Re: facebook and boundaries

[Guest guest]

My solution is to create groups with different privacy settings. So, whenever

my parents or one of their friends sends me a request, I just add them to the

" family " group I made. That group is only allowed to see my profile pictures

and a little bit of my basic info--only slightly more info than total strangers

who might find me through a search could see. They cannot see any of my posts

or status updates, and cannot post or comment to my wall. (Though I imagine

they might see what I write to a mutual friend). For me, it has worked out

well. You can also adjust privacy settings for each individual photo album.

My mom eventually gave up on facebook because she said she couldn't figure it

out. I know she only signed up to get into my private life that I wouldn't

voluntarily share with her, and when she couldn't do that she got bored and

quit. My dad still has a page, but he can barely send email, so I'm not sure if

he really made it or if she made it for him to see if I would be willing to

share more with him. Either way, it doesn't matter, because they still don't

have access to my personal details.

kt

>

> Keeping boudanries and privacy is alsmost impossible with Facebook. facebook

is fun to get or stay in touch with friends but it's creating a lot of problems

in the family sector. Initially, i received friendship requests from both my

narcisisstic father and nada (being divorced for years and still fighting

occasionally).

>

> My father loves to have an audience and is basically FB addicted. And ME, ME,

ME nada, of course loves facebook to 'control' friends and family, and to have

her little audience too. How annoying.

>

> My father feels the need to 'comment' every single post of mine. I got to the

point where I am almost afraid to post anything, because I know that the little

patronizing comment will appear within an hour.

>

> So much so that I finally canceled them both.

>

> Well, within one month, almost simultaneously I received, again, friendship

requests and phone calls on why they cannot post on my wall, etc.

>

> I don't want to 'befriend them again, but what can I tell them to avoid WW

III?

>

[Guest guest]

My solution is to create groups with different privacy settings. So, whenever

my parents or one of their friends sends me a request, I just add them to the

" family " group I made. That group is only allowed to see my profile pictures

and a little bit of my basic info--only slightly more info than total strangers

who might find me through a search could see. They cannot see any of my posts

or status updates, and cannot post or comment to my wall. (Though I imagine

they might see what I write to a mutual friend). For me, it has worked out

well. You can also adjust privacy settings for each individual photo album.

My mom eventually gave up on facebook because she said she couldn't figure it

out. I know she only signed up to get into my private life that I wouldn't

voluntarily share with her, and when she couldn't do that she got bored and

quit. My dad still has a page, but he can barely send email, so I'm not sure if

he really made it or if she made it for him to see if I would be willing to

share more with him. Either way, it doesn't matter, because they still don't

have access to my personal details.

kt

>

> Keeping boudanries and privacy is alsmost impossible with Facebook. facebook

is fun to get or stay in touch with friends but it's creating a lot of problems

in the family sector. Initially, i received friendship requests from both my

narcisisstic father and nada (being divorced for years and still fighting

occasionally).

>

> My father loves to have an audience and is basically FB addicted. And ME, ME,

ME nada, of course loves facebook to 'control' friends and family, and to have

her little audience too. How annoying.

>

> My father feels the need to 'comment' every single post of mine. I got to the

point where I am almost afraid to post anything, because I know that the little

patronizing comment will appear within an hour.

>

> So much so that I finally canceled them both.

>

> Well, within one month, almost simultaneously I received, again, friendship

requests and phone calls on why they cannot post on my wall, etc.

>

> I don't want to 'befriend them again, but what can I tell them to avoid WW

III?

>

[Guest guest]

My solution is to create groups with different privacy settings. So, whenever

my parents or one of their friends sends me a request, I just add them to the

" family " group I made. That group is only allowed to see my profile pictures

and a little bit of my basic info--only slightly more info than total strangers

who might find me through a search could see. They cannot see any of my posts

or status updates, and cannot post or comment to my wall. (Though I imagine

they might see what I write to a mutual friend). For me, it has worked out

well. You can also adjust privacy settings for each individual photo album.

