Re: Partner does not support IE

[Guest guest]

.... I feel I need to honor his path ... Any

suggestions?

Yes. You are honouring his path.

Is he honouring yours?

It works both ways.

Here is an idea. Have a cupboard where you keep foods that you want

and that he does not.

When you eat out, order what you want. After all, if you eat with

friends, does he tell his friends not to order something that would

trigger him?

Paddy

[Guest guest]

Gracianne that is a big starting point for you to have set in front of you. It

seems to me that partnership is about supporting each other - you him and he

you. If he chooses to view his eating as an 'addiction' (which I don't agree

with, but that's another story), then HE needs to claim the responsibility for

HIS choices just like you will for yours. His decision to work from this point

of view can find support at OA or other 12 steps programs that deal with

'addiction' issues. He will soon find that just because he is an 'addict'

doesn't mean that the rest of the world will abstain to not trigger him.

Your choice has been to go another way regarding food issues. Asking him to

honor YOUR choices and needs are just as valid as his are. Now comes the work of

finding a way to need both of your needs - by yourselves - while honoring the

other - as best you can. Its not a perfect world and neither of you are more

'caretaker' or 'victim' than the other.

PHEW! what a heavy start, perhaps I can lighten up a bit now. I could share with

you what I would do, but that isn't the goal of this group or IE for that

matter. You can continue to do what is 'working' for you both at this moment and

also make some quiet time for yourself to THINK about 1) what you need and 2)

ways that will work for you to start practicing IE as you chose.

The difference between dieting and IE is rather night and day-ish. Dieting is

dictating - rules, dos and (mainly) don'ts. IEing is about changes that YOU

select and returning to trusting your own body as the authority regarding food

and eating. Perhaps the best place for you to start is the IE suggestion to Be

Gentle With Yourself. You can do this, just gift yourself some time and don't

'push' for perfection ;-)

BEST wishes, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hey everyone. New here and just diving in. One of my struggles is that my

partner calls himself a food addict and is very restrictive with what he lets

himself eat. So we have no sweets or snacky food in the house because these are

binge foods. He was obese & lost a lot of weight by being restrictive and I

feel I need to honor his path by not having those foods around. So I end up

buying them and eating them in my car before going home and don't feel

comfortable ordering any food at restaurants that might trigger him. (he is

struggling again with his own addiction) So I want to practice IE and not label

foods yet I live with someone who can't have certain foods around. I want to be

authentic in my path of IE and I want to honor his path also. Any suggestions?

>