Guest guest Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Agree - a gift from heaven!! Thank you so much - without your support it would be a lot heavier. When I was driving there I imagined that you are all with me whispering ( don't fall into trap, you can do it, you are not a bad one.....:-))) > > > > > > > > I made some new boundaries. Told nada that I will call only once a week and that I would not answer a telephone even if it is urgent because she took advantage of my concern. . First she tried to get (her usual) attention from some other people ( NGO group who helps mental ill people) but they are fed up with her manipulations and lies too and they don't want to talk to her 100 times a day. She than refused to get professional help and even lied to me that her psychiatrist said to her it is useless to have so much sessions ( once a week) She called me this morning (today is a day for our call) and told me she would make a suicide. With a voice of little " poor " stubborn child. I was worried a little but I responded very calm. I told her that it is her own life and her own decisions, I can not help her the way she is demaning from me, I'm living in other city and I'm not a professional mental health doctor to know how. The only thing I can do is to call an ambulance. > > > > > > > > She (seemly) agreed and I called an ambulance and now I'm waiting what will happened, if she will allows them into the house or if she really goes to hospital. You can never know what is truth with her - she might really took the pills or she might just bluffing. This is her first thread of making suicide. > > > > > > > > And I decided I won't go to the hospital today ( if she would really goes there) but tomorrow. I don't want her to think that this is working - if she would threat with suicide she would get my attention and I would come. I found out if I don't respond on her manipulation the first time she try with some form of it than she stops ...and start searching for other ones who might work out for her. I'm so sick with being all the time on alert from where it will hit... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yenaine > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Isnt your nada great to have pulled such a stunt that leaves you free to go enjoy your holidays without worrying about her? You get to have your holidays guilt-free!! She has her admirers, health care, etc - you get to go do whatever you like and have the time of your life without her around!! Crack a bottle of champers, deck the halls and turn up the stereo! Woo hoo! Have a fabulous christmas hun! > > Today i have been in hospital to see my nada after her " suicide " . First I had been talking to her doctor. I was so afraid that I would find somebody who don't know nothing about or don't " believe " in BPD. He was GREAT!!! I take all my " bad " words about horrible psychiatrists in my country back..:-)) He said that he would observe nada for few more days to make final conclusion and the BPD could be so mixed with some others illness or problems that he would try to deal with symptoms not etiquette's. But the best part is that he recognized all nada tricks. I have told him about her behavior at home and he have told me how she cope at hospital. We finished each other sentences sometimes knowing what would be the next word :-)) ( or nada reaction) A big relief for me. > > Then I went to her. At first she acted like she is totally under the pills hardly walking and she observed me how I would react. I was calm , polite and on distance all the time. I manage somehow not to fell in any of her tricks. Then she has become quite normal so we could have had quite normal conversation ( she even forget to play poor stoned patient) . She get bored quick and when she started with where I should buried her I firmly said that I don't want to talk about that and that I should go. And I left. Bravo me!!! :-)) > > The doctor have said that it is ok that she has came in hospital because she is in bad condition. ( she didn't take her medicine, she has anxiety attacks, psychotic episodes, paranoid thoughts after a long time...) and that she would probably stay there for month or two to stabilize. I agree because 10 year ago she had been in the same hospital (once) and after that she was much better for a few years. > > He also told me that they have a lot of " problems " with her ( but he was smiling . that was after I told him what kind of prolems I had with her) . At the beginning she wanted do take over all department. She started with her usual " poor me " victim role trying to manipulate everybody ( patients, doctors, nurse, clining woman probalby...:-)) to behave like she wanted them to behave. When she figured out that it won't work ( at least not with doctors) she pretended to have big medical problems or she pretended that she is colapsing or....when this didn't work too she lessened a bit and slowly started to accept the rules of the apartment ( at least a little part of it for now) From past experiences she will soon start to enyoj and became a Queen of the hospital...:-)) > > She allready have her own " unit " of people who serve her and belive anything she tells...I can see this in their eyes - they looked at me like I'm Satan....and one woman came to me and said to me few times : Your mother is very very sad " staring at me like she woul want me to addmit that I'm a bad person who don't help her poor mother like she deserved. But I don't care. As long I have good doctor on my side that doesn't matter. I calmy told her that I know that that she is said because I know my mother all my live and than she angrilly went away. > > So all together went very well . My mother will be in hospital for holidays ( HURA!!!!) she would probaly sooner or latter enjoyed it because she is surrended with people ( who would be probably soon her devoted admirers) , because of proper health care she would be probably much better when she'll come out. I managed to stick to my boundaries and I'll have happy and easy hollidays one more time!!!! (HURA again!!!) > > Thanks for your support ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 We're standing right behind you with pompoms and rahrah skirts!! (plus a BB gun aimed at your mothers backside). > > Agree - a gift from heaven!! > Thank you so much - without your support it would be a lot heavier. When I was driving there I imagined that you are all with me whispering ( don't fall into trap, you can do it, you are not a bad one.....:-))) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2010 Report Share Posted December 7, 2010 Hi there Yenaine! I am SO glad to hear how well you handled this problem with your nada. What a difficult situation! You are not the bad one; you are good and sweet and kind. Never believe those bad things about yourself. I am so impressed with your work and the kindergarten you made and the way you help others. Remember, you are still good even if no one else seems to see your side of things. Even if everyone believed your nada, that still would not make her right. It's like if everyone around you said the sky is green, not blue. Guess what? It's still blue, because that is THE TRUTH. +Coal Miner's Daughter > > Agree - a gift from heaven!! > Thank you so much - without your support it would be a lot heavier. When I was driving there I imagined that you are all with me whispering ( don't fall into trap, you can do it, you are not a bad one.....:-))) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2010 Report Share Posted December 7, 2010 Hi there Yenaine! I am SO glad to hear how well you handled this problem with your nada. What a difficult situation! You are not the bad one; you are good and sweet and kind. Never believe those bad things about yourself. I am so impressed with your work and the kindergarten you made and the way you help others. Remember, you are still good even if no one else seems to see your side of things. Even if everyone believed your nada, that still would not make her right. It's like if everyone around you said the sky is green, not blue. Guess what? It's still blue, because that is THE TRUTH. +Coal Miner's Daughter > > Agree - a gift from heaven!! > Thank you so much - without your support it would be a lot heavier. When I was driving there I imagined that you are all with me whispering ( don't fall into trap, you can do it, you are not a bad one.....:-))) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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