Guest guest Posted November 15, 2010 Report Share Posted November 15, 2010 Mozz, A few gems of wisdom. Feelings are not good, or bad, but simply are. If you feel bad you feel bad, if you are afraid, you are afraid. What we DO about our feelings can be good or bad, but what we feel simply IS. You have the right to feel it. You don t have to " feel " lovable to be loved, not by those who truly do. You are not mother of all living things, much as you would like to be so you can fix them. You can t change everything. As Reinhold Neibur prayed, God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things that I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Doug > > I'm still not Ok with having feelings, but I realized today that it's OKAY to have feelings. I constantly feel guilty or bad or ashamed of my feelings. Maybe now that I think it's OK to have them I will start feeling comfortable with having them? Maybe I will get to a point where I don't have the constant need to apologize for them? Does that make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2010 Report Share Posted November 15, 2010 Mozz, A few gems of wisdom. Feelings are not good, or bad, but simply are. If you feel bad you feel bad, if you are afraid, you are afraid. What we DO about our feelings can be good or bad, but what we feel simply IS. You have the right to feel it. You don t have to " feel " lovable to be loved, not by those who truly do. You are not mother of all living things, much as you would like to be so you can fix them. You can t change everything. As Reinhold Neibur prayed, God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things that I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Doug > > I'm still not Ok with having feelings, but I realized today that it's OKAY to have feelings. I constantly feel guilty or bad or ashamed of my feelings. Maybe now that I think it's OK to have them I will start feeling comfortable with having them? Maybe I will get to a point where I don't have the constant need to apologize for them? Does that make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2010 Report Share Posted November 15, 2010 Mozz, A few gems of wisdom. Feelings are not good, or bad, but simply are. If you feel bad you feel bad, if you are afraid, you are afraid. What we DO about our feelings can be good or bad, but what we feel simply IS. You have the right to feel it. You don t have to " feel " lovable to be loved, not by those who truly do. You are not mother of all living things, much as you would like to be so you can fix them. You can t change everything. As Reinhold Neibur prayed, God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things that I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Doug > > I'm still not Ok with having feelings, but I realized today that it's OKAY to have feelings. I constantly feel guilty or bad or ashamed of my feelings. Maybe now that I think it's OK to have them I will start feeling comfortable with having them? Maybe I will get to a point where I don't have the constant need to apologize for them? Does that make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Hi. I totally understand where you are coming from. I used to be in your position. I still am to a point. I have lived my entire life trying to please other people because I felt that I had to. I felt that my needs didn't matter and that I had to put others needs before mine. I am finding out now that all I have to do is love and be loved. I am able to do this because I am now able to admit I am codependent. I am making it a choice not to be codependent anymore. There is nothing wrong with me, just like there is nothing wrong with you. I can already tell that you are a beautiful person. I hope that one day you will agree > > I'm still not Ok with having feelings, but I realized today that it's OKAY to have feelings. I constantly feel guilty or bad or ashamed of my feelings. Maybe now that I think it's OK to have them I will start feeling comfortable with having them? Maybe I will get to a point where I don't have the constant need to apologize for them? Does that make sense? > I have been having a hard time as I was put on bed rest last week for contractions. I am now 35 weeks pregnant and while if the baby was born now he would most likely be fine, it's best for him to stay in a little longer. I am upset because one doctor told me bed rest for pre-term labor is not necessary and is " voo-doo " , while another told me absolutely modified bed rest in needed. So now I had to go off work a month early and am not getting paid and my poor husband is having to pick up all the housework slack and I can't even pick up my beautiful 21 month old.I also feel guilty about work because they are having a hard time without me. The worst part- now that I left early I will most likely not get as much time off after the baby is born and that KILLS me. ARGH!!! Lying around makes me even more tired. > So I feel guilty,sad and worried and more guilty for having things feelings when I am so blessed in many ways. Mad at myself for not " sucking it up " . My husband said (in a very nice way) that I have a harder time accepting what is than most, and then I felt the need to apologize for that! I just want to be OK with me- yes maybe I do have a hard time accepting things. But I have other good qualities to make up for my fleas right? And I can work on my fleas. No one is perfect- yet I feel less loveable when others notice any of my flaws. