Re: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

[Guest guest]

Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of food at the time and she

was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future, too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me, even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to those conversing. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PMSubject: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying "Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food." I've looked at that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a graceful exit.

I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call "Christian guilt," like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and to tell me when to stop eating.

I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, "That would never work for me!" or "I'm ALWAYS hungry!" and the basic unspoken attitude is, "That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to lose weight."

Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle it?

Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of self-control/restriction.

And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings, and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of food at the time and she

was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future, too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me, even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to those conversing. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PMSubject: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying "Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food." I've looked at that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a graceful exit.

I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call "Christian guilt," like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and to tell me when to stop eating.

I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, "That would never work for me!" or "I'm ALWAYS hungry!" and the basic unspoken attitude is, "That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to lose weight."

Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle it?

Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of self-control/restriction.

And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings, and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Jane,Wow, that sounds TOUGH.But I'm impressed you are staying strong within yourself. that's great! and must take real determination.I am not a member of a religious group, but certainly I can relate to those comments of " that would never work for me! " or " I am always hungry " or " I would be eating all the time! "

These comments can be frustrating and also make me feel isolated. I just try not to talk about the way I want to eat unless people show interest. But it's hard.

best,Abby

 

Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of food at the time and she

was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future, too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me, even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to those conversing. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PMSubject: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

 

This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying " Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food. " I've looked at that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a graceful exit.

I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call " Christian guilt, " like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and to tell me when to stop eating.

I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, " That would never work for me! " or " I'm ALWAYS hungry! " and the basic unspoken attitude is, " That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to lose weight. "

Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle it?

Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of self-control/restriction.

And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings, and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Jane,Wow, that sounds TOUGH.But I'm impressed you are staying strong within yourself. that's great! and must take real determination.I am not a member of a religious group, but certainly I can relate to those comments of " that would never work for me! " or " I am always hungry " or " I would be eating all the time! "

These comments can be frustrating and also make me feel isolated. I just try not to talk about the way I want to eat unless people show interest. But it's hard.

best,Abby

 

Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of food at the time and she

was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future, too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me, even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to those conversing. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PMSubject: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

 

This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying " Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food. " I've looked at that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a graceful exit.

I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call " Christian guilt, " like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and to tell me when to stop eating.

I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, " That would never work for me! " or " I'm ALWAYS hungry! " and the basic unspoken attitude is, " That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to lose weight. "

Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle it?

Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of self-control/restriction.

And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings, and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Jane, I have to agree somewhat.  I find it really isn't a good idea to try to explain IE to anyone.  Most just don't get it and might undermine my own journey with their comments.     Sandy

 

Jane,Wow, that sounds TOUGH.But I'm impressed you are staying strong within yourself. that's great! and must take real determination.

I am not a member of a religious group, but certainly I can relate to those comments of " that would never work for me! " or " I am always hungry " or " I would be eating all the time! "

These comments can be frustrating and also make me feel isolated. I just try not to talk about the way I want to eat unless people show interest. But it's hard.

best,Abby

 

Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of food at the time and she

was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future, too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me, even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to those conversing. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PMSubject: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

 

This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying " Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food. " I've looked at that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a graceful exit.

I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call " Christian guilt, " like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and to tell me when to stop eating.

I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, " That would never work for me! " or " I'm ALWAYS hungry! " and the basic unspoken attitude is, " That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to lose weight. "

Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle it?

Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of self-control/restriction.

And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings, and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Jane, I have to agree somewhat.  I find it really isn't a good idea to try to explain IE to anyone.  Most just don't get it and might undermine my own journey with their comments.     Sandy

 

Jane,Wow, that sounds TOUGH.But I'm impressed you are staying strong within yourself. that's great! and must take real determination.

I am not a member of a religious group, but certainly I can relate to those comments of " that would never work for me! " or " I am always hungry " or " I would be eating all the time! "

These comments can be frustrating and also make me feel isolated. I just try not to talk about the way I want to eat unless people show interest. But it's hard.

best,Abby

 

Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of food at the time and she

was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future, too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me, even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to those conversing. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PMSubject: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

 

This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying " Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food. " I've looked at that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a graceful exit.

