Re: Tangled (the movie)

[Guest guest]

Haven't seen the movie, but I see what you're saying.  I had problems watching I

Am Sam, the movie with Penn as the mentally diabled parent of 6 year old

Dakota Fanning.  The movie was all about what a good dad he was, considering his

ability, and everyone felt he should get to keep her in the end.  I felt total

injustice for the little girl, who basically had no one to parent her and had to

actually become his parent, reading him bedtime stories etc.  I guess because I

sort of had her life, only with a BP mother who couldn't meet my needs, just

like Sam couldn't meet the needs of his daughter. 

[Guest guest]

Haven't seen the movie, but I see what you're saying.  I had problems watching I

Am Sam, the movie with Penn as the mentally diabled parent of 6 year old

Dakota Fanning.  The movie was all about what a good dad he was, considering his

ability, and everyone felt he should get to keep her in the end.  I felt total

injustice for the little girl, who basically had no one to parent her and had to

actually become his parent, reading him bedtime stories etc.  I guess because I

sort of had her life, only with a BP mother who couldn't meet my needs, just

like Sam couldn't meet the needs of his daughter. 

[Guest guest]

Haven't seen the movie, but I see what you're saying.  I had problems watching I

Am Sam, the movie with Penn as the mentally diabled parent of 6 year old

Dakota Fanning.  The movie was all about what a good dad he was, considering his

ability, and everyone felt he should get to keep her in the end.  I felt total

injustice for the little girl, who basically had no one to parent her and had to

actually become his parent, reading him bedtime stories etc.  I guess because I

sort of had her life, only with a BP mother who couldn't meet my needs, just

like Sam couldn't meet the needs of his daughter. 

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the head's up RE " Tangled " . You may want to be alerted RE a film

that came out a couple of years ago that is also animated (puppet animation,

like " Nightmare Before Christmas " ) called " Coraline " . Its got a very scary Big

Bad Nada in it that gave me the creeps. The film has a happy ending, but even

so it can be very triggering for KOs who had/have Witch/Queen nadas or

step-nadas.

-Annie

>

> BPD alert: Just went with my kids to see the new Disney movie Tangled. Have

any of you seen this? It is based on the story of Rapunzel, and the woman who

kidnaps and raises her (who she believes is her mother) is a complete Nada!

Everyone in my family enjoyed the movie except me :-) There is one scene where

Rapunzel (about to turn 18) defies her Nada and leaves her tower for the first

time. She flips back and forth between sheer elation and joy at her new

freedom, and complete guilt and self-loathing for about 2 minutes. The audience

found it kind of funny, but it hit too close to home for me and made me cry. I

thought " oh yeah - I've never truly been able to experience joy and happiness

without feeling awful about it either! " Ugh! So many characteristics of this

fictional Nada reminded me of my own nada. Fortunately, the movie had lots of

fun moments as well, but I still can't shake that Nada character...

> *sigh*

> -

>

[Guest guest]

At least now you have a good example to refer people to if they wish to

understand what it is like as a KO!

I watched The Piano recently. People told me how romantic and lovely it was, I

found it traumatic, horrific and I cried through the whole thing. I wish I hadnt

seen it.

>

> BPD alert: Just went with my kids to see the new Disney movie Tangled. Have

any of you seen this? It is based on the story of Rapunzel, and the woman who

kidnaps and raises her (who she believes is her mother) is a complete Nada!

Everyone in my family enjoyed the movie except me :-) There is one scene where

Rapunzel (about to turn 18) defies her Nada and leaves her tower for the first

time. She flips back and forth between sheer elation and joy at her new

freedom, and complete guilt and self-loathing for about 2 minutes. The audience

found it kind of funny, but it hit too close to home for me and made me cry. I

thought " oh yeah - I've never truly been able to experience joy and happiness

without feeling awful about it either! " Ugh! So many characteristics of this

fictional Nada reminded me of my own nada. Fortunately, the movie had lots of

fun moments as well, but I still can't shake that Nada character...

