Re: How Do You Answer Nada When She Accuses You Outright of Something You Didn't Do

[Guest guest]

PBF, I call this method 'selective agreement' I learned this strategy while

working for a bank and dealing with angry customers.

Your example:

(The statement from the BPD was)

" I was abused as a child, physically and sexually " and I said something, " We

need more God in this world, yes indeed. " )I've done it recently and the BPD/NPD

lost interest in me.

How clever of you, bravo! I use this also, another example would be BPD: You

never listen to me!!

KO: I agree totally that listening carefully is very important.

This is a great way to NOT go along iwth exactly what the BPD is saying, but to

deflect, or diffuse their anger by agreeing (albeit selectively) with some piece

of their statement. It confuses them slightly I think, gives the KO the upper

hand which is oh so hard to do in Oz.

An awesome tool really.

Another example:

BPD: You're a liar!

KO: I think honesty is necessary too, always.

[Guest guest]

Awesome deflecting techniques, guys! I like these! Its... subtle.

And I like the term " selective agreement " . Works for me!

-Annie

>

> PBF, I call this method 'selective agreement' I learned this strategy while

working for a bank and dealing with angry customers.

>

> Your example:

> (The statement from the BPD was)

> " I was abused as a child, physically and sexually " and I said something, " We

> need more God in this world, yes indeed. " )I've done it recently and the

BPD/NPD

> lost interest in me.

>

> How clever of you, bravo! I use this also, another example would be BPD: You

never listen to me!!

> KO: I agree totally that listening carefully is very important.

>

> This is a great way to NOT go along iwth exactly what the BPD is saying, but

to deflect, or diffuse their anger by agreeing (albeit selectively) with some

piece of their statement. It confuses them slightly I think, gives the KO the

upper hand which is oh so hard to do in Oz.

>

> An awesome tool really.

>

> Another example:

>

> BPD: You're a liar!

> KO: I think honesty is necessary too, always.

>