Re: What was your final straw?

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawsonjade, and what a good question! Thanks for asking, because it prompts

me to remember the good, good reason I went NC. Nada always used my Brudda

(brother) to administer corporal punishment to me (I was 5 years younger) and

that kept me silent and pliant, while Nada remained blameless. Great ploy, huh?!

Anyway, Brudda went so far with his punching, pinching and humiliation of me

that he almost killed me couple of times. I narrowly avoided breaking my neck

being pushed down the basement stairs, he attempted to drown me by holding my

head underwater in a plastic pool, and walked away when I had fallen from a

chair in the livingroom and laid, partially paralyzed, on the floor. When I

turned 15, Brudda delivered his last punch to my body. I believe my puberty was

his turning point. He could no longer beat me with a clear conscience. So I

diminished these murder attempts as I grew older, but I was always amazingly

fearful whenever I visited my parents and had panic attacks etc. Anyway all that

submerged memory came raging to the forefront of my conscious the day Nada flew

into a violent rage on the phone about 6 years ago.

I had asked Nada politely to let me finish my sentence (we were on the phone.)

Nada is a compulsive talker and I always had to fight to get a word in edgewise.

On that day, my Brudda was in the room during the call, and suddenly Nada threw

the phone down (I was on the other end) and began throwing chairs around and

slamming cupboard doors in a fury. I hung up the phone and was seized with panic

that would not subside. In a couple of days I went to a therapist, shaking,

crying, absolutely in a terror--and we " decoded " that my subconscious believed

that Nada was giving my Brudda a " signal " to start beating and physically

punishing me again to " keep me in line. "

Not only do I believe my subconscious was correct, but I finally faced up to how

dangerous my family was, not just mentally, but physically too. It took me six

months, but I " disappeared " with the help of friends. All my business, as well

as personal, is conducted completely " off the radar. I am untraceable, at least

as far as their puny efforts go, and they're to cheap to hire professionals to

find me!

I'm finally safe and happier every day. This was the least painful Christmas

I've ever had, and I mean pain-FREE, thank God.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

AFB

> >

> > Hello all, I just wanted to pose a question to you.

> >

> > For those of you who are NC with your nadas, what was your final straw?

What was the deciding factor for why you have NC? How have you felt since then?

> >

> > Those of you who are LC with your nadas, what are your feelings? Are you

planning on going to NC? How do you handle it when your nada has an episode?

> >

> > I am posting this question because I have just started LC with my nada. I

haven't talked to her since I left on thanksgiving (except once through e-mail,

and once through text), and I have felt much more emotionally safer and

happier. However, I am really considering NC with my nada. I feel like I have

just given her everything I could, and it wasn't enough, and now its time to

focus on me, and feeling better about everything in general (after all, nadas

have an excellent way of putting a damper on everything).

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawsonjade, and what a good question! Thanks for asking, because it prompts

me to remember the good, good reason I went NC. Nada always used my Brudda

(brother) to administer corporal punishment to me (I was 5 years younger) and

that kept me silent and pliant, while Nada remained blameless. Great ploy, huh?!

Anyway, Brudda went so far with his punching, pinching and humiliation of me

that he almost killed me couple of times. I narrowly avoided breaking my neck

being pushed down the basement stairs, he attempted to drown me by holding my

head underwater in a plastic pool, and walked away when I had fallen from a

chair in the livingroom and laid, partially paralyzed, on the floor. When I

turned 15, Brudda delivered his last punch to my body. I believe my puberty was

his turning point. He could no longer beat me with a clear conscience. So I

diminished these murder attempts as I grew older, but I was always amazingly

fearful whenever I visited my parents and had panic attacks etc. Anyway all that

submerged memory came raging to the forefront of my conscious the day Nada flew

into a violent rage on the phone about 6 years ago.

I had asked Nada politely to let me finish my sentence (we were on the phone.)

Nada is a compulsive talker and I always had to fight to get a word in edgewise.

On that day, my Brudda was in the room during the call, and suddenly Nada threw

the phone down (I was on the other end) and began throwing chairs around and

slamming cupboard doors in a fury. I hung up the phone and was seized with panic

that would not subside. In a couple of days I went to a therapist, shaking,

crying, absolutely in a terror--and we " decoded " that my subconscious believed

that Nada was giving my Brudda a " signal " to start beating and physically

punishing me again to " keep me in line. "

Not only do I believe my subconscious was correct, but I finally faced up to how

dangerous my family was, not just mentally, but physically too. It took me six

months, but I " disappeared " with the help of friends. All my business, as well

as personal, is conducted completely " off the radar. I am untraceable, at least

as far as their puny efforts go, and they're to cheap to hire professionals to

find me!

