Just gone from LC to NC with my sister.

[Guest guest]

Ahhh, Christmas! It really does bring out the crazy in people! I can smell it in

the air!! Hear it in the trees!!

Sorry - this is going to be a long one.

I just had the most loooovely conversation with my sister. And by lovely, I mean

freaking insane, off the planet nuttiness and aggro. She is the sister with the

two toddlers who have recently been diagnosed with a genetic bone disorder - the

last we all heard, they were doing fine and had no major problems, although they

will need surgeries and may only live to about the age of 40.

Ive just sent an email to my other sister (who Ive called XX in the email below)

and brother, who will no doubt recieve their own aggro phone calls today,

informing them of my intention to go NC. Since they are generally the " crawdads "

that drag me back in when things blow up, I figure Ill explain it once and never

mention it again.

" Hi guys,

Just letting you know that Ive just had a conversation with RR, where I

mentioned I was thinking of having (all the siblings)and the kids over my place

for a Christmas Eve dinner. She did her usual prickly/offended/silent pauses

thing, and said that xx and yy were " expected " (ie obligated) to spend that time

with her (without the rest of us), and that I was inconsiderate for inviting xx

to something else, and sneered at the idea of having zz present. I had no idea

she had planned something for Christmas Eve, so I said no worries, and left it

at that. She obviously wanted to argue, but I really didnt want to get into it.

About 5 minutes afterwards, she sent a message saying " the boys will die soon

and I said in or out. But your always going to be a cow so you can f$#k off " . In

or out of what, Ive got no idea.

Now I think Ive reached my tolerance level for this rubbish. All this upset,

claiming her kids are on deaths door, because I invited xx over for dinner? This

is INSANE.

At this point dinner is off. Im not going to treat xx like a bone to be growled

over, its stupid. I will not be having any contact with RR in future until she

gets treated for what is obviously a mental illness. Noone in their right mind

is this illogical and aggressive. Im not asking that you guys get involved or

talk to her about it, I dont have a problem with you spending time with her

etc. I just thought Id give you the heads up and please dont ask me to " be the

adult " and get back in contact with her. Ive done that dozens of times and it

has never achieved anything constructive.

If her kids are actually on deaths door, I dont believe it gives her the right

to treat people with disrespect. If they arent, and she is simply saying it to

try to manipulate me - then she is despicable. I really hope she isnt the kind

of parent uses a childs disability like that.

Anyhow, this is what Ive sent her, stuff Ive wanted to say for a long time, and

this is the end of it for me. I will not read any emails, SMSs or recieve any

phonecalls from her from now on. Just for the record, you ARE the kind of

sister/brother I talk about below, and I will always be grateful that. You are

both wonderful people and I love you very much. "

The email to RR (the nutty sister):

" It would be nice to have a sister that I can talk to. Not about the weather, or

work, or other airy-fairy topics, but actually TALK to about something – without

the sister taking offence or chucking a hissy fit. Id like to have a sister that

isn't hard work to get along with. Someone who genuinely cares about others and

would give you support if you needed it – instead of feeling like they only give

a crap when it makes her feel good about herself. Someone who I can talk to

without watching every word I say in case it is taken the wrong way. Someone you

can actually look forward to spending time with.

Someone who thinks logically and rationally. Someone who doesn't pick fights

with everyone they know. Someone who doesn't try guilt-trips to get what they

want. Someone who can be pleasant to others even when they aren't having the

best day. Someone who uses manners. Someone who takes responsibility for the

upset they cause others instead of blaming everyone else.

Someone doesn't stoop so low as using their kids illness as weapons in

arguments.

Someone who I can disagree with who doesn't hold a ridiculous grudge. Someone

who will say sorry if they cause an upset. Someone who makes an effort to get

along.

Someone who can recognise when they have a problem affecting their relationships

with others.

Thats the kind of sister I would like. You are not it. How long do you really

think I would put up with this constant cycle? How many times did you think I

would try to keep a relationship going between us? It never works!!! Im not

going to keep banging my head against a brick wall, I just don't have the

patience for it anymore. I wouldn't put up with the constant aggro from a

friend; I am not going to put up with it from you.

You wont be hearing from me again unless something major changes. "

And that is that. By major change, I mean psychiatric help.

The funny thing is, she never spends christmas with anyone anyway, so the rest

of us always have some kind of a do somewhere for the other kiddies (without

nada). If, for the first time in 10 years, she wanted to do a get together her

house for her kids, we would all be happy about it!! Even if half of us arent

invited! I cant help thinking she invented the whole idea of having siblings at

her house, just so I couldnt. The impression I got is that she feels she " owns "

the other siblings.

I knew she was similar to nada, but this has taken it to a new level

particularly by exaggerating her kids illnesses. I think she has finally crossed

over into Nadaland.

I am quite relived I dont have to take the aggro phonecalls and SMSs anymore :]

[Guest guest]

Just got confirmation from the rest of the family - my nephews are fine. They

are not " going to die soon " .

The BPDish sister has also sent nasty messages to other sisters accusing them of

being selfish and nasty if they consider spending time with their partners over

christmas, instead of being at her house (which she hasnt invited anyone to as

yet).

Everyone has said that they would prefer to come to my house than be dictated

to. So dinner is back on ;]