Re: A Great Way to Beat The No Real Family/I'm All Alone Christmas

[Guest guest]

Hey, how do you do a yankee swap? Cool

>

>

> I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It us

> basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous!

> You can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there,

> but anyway.

>

> Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

> pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

> Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and

> no friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I

> devised a different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it

> doesn't alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add

> considerable cheer to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

>

> I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

> ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

> cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them

> all gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and

> most of all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!'

> feeling. In that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of

> course over the years this band of friends have become friends with each

> other, but they normally only see each other when I get all of us together

> for other non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like

> everyone's birthday party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it

> doesn't matter - it's fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese

> restaurant because by then we are all SICK of winter already in the

> northeast and it's great fun for a night out.

>

> So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

> Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

>

> I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their

> nada or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey, how do you do a yankee swap? Cool

>

>

> I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It us

> basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous!

> You can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there,

> but anyway.

>

> Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

> pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

> Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and

> no friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I

> devised a different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it

> doesn't alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add

> considerable cheer to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

>

> I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

> ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

> cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them

> all gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and

> most of all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!'

> feeling. In that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of

> course over the years this band of friends have become friends with each

> other, but they normally only see each other when I get all of us together

> for other non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like

> everyone's birthday party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it

> doesn't matter - it's fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese

> restaurant because by then we are all SICK of winter already in the

> northeast and it's great fun for a night out.

>

> So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

> Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

>

> I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their

> nada or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is a lovely way to have a Christmas celebration, I agree! Similarly, I

belong to a couple of different interest groups and we get together regularly

for dinner meet-ups and parties. This year, both of them are having their Yule

party this Saturday, so I have to pick one, but, there is always next year.

I had two " Thanksgiving " dinners last month, neither of them actually on

Thanksgiving, but, that's OK. I have semi-regular meet -ups at my place for a

music interest group, and sometimes I cook for those and sometimes we order

something delivered.

The idea is to make a chosen family for ourselves. We are not limited to

socializing with whoever it is we happen to have been born to. If your family

of origin is toxic, well, there are a lot of really nice, kind people out there

who would love to meet you and share interests with you, and all you have to do

is find them.

I'm happy for you that you started your early Christmas party tradition, that's

great!

-Annie

>

> I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is basically

about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You can watch

it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but anyway.

>

> Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

>

> I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

>

> So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

>

> I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

[Guest guest]

That is a lovely way to have a Christmas celebration, I agree! Similarly, I

belong to a couple of different interest groups and we get together regularly

for dinner meet-ups and parties. This year, both of them are having their Yule

party this Saturday, so I have to pick one, but, there is always next year.

I had two " Thanksgiving " dinners last month, neither of them actually on

Thanksgiving, but, that's OK. I have semi-regular meet -ups at my place for a

music interest group, and sometimes I cook for those and sometimes we order

something delivered.

The idea is to make a chosen family for ourselves. We are not limited to

socializing with whoever it is we happen to have been born to. If your family

of origin is toxic, well, there are a lot of really nice, kind people out there

who would love to meet you and share interests with you, and all you have to do

is find them.

I'm happy for you that you started your early Christmas party tradition, that's

great!

-Annie

>

> I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is basically

about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You can watch

it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but anyway.

>

> Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

>

> I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

>

> So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

>

> I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

[Guest guest]

That is a lovely way to have a Christmas celebration, I agree! Similarly, I

belong to a couple of different interest groups and we get together regularly

for dinner meet-ups and parties. This year, both of them are having their Yule

party this Saturday, so I have to pick one, but, there is always next year.

I had two " Thanksgiving " dinners last month, neither of them actually on

Thanksgiving, but, that's OK. I have semi-regular meet -ups at my place for a

music interest group, and sometimes I cook for those and sometimes we order

something delivered.

The idea is to make a chosen family for ourselves. We are not limited to

socializing with whoever it is we happen to have been born to. If your family

of origin is toxic, well, there are a lot of really nice, kind people out there

who would love to meet you and share interests with you, and all you have to do

is find them.

I'm happy for you that you started your early Christmas party tradition, that's

great!

-Annie

>

> I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is basically

about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You can watch

it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but anyway.

>

> Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

>

> I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

>

> So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

>

> I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

[Guest guest]

It is a good idea.

We have celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas this way for years. Invitations

for our annual Christmas Eve party went out to 40 people; we will probably have

around 25. We jokingly call them our waifs and strays.

Our largest Thanksgiving was Nada, Dad, me, DH, DD and 20 other assorted people.

It's fun - and Nadas have to behave, lol.

Sent from my blueberry.

