Guest guest Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 Hi nn,welcome to the group You mentioned wanting to find a therapist because you are (understandably!) at the end of your rope dealing with your parents.I just wanted to pass on a resource for finding a therapist with knowledge of personality disorder (and how it affects family members),which is a search engine from Psychology Today.There are listings by city and state of therapists with their professional bios and specializations and if they have experience treating PD related issues that is included on the therapist's page: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php Best wishes to you, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 Hi , Thank you so much.I really appreciate your great information which I am putting you good use right now. Sincerely, nn ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Thu, November 11, 2010 7:17:01 PM Subject: Re: I am new to the group Hi nn,welcome to the group You mentioned wanting to find a therapist because you are (understandably!) at the end of your rope dealing with your parents.I just wanted to pass on a resource for finding a therapist with knowledge of personality disorder (and how it affects family members),which is a search engine from Psychology Today.There are listings by city and state of therapists with their professional bios and specializations and if they have experience treating PD related issues that is included on the therapist's page: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php Best wishes to you, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2010 Report Share Posted November 12, 2010 Hi Wavegoodbye! I am new to the group too and never wrote in on a forum before. At first, I didn't know what to say, plus everyone else seemed to pretty much have it covered. But it helps so much to get the support and affirmation here! (I've been a member for a couple of weeks.) I do know that group therapy has been shown to be highly effective, so I think this group is like therapy for me. It also helps my husband because I can express some of these feelings without always needing him to " counsel " me. :-) He has been incredibly patient with all of this and understands because he comes from an alcoholic and physically abusive family. Please check in when you can and let us know how things are going for you. Your situation reminds me some of mine because my nada's abuse was primarily verbal and control is/was achieved primarily through guilt. I, too, felt concerned because of my faith in God and the church's teachings that sometimes inadvertently encourage us to take abuse. We can talk some more about Scriptures that support healthy interactions if you want. Have you read the book " Boundaries " by Townsend and Henry Cloud? -Coal Miner's Daughter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2010 Report Share Posted November 12, 2010 Hi Coalminersdotter, Thank you so much for the good advice.I have been reading your previous posts and I can say we sure have a lot in common.My nada did the come over I am so depressed routine 2 weeks ago.Her home was a mess,she had been crying and covered in a blanket on her sofa.She cried and complained she was so lonely and I never spent time with her and I felt so guilty that I took her to see Secretariat and have dinner.I thought a nice uplifting movie might perk her up.Please,let me tell you the only message that this woman got from the movie was the daughter took care of her parents!Of course this was not really the message at all.If you haven't seen the movie I can highly recommend the film.Very powerful! I just ordered the book you recommended,it looks very helpful!! I think this group will help a lot.My poor husband could use a break,because lately it is all I talk about since I figured this out.My husband comes from normal parents.He has helped me so much to see that my nada and fada were not normal.I am so lucky to have such a supportive and wonderful husband. The guilt I think is the most difficult and the worry.I have a book recommendation for you 'The Power of Positive Thinking' by dr.Norman Peale.This book brought me out of depression.I have it as an audio book on my computer and listen to all the time,it has some really helpful ways to over come fear and worry. Thanks again for your support. nn ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Fri, November 12, 2010 7:53:08 AM Subject: Re: I am new to the group Hi Wavegoodbye! I am new to the group too and never wrote in on a forum before. At first, I didn't know what to say, plus everyone else seemed to pretty much have it covered. But it helps so much to get the support and affirmation here! (I've been a member for a couple of weeks.) I do know that group therapy has been shown to be highly effective, so I think this group is like therapy for me. It also helps my husband because I can express some of these feelings without always needing him to " counsel " me. :-) He has been incredibly patient with all of this and understands because he comes from an alcoholic and physically abusive family. Please check in when you can and let us know how things are going for you. Your situation reminds me some of mine because my nada's abuse was primarily verbal and control is/was achieved primarily through guilt. I, too, felt concerned because of my faith in God and the church's teachings that sometimes inadvertently encourage us to take abuse. We can talk some more about Scriptures that support healthy interactions if you want. Have you read the book " Boundaries " by Townsend and Henry Cloud? -Coal Miner's Daughter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2010 Report Share Posted November 12, 2010 The similarities in this group never fail to amaze me. My sister and I took mom to see " Secretariat " last month to try and cheer her up. She was basically mad at us for being friends and enjoying each other's company instead of bickering the way she taught us to. We sat on either side of her and literally held her hands through the sad parts. We were indoctrinated early on that it is/was our job to parent our mother. p.s. LOVE that movie! It's my favorite. I enjoyed it in spite of myself. :-) I will look up " The Power of Positive Thinking. " Thank you for the reference. Blessings, Coal Miner's Daughter > > Hi Coalminersdotter, > Thank you so much for the good advice.I have been reading your previous posts > and I can say we sure have a lot in common.My nada did the come over I am so > depressed routine 2 weeks ago.Her home was a mess,she had been crying and > covered in a blanket on her sofa.She cried and complained she was so lonely and > I never spent time with her and I felt so guilty that I took her to see > Secretariat and have dinner.I thought a nice uplifting movie might perk her > up.Please,let me tell you the only message that this woman got from the movie > was the daughter took care of her parents!Of course this was not really the > message at all.If you haven't seen the movie I can highly recommend the > film.Very powerful! > I just ordered the book you recommended,it looks very helpful!! > I think this group will help a lot.My poor husband could use a break,because > lately it is all I talk about since I figured this out.My husband comes from > normal parents.He has helped me so much to see that my nada and fada were not > normal.I am so lucky to have such a supportive and wonderful husband. > The guilt I think is the most difficult and the worry.I have a book > recommendation for you 'The Power of Positive Thinking' by dr.Norman > Peale.This book brought me out of depression.I have it as an audio book on my > computer and listen to all the time,it has some really helpful ways to over come > fear and worry. > Thanks again for your support. > nn > > > > ________________________________ > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Sent: Fri, November 12, 2010 7:53:08 AM > Subject: Re: I am new to the group > > > Hi Wavegoodbye! > > I am new to the group too and never wrote in on a forum before. At first, I > didn't know what to say, plus everyone else seemed to pretty much have it > covered. But it helps so much to get the support and affirmation here! (I've > been a member for a couple of weeks.) I do know that group therapy has been > shown to be highly effective, so I think this group is like therapy for me. > > It also helps my husband because I can express some of these feelings without > always needing him to " counsel " me. :-) He has been incredibly patient with > all of this and understands because he comes from an alcoholic and physically > abusive family. > > Please check in when you can and let us know how things are going for you. Your > situation reminds me some of mine because my nada's abuse was primarily verbal > and control is/was achieved primarily through guilt. I, too, felt concerned > because of my faith in God and the church's teachings that sometimes > inadvertently encourage us to take abuse. We can talk some more about > Scriptures that support healthy interactions if you want. Have you read the > book " Boundaries " by Townsend and Henry Cloud? > > -Coal Miner's Daughter > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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