I'm finally safe and happier every day. This was the least painful Christmas

I've ever had, and I mean pain-FREE, thank God.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

AFB

> >

> > Hello all, I just wanted to pose a question to you.

> >

> > For those of you who are NC with your nadas, what was your final straw?

What was the deciding factor for why you have NC? How have you felt since then?

> >

> > Those of you who are LC with your nadas, what are your feelings? Are you

planning on going to NC? How do you handle it when your nada has an episode?

> >

> > I am posting this question because I have just started LC with my nada. I

haven't talked to her since I left on thanksgiving (except once through e-mail,

and once through text), and I have felt much more emotionally safer and

happier. However, I am really considering NC with my nada. I feel like I have

just given her everything I could, and it wasn't enough, and now its time to

focus on me, and feeling better about everything in general (after all, nadas

have an excellent way of putting a damper on everything).

> >

>

[Guest guest]

kimberj103, you rock! I am LC with my nada and I totally get the mama bear

thing--becoming a mom, at first, made me understand my mom's frustrations a

little, and then, the worse she has gotten, the less I can have sympathy. The

more I know about her and BP, the less sympathy too, because I realized about a

week ago that she split me and my brudda and I was the bad kid--and I look at my

17 month old and say, " REALLY? Just because I was second born?? You decided when

I was a BABY that I was no good? That's effed up! "

Anyway, I went LC in August--or rather--she went LC because she put me on a

three month silent treatment. Which didn't bother me so much except that she

didn't even call my four-year-old on his birthday. And now that I know she's BP

(only figured that out about 4 weeks ago) I don't call more than once a week and

try to be uninvolved. I don't know if she knows what's going on and my

ridiculously passive father won't say anything or maintain contact with me in

the absence of nada doing it. I guess I wish he valued the relationship enough

to pick up the phone.

Still dealing with the massive sadness of it all. I realized last night that I

kind of thought that upon figuring out she had BP, that all the feelings of

worthlessness she instilled in me would go away, seeing as how she's nuts. But I

guess it's not quite that easy--it took about 26 years for these messages to

become engrained in me and they're not going away in four weeks. I still have

those moments of thinking I'm the crazy one. Which SUCKS. I also have these

moments where the fleas take over and I'm a semi-rotten wife (or at least, I

think I am, since I have no concept of normal.) I told my husband last night

that I was sorry that nada's BP tendencies still remain in me somewhat when it

comes to him--I am desperately careful with my children so as not to repeat what

was done to me, but with him I get sloppy when I'm stressed or angry and

sometimes lash out or say something sarcastic and then think, " Oh, that sounded

BP. Ick. " I realize I've gotten off topic so I'll quit there. Sympathetic

responses appreciated.

[Guest guest]

kimberj103, you rock! I am LC with my nada and I totally get the mama bear

thing--becoming a mom, at first, made me understand my mom's frustrations a

little, and then, the worse she has gotten, the less I can have sympathy. The

more I know about her and BP, the less sympathy too, because I realized about a

week ago that she split me and my brudda and I was the bad kid--and I look at my

17 month old and say, " REALLY? Just because I was second born?? You decided when

I was a BABY that I was no good? That's effed up! "

Anyway, I went LC in August--or rather--she went LC because she put me on a

three month silent treatment. Which didn't bother me so much except that she

didn't even call my four-year-old on his birthday. And now that I know she's BP

(only figured that out about 4 weeks ago) I don't call more than once a week and

try to be uninvolved. I don't know if she knows what's going on and my

ridiculously passive father won't say anything or maintain contact with me in

the absence of nada doing it. I guess I wish he valued the relationship enough

to pick up the phone.