> That is a lovely way to have a Christmas celebration, I agree! Similarly, I

belong to a couple of different interest groups and we get together regularly

for dinner meet-ups and parties. This year, both of them are having their Yule

party this Saturday, so I have to pick one, but, there is always next year. I

had two " Thanksgiving " dinners last month, neither of them actually on

Thanksgiving, but, that's OK. I have semi-regular meet -ups at my place for a

music interest group, and sometimes I cook for those and sometimes we order

something delivered.

>

> The idea is to make a chosen family for ourselves. We are not limited to

socializing with whoever it is we happen to have been born to. If your family of

origin is toxic, well, there are a lot of really nice, kind people out there who

would love to meet you and share interests with you, and all you have to do is

find them.

>

> I'm happy for you that you started your early Christmas party tradition,

that's great!

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is

basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You

can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but

anyway.

> >

> > Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

> >

> > I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I cook

and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all gifts

of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of all

alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In that I

tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the years this

band of friends have become friends with each other, but they normally only see

each other when I get all of us together for other non-traditional holidays and

some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday party or Chinese New Year

(none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's fun anyway). For that we all

meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then we are all SICK of winter

already in the northeast and it's great fun for a night out.

> >

> > So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

> >

> > I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

> __._,_.__

>

[Guest guest]

It is a good idea.

We have celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas this way for years. Invitations

for our annual Christmas Eve party went out to 40 people; we will probably have

around 25. We jokingly call them our waifs and strays.

Our largest Thanksgiving was Nada, Dad, me, DH, DD and 20 other assorted people.

It's fun - and Nadas have to behave, lol.

Sent from my blueberry.

> That is a lovely way to have a Christmas celebration, I agree! Similarly, I

belong to a couple of different interest groups and we get together regularly

for dinner meet-ups and parties. This year, both of them are having their Yule

party this Saturday, so I have to pick one, but, there is always next year. I

had two " Thanksgiving " dinners last month, neither of them actually on

Thanksgiving, but, that's OK. I have semi-regular meet -ups at my place for a

music interest group, and sometimes I cook for those and sometimes we order

something delivered.

>

> The idea is to make a chosen family for ourselves. We are not limited to

socializing with whoever it is we happen to have been born to. If your family of

origin is toxic, well, there are a lot of really nice, kind people out there who

would love to meet you and share interests with you, and all you have to do is

find them.

>

> I'm happy for you that you started your early Christmas party tradition,

that's great!

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is

basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You

can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but

anyway.

> >

> > Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

> >

> > I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I cook

and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all gifts

of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of all

alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In that I

tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the years this

band of friends have become friends with each other, but they normally only see

each other when I get all of us together for other non-traditional holidays and

some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday party or Chinese New Year

(none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's fun anyway). For that we all

meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then we are all SICK of winter

already in the northeast and it's great fun for a night out.

> >

> > So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

> >

> > I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

> __._,_.__

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for laying out this " how-to " for the holidays. You obviously know how to

pull off a social event, making people feel relaxed in your home, and allowing

them to have fun. How do I know? Because if you were running this yearly event

like a BPD/NPD no " friends " would show up a second time! I'm sure acquiring

these skills independent of the PDs in your family was no small effort. How did

you do it?

AFB

>

> I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is basically

about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You can watch

it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but anyway.

>

> Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

>

> I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

>

> So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

>

> I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for laying out this " how-to " for the holidays. You obviously know how to

pull off a social event, making people feel relaxed in your home, and allowing

them to have fun. How do I know? Because if you were running this yearly event

like a BPD/NPD no " friends " would show up a second time! I'm sure acquiring

these skills independent of the PDs in your family was no small effort. How did

you do it?

AFB

>

> I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is basically

about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You can watch

it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but anyway.

>

> Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

>

> I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

>

> So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

>

> I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for laying out this " how-to " for the holidays. You obviously know how to

pull off a social event, making people feel relaxed in your home, and allowing

them to have fun. How do I know? Because if you were running this yearly event

like a BPD/NPD no " friends " would show up a second time! I'm sure acquiring

these skills independent of the PDs in your family was no small effort. How did

you do it?

AFB

>

> I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is basically

about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You can watch

it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but anyway.

>

> Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

>

> I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

>

> So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

>

> I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>

[Guest guest]

The idea is to make a chosen family for ourselves. We are not limited to

socializing with whoever it is we happen to have been born to.

