Guest guest Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 What a wonderful post sanamu. You are really doing IE already. Its such an ongoing process and you are working hard at so many elements. Loved your observations - especially about how a woman's 'role' has been Hollyweird-ized into 'beautiful' (and nothing else!). That really brought a smile to me since I'm from an entirely different time where a woman's role was - housewife/mother etc. Neither role model, by itself or in disregard to one's self is satisfying! Its always been best to be what you ARE and desire to be. So much like IE really. Thanks bunches for sharing and giving me food for thought. Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > Well, it's Friday night - I'd consider this pretty much my first week of IE, even though I don't know all of the rule yet. > > Finding hunger has been a challenge this week. Two mornings I didn't eat because I wasn't hungry, ate later at work but was rushed and distracted, skipped lunch, ate a snack and then wasn't hungry at dinner so ate something later.... Those two days didn't work well at all; I didn't like my food and didn't like my meals (which were mostly eaten at my desk). And I'm not sure about expecting myself to be a very good intutive eater at work; it's somehow antithetical. > > The best thing I did was stop myself to become aware while eating and enjoyed the experience of eating with no distractions - at times. That and I stayed pretty much on task with tossing the idea of forbidden foods and even forbidden eating. > > Truth is, my clothes are already looser(!?) which has not been the goal, per se; it's to find sanity and peace around food, eating, body image, etc. Sure I want to be all the things thin represents, but I'm quickly figuring out that thin and those things were never equal. > > When I was married I tried to diet my marriage into success. I had this obsession that if only I were thin and pretty enough, our marriage would work. Crazy stuff. I thought I was so fat. And that he cared. At my thinnest, he barely noticed and cared even less. > > As much as that cost me in self esteen, even now, whenever I have some important event to go to, my first thought is what they will think of me when I show up having lost all the weight. > > I can see myself strolling into the room, all thin and waifish, looking like I stepped out of some fashion magazine, wind blowing my hair, angular and lean.... and everyone falling to their knees because I look so extraordinarily beautiful! > > I grew up lost in movies - and that was the woman's role. Be beautiful - be so beautiful you stop all of the action. Be stupid, be a victim, be gone by the end, but by all means be beautiful (i.e., thin) when you show up. Because - that's all there is. Showing up and being looked at. End of scene. > > This summer I went to a class reunion. Ran into a gf from jr. high a couple of months before the reunion was to take place. She mentioned how she was on a new weight loss plan (500 calories and hormone shots every day) and that she wanted was to lose weight for the upcoming reunion. > > The day of the reunion she showed up late; strolled in looking like she'd lost a ton of weight. But you know what? More than anything, she looked like someone with low self esteem. She was self-conscious, over-dressed and - just not comfortable in her skin. The rest of us were sitting and eating by then, while she just stood and talked to people, sort of posing this way and that. Everyone else was pretty much comfortable and unapologetic for their looks and their bodies. > > This week my biggest achievement was to find that what was most confusing me about IE was that I hadn't truly legalized food. Now... maybe it would be nice to work with what is stopping me from quitting when I'm satisfied. Or... maybe I'll cut myself some slack and work on noticing what feels best - maybe I've got a rule about how much I think I should eat and how full I should or shouldn't be. > > Maybe that's the new plan... notice what various levels of full feels like and then see where I want to go with that. I get to choose! > > That's it from me. Thanks for all of the great posts. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 What a wonderful post sanamu. You are really doing IE already. Its such an ongoing process and you are working hard at so many elements. Loved your observations - especially about how a woman's 'role' has been Hollyweird-ized into 'beautiful' (and nothing else!). That really brought a smile to me since I'm from an entirely different time where a woman's role was - housewife/mother etc. Neither role model, by itself or in disregard to one's self is satisfying! Its always been best to be what you ARE and desire to be. So much like IE really. Thanks bunches for sharing and giving me food for thought. Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > Well, it's Friday night - I'd consider this pretty much my first week of IE, even though I don't know all of the rule yet. > > Finding hunger has been a challenge this week. Two mornings I didn't eat because I wasn't hungry, ate later at work but was rushed and distracted, skipped lunch, ate a snack and then wasn't hungry at dinner so ate something later.... Those two days didn't work well at all; I didn't like my food and didn't like my meals (which were mostly eaten at my desk). And I'm not sure about expecting myself to be a very good intutive eater at work; it's somehow antithetical. > > The best thing I did was stop myself to become aware while eating and enjoyed the experience of eating with no distractions - at times. That and I stayed pretty much on task with tossing the idea of forbidden foods and even forbidden eating. > > Truth is, my clothes are already looser(!?) which has not been the goal, per se; it's to find sanity and peace