Re: Exhausted ( Very Long)

[Guest guest]

Hi Jgar and the KO gang,

I have appreciated reading this post and responses.

I would just like to share that less contact = less problems for me. I have

been feeling so much healthier and happier and better able to handle my family

and life since I instituted boundaries with nada. Maybe because we've been

through this before, she seemed to get the point pretty fast (or she's winding

up for the big one - a tirade I mean). But I got really involved in financial

problems, working, taking my sick kids down to Riley, etc. for a few years, so I

think I unintentionally created some strong boundaries with her years back that

I wasn't completely aware were there.

Interesting, and seemingly unbeknownst to nada, I was still hopelessly entangled

in her emotional snares. My years of busy-ness basically functioned like denial

and kept me unaware of the problems. I was actually just unable to get time or

energy to play her games. So I think she sees me as someone who " doesn't play " ?

I got back involved HEAVILY when step-dad passed away, then withdrew within a

couple months after realizing how horrible the contact was for all of us. Then

found out about BPD. Thank you Oz group!!!

So, one option might be to just get involved in whatever you need to be doing

legitimately. I remind myself that time spent on the black hole of nada's

emotional talks is like throwing money into a pit or pouring water in a bucket

with a hole in it. For me, that time is better spent on someone who appreciates

it, like my husband or children. :-) Good Luck!