My mom eventually gave up on facebook because she said she couldn't figure it

out. I know she only signed up to get into my private life that I wouldn't

voluntarily share with her, and when she couldn't do that she got bored and

quit. My dad still has a page, but he can barely send email, so I'm not sure if

he really made it or if she made it for him to see if I would be willing to

share more with him. Either way, it doesn't matter, because they still don't

have access to my personal details.

kt

>

> Keeping boudanries and privacy is alsmost impossible with Facebook. facebook

is fun to get or stay in touch with friends but it's creating a lot of problems

in the family sector. Initially, i received friendship requests from both my

narcisisstic father and nada (being divorced for years and still fighting

occasionally).

>

> My father loves to have an audience and is basically FB addicted. And ME, ME,

ME nada, of course loves facebook to 'control' friends and family, and to have

her little audience too. How annoying.

>

> My father feels the need to 'comment' every single post of mine. I got to the

point where I am almost afraid to post anything, because I know that the little

patronizing comment will appear within an hour.

>

> So much so that I finally canceled them both.

>

> Well, within one month, almost simultaneously I received, again, friendship

requests and phone calls on why they cannot post on my wall, etc.

>

> I don't want to 'befriend them again, but what can I tell them to avoid WW

III?

>

[Guest guest]

RE how do you tell your parents that you are un-friending them on Facebook?

There is no good way to do that, that I can see. I think the idea of creating

sub-groups that only allow very limited access is a great idea. Then you just

do that, put nada and fada in the " family only " subgroup with the settings you

prefer (like, " can't post " or whatever) and don't explain why. At least, that's

what I'd do.

Maybe I'll try that too. I succumbed to pressure and made a Facebook account,

but I virtually never go on it. I prefer e-mail. It makes me feel bad to

ignore my FB account because it seems more rude than not having an account to

begin with, but I find it anxiety-inducing to be asked to " friend " people I

don't know.

I became leery of social networking sites because I was cyber-stalked for over 2

years by a personality-disordered former friend who (apparently) wanted to " get

me back " for deciding to end our friendship. It took me nearly 2 years to

figure out who was sending the nasty, insulting posts at various Groups I belong

to, and when I finally put all the clues together, I wrote my former friend and

basically told her to " cease and desist " and after another 6 months or so she

eventually stopped. I don't want to go through that again.

So I'll try creating sub-groups, maybe that will make me feel safer.

-Annie

>

> My solution is to create groups with different privacy settings. So, whenever

my parents or one of their friends sends me a request, I just add them to the

" family " group I made. That group is only allowed to see my profile pictures

and a little bit of my basic info--only slightly more info than total strangers

who might find me through a search could see. They cannot see any of my posts

or status updates, and cannot post or comment to my wall. (Though I imagine

they might see what I write to a mutual friend). For me, it has worked out

well. You can also adjust privacy settings for each individual photo album.

>

> My mom eventually gave up on facebook because she said she couldn't figure it

out. I know she only signed up to get into my private life that I wouldn't

voluntarily share with her, and when she couldn't do that she got bored and

quit. My dad still has a page, but he can barely send email, so I'm not sure if

he really made it or if she made it for him to see if I would be willing to

share more with him. Either way, it doesn't matter, because they still don't

have access to my personal details.

>

> kt

[Guest guest]

>

It makes me feel bad to ignore my FB account because it seems more rude than not

having an account to begin with, but I find it anxiety-inducing to be asked to

" friend " people I don't know.

>

LOL...only a KO would feel guilty about not checking a voluntary site ;-) I

say, don't worry about it. A lot of folks only check in every so often. It's

totally not rude to ignore the place. If somebody really needs to reach you,

they'll know how to email or call you. Most of the things on fb are really

mundane.

I never accept a request from someone I don't know in real life. You can have

any rules you want about what connections you want to make there. Some people

like having only a few close, real-life friends, while some like to connect with

everyone. It's up to you.