Still dealing with the massive sadness of it all. I realized last night that I

kind of thought that upon figuring out she had BP, that all the feelings of

worthlessness she instilled in me would go away, seeing as how she's nuts. But I

guess it's not quite that easy--it took about 26 years for these messages to

become engrained in me and they're not going away in four weeks. I still have

those moments of thinking I'm the crazy one. Which SUCKS. I also have these

moments where the fleas take over and I'm a semi-rotten wife (or at least, I

think I am, since I have no concept of normal.) I told my husband last night

that I was sorry that nada's BP tendencies still remain in me somewhat when it

comes to him--I am desperately careful with my children so as not to repeat what

was done to me, but with him I get sloppy when I'm stressed or angry and

sometimes lash out or say something sarcastic and then think, " Oh, that sounded

BP. Ick. " I realize I've gotten off topic so I'll quit there. Sympathetic

responses appreciated.

[Guest guest]

Bren, I empathized with what you wrote.

I have just recently discovered my mom is BPD as well. I have 2 younger

brothers. I am a mom to an almost 3 year old.

I am not technically LC with my mom at this point but I'm getting close. She had

a blow up around Thanksgiving and my brothers and I all decided we were fed up

with the games and the manipulations and the outright lies. It was hard for me

to face the fact that my mom lies. That is something I have denied and chosen to

ignore my whole life. My mom is a Christian woman and raised me to be honest -

she doesn't lie!!! (Yes, in fact, she does)

I just started reading " Stop Walking On Eggshells " and am looking forward to the

portion of the book that tells me how to deal with her craziness.

Right now, my brothers and I have all taken a hard stance at not buckling to her

manipulations any longer and it has resulted in outlandish and more ridiculous

behavior on her part and what seems to be a LC from her to us. She gets to the

be the victim, which is right up her alley.

I know I am the one rambling on now but I just wanted you to know that I can

understand what you are saying about how you have had these messages in your

head your whole life and they can't just disappear.

I have been having an emotionally difficult time for months now. I am not even

able to carry on basic household duties and my husband has had to pick up the

slack. Its been hard for this perfectionist, let me tell you. My sweet husband

pointed out tonight that whenever my mom is acting out, it drains me and I am

this way. Plus, since I am the oldest, I am also the sounding board to my 2

younger brothers for my mom's behavior. So I am left completely drained with

nothing left to give to my family.

Somehow I've got to find a way to not let my mom be toxic in my life and rob me

of the love and energy I need to give to my own sweet family.

I'm so thankful I found this group. Best wishes to you Bren. I'm in the boat

with you.

>

>

>

> kimberj103, you rock! I am LC with my nada and I totally get the mama bear

thing--becoming a mom, at first, made me understand my mom's frustrations a

little, and then, the worse she has gotten, the less I can have sympathy. The

more I know about her and BP, the less sympathy too, because I realized about a

week ago that she split me and my brudda and I was the bad kid--and I look at my

17 month old and say, " REALLY? Just because I was second born?? You decided when

I was a BABY that I was no good? That's effed up! "

>

> Anyway, I went LC in August--or rather--she went LC because she put me on a

three month silent treatment. Which didn't bother me so much except that she

didn't even call my four-year-old on his birthday. And now that I know she's BP

(only figured that out about 4 weeks ago) I don't call more than once a week and

try to be uninvolved. I don't know if she knows what's going on and my

ridiculously passive father won't say anything or maintain contact with me in

the absence of nada doing it. I guess I wish he valued the relationship enough

to pick up the phone.

>

> Still dealing with the massive sadness of it all. I realized last night that I

kind of thought that upon figuring out she had BP, that all the feelings of

worthlessness she instilled in me would go away, seeing as how she's nuts. But I

guess it's not quite that easy--it took about 26 years for these messages to

become engrained in me and they're not going away in four weeks. I still have

those moments of thinking I'm the crazy one. Which SUCKS. I also have these

moments where the fleas take over and I'm a semi-rotten wife (or at least, I

think I am, since I have no concept of normal.) I told my husband last night

that I was sorry that nada's BP tendencies still remain in me somewhat when it

comes to him--I am desperately careful with my children so as not to repeat what

was done to me, but with him I get sloppy when I'm stressed or angry and

sometimes lash out or say something sarcastic and then think, " Oh, that sounded

BP. Ick. " I realize I've gotten off topic so I'll quit there. Sympathetic

responses appreciated.

>

[Guest guest]

Bren, I empathized with what you wrote.

I have just recently discovered my mom is BPD as well. I have 2 younger

brothers. I am a mom to an almost 3 year old.