I completely agree!! My kid has 2 crazy nadas ( has almost no contact with any

of them) But when I was pregnant a mother of my good friend ( he is like a

brother to me and her mother and I liked eachother a lot ) asked me is she can

be a godmother to my child. When my son was born she felt completely in loved in

him ( and her husband too) They became his grandma and grandpa ( the best

grandparents in the world - they are beautiful persons and for me they are the

real mother and father to me) My son called them grandma and granpa and almost

everybody think that we are relatives ( after a while we where to bored with

explaining things so we stopped ...) He still is very attached to them ( and he

is 18 y old) And my friedn (her real son ) is happy to .- because he doesn't

want to have child and he is out of " pressure " to make grand kids now:-))

And when my son has 2 years i met few nice people with kids. We where quite

idealistic and we decided to make our own kindergarten because we where not

satisfied with the existing ones. And we did it- even formally. . We made the

rules, decided who would be a teacher, the program...everything. Imagine how is

to trying to set the rules if everybody has the same right. to decide:-))....we

where hours and hours together with kids in nature or in kinder playgrounds or

in our homes and disscuse about that. We where from all backgrounds - from

mother from ministry to a father carpenter. - literally every background) At

the beginning they look at us like we are some lunatics but at the end we where

known like one of the best kindergarten in town and kindergarten teacher from

around come to see and learn how it could be done. They called us a tribe

because it was usual that sometimes after the kindergarten I took 3-4 kids and

they went to my home for a day or my kid went to ours to spend the night

there. I was sure they would take care for him like for their own.. We went

together on trips have crazy beatiful birthdays - but the most funny thing it

was that people who didn't know us and they were together with us sometimes

couldn't figured out (at first )which child is from whom - we take care for

everybody the same way. The kids are grown up now and still friends. Some of the

parents are still good Friends some are away in different life now.

So when my son was born we were completely alone without any help ( and crazy

father of my son who even wanted to kill us when I was leaving him because of

violence) . Few years latter we had the best grandmother and grandfather in the

world and my son has a bunch of " cousins " and a lot of families where he felt

completely at home.

So ti can work if you are stubborn and " crazy " enough to stick to your decision

that you would make your kids and yourself better life that you where living

in.

> >

> > I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is

basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You

can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but

anyway.

> >

> > Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

> >

> > I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

> >

> > So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

> >

> > I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

The idea is to make a chosen family for ourselves. We are not limited to

socializing with whoever it is we happen to have been born to.

I completely agree!! My kid has 2 crazy nadas ( has almost no contact with any

of them) But when I was pregnant a mother of my good friend ( he is like a

brother to me and her mother and I liked eachother a lot ) asked me is she can

be a godmother to my child. When my son was born she felt completely in loved in

him ( and her husband too) They became his grandma and grandpa ( the best

grandparents in the world - they are beautiful persons and for me they are the

real mother and father to me) My son called them grandma and granpa and almost

everybody think that we are relatives ( after a while we where to bored with

explaining things so we stopped ...) He still is very attached to them ( and he

is 18 y old) And my friedn (her real son ) is happy to .- because he doesn't

want to have child and he is out of " pressure " to make grand kids now:-))

And when my son has 2 years i met few nice people with kids. We where quite

idealistic and we decided to make our own kindergarten because we where not

satisfied with the existing ones. And we did it- even formally. . We made the

rules, decided who would be a teacher, the program...everything. Imagine how is

to trying to set the rules if everybody has the same right. to decide:-))....we

where hours and hours together with kids in nature or in kinder playgrounds or

in our homes and disscuse about that. We where from all backgrounds - from

mother from ministry to a father carpenter. - literally every background) At

the beginning they look at us like we are some lunatics but at the end we where

known like one of the best kindergarten in town and kindergarten teacher from

around come to see and learn how it could be done. They called us a tribe

because it was usual that sometimes after the kindergarten I took 3-4 kids and

they went to my home for a day or my kid went to ours to spend the night

there. I was sure they would take care for him like for their own.. We went

together on trips have crazy beatiful birthdays - but the most funny thing it

was that people who didn't know us and they were together with us sometimes

couldn't figured out (at first )which child is from whom - we take care for

everybody the same way. The kids are grown up now and still friends. Some of the

parents are still good Friends some are away in different life now.

So when my son was born we were completely alone without any help ( and crazy

father of my son who even wanted to kill us when I was leaving him because of

violence) . Few years latter we had the best grandmother and grandfather in the

world and my son has a bunch of " cousins " and a lot of families where he felt

completely at home.

So ti can work if you are stubborn and " crazy " enough to stick to your decision

that you would make your kids and yourself better life that you where living

in.

> >

> > I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is

basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You

can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but

anyway.

> >

> > Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

> >

> > I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

> >

> > So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

> >

> > I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

The idea is to make a chosen family for ourselves. We are not limited to

socializing with whoever it is we happen to have been born to.