I'm sorry your un-friend cyberstalked you...that must have been awful. I

imagine that would definitely make me more guarded about my online privacy, too!

KT

[Guest guest]

I m getting , perhaps, more hardcore in my old age. I m also enjoying

the freedom that comes from telling KO s the facts of life that I

learned painfully after nearly 5 decades of living with nada and all

that goes with it.

Here goes.

You have a right to safe and comfortable bounderies.

You have the right to exclude anyone from a party ( yep, nada sure

thought she should be invited along for a bunch of teen aged boys going

out to act like fools, ) your home, your life, or your facebook account.

You do not HAVE to explain to them why you don t choose to include them.

If you do so choose, it is not your responsibility to assure they don t

act like the immature children that they are. ( WW3)

If you choose to tell them why, the truth is a novel concept that they

are not used to, and that you have feared to use for a long time. It IS

very freeing. They ARE going to act like assholes about it, so screw

it.

I took you off my friends list because I don t like your little

condescending remarks, and frankly, I don t want to permit either of you

to see my personal interchanges with my friends.

What, you think it will make you less an ungrateful little bitch in

their eyes to make up some feel good reason?

Most of all, you have the right to BE. Be the person you are. Tell the

truth, not angrily, or vengefully, but truthfully, and let the chips

fall where they may. YOU tell the truth. YOU choose what you want and

need for good health. How THEY react is their problem, not yours, my

friend. Get it?

And after you do, we won t be able to live with you for a week. You

will feel SO good and free.

I dare you.

I double dare you.

I triple dare you.

I triple dog dare you. Now Schwartz had created a breach of etiquette

by skipping over the form and going right for the throat.

( Hey, its Christmas, Christmas Story allusions are in order. )

So, in that line, let this be your Skut Farcus affair. Stand up to the

bullies.

Heal.

Doug

>

> Keeping boudanries and privacy is alsmost impossible with Facebook.

facebook is fun to get or stay in touch with friends but it's creating

a lot of problems in the family sector. Initially, i received

friendship requests from both my narcisisstic father and nada (being

divorced for years and still fighting occasionally).

>

> My father loves to have an audience and is basically FB addicted. And

ME, ME, ME nada, of course loves facebook to 'control' friends and

family, and to have her little audience too. How annoying.

>

> My father feels the need to 'comment' every single post of mine. I got

to the point where I am almost afraid to post anything, because I know

that the little patronizing comment will appear within an hour.

>

> So much so that I finally canceled them both.

>

> Well, within one month, almost simultaneously I received, again,

friendship requests and phone calls on why they cannot post on my wall,

etc.

>

> I don't want to 'befriend them again, but what can I tell them to

avoid WW III?

>

[Guest guest]

Annie? You of all people. One of the strongest of us.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO ANY SUMBITCH IN THE WORLD.

> >

> > My solution is to create groups with different privacy settings.

So, whenever my parents or one of their friends sends me a request, I

just add them to the " family " group I made. That group is only allowed

to see my profile pictures and a little bit of my basic info--only

slightly more info than total strangers who might find me through a

search could see. They cannot see any of my posts or status updates,

and cannot post or comment to my wall. (Though I imagine they might see

what I write to a mutual friend). For me, it has worked out well. You

can also adjust privacy settings for each individual photo album.

> >

> > My mom eventually gave up on facebook because she said she couldn't

figure it out. I know she only signed up to get into my private life

that I wouldn't voluntarily share with her, and when she couldn't do

that she got bored and quit. My dad still has a page, but he can barely

send email, so I'm not sure if he really made it or if she made it for

him to see if I would be willing to share more with him. Either way, it

doesn't matter, because they still don't have access to my personal

details.

> >

> > kt

>

[Guest guest]

Annie? You of all people. One of the strongest of us.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO ANY SUMBITCH IN THE WORLD.

> >

> > My solution is to create groups with different privacy settings.