I am not technically LC with my mom at this point but I'm getting close. She had

a blow up around Thanksgiving and my brothers and I all decided we were fed up

with the games and the manipulations and the outright lies. It was hard for me

to face the fact that my mom lies. That is something I have denied and chosen to

ignore my whole life. My mom is a Christian woman and raised me to be honest -

she doesn't lie!!! (Yes, in fact, she does)

I just started reading " Stop Walking On Eggshells " and am looking forward to the

portion of the book that tells me how to deal with her craziness.

Right now, my brothers and I have all taken a hard stance at not buckling to her

manipulations any longer and it has resulted in outlandish and more ridiculous

behavior on her part and what seems to be a LC from her to us. She gets to the

be the victim, which is right up her alley.

I know I am the one rambling on now but I just wanted you to know that I can

understand what you are saying about how you have had these messages in your

head your whole life and they can't just disappear.

I have been having an emotionally difficult time for months now. I am not even

able to carry on basic household duties and my husband has had to pick up the

slack. Its been hard for this perfectionist, let me tell you. My sweet husband

pointed out tonight that whenever my mom is acting out, it drains me and I am

this way. Plus, since I am the oldest, I am also the sounding board to my 2

younger brothers for my mom's behavior. So I am left completely drained with

nothing left to give to my family.

Somehow I've got to find a way to not let my mom be toxic in my life and rob me

of the love and energy I need to give to my own sweet family.

I'm so thankful I found this group. Best wishes to you Bren. I'm in the boat

with you.

>

>

>

> kimberj103, you rock! I am LC with my nada and I totally get the mama bear

thing--becoming a mom, at first, made me understand my mom's frustrations a

little, and then, the worse she has gotten, the less I can have sympathy. The

more I know about her and BP, the less sympathy too, because I realized about a

week ago that she split me and my brudda and I was the bad kid--and I look at my

17 month old and say, " REALLY? Just because I was second born?? You decided when

I was a BABY that I was no good? That's effed up! "

>

> Anyway, I went LC in August--or rather--she went LC because she put me on a

three month silent treatment. Which didn't bother me so much except that she

didn't even call my four-year-old on his birthday. And now that I know she's BP

(only figured that out about 4 weeks ago) I don't call more than once a week and

try to be uninvolved. I don't know if she knows what's going on and my

ridiculously passive father won't say anything or maintain contact with me in

the absence of nada doing it. I guess I wish he valued the relationship enough

to pick up the phone.

>

> Still dealing with the massive sadness of it all. I realized last night that I

kind of thought that upon figuring out she had BP, that all the feelings of

worthlessness she instilled in me would go away, seeing as how she's nuts. But I

guess it's not quite that easy--it took about 26 years for these messages to

become engrained in me and they're not going away in four weeks. I still have

those moments of thinking I'm the crazy one. Which SUCKS. I also have these

moments where the fleas take over and I'm a semi-rotten wife (or at least, I

think I am, since I have no concept of normal.) I told my husband last night

that I was sorry that nada's BP tendencies still remain in me somewhat when it

comes to him--I am desperately careful with my children so as not to repeat what

was done to me, but with him I get sloppy when I'm stressed or angry and

sometimes lash out or say something sarcastic and then think, " Oh, that sounded

BP. Ick. " I realize I've gotten off topic so I'll quit there. Sympathetic

responses appreciated.

>

[Guest guest]

Bren, I empathized with what you wrote.

I have just recently discovered my mom is BPD as well. I have 2 younger

brothers. I am a mom to an almost 3 year old.

I am not technically LC with my mom at this point but I'm getting close. She had

a blow up around Thanksgiving and my brothers and I all decided we were fed up

with the games and the manipulations and the outright lies. It was hard for me

to face the fact that my mom lies. That is something I have denied and chosen to

ignore my whole life. My mom is a Christian woman and raised me to be honest -

she doesn't lie!!! (Yes, in fact, she does)

I just started reading " Stop Walking On Eggshells " and am looking forward to the

portion of the book that tells me how to deal with her craziness.

Right now, my brothers and I have all taken a hard stance at not buckling to her

manipulations any longer and it has resulted in outlandish and more ridiculous

behavior on her part and what seems to be a LC from her to us. She gets to the

be the victim, which is right up her alley.

I know I am the one rambling on now but I just wanted you to know that I can

understand what you are saying about how you have had these messages in your

head your whole life and they can't just disappear.