I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call " Christian guilt, " like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and to tell me when to stop eating.

I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, " That would never work for me! " or " I'm ALWAYS hungry! " and the basic unspoken attitude is, " That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to lose weight. "

Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle it?

Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of self-control/restriction.

And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings, and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Jane, the board has helped me tremendously. I don't feel lonely about this but as Abby and others implied, not all will appreciate this new way of life or thinking. If diets worked, we'd all be on one, wouldn't we? I mean why wouldn't we? if they worked. I really appreciate all the upbuilding comments, questions, and statements of trials and successes that we are having. And I would feel a little less happy I suppose if this board were not existing. When I socialize, though, I invite friends over, etc. and I no longer worry about the food. Or I could "go out" for a cup of coffee or dinner with friends, but not all have the money or desire to eat out. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, August 14, 2011 10:20 PMSubject: Re: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

Jane,Wow, that sounds TOUGH.But I'm impressed you are staying strong within yourself. that's great! and must take real determination.I am not a member of a religious group, but certainly I can relate to those comments of "that would never work for me!" or "I am always hungry" or "I would be eating all the time!"

These comments can be frustrating and also make me feel isolated. I just try not to talk about the way I want to eat unless people show interest. But it's hard.

best,Abby

Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of food at the time and she

was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future, too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me, even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to those conversing. Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PMSubject: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying "Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food." I've looked at that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a graceful exit.

I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call "Christian guilt," like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and to tell me when to stop eating.

I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, "That would never work for me!" or "I'm ALWAYS hungry!" and the basic unspoken attitude is, "That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to lose weight."

Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle it?

Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of self-control/restriction.

And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings, and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Abby,

I've been thinking that maybe I should just assume people aren't interested in

my issues because of IE, even when it seems in context to me. For example,

today when the leader of a small group for families said they aren't doing

potlucks each week and was that okay with us, I said that since I'm only eating

when I'm hungry, I'm really glad they weren't. She just laughed, like I'd said

the most ridiculous thing, and stated, " I'm always hungry! " I told her I was

actually surprised at how little I was actually hungry, since I defined that as

when my stomach growled. But I don't think she was interested. And you know,

I'm sick of hearing about other people's diets, so I think I should pay them the

same consideration and spare folks the details, unless someone asks me directly.

Thanks, Abby.

Jane

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and

> > feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it

> > sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some

> > people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously

> > based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at

> > these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O

> > is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher

> > power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced

> > to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a

> > good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply

> > interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of

> > food at the time and she was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even

> > though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting

> > and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good

> > time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her

> > weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said

> > yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this

> > interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future,

> > too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me,

> > even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make

> > junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being

> > overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to

> > those conversing. Tai

> >

> > ------------------------------

> > *From:* hatslady1

> > *To:* IntuitiveEating_Support

> > *Sent:* Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PM

> > *Subject:* An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning:

> > My Religious Conflict Discussed)

> >

> >

> > This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying " Made

> > to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food. " I've looked at

> > that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat

> > people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and

> > exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

> >

> > The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a

> > significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask

> > whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would

> > be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a

> > graceful exit.

> >

> > I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not

> > joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my

> > lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

> >

> > Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to

> > control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the

> > obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to

> > fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin

> > issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a

> > disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt

> > just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I

> > have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So

> > programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call " Christian guilt, "

> > like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the

> > revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

> >

> > Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been

> > given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat

> > appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped

> > inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my

> > early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I

> > am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and

> > to tell me when to stop eating.

> >

> > I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any

> > approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has

> > fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of

> > absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, " That

> > would never work for me! " or " I'm ALWAYS hungry! " and the basic unspoken

> > attitude is, " That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to

> > lose weight. "

> >

> > Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle

> > it?

> >

> > Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different

> > perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced

> > the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great

> > support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I

> > am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of

> > self-control/restriction.