So, whenever my parents or one of their friends sends me a request, I

just add them to the " family " group I made. That group is only allowed

to see my profile pictures and a little bit of my basic info--only

slightly more info than total strangers who might find me through a

search could see. They cannot see any of my posts or status updates,

and cannot post or comment to my wall. (Though I imagine they might see

what I write to a mutual friend). For me, it has worked out well. You

can also adjust privacy settings for each individual photo album.

> >

> > My mom eventually gave up on facebook because she said she couldn't

figure it out. I know she only signed up to get into my private life

that I wouldn't voluntarily share with her, and when she couldn't do

that she got bored and quit. My dad still has a page, but he can barely

send email, so I'm not sure if he really made it or if she made it for

him to see if I would be willing to share more with him. Either way, it

doesn't matter, because they still don't have access to my personal

details.

> >

> > kt

>

[Guest guest]

Annie? You of all people. One of the strongest of us.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO ANY SUMBITCH IN THE WORLD.

> >

> > My solution is to create groups with different privacy settings.

So, whenever my parents or one of their friends sends me a request, I

just add them to the " family " group I made. That group is only allowed

to see my profile pictures and a little bit of my basic info--only

slightly more info than total strangers who might find me through a

search could see. They cannot see any of my posts or status updates,

and cannot post or comment to my wall. (Though I imagine they might see

what I write to a mutual friend). For me, it has worked out well. You

can also adjust privacy settings for each individual photo album.

> >

> > My mom eventually gave up on facebook because she said she couldn't

figure it out. I know she only signed up to get into my private life

that I wouldn't voluntarily share with her, and when she couldn't do

that she got bored and quit. My dad still has a page, but he can barely

send email, so I'm not sure if he really made it or if she made it for

him to see if I would be willing to share more with him. Either way, it

doesn't matter, because they still don't have access to my personal

details.

> >

> > kt

>

[Guest guest]

@Doug. Doug you are the best!

I know, I should just tell them: " Hey, I am really too old to have both parents

patronize me, and bicker, and comment on MY Facebook wall " .

That heavy FOG blanket once in a while is still there...

Thanks Doug. Hugs

[Guest guest]

@Doug. Doug you are the best!

I know, I should just tell them: " Hey, I am really too old to have both parents

patronize me, and bicker, and comment on MY Facebook wall " .

That heavy FOG blanket once in a while is still there...

Thanks Doug. Hugs

[Guest guest]

@Doug. Doug you are the best!

I know, I should just tell them: " Hey, I am really too old to have both parents

patronize me, and bicker, and comment on MY Facebook wall " .

That heavy FOG blanket once in a while is still there...

Thanks Doug. Hugs

[Guest guest]

Lol!! I know; I realize that I have the right to say " no " to a friend request

on FB. What makes me anxious is that I can never know if this person I don't

know who is asking me to " friend " him or her is just a nice person or if its the

crazy, hostile ex-friend using a new false ID and trying to stalk me again. I

think having been stalked twice in my life (once when I was in college, an

in-person male stalker) and more recently by this ex-friend (female,

cyber-stalking only) has made me permanently leery about the whole thing.

-Annie

>

> Annie? You of all people. One of the strongest of us.

>

> YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO ANY SUMBITCH IN THE WORLD.

[Guest guest]

Thanks! I admit I am grateful that my nada really doesn't want to learn to use

the computer. She's made noises over the last decade or so about wanting to

learn how to get on the Internet and use e-mail, but, she's turned down friends'

(and Sister's) offers to teach her. During her working years nada was skilled

with things like calculators and typing, but her vision is a problem now, and

she didn't learn how to get familiar and comfortable with computers back when

she could see better, so... its sad. There is even a program near her home that

she has attended for visually-impaired seniors, that teaches them how to get

around more safely and retain their independence longer, and this group offers

(or used to offer) a class specifically for visually-impaired senior-citizen

" computer virgins " , but... nada simply never chose to go. I feel sorry for

nada because the Internet is such a wonderful thing for people who can't get out

and about easily any longer, but on the other hand I am selfishly glad that the

Internet is a place that I will never have to worry about encountering her.