I have been having an emotionally difficult time for months now. I am not even

able to carry on basic household duties and my husband has had to pick up the

slack. Its been hard for this perfectionist, let me tell you. My sweet husband

pointed out tonight that whenever my mom is acting out, it drains me and I am

this way. Plus, since I am the oldest, I am also the sounding board to my 2

younger brothers for my mom's behavior. So I am left completely drained with

nothing left to give to my family.

Somehow I've got to find a way to not let my mom be toxic in my life and rob me

of the love and energy I need to give to my own sweet family.

I'm so thankful I found this group. Best wishes to you Bren. I'm in the boat

with you.

>

>

>

> kimberj103, you rock! I am LC with my nada and I totally get the mama bear

thing--becoming a mom, at first, made me understand my mom's frustrations a

little, and then, the worse she has gotten, the less I can have sympathy. The

more I know about her and BP, the less sympathy too, because I realized about a

week ago that she split me and my brudda and I was the bad kid--and I look at my

17 month old and say, " REALLY? Just because I was second born?? You decided when

I was a BABY that I was no good? That's effed up! "

>

> Anyway, I went LC in August--or rather--she went LC because she put me on a

three month silent treatment. Which didn't bother me so much except that she

didn't even call my four-year-old on his birthday. And now that I know she's BP

(only figured that out about 4 weeks ago) I don't call more than once a week and

try to be uninvolved. I don't know if she knows what's going on and my

ridiculously passive father won't say anything or maintain contact with me in

the absence of nada doing it. I guess I wish he valued the relationship enough

to pick up the phone.

>

> Still dealing with the massive sadness of it all. I realized last night that I

kind of thought that upon figuring out she had BP, that all the feelings of

worthlessness she instilled in me would go away, seeing as how she's nuts. But I

guess it's not quite that easy--it took about 26 years for these messages to

become engrained in me and they're not going away in four weeks. I still have

those moments of thinking I'm the crazy one. Which SUCKS. I also have these

moments where the fleas take over and I'm a semi-rotten wife (or at least, I

think I am, since I have no concept of normal.) I told my husband last night

that I was sorry that nada's BP tendencies still remain in me somewhat when it

comes to him--I am desperately careful with my children so as not to repeat what

was done to me, but with him I get sloppy when I'm stressed or angry and

sometimes lash out or say something sarcastic and then think, " Oh, that sounded

BP. Ick. " I realize I've gotten off topic so I'll quit there. Sympathetic

responses appreciated.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, Kimberj--

I can so relate to that. I could always normalize or explain away nada's

behavior . . . until I had children of my own.

Just like you said--when you see their behavior through the eyes of a sane,

loving mother, you just can't go back to making them okay.

Wow.

> >

> > Hello all, I just wanted to pose a question to you.

> >

> > For those of you who are NC with your nadas, what was your final straw?

What was the deciding factor for why you have NC? How have you felt since then?

> >

> > Those of you who are LC with your nadas, what are your feelings? Are you

planning on going to NC? How do you handle it when your nada has an episode?

> >

> > I am posting this question because I have just started LC with my nada. I

haven't talked to her since I left on thanksgiving (except once through e-mail,

and once through text), and I have felt much more emotionally safer and

happier. However, I am really considering NC with my nada. I feel like I have

just given her everything I could, and it wasn't enough, and now its time to

focus on me, and feeling better about everything in general (after all, nadas

have an excellent way of putting a damper on everything).

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, Kimberj--

I can so relate to that. I could always normalize or explain away nada's

behavior . . . until I had children of my own.

Just like you said--when you see their behavior through the eyes of a sane,

loving mother, you just can't go back to making them okay.

Wow.

> >

> > Hello all, I just wanted to pose a question to you.

> >

> > For those of you who are NC with your nadas, what was your final straw?

What was the deciding factor for why you have NC? How have you felt since then?

> >

> > Those of you who are LC with your nadas, what are your feelings? Are you

planning on going to NC? How do you handle it when your nada has an episode?

> >

> > I am posting this question because I have just started LC with my nada. I

haven't talked to her since I left on thanksgiving (except once through e-mail,

and once through text), and I have felt much more emotionally safer and

happier. However, I am really considering NC with my nada. I feel like I have

just given her everything I could, and it wasn't enough, and now its time to

focus on me, and feeling better about everything in general (after all, nadas

have an excellent way of putting a damper on everything).

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, Kimberj--

I can so relate to that. I could always normalize or explain away nada's

behavior . . . until I had children of my own.