> *sigh*

> -

>

[Guest guest]

We are taking my children to see Tangled this morning thanks for the heads up!

>

> BPD alert: Just went with my kids to see the new Disney movie Tangled. Have

any of you seen this? It is based on the story of Rapunzel, and the woman who

kidnaps and raises her (who she believes is her mother) is a complete Nada!

Everyone in my family enjoyed the movie except me :-) There is one scene where

Rapunzel (about to turn 18) defies her Nada and leaves her tower for the first

time. She flips back and forth between sheer elation and joy at her new

freedom, and complete guilt and self-loathing for about 2 minutes. The audience

found it kind of funny, but it hit too close to home for me and made me cry. I

thought " oh yeah - I've never truly been able to experience joy and happiness

without feeling awful about it either! " Ugh! So many characteristics of this

fictional Nada reminded me of my own nada. Fortunately, the movie had lots of

fun moments as well, but I still can't shake that Nada character...

> *sigh*

> -

>

[Guest guest]

,

I actually haven't posted in a while, but I signed in just to see if anyone had

posted about Tangled. I am so glad you did.

I had a similar reaction to the " humorous " scene where the princess escapes the

tower but feels so guilty that she flips and flops about going back. I don't

think I drew a breath during that scene it was so close to home.

Since seeing the movie, I keep thinking---Disney has made a movie about my

childhood (my NADA did and said nearly everything in the villain did and more)

and in a way it justified what I (we?) went through---the villain has no

boundaries and emotionally tortures this innocent child for her own selfish gain

with no thought of or care about what this is doing to the child. To me, the

movie is like a big bright sign that says to the rest of the world--- " Carefully

crafted emotional abuse that is clothed in " I love yous " is real, destructive

and as scary as " typical " villains (witches, monsters, etc). "

Also, like the lost princess heroine, I have escaped Nada (no contact for 22 of

the best months of my life) and found happiness and love in the big world Nada

never wanted me to experience. I found myself applauding her bravery for

breaking away from the tower and the villain.

As you can probably tell, it was a very emotional experience for me but I'm glad

the movie was made. I totally agree with you that anyone who has lived with

this type of abuse should be warned before seeing it--I had several children

with me and I didn't want any of them to see me cry.

Bunny

>

> BPD alert: Just went with my kids to see the new Disney movie Tangled. Have

any of you seen this? It is based on the story of Rapunzel, and the woman who

kidnaps and raises her (who she believes is her mother) is a complete Nada!

Everyone in my family enjoyed the movie except me :-) There is one scene where

Rapunzel (about to turn 18) defies her Nada and leaves her tower for the first

time. She flips back and forth between sheer elation and joy at her new

freedom, and complete guilt and self-loathing for about 2 minutes. The audience

found it kind of funny, but it hit too close to home for me and made me cry. I

thought " oh yeah - I've never truly been able to experience joy and happiness

without feeling awful about it either! " Ugh! So many characteristics of this

fictional Nada reminded me of my own nada. Fortunately, the movie had lots of

fun moments as well, but I still can't shake that Nada character...

> *sigh*

> -

>

[Guest guest]

>

>

>

> Haven't seen the movie, but I see what you're saying.  I had problems watching

I Am Sam, the movie with Penn as the mentally diabled parent of 6 year old

Dakota Fanning.  The movie was all about what a good dad he was, considering his

ability, and everyone felt he should get to keep her in the end.  I felt total

injustice for the little girl, who basically had no one to parent her and had to

actually become his parent, reading him bedtime stories etc.  I guess because I

sort of had her life, only with a BP mother who couldn't meet my needs, just

like Sam couldn't meet the needs of his daughter. 

>

>

>

Wow, I feel the same way about my childhood. I always felt like I totally got

ripped off in the mother department.

[Guest guest]

Dear Bunny, and others,

Thanks for the heads-up with this movie.