-Annie

> > >

> > > Annie? You of all people. One of the strongest of us.

> > >

> > > YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO ANY SUMBITCH IN THE WORLD.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks! I admit I am grateful that my nada really doesn't want to learn to use

the computer. She's made noises over the last decade or so about wanting to

learn how to get on the Internet and use e-mail, but, she's turned down friends'

(and Sister's) offers to teach her. During her working years nada was skilled

with things like calculators and typing, but her vision is a problem now, and

she didn't learn how to get familiar and comfortable with computers back when

she could see better, so... its sad. There is even a program near her home that

she has attended for visually-impaired seniors, that teaches them how to get

around more safely and retain their independence longer, and this group offers

(or used to offer) a class specifically for visually-impaired senior-citizen

" computer virgins " , but... nada simply never chose to go. I feel sorry for

nada because the Internet is such a wonderful thing for people who can't get out

and about easily any longer, but on the other hand I am selfishly glad that the

Internet is a place that I will never have to worry about encountering her.

-Annie

> > >

> > > Annie? You of all people. One of the strongest of us.

> > >

> > > YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO ANY SUMBITCH IN THE WORLD.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

If I feel " bad " about not friending someone, usually its someone I knew at

school who I didnt really know or like anyway, Ill accept the request, then 2

monthsd down the track Ill take them off.

When you " unfriend " someone they dont get notified of it. The only way they will

know is by trying to get onto your profile. So it works well. Most people friend

heaps of people and then never look at their profile for yonks.

As for family, I simply refuse to accept their requests. One sister and my

brother are friended, everyone else can go jump. If they dont like it, stiff

titties. I also have the strongest securuty settings so people cannot search for

my name, let alone see my profile.

Often I go through my friend list and cull those I dont want to keep in contact

with. Im brutal. ;]

> >

> It makes me feel bad to ignore my FB account because it seems more rude than

not having an account to begin with, but I find it anxiety-inducing to be asked

to " friend " people I don't know.

> >

>

>

> LOL...only a KO would feel guilty about not checking a voluntary site ;-) I

say, don't worry about it. A lot of folks only check in every so often. It's

totally not rude to ignore the place. If somebody really needs to reach you,

they'll know how to email or call you. Most of the things on fb are really

mundane.

>

> I never accept a request from someone I don't know in real life. You can have

any rules you want about what connections you want to make there. Some people

like having only a few close, real-life friends, while some like to connect with

everyone. It's up to you.

>

> I'm sorry your un-friend cyberstalked you...that must have been awful. I

imagine that would definitely make me more guarded about my online privacy, too!

>

> KT

>

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

Teens went through a phase where they said parents were highjacking facebook, so

they complained en masse and then moved on to tweeting or telepathy or whatever

that parents are too tech-dumb to figure out. Have you seen the news articles

where kids got tired of their mom, etc. on facebook?

So... if you WANT some reason, just say it's your peer group, not for family.

Lots of people do this. Then you can send photo links via e-mail instead to let

them feel included.

(This only applies to MINIMALLY abusive nadas/fadas/foos with whom you still

communicate and/or visit, of course.)

p.s. I just got off the thing anyway because it depressed me reading all those

BPD-like, look-at-me posts and took time away from real communion here.

+Coal Miner's Daughter

p.p.s. Doug is 100% right, of course! (No a**kissing here, just the truth)

>

>

> @Doug. Doug you are the best!

> I know, I should just tell them: " Hey, I am really too old to have both

parents patronize me, and bicker, and comment on MY Facebook wall " .

>

> That heavy FOG blanket once in a while is still there...

> Thanks Doug. Hugs

>

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

Teens went through a phase where they said parents were highjacking facebook, so

they complained en masse and then moved on to tweeting or telepathy or whatever

that parents are too tech-dumb to figure out. Have you seen the news articles

where kids got tired of their mom, etc. on facebook?