Just like you said--when you see their behavior through the eyes of a sane,

loving mother, you just can't go back to making them okay.

Wow.

> >

> > Hello all, I just wanted to pose a question to you.

> >

> > For those of you who are NC with your nadas, what was your final straw?

What was the deciding factor for why you have NC? How have you felt since then?

> >

> > Those of you who are LC with your nadas, what are your feelings? Are you

planning on going to NC? How do you handle it when your nada has an episode?

> >

> > I am posting this question because I have just started LC with my nada. I

haven't talked to her since I left on thanksgiving (except once through e-mail,

and once through text), and I have felt much more emotionally safer and

happier. However, I am really considering NC with my nada. I feel like I have

just given her everything I could, and it wasn't enough, and now its time to

focus on me, and feeling better about everything in general (after all, nadas

have an excellent way of putting a damper on everything).

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Getting arrested by my BPD Father.

We lived in a rented trailer for 10yrs(single wide) I give him all my savings

after his bankruptcy to buy a house so he can marry his girlfriend. He kicks me

out 2months later with 2days notice. 10yrs later, I'm laid off, broke, and move

back. He rifles through my stuff in my room, finds a note that I'm going to

remodel his house by burning it down, tells the cops, serves me an eviction

notice and I lose it and attack him. He calls the cops and poof I'm arrested.

>

> Hello all, I just wanted to pose a question to you.

>

> For those of you who are NC with your nadas, what was your final straw? What

was the deciding factor for why you have NC? How have you felt since then?

>

> Those of you who are LC with your nadas, what are your feelings? Are you

planning on going to NC? How do you handle it when your nada has an episode?

>

> I am posting this question because I have just started LC with my nada. I

haven't talked to her since I left on thanksgiving (except once through e-mail,

and once through text), and I have felt much more emotionally safer and

happier. However, I am really considering NC with my nada. I feel like I have

just given her everything I could, and it wasn't enough, and now its time to

focus on me, and feeling better about everything in general (after all, nadas

have an excellent way of putting a damper on everything).

>

[Guest guest]

Getting arrested by my BPD Father.

We lived in a rented trailer for 10yrs(single wide) I give him all my savings

after his bankruptcy to buy a house so he can marry his girlfriend. He kicks me

out 2months later with 2days notice. 10yrs later, I'm laid off, broke, and move

back. He rifles through my stuff in my room, finds a note that I'm going to

remodel his house by burning it down, tells the cops, serves me an eviction

notice and I lose it and attack him. He calls the cops and poof I'm arrested.

>

> Hello all, I just wanted to pose a question to you.

>

> For those of you who are NC with your nadas, what was your final straw? What

was the deciding factor for why you have NC? How have you felt since then?

>

> Those of you who are LC with your nadas, what are your feelings? Are you

planning on going to NC? How do you handle it when your nada has an episode?

>

> I am posting this question because I have just started LC with my nada. I

haven't talked to her since I left on thanksgiving (except once through e-mail,

and once through text), and I have felt much more emotionally safer and

happier. However, I am really considering NC with my nada. I feel like I have

just given her everything I could, and it wasn't enough, and now its time to

focus on me, and feeling better about everything in general (after all, nadas

have an excellent way of putting a damper on everything).

>

[Guest guest]

Getting arrested by my BPD Father.

We lived in a rented trailer for 10yrs(single wide) I give him all my savings

after his bankruptcy to buy a house so he can marry his girlfriend. He kicks me

out 2months later with 2days notice. 10yrs later, I'm laid off, broke, and move

back. He rifles through my stuff in my room, finds a note that I'm going to

remodel his house by burning it down, tells the cops, serves me an eviction

notice and I lose it and attack him. He calls the cops and poof I'm arrested.

>

> Hello all, I just wanted to pose a question to you.

>

> For those of you who are NC with your nadas, what was your final straw? What

was the deciding factor for why you have NC? How have you felt since then?

>

> Those of you who are LC with your nadas, what are your feelings? Are you

planning on going to NC? How do you handle it when your nada has an episode?

>

> I am posting this question because I have just started LC with my nada. I

haven't talked to her since I left on thanksgiving (except once through e-mail,

and once through text), and I have felt much more emotionally safer and

happier. However, I am really considering NC with my nada. I feel like I have

just given her everything I could, and it wasn't enough, and now its time to

focus on me, and feeling better about everything in general (after all, nadas

have an excellent way of putting a damper on everything).

>