> >

> > And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am

> > uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings,

> > and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw

> > discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

> >

> > Jane

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Jane, I have a question. This one who said she's always hungry, is she thin? Not that that's the goal, but I wouldn't want to always be hungry, would you? But anyway, I'm curious. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Monday, August 15, 2011 1:32 AMSubject: Re: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My

Religious Conflict Discussed)

Abby,

I've been thinking that maybe I should just assume people aren't interested in my issues because of IE, even when it seems in context to me. For example, today when the leader of a small group for families said they aren't doing potlucks each week and was that okay with us, I said that since I'm only eating when I'm hungry, I'm really glad they weren't. She just laughed, like I'd said the most ridiculous thing, and stated, "I'm always hungry!" I told her I was actually surprised at how little I was actually hungry, since I defined that as when my stomach growled. But I don't think she was interested. And you know, I'm sick of hearing about other people's diets, so I think I should pay them the same consideration and spare folks the details, unless someone asks me directly. Thanks, Abby.

Jane

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and

> > feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it

> > sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some

> > people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously

> > based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at

> > these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O

> > is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher

> > power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced

> > to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a

> > good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply

> > interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of

> > food at the time and she was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even

> > though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting

> > and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good

> > time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her

> > weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said

> > yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this

> > interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future,

> > too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me,

> > even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make

> > junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being

> > overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to

> > those conversing. Tai

> >

> > ------------------------------

> > *From:* hatslady1

> > *To:* IntuitiveEating_Support

> > *Sent:* Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PM

> > *Subject:* An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning:

> > My Religious Conflict Discussed)

> >

> >

> > This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying "Made

> > to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food." I've looked at

> > that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat

> > people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and

> > exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

> >

> > The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a

> > significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask

> > whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would

> > be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a

> > graceful exit.

> >

> > I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not

> > joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my

> > lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

> >

> > Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to

> > control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the

> > obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to

> > fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin

> > issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a

> > disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt

> > just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I

> > have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So

> > programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call "Christian guilt,"

> > like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the

> > revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

> >

> > Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been

> > given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat

> > appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped

> > inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my

> > early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I

> > am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and

> > to tell me when to stop eating.

> >

> > I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any

> > approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has

> > fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of

> > absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, "That

> > would never work for me!" or "I'm ALWAYS hungry!" and the basic unspoken

> > attitude is, "That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to

> > lose weight."

> >

> > Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle

> > it?

> >

> > Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different

> > perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced

> > the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great

> > support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I

> > am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of

> > self-control/restriction.

> >

> > And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am

> > uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings,

> > and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw

> > discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

> >

> > Jane

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Jane, I have a question. This one who said she's always hungry, is she thin? Not that that's the goal, but I wouldn't want to always be hungry, would you? But anyway, I'm curious. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Monday, August 15, 2011 1:32 AMSubject: Re: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My

Religious Conflict Discussed)

Abby,

I've been thinking that maybe I should just assume people aren't interested in my issues because of IE, even when it seems in context to me. For example, today when the leader of a small group for families said they aren't doing potlucks each week and was that okay with us, I said that since I'm only eating when I'm hungry, I'm really glad they weren't. She just laughed, like I'd said the most ridiculous thing, and stated, "I'm always hungry!" I told her I was actually surprised at how little I was actually hungry, since I defined that as when my stomach growled. But I don't think she was interested. And you know, I'm sick of hearing about other people's diets, so I think I should pay them the same consideration and spare folks the details, unless someone asks me directly. Thanks, Abby.