So... if you WANT some reason, just say it's your peer group, not for family.

Lots of people do this. Then you can send photo links via e-mail instead to let

them feel included.

(This only applies to MINIMALLY abusive nadas/fadas/foos with whom you still

communicate and/or visit, of course.)

p.s. I just got off the thing anyway because it depressed me reading all those

BPD-like, look-at-me posts and took time away from real communion here.

+Coal Miner's Daughter

p.p.s. Doug is 100% right, of course! (No a**kissing here, just the truth)

>

>

> @Doug. Doug you are the best!

> I know, I should just tell them: " Hey, I am really too old to have both

parents patronize me, and bicker, and comment on MY Facebook wall " .

>

> That heavy FOG blanket once in a while is still there...

> Thanks Doug. Hugs

>

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

Teens went through a phase where they said parents were highjacking facebook, so

they complained en masse and then moved on to tweeting or telepathy or whatever

that parents are too tech-dumb to figure out. Have you seen the news articles

where kids got tired of their mom, etc. on facebook?

So... if you WANT some reason, just say it's your peer group, not for family.

Lots of people do this. Then you can send photo links via e-mail instead to let

them feel included.

(This only applies to MINIMALLY abusive nadas/fadas/foos with whom you still

communicate and/or visit, of course.)

p.s. I just got off the thing anyway because it depressed me reading all those

BPD-like, look-at-me posts and took time away from real communion here.

+Coal Miner's Daughter

p.p.s. Doug is 100% right, of course! (No a**kissing here, just the truth)

>

>

> @Doug. Doug you are the best!

> I know, I should just tell them: " Hey, I am really too old to have both

parents patronize me, and bicker, and comment on MY Facebook wall " .

>

> That heavy FOG blanket once in a while is still there...

> Thanks Doug. Hugs

>

[Guest guest]

Hey,

Maybe I'm missing something here, but why would we accept a friend invitation

from someone we don't know anyway? Most of those are like porn/hook-up people

from what I understand, or they run some kind of business and they want to post

on your wall for advertisement.

I apologize in advance if I'm not reading carefully enough and missed the point.

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>

> Lol!! I know; I realize that I have the right to say " no " to a friend request

on FB. What makes me anxious is that I can never know if this person I don't

know who is asking me to " friend " him or her is just a nice person or if its the

crazy, hostile ex-friend using a new false ID and trying to stalk me again. I

think having been stalked twice in my life (once when I was in college, an

in-person male stalker) and more recently by this ex-friend (female,

cyber-stalking only) has made me permanently leery about the whole thing.

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Hey,

Maybe I'm missing something here, but why would we accept a friend invitation

from someone we don't know anyway? Most of those are like porn/hook-up people

from what I understand, or they run some kind of business and they want to post

on your wall for advertisement.

I apologize in advance if I'm not reading carefully enough and missed the point.

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>

> Lol!! I know; I realize that I have the right to say " no " to a friend request

on FB. What makes me anxious is that I can never know if this person I don't

know who is asking me to " friend " him or her is just a nice person or if its the

crazy, hostile ex-friend using a new false ID and trying to stalk me again. I

think having been stalked twice in my life (once when I was in college, an

in-person male stalker) and more recently by this ex-friend (female,

cyber-stalking only) has made me permanently leery about the whole thing.

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Hi again Annie!

Has your nada ever used the Library of Congress National Library Service? My

grandfada qualified for it even when he could still see pretty well. They have

free books on tape for the visually impaired. They send them directly to the

house.

I know it's SO NOT YOUR JOB to help her, but I thought I'd mention it in case

you wanted to pass the info along to your sis.

