Re: Re: facebook and boundaries

[Guest guest]

Hey Annie,

If Facebook doesn't work for you, that's okay. Don't feel like you have to

do it

And if you want to do it half-assed, you can. Your friends will realize that

you aren't on there a lot and they will call, text or e-mail you.

Also, you can block people so that they can never see a single thing about

you. It's like you are dead to them. I've done it to all my family and my

stalker too.

I haven't done groups yet but I want to try when I have time - but I also

have a policy that people need to accept me as I am - if they don't, DELETE!

Ok, true confession, not only do I deny to add people to my page, but I also

take GREAT PLEASURE in deleting people who piss me off. I relished deleting

a co-worker who through a tantrum like a 3 year old over the size of a

banner. And then a client who gave me a 3 month hiatus from working on his

account with no reason or explanation - he got said bye bye too. i also just

tried to delete another co-worker who made fun of a beatiful pair of gloves

a good friend custom made for me. I didn't get to enjoy it though because we

weren't ever friends. HAHAHA

So anyway, my advice, do facebook however you want or not at all, no

guilt!!! I have to for my profession. . . but I kinda like it. But I say No

Guilt! And no nada on facebook either - I shudder to think what she would

write. Ugh.

XOXO

On Mon, Dec 6, 2010 at 1:00 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> Lol!! I know; I realize that I have the right to say " no " to a friend

> request on FB. What makes me anxious is that I can never know if this person

> I don't know who is asking me to " friend " him or her is just a nice person

> or if its the crazy, hostile ex-friend using a new false ID and trying to

> stalk me again. I think having been stalked twice in my life (once when I

> was in college, an in-person male stalker) and more recently by this

> ex-friend (female, cyber-stalking only) has made me permanently leery about

> the whole thing.

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > Annie? You of all people. One of the strongest of us.

> >

> > YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO ANY SUMBITCH IN THE WORLD.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah me too, pre NC I got I think one e-mail from my nada and it took her

about 8 months to reply and actually send it. As far as I know she has no

clue how to use a computer. Her loss, my gain.

On Mon, Dec 6, 2010 at 1:56 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> Thanks! I admit I am grateful that my nada really doesn't want to learn to

> use the computer. She's made noises over the last decade or so about wanting

> to learn how to get on the Internet and use e-mail, but, she's turned down

> friends' (and Sister's) offers to teach her. During her working years nada

> was skilled with things like calculators and typing, but her vision is a

> problem now, and she didn't learn how to get familiar and comfortable with

> computers back when she could see better, so... its sad. There is even a

> program near her home that she has attended for visually-impaired seniors,

> that teaches them how to get around more safely and retain their

> independence longer, and this group offers (or used to offer) a class

> specifically for visually-impaired senior-citizen " computer virgins " , but...

> nada simply never chose to go. I feel sorry for nada because the Internet is

> such a wonderful thing for people who can't get out and about easily any

> longer, but on the other hand I am selfishly glad that the Internet is a

> place that I will never have to worry about encountering her.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Annie? You of all people. One of the strongest of us.

> > > >

> > > > YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO ANY SUMBITCH IN THE WORLD.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

If you block them, they can't even see that you have a profile too.

On Mon, Dec 6, 2010 at 4:55 PM, crazy150345 wrote:

>

>

> If I feel " bad " about not friending someone, usually its someone I knew at

> school who I didnt really know or like anyway, Ill accept the request, then

> 2 monthsd down the track Ill take them off.

>

> When you " unfriend " someone they dont get notified of it. The only way they

> will know is by trying to get onto your profile. So it works well. Most

> people friend heaps of people and then never look at their profile for

> yonks.

>

> As for family, I simply refuse to accept their requests. One sister and my

> brother are friended, everyone else can go jump. If they dont like it, stiff

> titties. I also have the strongest securuty settings so people cannot search

> for my name, let alone see my profile.

>

> Often I go through my friend list and cull those I dont want to keep in

> contact with. Im brutal. ;]

>

>

>

> > >

> > It makes me feel bad to ignore my FB account because it seems more rude

> than not having an account to begin with, but I find it anxiety-inducing to

> be asked to " friend " people I don't know.

> > >

> >

> >

> > LOL...only a KO would feel guilty about not checking a voluntary site ;-)

> I say, don't worry about it. A lot of folks only check in every so often.

> It's totally not rude to ignore the place. If somebody really needs to reach

> you, they'll know how to email or call you. Most of the things on fb are

> really mundane.

> >

> > I never accept a request from someone I don't know in real life. You can

> have any rules you want about what connections you want to make there. Some

> people like having only a few close, real-life friends, while some like to

> connect with everyone. It's up to you.