Jane

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and

> > feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it

> > sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some

> > people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously

> > based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at

> > these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O

> > is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher

> > power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced

> > to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a

> > good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply

> > interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of

> > food at the time and she was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even

> > though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting

> > and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good

> > time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her

> > weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said

> > yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this

> > interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future,

> > too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me,

> > even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make

> > junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being

> > overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to

> > those conversing. Tai

> >

> > ------------------------------

> > *From:* hatslady1

> > *To:* IntuitiveEating_Support

> > *Sent:* Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PM

> > *Subject:* An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning:

> > My Religious Conflict Discussed)

> >

> >

> > This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying "Made

> > to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food." I've looked at

> > that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat

> > people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and

> > exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

> >

> > The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a

> > significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask

> > whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would

> > be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a

> > graceful exit.

> >

> > I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not

> > joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my

> > lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

> >

> > Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to

> > control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the

> > obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to

> > fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin

> > issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a

> > disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt

> > just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I

> > have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So

> > programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call "Christian guilt,"

> > like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the

> > revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

> >

> > Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been

> > given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat

> > appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped

> > inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my

> > early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I

> > am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and

> > to tell me when to stop eating.

> >

> > I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any

> > approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has

> > fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of

> > absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, "That

> > would never work for me!" or "I'm ALWAYS hungry!" and the basic unspoken

> > attitude is, "That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to

> > lose weight."

> >

> > Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle

> > it?

> >

> > Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different

> > perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced

> > the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great

> > support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I

> > am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of

> > self-control/restriction.

> >

> > And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am

> > uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings,

> > and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw

> > discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

> >

> > Jane

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Tai,

Nope, the lady who said, " I'm ALWAYS hungry! " is a bit overweight and often

dieting and naturally, gradually getting more overweight as the years go by.

But I think what she meant by that was that she often wants to eat, not that her

stomach growls all the time.

Jane

> >

> > > **

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and

> > > feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it

> > > sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some

> > > people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously

> > > based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at

> > > these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O

> > > is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher

> > > power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced

> > > to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a

> > > good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply

> > > interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of

> > > food at the time and she was on a diet and didn't want to face the food

even

> > > though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very

interesting

> > > and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good

> > > time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her

> > > weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said

> > > yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this

> > > interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future,

> > > too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for

me,

> > > even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make

> > > junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being

> > > overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to

> > > those conversing. Tai

> > >

> > > ------------------------------

> > > *From:* hatslady1 <jerryjane@>

> > > *To:* IntuitiveEating_Support

> > > *Sent:* Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PM

> > > *Subject:* An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning:

> > > My Religious Conflict Discussed)

> > >

> > >

> > > This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying " Made

> > > to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food. " I've looked

at

> > > that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat

> > > people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet

and

> > > exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

> > >

> > > The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a

> > > significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask

> > > whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they

would

> > > be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a

> > > graceful exit.

> > >

> > > I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not

> > > joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my

> > > lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

> > >

> > > Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to

> > > control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse

the

> > > obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to

> > > fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a

sin

> > > issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a

> > > disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt

> > > just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed.

I

> > > have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So

> > > programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call " Christian guilt, "

> > > like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the

> > > revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

> > >

> > > Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been

> > > given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to

eat

> > > appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped

> > > inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my

> > > early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me.

I

> > > am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table

and

> > > to tell me when to stop eating.

> > >

> > > I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any

> > > approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has

> > > fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction

of

> > > absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, " That

> > > would never work for me! " or " I'm ALWAYS hungry! " and the basic unspoken

> > > attitude is, " That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise

to

> > > lose weight. "

> > >

> > > Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle

> > > it?

> > >

> > > Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different

> > > perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has

experienced

> > > the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great

> > > support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey,

I

> > > am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of

> > > self-control/restriction.

> > >

> > > And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am

> > > uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings,

> > > and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw

> > > discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

> > >

> > > Jane

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Jane, thanks for answering about that. We know now that a constant complaint that someone is always hungry is not a good one! I'd hate to always be hungry! I'm satisfied with a little hunger nudging me to eat. TaiTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Monday, August 15, 2011 10:45 PMSubject: Re: An Unexpected

Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

Tai,

Nope, the lady who said, "I'm ALWAYS hungry!" is a bit overweight and often dieting and naturally, gradually getting more overweight as the years go by. But I think what she meant by that was that she often wants to eat, not that her stomach growls all the time.