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Hi. I totally understand where you are coming from. I used to be in your position. I still am to a point. I have lived my entire life trying to please other people because I felt that I had to. I felt that my needs didn't matter and that I had to put others needs before mine. I am finding out now that all I have to do is love and be loved. I am able to do this because I am now able to admit I am codependent. I am making it a choice not to be codependent anymore. There is nothing wrong with me, just like there is nothing wrong with you. I can already tell that you are a beautiful person. I hope that one day you will agree > > I'm still not Ok with having feelings, but I realized today that it's OKAY to have feelings. I constantly feel guilty or bad or ashamed of my feelings. Maybe now that I think it's OK to have them I will start feeling comfortable with having them? Maybe I will get to a point where I don't have the constant need to apologize for them? Does that make sense? > I have been having a hard time as I was put on bed rest last week for contractions. I am now 35 weeks pregnant and while if the baby was born now he would most likely be fine, it's best for him to stay in a little longer. I am upset because one doctor told me bed rest for pre-term labor is not necessary and is " voo-doo " , while another told me absolutely modified bed rest in needed. So now I had to go off work a month early and am not getting paid and my poor husband is having to pick up all the housework slack and I can't even pick up my beautiful 21 month old.I also feel guilty about work because they are having a hard time without me. The worst part- now that I left early I will most likely not get as much time off after the baby is born and that KILLS me. ARGH!!! Lying around makes me even more tired. > So I feel guilty,sad and worried and more guilty for having things feelings when I am so blessed in many ways. Mad at myself for not " sucking it up " . My husband said (in a very nice way) that I have a harder time accepting what is than most, and then I felt the need to apologize for that! I just want to be OK with me- yes maybe I do have a hard time accepting things. But I have other good qualities to make up for my fleas right? And I can work on my fleas. No one is perfect- yet I feel less loveable when others notice any of my flaws. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 You are doing everything you can to take care of your baby. You have a loving and kind heart toward your husband and other little child. My heart aches for you at this time, not only because of your difficult pregnancy and work issues, but also because you feel guilty for taking care of the little life inside you. Yet, I also understand because I had a tendency to beat myself up any way I went during my pregnancies too. I had to quit a job with my first son because I was bleeding and the doc said I could lose him (it was very early on). The bank called it quitting without notice because they didn't see this as a medical necessity. :-( Please take care of yourself, for the little one at least. Although you deserve it too. :-) I'm so sorry about you getting less time with the baby after he/she is born! This is such an important time; American businesses just don't get it where babies are concerned. So many other countries are ahead of us on this one. I have taken a lot of hits for my kids in this area. I run a business, so I have flexibility with my hours, but it is a nightmare trying to work from home sometimes. I am working on my master's in school counseling so I can get a better job once they are in school. Blessings and take care. -Coal Miner's Daughter > > I'm still not Ok with having feelings, but I realized today that it's OKAY to have feelings. I constantly feel guilty or bad or ashamed of my feelings. Maybe now that I think it's OK to have them I will start feeling comfortable with having them? Maybe I will get to a point where I don't have the constant need to apologize for them? Does that make sense? > I have been having a hard time as I was put on bed rest last week for contractions. I am now 35 weeks pregnant and while if the baby was born now he would most likely be fine, it's best for him to stay in a little longer. I am upset because one doctor told me bed rest for pre-term labor is not necessary and is " voo-doo " , while another told me absolutely modified bed rest in needed. So now I had to go off work a month early and am not getting paid and my poor husband is having to pick up all the housework slack and I can't even pick up my beautiful 21 month old.I also feel guilty about work because they are having a hard time without me. The worst part- now that I left early I will most likely not get as much time off after the baby is born and that KILLS me. ARGH!!! Lying around makes me even more tired. > So I feel guilty,sad and worried and more guilty for having things feelings when I am so blessed in many ways. Mad at myself for not " sucking it up " . My husband said (in a very nice way) that I have a harder time accepting what is than most, and then I felt the need to apologize for that! I just want to be OK with me- yes maybe I do have a hard time accepting things. But I have other good qualities to make up for my fleas right? And I can work on my fleas. No one is perfect- yet I feel less loveable when others notice any of my flaws. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.