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>

> Thanks! I admit I am grateful that my nada really doesn't want to learn to

use the computer. She's made noises over the last decade or so about wanting to

learn how to get on the Internet and use e-mail, but, she's turned down friends'

(and Sister's) offers to teach her. During her working years nada was skilled

with things like calculators and typing, but her vision is a problem now, and

she didn't learn how to get familiar and comfortable with computers back when

she could see better, so... its sad. There is even a program near her home that

she has attended for visually-impaired seniors, that teaches them how to get

around more safely and retain their independence longer, and this group offers

(or used to offer) a class specifically for visually-impaired senior-citizen

" computer virgins " , but... nada simply never chose to go. I feel sorry for

nada because the Internet is such a wonderful thing for people who can't get out

and about easily any longer, but on the other hand I am selfishly glad that the

Internet is a place that I will never have to worry about encountering her.

>

> -Annie

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi again Annie!

Has your nada ever used the Library of Congress National Library Service? My

grandfada qualified for it even when he could still see pretty well. They have

free books on tape for the visually impaired. They send them directly to the

house.

I know it's SO NOT YOUR JOB to help her, but I thought I'd mention it in case

you wanted to pass the info along to your sis.

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>

> Thanks! I admit I am grateful that my nada really doesn't want to learn to

use the computer. She's made noises over the last decade or so about wanting to

learn how to get on the Internet and use e-mail, but, she's turned down friends'

(and Sister's) offers to teach her. During her working years nada was skilled

with things like calculators and typing, but her vision is a problem now, and

she didn't learn how to get familiar and comfortable with computers back when

she could see better, so... its sad. There is even a program near her home that

she has attended for visually-impaired seniors, that teaches them how to get

around more safely and retain their independence longer, and this group offers

(or used to offer) a class specifically for visually-impaired senior-citizen

" computer virgins " , but... nada simply never chose to go. I feel sorry for

nada because the Internet is such a wonderful thing for people who can't get out

and about easily any longer, but on the other hand I am selfishly glad that the

Internet is a place that I will never have to worry about encountering her.

>

> -Annie

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi again Annie!

Has your nada ever used the Library of Congress National Library Service? My

grandfada qualified for it even when he could still see pretty well. They have

free books on tape for the visually impaired. They send them directly to the

house.

I know it's SO NOT YOUR JOB to help her, but I thought I'd mention it in case

you wanted to pass the info along to your sis.

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>

> Thanks! I admit I am grateful that my nada really doesn't want to learn to

use the computer. She's made noises over the last decade or so about wanting to

learn how to get on the Internet and use e-mail, but, she's turned down friends'

(and Sister's) offers to teach her. During her working years nada was skilled

with things like calculators and typing, but her vision is a problem now, and

she didn't learn how to get familiar and comfortable with computers back when

she could see better, so... its sad. There is even a program near her home that

she has attended for visually-impaired seniors, that teaches them how to get

around more safely and retain their independence longer, and this group offers

(or used to offer) a class specifically for visually-impaired senior-citizen

" computer virgins " , but... nada simply never chose to go. I feel sorry for

nada because the Internet is such a wonderful thing for people who can't get out

and about easily any longer, but on the other hand I am selfishly glad that the

Internet is a place that I will never have to worry about encountering her.

>

> -Annie

>

>

[Guest guest]

At Facebook, your friend " A " 's friend " B " (or your friend's friend's friend)

might ask you to friend them. Maybe I did meet person " B " once at a party, and

I just don't remember. Or maybe someone I do know in real life recommends that

I friend this individual I don't know personally, like an introduction. Or

maybe its someone I took a class with once in college, or used to know in high

school. It just makes me anxious, probably because I have had trouble with

stalking in the past. So, I just don't go there very much.

-Annie

> >

> > Lol!! I know; I realize that I have the right to say " no " to a friend

request on FB. What makes me anxious is that I can never know if this person I

don't know who is asking me to " friend " him or her is just a nice person or if

its the crazy, hostile ex-friend using a new false ID and trying to stalk me

again. I think having been stalked twice in my life (once when I was in

college, an in-person male stalker) and more recently by this ex-friend (female,

cyber-stalking only) has made me permanently leery about the whole thing.

> > -Annie

> >

>