at a loss now, cuz I don't know how to handle it, so I've decided

that we only have 3 weeks left of school, and then I'll have to make

other arrangements for Cassie after school next year. I dont know

what else to do.

> Nicci