Jane

> >

> > > **

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi, hatslady. I have glanced through many religiously based diet books and

> > > feel as you do. Some love the 'clean diet' approach and technically it

> > > sounds wonderful, but hard for me to apply. Sounds great, though. Some

> > > people can literally stay on any diet, it doesn't have to be religiously

> > > based, although I believe in God and the power of prayer, yet looking at

> > > these diet books I realize they're just another diet. You could say that O

> > > is a religiously based group, which it is, since one must admit a higher

> > > power. Today at my religious meeting I met a young lady who was introduced

> > > to me after the meeting and she was told by her relative that she missed a

> > > good social event where I was at and she missed a good time. Her reply

> > > interested me. She said that she knew it would present her with a lot of

> > > food at the time and she was on a diet and didn't want to face the food even

> > > though the association would be wonderful. :-) I found this very interesting

> > > and supported her (somewhat half-heartedly because we really had a good

> > > time) and I understood what she meant. I asked her if she was keeping her

> > > weight down and spoke to her about my constant battle with food. She said

> > > yes, she was keeping her weight down. She is thin. I really found this

> > > interesting and who knows? maybe I'll avoid such gatherings in the future,

> > > too, if I think they'll be a threat to me. :-) No, diets don't work for me,

> > > even those that claim God is involved, yes the thought that He didn't make

> > > junk appeals to me, but so does junk from time to time. I don't like being

> > > overweight, and I believe IE is excellent approach, I even mentioned it to

> > > those conversing. Tai

> > >

> > > ------------------------------

> > > *From:* hatslady1 <jerryjane@>

> > > *To:* IntuitiveEating_Support

> > > *Sent:* Sunday, August 14, 2011 6:30 PM

> > > *Subject:* An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning:

> > > My Religious Conflict Discussed)

> > >

> > >

> > > This morning at church, a new small group was announced for studying "Made

> > > to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food." I've looked at

> > > that book, and it's another of those which lay Christian guilt onto fat

> > > people for the sin of gluttony. It encourages us to shape up by the diet and

> > > exercise programs of our choice, asking for God's help.

> > >

> > > The group leader is a dear friend of mine (who has been dieting off a

> > > significant amount of weight) and she came over to me, probably to ask

> > > whether I'd be joining. Two acquaintance friends came too, to say they would

> > > be part of it. I was glad to be pulled away by kid issues and made a

> > > graceful exit.

> > >

> > > I felt SO SAD. I was stunned to recognize that I feel real loss over not

> > > joining, when my church FINALLY has something intended to address my

> > > lifelong problem. I feel left out, wanting that fellowship time.

> > >

> > > Yet I KNOW that guilt is actually a negative and that the more I TRY to

> > > control myself, the worse the compulsion. The more diet talk, the worse the

> > > obsession with food. And while I believe the Lord can give me strength to

> > > fight temptations to sin, I have not found that treating overeating as a sin

> > > issue was at all helpful in the past, any more than treating it as a

> > > disease/addiction (2 years in Overeaters Anonymous). The religious guilt

> > > just made me feel crummy about myself, which was the last thing I needed. I

> > > have to feel positively about myself in order to take care of myself. So

> > > programs which attempt to combine IE with what I'd call "Christian guilt,"

> > > like Weigh Down Workshop (I spent 15 months on that) and Thin Within (the

> > > revised version added Christianity) simply haven't been helpful to me.

> > >

> > > Instead, I'm coming to see that God doesn't make junk and that I have been

> > > given, right in my body, which He created, everything I need in order to eat

> > > appropriately for its need. I'm sure He didn't intend for me to be trapped

> > > inside a morbidly obese body which cannot do so much I need to. Yet in my

> > > early childhood, I lost any sense of the internal body signals He gave me. I

> > > am learning, all over again, to wait for my body to call me to the table and

> > > to tell me when to stop eating.