I completely agree!! My kid has 2 crazy nadas ( has almost no contact with any

of them) But when I was pregnant a mother of my good friend ( he is like a

brother to me and her mother and I liked eachother a lot ) asked me is she can

be a godmother to my child. When my son was born she felt completely in loved in

him ( and her husband too) They became his grandma and grandpa ( the best

grandparents in the world - they are beautiful persons and for me they are the

real mother and father to me) My son called them grandma and granpa and almost

everybody think that we are relatives ( after a while we where to bored with

explaining things so we stopped ...) He still is very attached to them ( and he

is 18 y old) And my friedn (her real son ) is happy to .- because he doesn't

want to have child and he is out of " pressure " to make grand kids now:-))

And when my son has 2 years i met few nice people with kids. We where quite

idealistic and we decided to make our own kindergarten because we where not

satisfied with the existing ones. And we did it- even formally. . We made the

rules, decided who would be a teacher, the program...everything. Imagine how is

to trying to set the rules if everybody has the same right. to decide:-))....we

where hours and hours together with kids in nature or in kinder playgrounds or

in our homes and disscuse about that. We where from all backgrounds - from

mother from ministry to a father carpenter. - literally every background) At

the beginning they look at us like we are some lunatics but at the end we where

known like one of the best kindergarten in town and kindergarten teacher from

around come to see and learn how it could be done. They called us a tribe

because it was usual that sometimes after the kindergarten I took 3-4 kids and

they went to my home for a day or my kid went to ours to spend the night

there. I was sure they would take care for him like for their own.. We went

together on trips have crazy beatiful birthdays - but the most funny thing it

was that people who didn't know us and they were together with us sometimes

couldn't figured out (at first )which child is from whom - we take care for

everybody the same way. The kids are grown up now and still friends. Some of the

parents are still good Friends some are away in different life now.

So when my son was born we were completely alone without any help ( and crazy

father of my son who even wanted to kill us when I was leaving him because of

violence) . Few years latter we had the best grandmother and grandfather in the

world and my son has a bunch of " cousins " and a lot of families where he felt

completely at home.

So ti can work if you are stubborn and " crazy " enough to stick to your decision

that you would make your kids and yourself better life that you where living

in.

> >

> > I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is

basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You

can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but

anyway.

> >

> > Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

> >

> > I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

> >

> > So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

> >

> > I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry for my English - when I get excited I forget all the roules...:-))) and it

is so heavy for me to write so slow and to think a lot how and where I have to

put some word :-)

> > >

> > > I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is

basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You

can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but

anyway.

> > >

> > > Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

> > >

> > > I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my

family ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here.

I cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

> > >

> > > So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that

my Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

> > >

> > > I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their

nada or fada or other family for what ever reason.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry for my English - when I get excited I forget all the roules...:-))) and it

is so heavy for me to write so slow and to think a lot how and where I have to

put some word :-)

> > >

> > > I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is

basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You

can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but

anyway.

> > >

> > > Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

> > >

> > > I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my

family ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here.

I cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

> > >

> > > So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that

my Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

> > >

> > > I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their

nada or fada or other family for what ever reason.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Your English is fine! I am embarrassed that I don't speak a second language at

all, I am in awe of those who can communicate in more than their birth-language.

I took some French classes in high school but its all gone out of my head now

from never using it.

-Annie

> > > >

> > > > I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is

basically about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You

can watch it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but

anyway.

> > > >

> > > > Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone

and pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

> > > >

> > > > I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my

family ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here.

I cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

> > > >

> > > > So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After

that my Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

> > > >

> > > > I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their

nada or fada or other family for what ever reason.

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Honestly, i find I enjoy the holidays much more with people I don't share blood

with!

There's no history or baggage. Just a common desire to enjoy a meal and good

company.

L'chaim!!

>

> I watched " Noel " on fancast.com last night and cried buckets. It is basically

about loneliness on Christmas Eve and the stories are tremendous! You can watch

it for free on your computer under 'holiday movies' on there, but anyway.

>

> Every year for the last ten Christmases I have found myself all alone and

pretty miserable. My only company were mostly perverts and weirdos on Yahoo

Messenger who also had no family they bothered with for whatever reason and no

friends who weren't busy with their own families like mine were, but I devised a

different plan for myself which works somewhat well and while it doesn't

alleviate the loneliness on the holiday itself, it does add considerable cheer

to an otherwise horrible holiday to be alone on.

>

> I invite all my close friends who are more like family to me than my family

ever was to my place a Saturday or two before Christmas for a party here. I

cook and bake for almost a week making it a gourmet celebration; buy them all

gifts of course ahead of time and do a Yankee Swap which adds fun and most of

all alleviates some of the " I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE?!' feeling. In

that I tell them to do what their heart tells them to do. Of course over the

years this band of friends have become friends with each other, but they

normally only see each other when I get all of us together for other

non-traditional holidays and some traditional occasions like everyone's birthday

party or Chinese New Year (none of us are Asian but it doesn't matter - it's

fun anyway). For that we all meet at a local Chinese restaurant because by then

we are all SICK of winter already in the northeast and it's great fun for a

night out.

>

> So my Christmas this year is this coming Saturday, Dec. 11th. After that my

Christmas is over more or less but it is really fun.

>

> I hope this helps someone else in the group who also does not see their nada

or fada or other family for what ever reason.

>