around food, eating, body image, etc. Sure I want to be all the things thin represents, but I'm quickly figuring out that thin and those things were never equal. > > When I was married I tried to diet my marriage into success. I had this obsession that if only I were thin and pretty enough, our marriage would work. Crazy stuff. I thought I was so fat. And that he cared. At my thinnest, he barely noticed and cared even less. > > As much as that cost me in self esteen, even now, whenever I have some important event to go to, my first thought is what they will think of me when I show up having lost all the weight. > > I can see myself strolling into the room, all thin and waifish, looking like I stepped out of some fashion magazine, wind blowing my hair, angular and lean.... and everyone falling to their knees because I look so extraordinarily beautiful! > > I grew up lost in movies - and that was the woman's role. Be beautiful - be so beautiful you stop all of the action. Be stupid, be a victim, be gone by the end, but by all means be beautiful (i.e., thin) when you show up. Because - that's all there is. Showing up and being looked at. End of scene. > > This summer I went to a class reunion. Ran into a gf from jr. high a couple of months before the reunion was to take place. She mentioned how she was on a new weight loss plan (500 calories and hormone shots every day) and that she wanted was to lose weight for the upcoming reunion. > > The day of the reunion she showed up late; strolled in looking like she'd lost a ton of weight. But you know what? More than anything, she looked like someone with low self esteem. She was self-conscious, over-dressed and - just not comfortable in her skin. The rest of us were sitting and eating by then, while she just stood and talked to people, sort of posing this way and that. Everyone else was pretty much comfortable and unapologetic for their looks and their bodies. > > This week my biggest achievement was to find that what was most confusing me about IE was that I hadn't truly legalized food. Now... maybe it would be nice to work with what is stopping me from quitting when I'm satisfied. Or... maybe I'll cut myself some slack and work on noticing what feels best - maybe I've got a rule about how much I think I should eat and how full I should or shouldn't be. > > Maybe that's the new plan... notice what various levels of full feels like and then see where I want to go with that. I get to choose! > > That's it from me. Thanks for all of the great posts. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 13, 2011 Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 I understand, I've felt in the past that if I could be thin enough/pretty enough/successful enough, then people would love me. What I didn't realize, until a couple years later, was that true love is unconditional, true love only looks for who I am on the inside. Sounds like you're making a lot of progress on intuitive eating. Learning to recognize fullness is definitely a challenge. It's not like hunger when you can actually feel the signs--stomach growling, etc. I think that's normal though, because I remember as a child when I didn't have issues with food, I knew when I was hungry by the same signs but didn't pay attention to fullness. I just stopped when I stopped. Maybe it takes us kind of toying with it for awhile, like you said! > > Well, it's Friday night - I'd consider this pretty much my first week of IE, even though I don't know all of the rule yet. > > Finding hunger has been a challenge this week. Two mornings I didn't eat because I wasn't hungry, ate later at work but was rushed and distracted, skipped lunch, ate a snack and then wasn't hungry at dinner so ate something later.... Those two days didn't work well at all; I didn't like my food and didn't like my meals (which were mostly eaten at my desk). And I'm not sure about expecting myself to be a very good intutive eater at work; it's somehow antithetical. > > The best thing I did was stop myself to become aware while eating and enjoyed the experience of eating with no distractions - at times. That and I stayed pretty much on task with tossing the idea of forbidden foods and even forbidden eating. > > Truth is, my clothes are already looser(!?) which has not been the goal, per se; it's to find sanity and peace around food, eating, body image, etc. Sure I want to be all the things thin represents, but I'm quickly figuring out that thin and those things were never equal. > > When I was married I tried to diet my marriage into success. I had this obsession that if only I were thin and pretty enough, our marriage would work. Crazy stuff. I thought I was so fat. And that he cared. At my thinnest, he barely noticed and cared even less. > > As much as that cost me in self esteen, even now, whenever I have some important event to go to, my first thought is what they will think of me when I show up having lost all the weight. > > I can see myself strolling into the room, all thin and waifish, looking like I stepped out of some fashion magazine, wind blowing my hair, angular and lean.... and everyone falling to their knees because I look so extraordinarily beautiful! > > I grew up lost in movies - and that was the woman's role. Be beautiful - be so beautiful you stop all of the action. Be stupid, be a victim, be gone by the end, but by all means be beautiful (i.e., thin) when you show up. Because - that's all there is. Showing up and being looked at. End of scene. > > This summer I went to a class reunion. Ran into a gf from jr. high a couple of months before the reunion was to take place. She mentioned how she was on a new weight loss plan (500 calories and hormone shots every day) and that she wanted was to lose weight for the upcoming reunion. > > The day of the reunion she showed up late; strolled in looking like