> > >

> > > I am making more progress this time with IE than I ever have with any

> > > approach before, and yet, except for this group and my husband (who has

> > > fully supported everything I've tried), I am alone. The standard reaction of

> > > absolutely EVERYONE I've mentioned it to has been a variation of, "That

> > > would never work for me!" or "I'm ALWAYS hungry!" and the basic unspoken

> > > attitude is, "That's crazy! Everyone knows you have to diet and exercise to

> > > lose weight."

> > >

> > > Do others of you feel alone and lonely in this? If so, how do you handle

> > > it?

> > >

> > > Also, I appreciate that this group has members from all different

> > > perspectives on faith, but I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced

> > > the conflict I am feeling? Normally, my Christian church family is a great

> > > support and encouragement in all areas of my life. Yet, in my IE journey, I

> > > am alone there, as far as I know, and am swimming against the tide of

> > > self-control/restriction.

> > >

> > > And at church, where much of our family socializing is based, I am

> > > uncomfortable with the potlucks which are part of many of the gatherings,

> > > and for which I am not necessarily hungry and yet don't want to draw

> > > discussion by sitting with people and not eating.

> > >

> > > Jane

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Jane,

I have found that if I go to gatherings with food and am not hungry I just say that. I think it is a learned behavior but you can do it. No one ever questions thin people that are not hungry. 

As far as the church program goes, I have the Made to Crave book. I never finished it. I don't believe that we are meant to be punished for overeating and that we need to restrict everything. I think God put food here to fuel our bodies and our senses. However, we were not meant to be overweight. The Bible says, " my food is to do the will of the Father. " I recently tried Weigh Down. I think it is great. Email me if you have questions. I am going to be signing up for a more advanced class with them as I want to get into the spiritual end more.

I wish you luck and keep coming here for support.

[Guest guest]

Jane,

I have found that if I go to gatherings with food and am not hungry I just say that. I think it is a learned behavior but you can do it. No one ever questions thin people that are not hungry. 

As far as the church program goes, I have the Made to Crave book. I never finished it. I don't believe that we are meant to be punished for overeating and that we need to restrict everything. I think God put food here to fuel our bodies and our senses. However, we were not meant to be overweight. The Bible says, " my food is to do the will of the Father. " I recently tried Weigh Down. I think it is great. Email me if you have questions. I am going to be signing up for a more advanced class with them as I want to get into the spiritual end more.

I wish you luck and keep coming here for support.

[Guest guest]

Jane,

I have found that if I go to gatherings with food and am not hungry I just say that. I think it is a learned behavior but you can do it. No one ever questions thin people that are not hungry. 

As far as the church program goes, I have the Made to Crave book. I never finished it. I don't believe that we are meant to be punished for overeating and that we need to restrict everything. I think God put food here to fuel our bodies and our senses. However, we were not meant to be overweight. The Bible says, " my food is to do the will of the Father. " I recently tried Weigh Down. I think it is great. Email me if you have questions. I am going to be signing up for a more advanced class with them as I want to get into the spiritual end more.

I wish you luck and keep coming here for support.

[Guest guest]

I want to eat when I recognize I need to, i.e., when I'm hungry physically. :-) It's a hard one for me, I am working on it. Take care, Tai

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 10:09 AMSubject: Re: An Unexpected Sense of Loss (Warning: My Religious Conflict Discussed)

Jane,

I have found that if I go to gatherings with food and am not hungry I just say that. I think it is a learned behavior but you can do it. No one ever questions thin people that are not hungry.

As far as the church program goes, I have the Made to Crave book. I never finished it. I don't believe that we are meant to be punished for overeating and that we need to restrict everything. I think God put food here to fuel our bodies and our senses. However, we were not meant to be overweight. The Bible says, "my food is to do the will of the Father." I recently tried Weigh Down. I think it is great. Email me if you have questions. I am going to be signing up for a more advanced class with them as I want to get into the spiritual end more.

I wish you luck and keep coming here for support.