> >

> > I'm sorry your un-friend cyberstalked you...that must have been awful. I

> imagine that would definitely make me more guarded about my online privacy,

> too!

> >

> > KT

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

PS " Yonk and stiff titties " I LOVE LOVE LOVE your word choice!

On Mon, Dec 6, 2010 at 6:10 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@...

> wrote:

> If you block them, they can't even see that you have a profile too.

>

> On Mon, Dec 6, 2010 at 4:55 PM, crazy150345 wrote:

>

>>

>>

>> If I feel " bad " about not friending someone, usually its someone I knew at

>> school who I didnt really know or like anyway, Ill accept the request, then

>> 2 monthsd down the track Ill take them off.

>>

>> When you " unfriend " someone they dont get notified of it. The only way

>> they will know is by trying to get onto your profile. So it works well. Most

>> people friend heaps of people and then never look at their profile for

>> yonks.

>>

>> As for family, I simply refuse to accept their requests. One sister and my

>> brother are friended, everyone else can go jump. If they dont like it, stiff

>> titties. I also have the strongest securuty settings so people cannot search

>> for my name, let alone see my profile.

>>

>> Often I go through my friend list and cull those I dont want to keep in

>> contact with. Im brutal. ;]

>>

>>

>>

>> > >

>> > It makes me feel bad to ignore my FB account because it seems more rude

>> than not having an account to begin with, but I find it anxiety-inducing to

>> be asked to " friend " people I don't know.

>> > >

>> >

>> >

>> > LOL...only a KO would feel guilty about not checking a voluntary site

>> ;-) I say, don't worry about it. A lot of folks only check in every so

>> often. It's totally not rude to ignore the place. If somebody really needs

>> to reach you, they'll know how to email or call you. Most of the things on

>> fb are really mundane.

>> >

>> > I never accept a request from someone I don't know in real life. You can

>> have any rules you want about what connections you want to make there. Some

>> people like having only a few close, real-life friends, while some like to

>> connect with everyone. It's up to you.

>> >

>> > I'm sorry your un-friend cyberstalked you...that must have been awful. I

>> imagine that would definitely make me more guarded about my online privacy,

>> too!

>> >

>> > KT

>> >

>>

>>

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

oh yes, yes, why do people seem to want to 'collect' 'friends' on fb, just to

boost a number? to prove some sort of popularity contest with themselves? no one

else cares i think.  ann

Subject: Re: facebook and boundaries

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Tuesday, December 7, 2010, 9:33 PM

 

Precisely. If I get a request from someone I don t know, or I m not

totally sure who they are, I ll respond with a message saying Who are

you? If I don t get a satisfactory responce, They are toast.

I got one request that included a picture in the profile of a naked

young lady. It was obvious she was VERY friendly. I rejected her

request as well.

If I don t want to be friends with you, I don t have to be. People

used to living with FOG think we have to please everyone, or someone

will die or commit suicide.

We are not responsible for the world.

Doug

> >

> > Lol!! I know; I realize that I have the right to say " no " to a

friend request on FB. What makes me anxious is that I can never know if

this person I don't know who is asking me to " friend " him or her is just

a nice person or if its the crazy, hostile ex-friend using a new false

ID and trying to stalk me again. I think having been stalked twice in

my life (once when I was in college, an in-person male stalker) and more

recently by this ex-friend (female, cyber-stalking only) has made me

permanently leery about the whole thing.

> > -Annie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

oh yes, yes, why do people seem to want to 'collect' 'friends' on fb, just to

boost a number? to prove some sort of popularity contest with themselves? no one

else cares i think.  ann

Subject: Re: facebook and boundaries

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Tuesday, December 7, 2010, 9:33 PM

 

Precisely. If I get a request from someone I don t know, or I m not

totally sure who they are, I ll respond with a message saying Who are

you? If I don t get a satisfactory responce, They are toast.

I got one request that included a picture in the profile of a naked

young lady. It was obvious she was VERY friendly. I rejected her

request as well.

If I don t want to be friends with you, I don t have to be. People

used to living with FOG think we have to please everyone, or someone

will die or commit suicide.

We are not responsible for the world.

Doug

> >

> > Lol!! I know; I realize that I have the right to say " no " to a

friend request on FB. What makes me anxious is that I can never know if

this person I don't know who is asking me to " friend " him or her is just

a nice person or if its the crazy, hostile ex-friend using a new false

ID and trying to stalk me again. I think having been stalked twice in

my life (once when I was in college, an in-person male stalker) and more

recently by this ex-friend (female, cyber-stalking only) has made me

permanently leery about the whole thing.

> > -Annie

> >

>