Bunny, I loved the last line in your post about emotional abuse being scary like

a typical villian. I have nightmares about my own mother. Something about this

just seems so wrong, you know?

I especially feel like I'm overreacting or being ridiculous because she didn't

abuse us physically or sexually that I know of - emotional, spiritual and

boundary/privacy stuff. But nothing serious enough to be reported as child

abuse legally. Yet, I have such a deep loathing, fear and repulsion for this

person that is almost inexplicable.

I can only guess that most of this feeling must come from infancy and/or when I

was very young. There were no witnesses during the first year of my life, so

who knows? Troubling.

-Coal Miner's Daughter

> >

> Since seeing the movie, I keep thinking---Disney has made a movie about my

childhood (my NADA did and said nearly everything in the villain did and more)

and in a way it justified what I (we?) went through---the villain has no

boundaries and emotionally tortures this innocent child for her own selfish gain

with no thought of or care about what this is doing to the child. To me, the

movie is like a big bright sign that says to the rest of the world--- " Carefully

crafted emotional abuse that is clothed in " I love yous " is real, destructive

and as scary as " typical " villains (witches, monsters, etc). "

>

> Bunny

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Bunny, and others,

Thanks for the heads-up with this movie.

Bunny, I loved the last line in your post about emotional abuse being scary like

a typical villian. I have nightmares about my own mother. Something about this

just seems so wrong, you know?

I especially feel like I'm overreacting or being ridiculous because she didn't

abuse us physically or sexually that I know of - emotional, spiritual and

boundary/privacy stuff. But nothing serious enough to be reported as child

abuse legally. Yet, I have such a deep loathing, fear and repulsion for this

person that is almost inexplicable.

I can only guess that most of this feeling must come from infancy and/or when I

was very young. There were no witnesses during the first year of my life, so

who knows? Troubling.

-Coal Miner's Daughter

> >

> Since seeing the movie, I keep thinking---Disney has made a movie about my

childhood (my NADA did and said nearly everything in the villain did and more)

and in a way it justified what I (we?) went through---the villain has no

boundaries and emotionally tortures this innocent child for her own selfish gain

with no thought of or care about what this is doing to the child. To me, the

movie is like a big bright sign that says to the rest of the world--- " Carefully

crafted emotional abuse that is clothed in " I love yous " is real, destructive

and as scary as " typical " villains (witches, monsters, etc). "

>

> Bunny

>

[Guest guest]

I LOVE this movie!!! Just took my kids to see it last night.

I would personally advise people with a BPD Mom to see it for sure. It

highlighted the reality of the situation so perfectly. And then showed a

inspirational and happy ending. The scariest thing for me was that I was

personally afraid of the nada character. That could definitely be triggering.

This movie is absolutely incredible! My husband just sat there with his mouth

hanging open for the first 10 minutes. He would look at the screen and then

look at me with this eyes wide open look. It was kind of funny watching him.

After the show, I asked what he thought. He said, " that character reminded me

so much of your mom! "

Anyone who has seen the movie or sees it soon, would you like to discuss the

metaphors? We could tag onto this subject line with a spoiler alert.

-Coal Miner's Daughter

>

> BPD alert: Just went with my kids to see the new Disney movie Tangled. Have

any of you seen this? It is based on the story of Rapunzel, and the woman who

kidnaps and raises her (who she believes is her mother) is a complete Nada!

Everyone in my family enjoyed the movie except me :-) There is one scene where

Rapunzel (about to turn 18) defies her Nada and leaves her tower for the first

time. She flips back and forth between sheer elation and joy at her new

freedom, and complete guilt and self-loathing for about 2 minutes. The audience

found it kind of funny, but it hit too close to home for me and made me cry. I

thought " oh yeah - I've never truly been able to experience joy and happiness

without feeling awful about it either! " Ugh! So many characteristics of this

fictional Nada reminded me of my own nada. Fortunately, the movie had lots of

fun moments as well, but I still can't shake that Nada character...

> *sigh*

> -

>