she'd lost a ton of weight. But you know what? More than anything, she looked like someone with low self esteem. She was self-conscious, over-dressed and - just not comfortable in her skin. The rest of us were sitting and eating by then, while she just stood and talked to people, sort of posing this way and that. Everyone else was pretty much comfortable and unapologetic for their looks and their bodies. > > This week my biggest achievement was to find that what was most confusing me about IE was that I hadn't truly legalized food. Now... maybe it would be nice to work with what is stopping me from quitting when I'm satisfied. Or... maybe I'll cut myself some slack and work on noticing what feels best - maybe I've got a rule about how much I think I should eat and how full I should or shouldn't be. > > Maybe that's the new plan... notice what various levels of full feels like and then see where I want to go with that. I get to choose! > > That's it from me. Thanks for all of the great posts. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 I'm loving this post! I was going to post something new about my recent days, etc., but this is too much fun. I am still calling myself a newcomer, and learning lots. Actually, I'm finding it more difficult to " un-learn " the old stuff than to learn the new stuff. Hunger? What the heck is that? Well, if I REALLY want to find out what hunger is, then I all I have to do is wait until my stomach growls. Ha!! How scary?!?!? Isn't this the main idea behind almost ALL diets... " so you're never hungry. " Such crapola. (Sorry if my language offends anyone.) I don't know if I will ALWAYS wait until my stomach growls, but I know that this is a good test for me. Decades of dieting and compulsive eating have caused me to loose all touch with hunger and satiety. I have a friend who says, " This is middle class America. We're not hungry. " I am reminded how selfish this " disorder " is when I think about that statement. Also, to stop eating when my hunger signs go away? Pretty challenging, but I'm learning how I always depended on some food plan or other manipulation to determine my intake. Now, listening to my body has become a fun exercise. Wow! Some of my favorite quotes from the " in sume " posts below... " ... woman's role has been Hollyweird-ized... " Hilarious!! " ...find sanity and peace around food, eating, body image, etc.... " Now, THAT is a goal!! And finally... " I can see myself strolling into the room, all thin and waifish, looking like I stepped out of some fashion magazine, wind blowing my hair, angular and lean.... and everyone falling to their knees because I look so extraordinarily beautiful! " Love it. Love it. Love it. When did thin become the equivalent of powerful??? Gee! Thanks ladies!! > > > > Well, it's Friday night - I'd consider this pretty much my first week of IE, even though I don't know all of the rule yet. > > > > Finding hunger has been a challenge this week. Two mornings I didn't eat because I wasn't hungry, ate later at work but was rushed and distracted, skipped lunch, ate a snack and then wasn't hungry at dinner so ate something later.... Those two days didn't work well at all; I didn't like my food and didn't like my meals (which were mostly eaten at my desk). And I'm not sure about expecting myself to be a very good intutive eater at work; it's somehow antithetical. > > > > The best thing I did was stop myself to become aware while eating and enjoyed the experience of eating with no distractions - at times. That and I stayed pretty much on task with tossing the idea of forbidden foods and even forbidden eating. > > > > Truth is, my clothes are already looser(!?) which has not been the goal, per se; it's to find sanity and peace around food, eating, body image, etc. Sure I want to be all the things thin represents, but I'm quickly figuring out that thin and those things were never equal. > > > > When I was married I tried to diet my marriage into success. I had this obsession that if only I were thin and pretty enough, our marriage would work. Crazy stuff. I thought I was so fat. And that he cared. At my thinnest, he barely noticed and cared even less. > > > > As much as that cost me in self esteen, even now, whenever I have some important event to go to, my first thought is what they will think of me when I show up having lost all the weight. > > > > I can see myself strolling into the room, all thin and waifish, looking like I stepped out of some fashion magazine, wind blowing my hair, angular and lean.... and everyone falling to their knees because I look so extraordinarily beautiful! > > > > I grew up lost in movies - and that was the woman's role. Be beautiful - be so beautiful you stop all of the action. Be stupid, be a victim, be gone by the end, but by all means be beautiful (i.e., thin) when you show up. Because - that's all there is. Showing up and being looked at. End of scene. > > > > This summer I went to a class reunion. Ran into a gf from jr. high a couple of months before the reunion was to take place. She mentioned how she was on a new weight loss plan (500 calories and hormone shots every day) and that she wanted was to lose weight for the upcoming reunion. > > > > The day of the reunion she showed up late; strolled in looking like she'd lost a ton of weight. But you know what? More than anything, she looked like someone with low self esteem. She was self-conscious, over-dressed and - just not comfortable in her skin. The rest of us were sitting and eating by then, while she just stood and talked to people, sort of posing this way and that. Everyone else was pretty much comfortable and unapologetic for their looks and their bodies. > > > > This week my biggest achievement was to find that what was most confusing me about IE was that I hadn't truly legalized food. Now... maybe it would be nice to work with what is stopping me from quitting when I'm satisfied. Or... maybe I'll cut myself some slack and work on noticing what feels best - maybe I've got a rule about how much I think I should eat and how full I should or shouldn't be. > > > > Maybe that's the new plan... notice what various levels of full feels like and then see where I want to go with that. I get to choose! > > > > That's it from me. Thanks for all of the great posts. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 I'm loving this post! I was going to post something new about my recent days, etc., but this is too much fun. I am still calling myself a newcomer, and learning lots. Actually, I'm finding it more difficult to " un-learn " the old stuff than to learn the new stuff. Hunger? What the heck is that? Well, if I REALLY want to find out what hunger is, then I all I have to do is wait until my stomach growls. Ha!! How scary?!?!? Isn't this the main idea behind almost ALL diets... " so you're never hungry. " Such crapola. (Sorry if my language offends anyone.) I don't know if I will ALWAYS wait until my stomach growls, but I know that this is a good test for me. Decades of dieting and compulsive eating have caused me to loose all touch with hunger and satiety. I have a friend who says, " This is middle class America. We're not hungry. " I am reminded how selfish this " disorder " is when I think about that statement. Also, to stop eating when my hunger signs go away? Pretty challenging, but I'm learning how I always depended on some food plan or other manipulation to determine my intake. Now, listening to my body has become a fun exercise. Wow! Some of my favorite quotes from the " in sume " posts below... " ... woman's role has been Hollyweird-ized... " Hilarious!! " ...find sanity and peace around food, eating, body image, etc.... " Now, THAT is a goal!! And finally... " I can see myself strolling into the room, all thin and waifish, looking like I stepped out of some fashion magazine, wind blowing my hair, angular and lean.... and everyone falling to their knees because I look so extraordinarily beautiful! " Love it. Love it. Love it. When did thin become the equivalent of powerful??? Gee! Thanks ladies!! > > > > Well, it's Friday night - I'd consider this pretty much my first week of IE, even though I don't know all of the rule yet. > > > > Finding hunger has been a challenge this week. Two mornings I didn't eat because I wasn't hungry, ate later at work but was rushed and distracted, skipped lunch, ate a snack and then wasn't hungry at dinner so ate something later.... Those two days didn't work well at all; I didn't like my food and didn't like my meals (which were mostly eaten at my desk). And I'm not sure about expecting myself to be a very good intutive eater at work; it's somehow antithetical. > > > > The best thing I did was stop myself to become aware while eating and enjoyed the experience of eating with no distractions - at times. That and I stayed pretty much on task with tossing the idea of forbidden foods and even forbidden eating. > > > > Truth is, my clothes are already looser(!?) which has not been the goal, per se; it's to find sanity and peace around food, eating, body image, etc. Sure I want to be all the things thin represents, but I'm quickly figuring out that thin and those things were never equal. > > > > When I was married I tried to diet my marriage into success. I had this obsession that if only I were thin and pretty enough, our marriage would work. Crazy stuff. I thought I was so fat. And that he cared. At my thinnest, he barely noticed and cared even less. > > > > As much as that cost me in self esteen, even now, whenever I have some important event to go to, my first thought is what they will think of me when I show up having lost all the weight. > > > > I can see myself strolling into the room, all thin and waifish, looking like I stepped out of some fashion magazine, wind blowing my hair, angular and lean.... and everyone falling to their knees because I look so extraordinarily beautiful! > > > > I grew up lost in movies - and that was the woman's role. Be beautiful - be so beautiful you stop all of the action. Be stupid, be a victim, be gone by the end, but by all means be beautiful (i.e., thin) when you show up. Because - that's all there is. Showing up and being looked at. End of scene. > > > > This summer I went to a class reunion. Ran into a gf from jr. high a couple of months before the reunion was to take place. She mentioned how she was on a new weight loss plan (500 calories and hormone shots every day) and that she wanted was to lose weight for the upcoming reunion. > > > > The day of the reunion she showed up late; strolled in looking like she'd lost a ton of weight. But you know what? More than anything, she looked like someone with low self esteem. She was self-conscious, over-dressed and - just not comfortable in her skin. The rest of us were sitting and eating by then, while she just stood and talked to people, sort of posing this way and that. Everyone else was pretty much comfortable and unapologetic for their looks and their bodies. > > > > This week my biggest achievement was to find that what was most confusing me about IE was that I hadn't truly legalized food. Now... maybe it would be nice to work with what is stopping me from quitting when I'm satisfied. Or... maybe I'll cut myself some slack and work on noticing what feels best - maybe I've got a rule about how much I think I should eat and how full I should or shouldn't be. > > > > Maybe that's the new plan... notice what various levels of full feels like and then see where I want to go with that. I get to choose! > > > > That's it from me. Thanks for all of the great posts. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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